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YC -“the one that drives me absolutely insane is….. russian!!!!!!!”
Vut? You Crazy? Russky is Da best Langvudge. Das v’danyia.
I vonce vas in a school class vhere the only Americans vere me and the teacher. The rest vere Russkies. And I still didn’t learn to speak Russian. Charosho?
Avi K -“We already had an anti-Yiddish thread. My favorite is Hebrew. I think it is silly to speak Yiddish. If it is a language it belongs in the Museum of Languages.”
My favorite is Yiddish. I think it is silly to speak Ivrit. If it is a language it belongs in the Museum of FAKE/False Languages!
bh18 -“bli ayin hara…baruch Hashem…Well, we have lots to be grateful for! He gave me my get quickly on the scheduled day”
Well, why wouldn’t he? And how does “he” do it quickly? It’s the Sofer that can write quickly, nothing to do with the husband.
Does he give child support also?
Song -“I just need to find the one that is right for me.”
That’s exactly what I meant -Don’t let your Zivug pass you by because you are being picky.
Now it appears you feel that your first marriage wasn’t your Zivug or you feel it was and now you are on Zivug Sheni?
PBA – I didn’t know that, but it’s a good point.
Unless, almost noone were able to get jobs coming out of the Jewish schools.
uneeq -“Toeiva isn’t illegal in the US.”
Really? And here I thought the good ole US of A was in compliance with the 7 Mitzvos.
“Giving money to these groups can only possibly change some marriage laws, not laws about personal preference. Whether you give these groups money or not, no one can stop the Ta’avtanim from committing their aveiros.”
Really? So I guess we can’t outlaw killing s/o in someone’s private home.
Since when can’t something be illegal, even if we can’t always catch them?
“I personally, prefer not patronizing stores that support the advancement of Toeiva ideology. A Hashkafic decision, but not Halachic.”
It’s Halacha – if your money goes directly to them.
jbaldy22 -“@Health the op was talking about boycotting target in general as opposed to buying those specific products – i have no problem saying not to buy those specific products – the crazy part is boycotting the whole company of which there is no chiyuv what so ever”
Where in my posts did I say that I agree with him that it’s Ossur
to shop there?
I said I don’t like the store. I never said you have to boycott it – as long as those “Pride” products are clearly marked.
Don’t put words in my mouth.
too young for D -“my daughter was diagnosed a year ago when she was 1 1/2”
She probably was born with it.
“were trying to keep her # good but every time she eats she shoots up to 250 300
is that normal”
No, of course not. How is she getting the insulin?
If it’s an injection given by you -you might have to bolus before eating. (Some call this pre-bolus.)
I hope you take her to a pediatric endo. You should discuss this with her/him ASAP.
DA Moshe -“We paid back the loans that needed to be paid. We had money left over, and planned on doing some much-needed work on our home.”
You’re ahead of the game compared to me. I have no idea if I’ll ever pay off my loans. My wife left and took almost all the kids.
I have my family pay my kids’ tuition.
“Problem is the guy doesn’t take insurance, and I can’t afford to pay him what he charges.”
Wow -how lucky you are that you have insurance. I don’t and others that I know, also don’t. I could go on and on, but I don’t want to brag.
I’m sure your insurance company has a list of therapists who they cover. Find one by researching who is the better ones that take your insurance.
Sam2 -“The money has to in some way help them do an actual Ma’aseh Aveirah. That’s not happening in this case. There’s no way there’s any Issur.”
And – jbaldy22
I don’t like repeating myself over & over, but I’ll say it One more time!
The OP posted – “helping support the “toaviah” community through the donation of 100 percent of the purchase price to the Family Equality Council”
You buy this product and they give the money to this group.
The Rambam Shoftim -Hilchos Melachim 14 says – “And How are they Mechuyav on Judges? They have to establish a Justice system where they judge up in every town on the other 6 Mitzvos.”
So how would this apply in the USA? The Goyim have to create such a system within our existing system. So how is something illegal here? Our politicians vote and then it is signed by the executive officer.
So I reiterate, your money that goes to this org. is used to oppose any politician who would make Toieva illegal and is used to support any politician who will vote for any of their so-called “civil rights”.
By buying these products -“Pride” – (hopefully they are clearly labeled as such -so other products in Target are Muttar;)
you are directly being Meesiyah Leiday Aveira!
I hope this time I was clear enough or should I put it in BLOCK Letters?
shira -“Do you know how expensive that stuff is?? My question is who on earth is supplying this amount to yeshiva bochurim!”
You can ask the same question on cigs. It’s their parents who dole out the money. They weren’t Mechanech their kids right to Not smoke and/or drink and they don’t know how to get them help for their addiction(s). So they take the easy way out and pay for whatever they want.
Song -“and in addition I have children.”
The choices for marriage will Not be as good as without kids. So you might have to settle for things that you might not have wanted to. Make sure you prioritize what you absolutely won’t settle for and what you can live with even if it’s not ideal.
“One thing my mother told me when I separated was that if I wanted to make sure not to do the same mistakes over again I would have to change how I thought and some aspects of who I was to make sure I wouldn’t go for the same kind of person.”
This suggestion won’t be easy to implement. Therapy will make this much easier.
jbaldy22 -“You have a right to choose where you buy from but saying there are issurim involved is just plain silly.”
You actually have to read the posts carefully before commenting -otherwise this makes you look silly.
Sam2 -“Health: You didn’t answer my point. I think that the Chiluk between supporting the “pride” lifestyle and the actual Ma’aseh Aveirah is obvious. Your money might support individuals and a lifestyle, but I highly doubt that your money in any way, shape, or form is used to promote or help a Ma’aseh Aveirah. Hence, no Lifnei Iver or Mesayeah is Shayach here.”
That’s right -I didn’t. Perhaps you should re-read my post to Yitay. That wasn’t the Mitzva I was talking about. The one I was talking about – uses the money that you give to be Oiver it.
DY -“Then you should have directed your comment to the OP, not me.”
Because the possibility that the OP Did Not hear correctly. Either way, a lot of posters are making a mountain out of a moehill. If the Shadchan is/was the pushy type then this would be a topic to discuss -how to deal with it. From a one time convo -I don’t think you can make any inferences about s/o.
No One Mourns The Wicked -“I chose Fordham. Unfortunately the interships that Wurzweiler was offering were not anything that I would garner clinical skills from.”
If I were you I’d look into Touro. They have a Master’s program in SW both in the city and in Brooklyn. They are always off Shabbos and Yom Tov. You will find other Frum people in your class, usually. They have many varieties for internship for the second year. I went there, but not for social work.
yitayningwut -“There is no question of issur though.”
This is not what I think.
“No one is changing any laws with my twenty bucks. It will go from one person to the next, to the next, to the next, and then together with a million other dollars it might possibly be one of many factors in what causes whatever legislation you are referring to to be passed. Last I checked it was already legal for two people to do whatever they want in that regard.”
It doesn’t matter that it’s legal. They use the money to keep it legal and to get more “civil rights”. Even if they need lots of money to do this, every Prutah that is given to this cause is Meesiyah Leiday Aveira. This is such a simple concept -I don’t understand why you don’t Chap it.
“And I have no idea which one of the seven mitzvos it would break anyway.”
All Goyim are Mechuyav to have Courts and these Courts have to punish for the other 6. This money prevents any candidate to get into office that would illegalize their behavior. If we lived in a dictatorship then maybe the regular Hamone Am wouldn’t be Oiver on this Mitzva, but that’s not the way our Gov. works.
DY -“How about danning the OP l’kaf z’chus that she heard correctly?”
I didn’t say she didn’t hear correctly. I said maybe she/he “Meant premature”. The Shadchan possibly used the wrong word.
yitayningwut -“This is lifnei d’lifnei.”
No, it’s not. Using money to stop it from being illegal or to promote it would be Ossur as not keeping one of the 7 Mitzvos.
It’s no different than selling a product to be used for AZ.
Acc. to you that should also be L’fney D’lefney because no one forced them to use it for AZ. That was their decision. Using money to prevent Anti-Toeiva legislation isn’t Lifney D’lefney.
DY -“Looking back at the OP, the shadchan said that saying no is a little immature, which although might be unwise to say, is not the same as saying that the girl is immature.”
How about Danning the Shadchan L’caf Zecus? Maybe he/she meant to say “Premature”?
147 -“2scents:- I suggest:- Get Far Away from Baltimore, and never go back to that cruel weird location.”
It’s a lot better than anything in the NYC Metropolitan area!
yitayningwut -“Health – From a strictly halachic point of view there is no issue whatsoever. The issue would be Lifnei Iver, and you are too many steps removed from the actual issur for this to apply. See Avodah Zarah 14a and Shulchan Aruch YD 151:1 with the first Pischei Teshuva.”
You make it too easy. I was going to bring Rayos from Gittin, but you handed it to me.
Btw, I own a SA. I don’t need any links.
Back to the P.T. He got this from the Baer Haytiv. If you would have looked at the B.H. -you’d have seen if they are definitely going to use it for AZ -then it’s always Ossur.
I said buying Pride stuff is Zichur Ossur because they use the money to promote their lifestyle. In other words they use the money to promote legalization and other defenses. This isn’t L’fney D’lefney. This money is in violation of one of the 7. They are Mechuyav to pass laws and punish for the other 6. This money is used to fight this Chiyuv. What did you think they use this money for?!?!? So if you don’t know which products are being sold for this -then it would be Kmechza Oochemechza Domi.
But acc. to the OP they label it “Pride” products. So if this is true – you wouldn’t have a problem buying other stuff in Target.
Song -“its seriously not in the question. without going into details i wish it was possible but sometimes its not…”
I took your post from the other topic because I think it’s relevant to this one. I don’t know the reason of your divorce & I’m not prying, but whatever it was you feel you can’t live that way.
So how does one prevent the same thing from happenning again?
100% you can’t prevent because that’s in Hashem’s hand, but we can make Histadlus. So try to go back and see what little clues you missed when you were dating the first time around to clue you into what your spouse was really about. Try to focus on these subtle signs when you are dating again.
SoB -“How do you know when you’re ready?”
Maybe there is more than one reason Chazal said you have to wait 90 days. A Divorcee has to be extra careful – more than s/o on the first time around.
yitayningwut -“Haha. Yeah right.”
What’s this sneer/sarcasm about?
I doubt that they don’t label it, but if they don’t – then every product would be a Sofek Issur. Because buying something that 100% is going for Toeiva is Zichur Ossur.
You claim to be the Mumcha in Taarovos. This is Kevuah and it’s Kmechzta Oomechtza Domi. Did you say “Yeah right” for everything that didn’t jive with you when you learnt SA?
Toi -“Most guys need 7-10 beers to get drunk.”
Now this statement is Not true for most males.
The avg. male weighs about 180 pounds and if he drinks 6 beers (12 oz/ beer) he is intoxicated (drunk). His BAC (blood alcohol level) is 0.13.
“0.13-0.15 BAC: Gross motor impairment and lack of physical control. Blurred vision and major loss of balance. Euphoria is reduced and dysphoria (anxiety, restlessness) is beginning to appear. Judgment and perception are severely impaired.”
In other words -DRUNK!
Toi -“Health- lets keep questions asked here within the realm of normal conversation.”
That question was based on her post. Perhaps you should read all the posts before commenting.
Be Happy -“It is all voluntary and could not be done without phones.”
I already admitted that we use phones for important things. My point was comparing phone usage to Net usage. There are many more Aveiros occuring over the phone than over the Net.
Yenta -“its demeaning, stereotypical, insulting and making false assumptions.”
It’s only this way -if you want it to be this way.
Most girls nowadays marry Kollel guys – putting you in the Rov is Not “demeaning, stereotypical, insulting and making false assumptions”. It’s just putting you in the Rov.
Same thing with the nursing home – Most RN jobs for Newbees are in the nursing homes – so I put you in the Rov of Newbees.
Brocha v’hatzlacha. These type of comments like I made should be the worst type of Tzoros you should ever have.
yichusdik – “I guess my point is that your choice, which is personal and you are certainly entitled to it, is a political and social one, not a religious one. Don’t fool yourself into justifying your actions religiously, because halocho doesn’t require you to do this.”
This I believe is wrong. (Disclaimer – I’m only going with what the OP wrote – I didn’t check it out myself.)
The OP wrote -“I recently became aware that Target is selling Pride (for toaviah) merchandise.”
Now, he doesn’t specify whether these products are labeled as such. If they are, there definitely would be an Issur in buying them because all the money is going towards the Toeiva agenda.
Other products in the store would be Muttar to purchase.
If the product(s) aren’t labeled as such – then any product in the store becomes a Sofek. This could very well be a problem in Halacha. So his warning is Apropos!
Mod -18 -“Health, many of us are from Brooklyn where we do not have many of the stores you list. Target is one of the few department stores we have.”
I decided to research it for you. You have 2 Kmarts in Manhattan, at least 1 in Queens, & 2 in Staten Island.
Lowes – you have 2 in Brooklyn – 1 in Kings Plaza and the other downtown Brooklyn @ 118 2nd Ave. (Gowanus).
You also have a Best Buy & a Kohls in Brooklyn on Bay Pkwy. past the Highway by the water (right past Bensonhurst).
Be Happy – Let’s see – Chazal say to bring the Geula we must stop LH & Sinas Chinum (acc. to the C.C.). So how about stopping LH & Sinas Chinum?
I think people think if they mean well (Toieles) that it isn’t LH. It is; unless you have the six other things that are mentioned in the C.C. with the Toieles.
So when s/o asks info for a Shidduch, if you don’t have all 7 conditions, you are Oiver LH.
I think we need an Asifa to outlaw having any phone.
“What – are you nuts?” I think with phones people do much more Issurim than with the Internet. (I’m not talking about driving & talking – which is a separate Issur.) Most phone convos are just Shmoozing with friends, not making appts. or other important things. Very often the conversation leads to talking about others. This talking about others is usually LH, even if you don’t realize it.
Niazik – They also hire very openly Toieva males. It’s a sick store. Almost everytime I walk in there -I come out empty-handed.
Either they don’t have what I want or they are overpriced.
I manage with Walmart, Kmart, Lowes, Home Depot & Best Buy.
Kohls is good for Shmahtes. There is absolutely nothing you can’t find in these other stores. I think people are obsessed with Target because of the way they set the stores up -everything in red. People are attracted to fancy displays.
Yenta – Now you can get some job in a nursing home so you can support a guy in Kollel.
PBA -“The question is what if I need to water to avoid being uncomfortable.”
This is your mistake. Your situation of hiking, esp. in hot weather -there is no way to know if your hunger/thirst pangs are due to your obesity (if you’re fat) or due to bodily needs. So since there is no way to know -you’d be Mechuyav to eat and drink.
I don’t know even I ran tests -if I’d be able to tell. So now you’re in a Sofek Sakana whether you realize it or not.
Whether you’re allowed to go hiking without water to wash in the first place is something you have to ask your LOR!
zvei dinim -“Toi there is documentation of the Chazon Ish’s instructions for brain surgery (Shu”t Ugnazim Chazon Ish vol. 1), which subsequently saved the patients life.”
I knew the guy. He had the surgery as a baby. I knew him as an adult. He had quite a few kids. He was left with a skin disease and subsequently lost an ear. They say this happenned because the Docs didn’t do exactly as the Chazon Ish said. His tumor eventually came back and he died about twenty years ago.
PBA -“Health: I could also just put that canteen also in my backpack, where it would be easier to carry.”
Obviously, you could. And you could carry more water in your camel back. But I got the impression you didn’t want to carry more on your back. A small canteen elsewhere would not be a burden.
You seem to be looking for a Heter beforehand. I don’t think there is one.
But once a person is hiking and they feel hungry and the water they have is for drinking – esp. in hot weather -they should eat and drink without getting water to wash.
Why? Maybe they can make it to the next waterhole? Because once in this situation it’s a Sofek Sakana and you wouldn’t be allowed to wait. Yes, water alone is Not always sufficient to sustain you -you need calories (& lytes).
So try to carry extra water with you. If you forgot or miscalculated – you must eat and drink without delay.
Just clean your hands and don’t touch the bread.
I just saw a case of Heat exhaustion yesterday. And this is with electricity in town and a few feet from a house where he could have cooled off and taken in water and other stuff he needed. Instead he had to go to the hospital.
There is a reason it says “…Nafeshoysachem MEOD”.
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
PBA – You didn’t understand me – carry a small canteen on your waist or in your pocket for washing. (Besides the drinking water.)
I take the Brooklyn Bridge during daytime to exit at the Holland tunnel. Otherwise at nite I take the Manhattan to the Holland. At nite Canal St. moves.
There is no guarantee this is faster. It depends on the meter maids. Last time I went up Hudson St. & the maids weren’t letting you make that left. So I saved no time either way I would have gone. Maybe next time I’ll go all the way to West St. & then turn on Canal going East. Almost always the maids let you make that left into the tunnel.
The problem with the city is that you need at least 50 IQ to direct traffic and the maids don’t even have that much!
PBA -“So but what if you have water with you?”
Since this was planned -you should have planned water for washing.
What I would have done is taken water for drinking in one of those camel backs & filled a canteen for washing. In this heat using your canteen for washing is taking undue chances, if you don’t have a camel back container.
ItcheSrulik -“Boich svara time.
The general klal with d’rabbanans is that you can ignore them b’kum v’aseh for a choleh she’en bo sakana and kal v’chomer b’shev v’al ta’aseh. Dehydration is considered a choleh she’en bo sakana for the rabbinic fast days, so why not for netilas yadayim as well?”
Yes you said it. A Boich Svara.
Dehydration at a certain level is Sakonas Nefoshos. Unless you’re an expert in medicine you probably don’t know the difference between dangerous dehydration and not -so any level of dehydration is a Sofek Sakana.
TCG -“In return, I get excellent cover at basically no direct cost to me at all. Same story in Israel”
There is a reason the US has the best healthcare in the world.
If the system ain’t broke why fix it?
I’m not saying there are no problems, but for anybody who has somewhat of a brain in his head doesn’t say -“Well we have these problems -so let’s have socialized medicine.”
You would only say that if all the countries in the world had better medical care than us, not when they have worse.
But you libs like drinking the DemocRATS Kool Aid!
I know a Doc who made Aliya, but travels every two weeks to work in the US. He told me he does this because his wife as a school teacher makes more money than he would practicing medicine in Israel.
Slavery should be dead for e/o and that includes expecting medical personnel to work for next to nothing!
far east -“Notice how he says you should be CAREFUL not to drink a LOT. Does he say its assur anywhere? It may be an issue of ushmartem es nafsheichem, but then again so is drinking any unhealthy drinks such as soda.”
He has a whole chapter on Drunkedness. Obviously I couldn’t quote the whole thing, but e/o should look it up themselves.
Yes, he does differentiate between drinking a lot and getting drunk.
Getting drunk -he says is Ossur. Drinking a lot -he says is a very Bad Middah.
Noone talked about “ushmartem es nafsheichem”. This is something you made up. I don’t think this would apply to drinking a lot once in awhile, just like it doesn’t apply to soda. But you can ask your LOR about this.
Getting back to the topic. The OP was talking about drunks and so was some other posters. This is clearly Ossur & a Chillul Hashem acc. to the C.C.
Even if your kid (or you) just drinks a lot, even on let’s say just Fri. nite, without getting drunk, this is a very bad Middah.
Do you want your kid(s) (or yourself) to have a very bad Middah?
I know I don’t!
far east -“147- thats a little extreme dont you think. Nothing wrong with drinking occasionally as long as you control yourself and dont get wasted”
Well that’s not the opinion of the C.C. that I just quoted.
His first line is -“You should be careful not to drink a lot whether wine or liquor or other alcoholic drinks. Because it’s a Bad Middah Ad Meod and it could end his Guf till his Nefesh.”
If a Bochur drinks during the Shabbos Seudah a small cup is fine, but I don’t think the OP is talking about that!
Like Romney & Bohener said -they will repeal it. Go Conservatives or at least if they aren’t conservatives -Go Repubs!
Toi -“lo nitnah torah limalachey hashareis. if i can raise kids that will be satisfied rebelling in these aspects, but will willingly abstain from movies, music, internet, gambling, drugs, and everything else the average teen is oisek in i will be happy.”
Who said some of these are Ossur and even if they all are who said they are worse than drinking?
E/o heard of the C.C. and he wrote a Sefer called Machneh Yisroel for people in the army and in it he has 26 chapters. One of the chapters is Shikrous (drunkedness).
I won’t repeat the whole chapter, just a part. He starts out saying a Talmid Chachum and for sure an Am Haaretz should never get drunk, but I want to repeat a part towards the end.
“Any Jew & esp. one in the army, if they find him even one time …or they find him drunk…there is a Big Chillul Hashem because the Goyim will start talking about Jews and their G-d and on and on.
Then he talks about how terrible the Aveira of Chillul Hashem is.”
The only thing I want to add, is that even if these Bochurim don’t do it in front of Goyim, they do it Betzina (hidden), it still is a Chillul Hashem. Because Rishonim explain the Ikkar Aveira of Chillul Hashem is in front of other Jews. So one or more Bochur(im) doing it in front of their friends would constitute a Chillul Hashem.
I was out of the tri-state area this week and what I noticed was that amongst the Frum kids riding bikes, not like most Frum kids in our area who don’t wear helmets, (Of course there always is a small percentage who do), almost all Frum kids were wearing helmets.
GAW -“LWMO” Don’t know what this stands for.
“It is a matter of priorities, and smoking is so low down, it is being treated as muttar.”
Exactly. This one of the reasons I’m against Asifas. Because whatever you make the Asifa on -you lower the priority of something else.
So if you make an Asifa against the Net, many other things lose their priority; eg. smoking, Loshon Hora, etc.
TCG -“was caught by kids from a local yeshiva who put him in an oven and were just turning it on when an adult spotted it and freed the cat.”
Ober, they will make the oven Traif. So it can’t be true -your Meissa. (;0