Forum Replies Created
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bein_hasdorim-
bombmaniac-
bombmaniac-
Thank you.
Getch’er fresh corn here.
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
You will. For the Dec. 30 lotto drawing.
Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
This is like asking why a vacuum salesman dumps dirt on your carpet. To justify the need for its own existence.
Why is a boxing ring square?
The boxing ring is the ringing in the ears of the 86% (estimated by the A.M.A.) of boxers with brain damage.
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on “Start”?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
So are some cars.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy booze when you can’t drink and drive?
Liquor store owners like to laugh at your funny license picture.
Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why did kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do dead musicians decompose? Are divorcees debrided? Are optimists decanted?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If UPS and Chuck Wagon merged what would it be called?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Lipton is very accommodating to employees wanting to take coffee breaks. They are free to enjoy their libation in the Julius & Ethel Rosenberg room.
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
Caucasian, Black or Asian?
anon for this-
oomis1105-
Thank you.
An oldie but goodie – Answers:
1. 7 = Wonders of the Ancient World
2. 1001 = Arabian Nights
3. 12 = Signs of the Zodiac
4. 54 = Cards in a Deck (with the jacks)
5. 9 = Planets in the Solar System*
6. 88 = Piano Keys
7. 13 = Stripes on the American Flag
8. 32 = Degrees Fahrenheit at which Water Freezes
9. 90 = Degrees in a Right Angle
10. 99 = Bottles of Beer on the Wall
11. 18 = Holes on a Golf Course
12. 8 = Sides on a Stop Sign
13. 3 = Blind Mice (See How They Run)
14. 4 = Quarts in a Gallon
15. l = Wheels on a Unicycle
16. 5 = Digits in a Zip Code
17. 24 = Hours in a Day
18. 57 = Heinz Varieties
19. 11 = Players on a Football Team
20. 1000 = Words that a Picture is Worth
21. 29 = Days in February in a Leap Year
22. 64 = Squares on a Chessboard
23. 40 = Days and Nights of the Great Flood
24. 2 = To Tango*
25. 76 = Trombones in a Big Parade**
26. 8 = Great Tomatoes in a Little Bitty Can**
27. 101 = Dalmations
28. 23 = Skidoo*
31. 5 = Great Lakes
32. 7 = Deadly Sins*
33. 2.5 = Children in a Typical American Family*
35. 3 = Men in a Tub
*I didn’t get
**Not only didn’t I get it, I have no clue what this is about
(as promised…)
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liiiiiiii <– ? ???????? ?????
…&…
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ll <– ? ??? ???
Ok, ok;
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Detective fiction for teens:
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haifagirl-
My pleasure.
I use Google and (to a much lesser extent) Bing all the time for work and stuff like this.
Google can find info about almost anything.
Combine that with the fact that it saves all searches forever (including your IP address), it’s more like Big Brother than any other man-made thing in history.
oldmanhonah-
Agatha Christie wrote her books in different styles.
I’ll mention that right-and-wrong play a part in the above three books, as well as pure detection.
Personally I liked the Poirot books.
You may want to consider Ellery Queen books (if you can get them) – the full-length novels, not the short-story anthologies.
The Nero Wolfe series by Rex Stout is also quite good, and OK as far as I remember.
A Google search brought up an answer that makes a lot more sense.
Think of the old Eveready batteries.
Recently, advice on a how-to issue was sought.
A different poster took the time to write out detailed instructions answering the question.
The exchange ended there.
haifagirl-
Two possibilities come to mind:
1) Links of a chain (probably not, since I don’t see the significance of nine links)
2) Lights of a Chanukia (menorah, couting the shamiss).
An oldie but goodie. This is at least 7 – 8 years old.
INSTRUCTIONS
Each equation contains the initials of words that will make it a correct statement. Your job is to finish the missing words. For example: 26 = L. of the A. would be 26 = Letters of the Alphabet. Good luck.
1. 7 = W. of the A.W.
2. 1001 = A. N.
3. 12 = S. of the Z.
4. 54 = C. in a D. (with the j.)
5. 9 = P. in the S. S.
6. 88 = P. K.
7. 13 = S. on the A. F.
8. 32 = D. F. at which W.F.
9. 90 = D. in a R. A.
10. 99 = B. of B. on the W.
11. 18 = H. on a G. C.
12. 8 = S. on a S. S.
13. 3 = B. M. (S. H. T. R.)
14. 4 = Q. in a G.
15. l = W. on a U.
16. 5 = D. in a Z. C.
17. 24 = H. in a D.
18. 57 = H. V.
19. 11 = P. on a F. T.
20. 1000 = W. that a P. is W.
21. 29 = D. in F. in a L. Y.
22. 64 = S. on a C.
23. 40 = D. and N. of the G.F.
24. 2 = T. T.
25. 76 = T. in a B. P.
26. 8 = G. T. in a L. B. C.
27. 101 = D.
28. 23 = S.
29. 4 = H. a J. G. F.
30. 16 = M. on a D. M. C.
31. 5 = G. L.
32. 7 = D. S.
33. 2.5 = C. in a T.A.F.
34. 1, 2, 3 = S. Y. O. at the O. B. G.
35. 3 = M. in a T.
36. 13 = B. D.
Yoboneh Hamikdosh (MBD) – Bursting with optimism.
Hamaloch Hagoel (Abie Rottenberg) – What every parent davens for.
Sholom Aleichem (Shlomo Carlebach) – I just like the way he sings it.
Hinei Yomim Ba’im (Don’t know the singer) – We are in golus, and this is what we miss.
(A non-music-appreciating person’s list. I hear these when others play them.)
I saw a book titled “1001 Children’s Books You Must Read Before You Grow Up” by Julia Eccleshare in a bookstore last night. The book contains a huge listing of children’s books and included many classics I recognized as well as several I never heard of. The selection is global, not just U.S. books. I was interested in buying the book until I saw the price: $36.99
It is available for a lot less on Amazon.
Based on my quick scan of the book, I think it’s a worth considering if you want to get an idea of what’s out there from a very wide and diverse perspective.
(Obviously this book was not written with the frum consumer in mind, but being that these are kids’ books, hopefully there wouldn’t be objectionable material.)
Jewish:
The Man Who Rode With Eliyahu HaNavi by Leibel Estrin
(I saw this book in a relative’s house this past Shabbos – icot.)
Like most of us, Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Levi wonders why good things happen to bad people, and why bad things happen to those who are good. One night he is given the opportunity to find out, as he joins Eliyahu HaNavi on his travels. Through delicate watercolor paintings and thoughtful dialogue, the young reader learns even if it sometimes appears otherwise everything Hashem does is always for the best. -from Amazon review
-For all ages, but written for younger kids.
-Cautionary notes: none.
Highly recommended.
YW Moderator-80-
I was referring to the “gut Shabbos – gut Yom Tov” wishes.
…but…
You’re absolutely correct about what is in the Mishna Berura ???”?.
I wouldn’t want the the drawings’ order to be misleading.
Since this is a (somewhat) uncommon two-Shabbos Chanuka, I’ll B”N take the opportunity to reverse the order later this week.
Gut voch.
gavra_at_work-
Its not only affinity, its also exposure. Without exposure, children will not be aware of the possibilities out there.
There is already exposure from the first eight years of schooling. This additional exposure would come at the expense of mandating three or four years of schooling in extremely difficult subjects. The only beneficiaries would be the students that were not interested in the subject beforehand but now would be interested. To compel everyone to put in an additional 3-4 years for this small group’s benefit isn’t reasonable.
This is not intended to minimize the importance of these subjects and their related professions.
Law, good government, crime prevention, and business management (just to pick a few examples) are also extremely important, but the courses needed for these professions are mostly not taught in High School.
In addition, for the yeshivish world, anything labeled an elective will be dismissed by rabbaim who will push for learning instead.
Not to get into this topic, but just a quick observation from my yeshiva days – “black hat” rabeim and roshei yeshiva don’t all have a monolithic “learning over anything, for everyone” approach. Although their lives revolve around the yeshiva, they aren’t oblivious to real-world requirements, as well as the fact that not everyone can learn all day.
oomis1105-
bombmaniac-
Thank you. The art is someone else’s, cut & pasted by me.
YW Moderator-80-
Todir ve’aino todir, todir koidem.
happiest-
Whatever you do, keep on fighting.
All of the other posters have given thoughtful advice, opinions and encouragement.
I was going to post a list of some famous and accomplished people who suffered from depression and managed to overcome it and do great things, but such a list would be too large to include here.
Let me just mention that Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill (arguably the greatest American and British leaders) are on the list, and look at what they’ve managed to accomplish.
Hatzlocha raba.
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Thanks again, for the additional responses.
I appreciate those who took time to consider the question and then think out and write their answer / opinion.
Replies in order:
feivel–
Shalom aleichem icot (why do we say that in the plural?)
I never thought of that. Possibly to keep the greeting consistent whether addressing an individual or a group? In case someone is hiding behind be?
(Aleichem shalom.)
gavra_at_work–
If I understand you correctly, your point is that doctors, engineers, scientists, geologists, and others whose fields are heavily dependent on advanced math and science would not have made the career choice they did if not for the mandatory H.S. curriculum. Although the number of students choosing those fields is a minority, those professions are important enough to warrant the inclusion and retention of the H.S. math and science subjects.
Pashuteh Yid–
The potential for innovation is so vast, nobody will ever have to worry that there is nothing left to discover.
I assume you disagree with the statement supposedly made by the U.S. Patent Commissioner in 1899 that, “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
I agree with Anonymrs that it is essential to have a good Kodesh and Chol education. However, the sad fact is that it usually is one or the other.
When I was in HS (sometime last century) there were several yeshivos, including mine, that had reputations of taking both limudai kodesh and secular subjects seriously.
BTW, not all literature is bad, and much is inspiring and is about the goodness of the world and the people that inhabit it.
True.
anon for this–
I do believe that students should know basic historical facts. No, they don’t need to know when Lincoln was elected to Congress, but they should know the facts about his presidency and the Civil War (especially because in some ways this country is still living with its aftereffects). If historical accounts are sometimes subject to falsehood and speculation as feivel argues, that’s all the more reason to teach students the facts, so they’ll recognize when someone is trying to deceive them.
Agreed.
Most of us in our daily routines are confronted with various scientific & mathematical claims: “Vaccines cause autism!” or “You can double your money in a year by investing in my fund!” A basic knowledge of math and science gives one the tools to critically evaluate this sort of information.
This is a peeve of mine too, as I griped to a previous poster.
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(Wow – lots of folks here with impressive academic credentials, that far exceed mine.)
Thanks you all for taking the time to post on this topic.
Gut Shabbos.
feivel-
Welcome back.
It’s always nice to hear from you, and I agree with everything you said.
Your additions to the “Nifla’os ha’borai” thread are missed.
But…
…now that we have your attention, what’s your opinion re: the matter at hand?
bombmaniac-
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
1) My points have nothing to do with learning in kollel vs. working.
2) There is no distinction made between Jews and non-Jews.
Please take the time to read and understand a post before responding to it. Every single point made in your most recent response was based on an incorrect or incomplete understanding of what I was saying. Perhaps I could have written my post more clearly.
I know there are posters here who have careers which require advanced math and/or scientific knowledge.
There are also posters who hold a Ph.D in one or the other of these subjects.
What are their (your) thoughts on this topic?
Shidduch Solution-
“…I spent close to $18,000.00 to build this site…“
Seriously, have you spoke to an accountant about possibly setting up your site / organization in a way that would be beneficial to yourself and other donors as a tax deduction?
Tizku lemitzvos for your endeavors at such an important inyan & hatzlocha raba.
anonymrs-
The only reason we learn things is for their practical use, otherwise they are useless?
1) No, but the only reason we should be compelled to learn something is for its practical use.
2) Except as a mental exercise (which I will concede math is) or for fun, yes, that does fit the definition of useless learning.
In that case, we should not learn anything about geography or history – and that would INCLUDE Jewish history, because it serves no practical purpose.
1) I explained above that there are good reasons for learning history (at least certain aspects of it).
2) As I stated earlier, this is not frum-centric.
As Jews we are proud of our history, so why should we not know at least the BASICS of American history? Perhaps show just a BIT of gratitude towards the country that, until now, has welcomed us.
3) As stated above, this not frum-centric.
As for English, well….just read many of the posts on ANY Jewish website, and you will see (if you have a good command of grammar and the English language) that basic skills such as spelling and proper grammar are sorely lacking.
2) Hatzlocha raba.
Thanks to those who responded.
This is an instance where I was hoping to hear opposing points of view and their reasons.
To address people in order:
Mayan_Dvash–
Besides, how would you learn certain Gemaras and Tosfos in Sukka and Eruvin for example without knowledge of Geom. and Trig?
Science certainly has practical real-world value e.g. how cleaning agents work, what happens if one were to mix ammonia and bleach
artchill-
bombmaniac-
I think your responses were based on a misunderstanding, which hopefully was clarified.
Pashuteh Yid–
2) Blue-collar work and the manufacturing industry are somewhat better. They take an existing raw product and improve it, for a visible tangible benefit. (Obviously, they need to start with an existing product, since only H-shem can make something from nothing). There is some profit to be made from their labor.
3) Scientists, inventors and innovators perform the most valuable work of all. It is thanks to them that certain diseases have been mostly or wholly eradicated, the average lifespan has been greatly increased, and the quality of life is improved dramatically. We are not living in primitive huts on Eurasia thanks to scientific advances. There is big money to be made in this field. Job security is a nice fringe-benefit of this profession.
Responses:
3) Our standard of living and quality of life is incomparable to what existed as recently as 100 years ago, and this is almost wholly due to science, invention and innovation.
4) Yes back-office workers (or janitors) are more replaceable than top R&D scientists.
I am in total agreement with you about the importance of scientific research and innovation.
havesomeseichel–
[it]
Just to clarify:
I am by no means suggesting that parents pull their kids out of required courses which are mandated by the board of ed.
I am advocating for a change in the required courses.
Counterpoints to dissenters may follow (OK, probably will follow) later. This is just a clarification.
Please see this thread:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/chanuka-presents
itsallyourfault-
Add one more voice to the chorus of yeses.
I know of at least two cases where a “no” ended up with a B”H happily married couple.
Since the girl was the one who said no, I strongly agree with “NY Mom” who said a third-party shadchan should be used – it could be very uncomfortable and even seem stalker-ish to call a girl directly after she said “no”.
Hatzlocha raba.
-Workplace safety (mainly manufacturing)
Many of the greatest strides in workplace safety came about as a result of the early unions (not that they are without problems). Since the government has taken over the oversight of workplace safety the have over-regulated it, as they have most other things. Or, as someone once said, whenever you hear of a new chumra, someone just invented a new product.
Yes, unions had a lot to do with labor laws. This isn’t disagreeing with my point that this is an area where government regulation has been beneficial. If your point is that laws may not have been passed without union pressure, I may have to agree with that (at least to a certain extent).
-Child labor (all industry)
The government did succeed in taking children out of many dangerous occupations, and has instead placed them in big institutions of indoctrination. While it is certainly good to keep children out of the mines, government schools are not the best place for children.
Child labor and mandatory education are two separate subjects. I don’t share your view of education.
-Minimum wage (low-skilled jobs)
Minimum wage in the US is a joke. Do you really think people can afford to live on $7.25/hour? That’s less than $300/week. If the government were serious about a minimum wage that people can actually live on, it would be more in the $20 range.
That sounds like a great idea. Actually, to pay several tuitions and a mortgage, minimum wage would need to be in the $60 + range. Unfortunately, that would be unsustainable. Most businesses that pay low wages couldn’t afford a minimum wage of $20 an hour and would shut down. For a full-time breadwinner it isn’t enough, but for teenagers, as a second job, or just to help the primary wage earner it’s a lot better than nothing. For someone who is between good-paying jobs it can be a welcome supplement to food stamps and other social programs.
-Anti-trust (all industry)
Unfortunately, I don’t have my library at hand to do the research needed on anti-trust legislation and how the FTC has overstepped their authority. We’ll have to save that for another day.
If your point is that some monopolies that the govt. broke up were relatively benign, you’re probably right. I assume you’re not in favor of legalizing price fixing and collusion.
-Insider trading (brokerage)
I’m not quite sure what is wrong with using inside information to your benefit. Nobody has ever explained that to me. Perhaps you can.
The stock market would cease to exist if people had no way of knowing if they were being played for patsies by insiders who had information they were not privy to. Can you imagine the killing the investigators who busted Enron could’ve made if they legally could have shorted the stock before the scandal broke?
This isn’t even touching on the issues of fairness, a level playing field, and a broker having within his power the ability to enrich one client and make another a pauper at a whim.
-Discrimination (all industry)
1) What’s wrong with discrimination? 2) As a business-owner, shouldn’t you have the right to hire and fire whoever you choose? For whatever reason? 3) Why should you be forced to work with people you do not want to work with?
1) It’s reprehensible. It’s un-American. It’s a violation of civil rights law. 2) Yes, unless they’re in a protected class. 3) You’re not forced to work with them. You can quit or sell your business.
-Reasonable accommodation for handicapped / special needs (all industry)
Would you really like a list of every accommodation made for one handicap that adversely affected someone with a different handicap? Not sure I have the time for all that.
If a major convenience for one group can be done while creating a minor inconvenience to another, it probably should be done. If there is no overall gain, it probably shouldn’t be done. In the case of your friend: a) without the wide outward-swinging door mandated by law, she couldn’t get into the stall anyway. b) if the majority of wheelchair bound people require a low-slung fixture, that’s probably how the rules would require it. c) if the company wanted to be really “mentchlich” they could’ve added a second handicapped stall with a low fixture for your friend.
Just keep in mind what a regulation is. It’s someone’s way of saying, “I want you to behave in a certain manner. And if you choose not to behave in that manner, we will have someone with a badge, a uniform and a gun make sure you DO behave in the desired manner.”
Yes, laws are meant to be enforced. Otherwise, someone might violate one with impunity and say something about “There is no controlling legal authority that says this was in violation of law.”
YW Moderator-42-
Happy anniversary!
You are a pearl among moderators, a safe harbor for those who wish to schmooze on a frum site.
I seemed to remember that today’s date was an anniversary of a momentous event – now I know what it was.
P.S. – Thanks for setting up the HTML thread links, and the retrieval of the “wildly popular” thread.
NY Mom-
Thank you for the kind words.
See if you still feel that way after my (somewhat mild) anti-corporate rant on another thread.
????? ???? ???? ?? ???
Although this is a more healthful recipe than fried latkes, the defeat of the Yevonim is a yom tov that everyone agreece may not be the occasion to enforce a culinary no-fry zone (Mom can bagDad with some other dietary rule).
Gut Shabbos.
ronrsr-
I had the same question when I left yeshiva and entered the secular working world.
I remembered learning that specifically wishing a happy Dec. 25 using the standard expression was a problem.
In order to maintain darkei sholom (if for no other reason), I asked if it was permitted to wish one’s non-Jewish colleague a “MC”.
The answer I was given was no, it isn’t allowed, because of avoda zorah. I don’t recall if it is a vadai or sofek, and the halachic reasoning behind why that particular holiday wish is an issue.
I have no authority to pasken, and if your rov tells you otherwise so be it.
Please be aware though that there is more than just a willingness to “be nice” as the issue here – there is a potentially serious issur (which is the reason for the “minimal editing” that I did in the original post of this wildly popular thread: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/swiping-your-money )
Thanks a lot!
The original thread is at:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/need-hadars-american-number