Forum Replies Created
Bais Yaakov in BP is not closing.
The half day program is better than the intensive program, the intensive program leaves too much time empty for most girls and the hours are not good for doing anything else at the same time.
Think4- yes, of course we should be happy with our lot and be serving Hashem – but to say that “I am happy being single” is like saying “i am happy having a nisayon” – we don’t ask for nisyonos even though they are good for us and we should say, “I am happy to be where I am and I hope to be able to serve Hashem even better.”
We are having the same conversation Elkanah and Chana had in Sefer Shmuel. Elkanah said to Chana, “Aren’t you happy with what you have, am I not better to you than ten sons?” Because yes, even without children Chana could serve Hashem. This is like you saying, “What’s wrong with being happy with being single, or childless ch”v?”
Chana didn’t answer him but davened to Hashem, saying, “Hashem please let me use everything, every part of my body, to serve Hashem. Please give me a son, a regular child who will serve You, Hashem.” And we see that her Tefilos were answered.
Similarly, I think it is right for a single girl to daven to Hashem, saying, “Hashem please let me use everything You created me for, please let me marry a husband with whom I can build a Bayis Neeman B’Yisrael to glorify You.” And may every one of our tefilos be answered for the good.
Say “I am happy serving Hashem now, and I hope to serve Hashem more with the added responsibility of marriage.” But to say “I am happy being single” strikes me the wrong way.
SJS: Absolutely!! Of course a person can, should, and MUST develop themselves to serve Hashem before they get married. Yes marriage brings with it responsibilities and makes it hard to do certain things that used to be taken for granted, but that is part of the challenges that makes marriage the tremendous vehicle of serving Hashem that it can be. Marriage does not make it harder to serve Hashem, it makes it easier.
mischeif maker- be VERY careful before assuming someone is anorexic. An anorexic person has problems with body image and will not eat junk even if they are hungry. Most anorexic girls will refuse to eat at all in front of other people. That girl is not anorexic, it could be she has some digestive problem or forgets to eat but anorexia has to do with body image, not just not eating.
If she eats junk when she’s hungry, she is definitely NOT anorexic. She is just on the opposite extreme of those who always feel hungry, she probably doesn’t naturally feel hungry. (I’m like this too, sometimes I don’t realize I need to eat until I start to feel weak.)
Yanky55- I AM a single girl in shidduchim around 20 years old. And I am not judging anyone. I am just saying that I think it is right for a girl to want to get married, and that being single is not a good situation to be in even if you are happy and fulfilled, because why not use everything Hashem gave you to serve Hashem?
TrueBas Yisrael- Yes but it’s different to say “I am happy with whatever Hashem gives me in life” than to say “I am just as happy being single as being married”. THe latter i think is not hashkafically correct.
Doesn’t it say in the Gemara that a woman wants to be married more than a man does? Better to be alone than a widow?
I think it makes sense for a woman to want to get married early. I’m always a bit surprised by those who say they’re happy being single. Isn’t it a bit like saying I’m happy I don’t have anyone to give to?
BP TOtty- I don’t want to disclose my BMI but suffice it to say that it is possible to be thinner than that! it has a lot to do with bone structure as well, though, as I alluded to earlier. The ranges of healthy weight are different for those with delicate bone structures than for those who have thicker bones. (btw it’s better to have heavier bones, it makes you stronger).
In other words, size, weight, height, etc does not help! what you want to knwo is if the person is HEALTHY. That’s what you need to build a bayis neeman byisrael v’nishmartem meod l’nafshoseichem!
BP Totty- I agree!
(and enjoy your comments in general)
Boyzone is always looking for counselors
Pick one yeshiva. I would like a shadchan for chofetz chaim boys, or at least a contact person.
BPTotty- actually a girl can be up to 5’3 and a size 0, if they are in the very low normal range.
Unknown 613: by quality do you include healthy?
mischeif maker- celery sticks
Torahis1- great reply. That is absolutely true. However, it is sad that people check for size and do not care about the long term health of a girl. It is sad for the boy and for the girl, everyone suffers when the mother struggles more than she has to physically because she just didn’t know why a person with a delicate frame has to do some exercise and not just sit back and thank Hashem for making them pretty.
In general we need to teach kids about health, the real reason we care about size is because it is an indicator of health. People who are skinny, do tend to have less heart disease, etc. But if in school we learned about proper nutrition, had to do exercise and were taught about basic prevention, fewer girls would be overweight in the first place, everyone would be healthier and this issue would be minimized.
passion 4- Yes I know, I am one of those but it’s not good either to be that petite, I know someone who works with women and she says it can be a health problem later on if they aren’t careful to get enough exercise, having a bone frame that is delicate like that is not always healthy even though it is a natural weight(although it can be healthy if they are aware of the issues that can come up, which I would rather not go into detail here). Petite women have to work harder to stave off osteoporosis ch”v, among other things, and should be aware of their bone structure. So while there’s nothing wrong with looking for a size 2 I would be interested in a healthy person, not in a person who doesn’t take care of themselves.
dogo- no I am not that lucky, I was there once but was very young.
paschabchochma- as in, “piha pashcha b’chochma, v’Toras chesed al lshona, tzofiya halichos beisa, v’lechem atzlus lo sochel”- from Eishes Chayil.
Volvie- thank you. Interesting that the Jews mainly live in the part that is not halachic Jerusalem.
I would tell her that it’s not healthy to be too skinny.
Refuah SHleima!! Would you share with us a name we could daven for?
May Moshiach soon come and bring a refuah to everyone who needs it!!
1/2 of my friends who are engaged are size 8+, so I’m not sure I believe all this hype.
Procrastinating is different than having lots of spare time. I procrastinate. I do not have a lot of spare time though…
I think Lavan also ran to Yaakov, goody.
I keep on reading the title of this thread as tznius.
my brother likes to be machmir on fun minhagim. So despite our not being CHassidish, last year he stuck a key into our store-brought challah. My father discovered it as soon as he tried to cut it…