HaLeiVi

I think as Nudnikit said, you are probably part of a stereotype. Many times people react to situations in interesting ways because of connections in their mind to many other things. In their view, by giving you a $10 present they are giving in, they are surrendering. Here they believe you are supposed to be able to support yourself and now they should, with their own hands, contradict themselves? You are right that it is not a real argument, you actually agree to them and it is a new circumstance that came up. However, in their mind, it would mean bending, undermining their values, being taken advantage of, and who knows what else.

I once heard that Rav Pam z”l said a Mashal. If you are in bed and hear the sink drip you won’t be able to fall asleep, and will have to get up to close it. But, when you hear the rain drip, perhaps even louder than the sink, you have no problem falling asleep (it might even be considered a pleasant sound). The difference, he said, is that you can do something about the sink but not about the rain.

IT makes you upset to hear them talking about how they have money, and when you see them giving other siblings items of less importance. When you put it out of your mind, that it is not something that will be coming your way and that money has nothing to do with you, that should ease the feelings.

That is brilliant, 42! Is that your own?

I never knew Hishtadlus was meant to be such a deep, or complicated, concept. It was introduced to explain that although ultimately Hashem decides if you will succeed, you can’t sit back and wait for it to happen. I think JustARegularJew meant just that. You don’t know what Hashem has in store for you.

The Pasuk says, ??? ?????? ?????. The Mishna refers to Parnasa in terms of chasing it, ?? ????? ?????. The Gemara says that a person doesn’t know with what he’ll be Matzliach.

Knowing that all is in the hands of Hashem, you learn when to stop. When your opportunity starts to bump with Avodas Hashem, you know you hit the wall.

There is also a concept of getting the feeling when it is time to lie low. When there is a trend of failing investments, ?”?, don’t throw more money at it. Wait for a better opportunity.

And lastly, there is a concept of someone who has a level of Bitachon that he feels that doing more is not in line with Bitachon. This is a delicate aspect, being that it is all to easy to fool yourself. ???? ??? ??’ ????? ??? ???? ????. Yosef Hatzadik was taken to task for enlisting human help, whereas if one of us would turn down such an opportunity we would be called a Shota.

What your Rav probably meant was that there is nothing wrong with trying more, but if you don’t, it won’t be held against you as if you didn’t try. While it is important to do what you can, you also know what you are holding by. Past that point you defer to Hashem. Dovid Hamelech, who was able to fight went out to fight, and asked Hashem to help him win, Chizkiyahu, who wasn’t able, said, I’m going to bed and You save us.

Much Hatzlacha.

“[T]he freedom to live off the product of your own work” is the same. But I guess the manners are the same.

zahavasdad, that’s interesting, because I know of Giyurim that Rav Belsky did.

Does this Rav have Semicha on Hilchos Hishtadlus?

Well, then it gets a bit more complex: y = f(n) where n = -?

and f = f(n+1)

I started with: We hope he will get married, but not by hiding it. What do you find wrong with that?

Health pointed out earlier that the boy’s situation doesn’t mean he can’t get married.

We hope he will get married, but not by hiding it. If you know someone with such a problem please do not keep it a secret (from the appropriate parties). You rightfully feel sorry for him, but tying up an unsuspecting person and shattering her dreams and life, is not a better option. Let’s Daven that he should find his Bashert and have a full Yeshua.

I won’t judge his parents. They are desperate, and are blinded by their worry for their child. However, I don’t know how such people face their children-in-law, their victims.

iced, if you see someone fall to the groud would you refrain from helping them up since you won’t get to the other thousands of people currently on the ground?

To let it go ahead without doing anything is the worst thing possible you can do to a fellow Yid, and in fact family. The issue was raised that perhaps they shouldn’t hear your name and you shouldn’t trust your ears, either.

That is why Jay’s advice is the perfect solution: go back to that Rov, tell him to get involved without mentioning your name, go home, go to sleep.

I also just pulled up at Hess on Ft. Hamilton and found it without a line. I’m just wondering if it’s my imagination or if it’s been so long since I last filled up, but it seemed to take much longer to fill up.

That’s funny: “Talk to a Rabbi who would be willing to tell you to share the info.”

Whatever you do, do not let them hear your name. I think Jay’s approach is great. The Rov who knows enough to tell you can tell them.

In the Zechus of doing the right thing, you should find your Bashert very soon. (Ahem.)

And the M-d said, how did you know that you are Joseph?

That probably took you more than 15 minutes, which was the wait at Hess on Ft. Hamilton.

I noticed the same thing at Rio. I walked over late one night to see if I should bring my car over. There were some vehicles there, some hanging around. I was told, off the bat, no gas. The whole thing looked very fishy, which it is.

We definitely have an odd one.

Wisey, are you not the one who asked for another philosophical question?

These people only know how to limit and fine others. Instead of bringing, or at least allowing, more gas, the only way of ‘helping’ they can come up with is to limit us some more.

If Gaza would look like this, just imagine the outcry from all corners of the earth.

The Gemara says that after Nevua they still used the Bas Kol. The Gemara in Eiruvin says that Rebbe Gamliel saw with Ruach Hakodesh.

I just don’t get how someone earns such titles as Kofer, Gaava etc. for trying to see the Din. Studying Hashem’s ways is Limud. There are Machlokes in these matters as in other matters and Eilu Va’eilu applies here too, to those who learned the appropriate Sugyos well, Lishmo.

When a Mechutzef gets punished by a principle we would say, wow, look how bad it is to act that way. We won’t say, y’never know why the princple did that, maybe the boy did something else. If someone sees it so clearly I wouldn’t call him names.

Can form really exist without matter?

147, actually it was the mother-in-law who did it to her daughter-in-law.

One more thing, a suggestion from HaLeVia. You can learn together the Ramchal’s Derech Hashem. It puts the choosing and the Chosen People concept in the broader context of Hashem’s plan for the world.

torah,

What’s the matter with Paroah’s astrologers knowing about a savior being born?

Many newcomers have a hard time with anything that differentiates us from other people. The society that we live in has a certain understanding, or agreement, that nobody can claim to be more correct than anyone else. (Of course, it usually only applies to ideas that aren’t our own.) It is a topic that has to be addressed wisely. I’m sure you have a contact, with whom to discuss such matters. It will have to be explained, a little at a time.

I’m not sure I can do justice to the topic. However, these are some things to keep in mind and convey, or discuss, over time:

• There is such a concept as actual true and false, not just relative truth.
• Anyone should have the right to believe that they are correct, especially when they aren’t trying to convince others.
• We have to first agree that the Torah is indeed true, and denying it is therefore not true.
• Finding out the truth does not equal mocking others, or stepping on others.
• Hashem gave us the Torah for a reason.
• He gave us the Torah so that we should stand out. Through the Torah we become different.
• Anyone who finds the Torah to be true is welcome to follow it, by joining its followers.
• The system of Mazalos is the system of time. There is a cycle of how things happen. This is the system of nature, that there will always be rich and poor, long and short life, week and strong; sometimes war and at times peace.
• By following Hashem’s rule we are circumventing the regular order, much the same way it says that all lands are under a heavenly minister but Eretz Yisroel is only under Hashem.
• There are certain things that even we cannot overcome with good deeds.
• Eventually, everyone gets rewarded for their behavior.

You also learned the hard way?

Rio on 14th and 36th has. The line goes until 43rd. There is some roudy behavior. Unfortunately, these situations test our Middos. Please make a Kiddush Hashem.