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Excuses, excuses…
Very well. Yes, I sinned when I opened this thread. And I’m sinning again by lying about it now. So I’m twice a sinner. And I’m sure that boasting about your sin is also a sin, making me a thrice-sinner. And I’m sure there’s a special place in hell reserved for people who use “high-falutin” words like “thrice.” Furthermore, I’m also fairly certain that it’s sinner for a person to suggest that you know who’s going to hell or not, since they clearly aren’t God who is the ultimate arbiter of final destinations… let’s see that makes at least six sins.
So, are you going to condemn me to six sins, or accept my original statement?
The Wolf
We are testing to see who will open this thread despite its title.
Yes, but the title wasn’t clear enough to prove that one was looking to sin when opening.
The Wolf
Excuses, excuses…
Wise people also realize that today, not talking to your wife unless its 100% tachlis will be detrimental to your marriage.
To be fair, I suppose you could make the argument that if not talking to your wife outside of “tachlis” is detrimental to your marriage, then the “extra” talking you do is, in fact, “tachlis.
The Wolf
yes. girls have cooties. get away from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Running joke in our family — the American Girl doll store on Fifth Avenue is known as “Cootie Central.”
The Wolf
I thought it was a thread about lashon hara… not necessarily a thread containing LH.
The Wolf
MW,
A suggestion if I may…
Please insert a blank line between the quote and your response. It makes it much easier to read.
Thanks,
The Wolf
Your trust in them is greater than the Shulchan Aruchs and the Gedolim.
I think she probably knows her kids better than the Mechaber and the Gedolim.
The Wolf
Who do we think we are talking like a bunch of Rabbis?
Why? Do you feel that rabbis are the only ones who are qualified to talk about halacha?
The Wolf
Wise people usually follow the advice offered by a Mishna, perhaps?
Perhaps they do… but that doesn’t make it halacha.
The Wolf
Al tarbe sicha im haisha, perhaps?
In all fairness, ISTM that “al tarbeh…” falls more under the category of “advice” rather than halacha. I’m not aware of any siman in S”A that discussed how much one is allowed to converse with one’s wife, what topics are permitted/forbidden or anything else that is usually defined in a halachic matter.
The Wolf
Wise people usually follow the advice offered by a Mishna, perhaps?
Well i write it because im impressed with you even though i NEVER agree with you, You think like a Gemara kup and im impresed.
Well, I thank you for the kind words, but it really changes nothing. I am still not a rav, rabbi or anything else in that department. Please save the honorific for one who has actually earned it.
The Wolf
When I walk down the streets I meet many litvish, or MO people and nobody says gut shabbos to me. How come? I thought you said it was rude?
It’s my opinion. There is no “universal” standard of rudeness.
The Wolf
Mods,
If you’re going to edit my posts, as mark them as such.
Rav Wolfmussings said:
Please do not call me “rav” or “rabbi” or anything of the sort. I am not a rav or a rabbi and I feel that granting the title on one who has not earned it demeans and cheapens it.
The Wolf
You must remember that there is a mitzvah to have children and many people probably had many wives to have many children.
Firstly, the average number of wives still had to be pretty close to one. After all, there are only a finite number of women to go around. Every additional wife a person took probably meant that someone else wasn’t going to get married. (Unless, of course, you’re going to posit that there were many times more women than men.)
In addition, you must remember that if a man had more than one wife, he had to support them and their children. I would be willing to bet that only the wealthy could have more than one wife at a time.
Here’s a hint: how many tana’im or amoraim can you think of in the Mishna/Gemara that are mentioned as having more than one wife at a time? Very few, if any.
The Wolf
No, only the Sanhedrin can put people to death.
I think you meant “only A Sanhedrin…”
(although, to be fair, A Sanhedrin needs to have authority from THE Sanhedrin to conduct capital trials…)
The Wolf
Marriage issues (getting married and/or husband/wife issues)
Well, for starters, it should be obvious that we no longer maintain the schedule for education/marriage as advocated in Avos.
And in that case, the mishna isn’t even dealing with relative terms (“al tarbeh…”) but absolutes (age 5, 10, 15, 18…).
I have to think that these changes are due to societal changes.
The Wolf
wonderful proofs have been unproved many times in the past.
Then they weren’t really proofs now, were they? 🙂
The Wolf
In retrospect.
Hmph. I for one, am not feeling very welcome today.
Welcome to the CR, squeak. 🙂
The (welcoming wagon) Wolf
what we have as the family unit did not exist then. men were not with the same wife every night for they had many and were only able to be with one at a time as we see in the story of yaakov and ruvein.
Lav,
I would be willing to bet that even when allowed, polygyny was the exception, not the rule. Most people probably had no more than one wife at a time.
The Wolf
this that he is saying is probably what it meant at a time and was supposed to mean always. but today things are very different.
Heh. Whenever *I* bring up the suggestion that societal changes must be taken into account when determining halacha, I get blasted by some members of these boards. 🙂
The Wolf
You are putting the other person in a very very uncomfortable position.
If I may say so, I believe you are in the minority on this. I believe that most people like to be greeted, by whomever it is that’s doing the greeting — be it man or woman, Jew or non-Jew, child or adult.
The Wolf
who cares if the grandparents are buried together or not? i cant believe people ask such ridiculous questions!
As I said, the story may be apocryphal.
The Wolf
BTW, I read somewhere that 90% of the most successful CEO’s said their parents potched.
Considering that the vast majority of successful CEOs are over 50, that may be an artifact of the times rather than an indicator of success in life.
IOW, you’re probably looked at a skewed sample.
The Wolf
I guess i forgot this: 😉
Don’t feel bad… that’s one step ahead of me. I never knew it to begin with.
The Wolf
i believe the singular of lemmings is lemming, not lemma.
He wasn’t refering to the animal. He was referring to the mathematical concept.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemma_%28mathematics%29
The Wolf
thats wonderful wolf. i didnt say that a Shul shouldnt be family=friendly, of course it should
Then I must have misinterpreted your response to minyan gal. If so, I apologize.
What did you mean by “or a place of kedusha?”
The Wolf
These kids will grow up knowing that shul isn’t tedious or unfriendly
or a place of Kedusha
I’m confused. Why is having a family-friendly environment not an environment of kedusha?
Very frequently, in the shul I lain in, kids will pull up a chair to the bimah and watch me lain from the opposite side. There is one kid (a Down’s Syndrome sufferer) who makes sure to always watch me lain when he can.
They also participate by removing/replacing the cover from the Sefer Torah at the appropriate times. I believe this to be excellent chinuch.
We also invite children up to lead the davening on Musaf after Chazaras HaShatz. The kids sing Ain Keilokeinu, lead Aleinu, Shir Shel Yom, L’Dovid (when appropriate, of course) and sing the Shiur HaYichud responsively with the tzibbur.
Why is this such a problem that if they do this, they won’t believe a shul is a makom k’dusha?
The Wolf
a rav is important.
Why is it important that a rav be present AT the youth minyan? Assuming there is a rav in the main shul who can be easily consulted in case of a shaila (such as a possible p’sul in the Sefer Torah, for example), why is a responsible adult lay leader inadequate to supervise the youth minyan in your opinion?
The Wolf
awful stupid idea. they usually have way faster davenings, lots of talking and fooling around, and no rav. i suppose if there would be a rav there…a COMPETENT QUALIFIED rav there it could be acceptable.
The one I attended didn’t have too much talking (probably no more than teens would have done in a regular shul anyway). We finished about twenty minutes before the main shul, primarily due to the fact that we didn’t have a sermon to listen to. 🙂
While we did not have a rav at the davening, we did have a competent adult lay leader who presided over the davening, oversaw the division of responsibilities and generally maintained decorum.
The Wolf
Sjs, what religion do you practice? The one I do, uses SA as its code of law.
Missme,
I noticed that you failed to answer SJS’s question. Do you use a switch to discipline your kids? Do you advocate that everyone do so?
The Wolf
Mike,
My daughter is starting high school this coming year, so I don’t have any practical guidance to offer (ask me again in November).
However, if you live in Queens and are looking to send her to a school in the area, I would advise you to speak to your neighbors and friends (especially those with teenage daughters) and get their experiences.
The Wolf
FWIW, I got my start as a ba’al kriah in a youth minyan.
We would generally split up the parsha. Usually if there was an extra long aliya or if there was an extra aliya that no one wanted to take, I would often take it.
It provided the perfect “middle ground” for training when I wasn’t yet able to prepare a parsha in a single week.
The Wolf
in reform temple, they don’t belive in nobody!!)
You’re more correct than you think.
The vast majority of my family is reform. To my knowledge, every last one of them believes in the existence of HKBH.
You (and I) may not like the way the Reform practice Judaism, but there’s no reason to add on to their faults where it’s not warranted.
Are there Reform Jews who are athiests? Certainly. But to suggest that all are (when I’d be willing to bet the majority are not) is just wrong.
The Wolf
FWIW, IMHO, if one is going to err, it should be on the side of giving someone a 2nd date, even if the first didn’t go as planned. That being said, however, there are certainly times when one can tell after the first date that there is zero possibility.
The Wolf
Mosh,
Are you really going to reject/accept a girl on the basis of what camp she went to?
How about just evaluating her as she is now? Or to paraphrase: Ba’asher Hi Shamah.
The Wolf