Yashi and Pember

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Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 128 total)
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  • in reply to: Jews Are Crazy #1015788

    MODS Could you at the very least change this very offensive thread title. HaShem doesn’t like it, the very least bit. I guarantee you.

    Thanks. (a member of this smart nation)

    And another thing, Froggo; apparently I’m not the only one…the Moderator doesn’t seem to think much of your guarantee about what G-d does and doesn’t like, either!

    in reply to: Jews Are Crazy #1015787

    FroggieMan:

    You don’t have to consult me, you just have to open the closest chumash (that’s the bible). And there’s no Man upstairs, He’s a Being beyond any mortal’s comprehension. And I do happen to have a direct connection to Him, I talk DIRECTLY to him at least thrice daily. And He has no problem with my screen name, if anything’s the problem it’s the time I’m wasting <GOTTA GO>

    I actually do have to consult you, because when I look in the Chumash, it doesn’t say anything about me not calling Jews crazy, and when I aks (that’s Urban for “ask”) Him directly, (I talk to Him at least thrice a day too you see; sometimes even frice or more!) He doesn’t respond. So please, put in a good word for me and tell Him I love Him and everything, but I’d like to know how much of the nonsense that goes on in this crazy (yes, completely crazy, insane, over-the-top loony-tune) community has anything to do with what he originally had in mind for his ostensible “Am Segula” and get back to me, will ya? And while you’re at it aks Him something else: if LittleFroggie is okay, How about LittlePiggie? Did you know that in many Chabad households treif animals (stuffed lions, elephants, Alligators on the kids’ PJs, etc) are all verboten? Was that His idea, too?

    PS I hope you realize I’m just yanking your chain a little, brother…try and relax a bit, okay?

    in reply to: Jews Are Crazy #1015786

    Please don’t get me started on Rabbi Miller, because the moderator will never allow my comments to be posted.

    You are 100% correct on that one

    in reply to: Jews Are Crazy #1015781

    If there’s no “Man Upstairs,” why do we call Him “Him?” If “ein Lo d’mus haguf” and there’s no gender involved, why don’t we call G-d “It?”

    in reply to: Jews Are Crazy #1015776

    Frogster: It’s so comforting to know that whenever I’m in doubt about what G-d might or might not be offended by, all I need to do is consult with you, since you apparently have a direct pipeline to The Man Upstairs. So am I correct in assuming that He has no problem with one of His ?? ???? ???? being called a “Little Froggie?”

    in reply to: Jews Are Crazy #1015767

    No. It is open to interpretation and you guys should STOP TAKING EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY!

    in reply to: Jews Are Crazy #1015764

    I wasn’t joking and I’m not apologizing and your reaction is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Thank you.

    in reply to: ? Riddle Me ? #1014497

    A: Red paint.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026177

    I have no comment.

    in reply to: ? Riddle Me ? #1014492

    What’s red and smells like blue paint?

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026175

    Yeah, on second thought, you’re right. What was I thinking??

    in reply to: Jews Owning Pet Insects #1017555

    If I had a giant yellow beetle, I’d name him Lingo, but only if he played the dlums.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026173

    Truth be told until it was brought up in the FJJ I was totally

    unaware that there were Halachic ramifications involved in hospice care. B”H my siblings and I were never put in a situation where we had to consider it as an option. Long story short, I stayed out of it for two reaons. First, because I didnt feel I had anything of particular significance to contribute to the conversation (yeah, I know; that never stopped me before), and second because it was obviously an issue that stirred deep passions in people who had been there and since I have a tendency to be a bit acid-tongued occasionally (in case you hadn’t noticed), I thought that rather than hurt someone’s feelings needlessly, it would be better if I just stayed out of it entirely.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026170

    The actual line was “don’t kiss your grandfather,” but thanks, anyway. 🙂

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026168

    Thank you Mr. Psych, but to give credit where credit is due, “Hey Rebbe, Rebbe” was written by Moshe Brown.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026164

    Dunno.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026162

    Yes, I did.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026160

    Thinking about starting a blog.

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017845

    RE: My parakeet. A better question would have been “what was his name?”

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026158

    And where exactly shall I do that?

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017841

    Are you kidding? Ya’ated is ever worse!

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026156

    FYI: I met Mordy today and he told me that there are some Rabbonim in Flatbush who are pressuring him not to publish ANY of my letters, period. Apparently they don’t think people should be allowed to laugh a little on Shabbos. They don’t want any of what they consider “letzonis” in the FJJ. Frankly I have a good mind to just chuck the whole enterprise. I don’t want to be in middle of a machlokes; it’s simply not worth the aggravation.

    -RZ

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017839

    FYI: I met Mordy today and he told me that there are some Rabbonim in Flatbush who are pressuring him not to publish ANY of my letters, period. Apparently they don’t think people should be allowed to laugh a little on Shabbos. They don’t want any of what they consider “letzonis” in the FJJ. Frankly I have a good mind to just chuck the whole enterprise. I don’t want to be in middle of a machlokes; it’s simply not worth the aggravation.

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017836

    Chas V’shalom, no need to apologize. Obviously you don’t know me either, but I decided long ago that many Jews, certainly not all, have gone completely, totally bonkers. Unfortunately many of them reside here in Flatbush, so it’s sometimes difficult for me to remember that the “new-chumrah-of-the-week” crowd does not represent Judaism-at-large and is certainly not what the Ribono Shel Olam intended or wants. And while I kinda, sorta joke about joining another religion, one where the only requirement is dancing around all day in a saffron robe, leider, leider I’ll betcha a majority of their members are formerly Jewish kids who found our beautiful, uplifting yiddishkeit too restrictive and tragically left the fold.

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017834

    Little Froggie: Who says I was joking?

    PS: Lighten up!

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017831

    I think I’ll convert to Hare Krishna. Or Breslov.

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017825

    I was in Harrico Pharmacy today and there was a discussion going on regarding kosher l’pesach batteries. You can’t make this stuff up.

    in reply to: Poetry #1011451

    Dear Eli Bolevnik,

    While I did indeed criticize Reb Chatzkel (dad?), I did so only because he left himself wide open to criticism by mocking his own loyal readers. As far as imitation being the greatest form of flattery, I’ll have you know that I do not imitate anyone. I’ve been writing verse for the better part of fifty years and I’d match my work line for line against anyone who’s ever held a pen or punched a keyboard. Also, I find it totally inappropriate for you to refer to me as a “glorified jerk.” I did not resort to name calling and it’s frankly quite infantile for you to resort to that level of insult.

    PS By the way, the word in your last verse that you spelled

    y-o-u-r should have been spelled y-o-u-‘r-e. No need to thank me.

    Hatzlacha and Chag Kosher V’someach!

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017823

    I might be Chimlobuni. Then again, I might not.

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017817

    I sent in a letter; they chose not to print it. Hey, can someone please tell me how to start a thread?

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026150

    Can someone please tell me how to start a thread?

    in reply to: Random thread: Rocky Zweig, Purim, and writing #1120151

    Hey, I’m pretty new at this, Can someone tell me how to post? Thanks.

    -Rocky

    in reply to: mordechai shmutter #1008235

    Don’t know about him, but I’m a guy. Last time I checked, anyway.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026137

    Well, seeing as how it was like what, 50 degrees today? I’m reconsidering. 🙂

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017810

    Well excuuuuuuuuse me!

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026134

    Apparently.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026132

    Is “interesting” in that sentence a euphemism?

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026129

    It’s not that I don’t like editorial boards. It’s that I’ve been writing these stupid letters for four years and I still can’t figure out their parameters.

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026127

    Just so you all know: I was NOT responsible for the “?” between the words “happy” and “bachelor.” The editorial board, in its infinite wisdom, chose to add that particular punctuation. When I questioned Mordy about it, he said “The Rabbi” insisted on it. Will someone please explain all this to me before my head explodes?

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017808

    Popa Bar Abba: This week’s letter is (supposed to be) funny. If you’re still in Brooklyn, pick up a copy, or you can always read it at:

    Good Shabbos!

    No external links

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026123

    Oh, that.

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017803

    Best Bubby; Don’t forget “I’ve got a secret.”

    in reply to: Akuperma, Akuperz, Akupers… #1005002

    Do you like cheese?

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026121

    How did I do that?

    in reply to: Rocky Zweig is too funny! #1026119

    Take away that one sentence and there is nothing wrong with his article. That said, let’s not throw around the “kefirah” word so cavalierly.

    in reply to: Yo mama jokes #1004824

    Yo momma so fat, when she sit aroun’ de house, she sit AROUN’ de house!

    in reply to: Worst Joke Contest #1004738

    Maybe if I spread the joke out over a few posts the moderator WHO SHOULD REALLY CUT ME SOME SLACK will be asleep at the wheel and let it pass.

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017794

    You realize, of course, you’re both showing your age.

    in reply to: Worst Joke Contest #1004736

    Yeah, they censored another one about a


    who crosses the road to put


    on the


    .

    in reply to: I am Rocky Zweig. Ask Me Anything #1017791

    ihear: Okay, you’ve got me. I’ll come clean. I am indeed an imposter. Now would you please write something funny?

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 128 total)