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send them my way and within a few short munites it will become apparent that even though people do avairos they don’t leve behind all that is dear to their families and backgorund unless there is a severe trauma. simple question like “if you kept the torah what would it mean about you” will tell you tons!
a fundemantal difference between the rasha [those we sit shiva on] and todays OTD kids. we have yet to find a functional OTD kid. once upon atime people went off the derech thinking they had discovered a better life based on idialogocal changes. today kids get pushed off the derech usually due to some form of trauma. this OTD kids are fully dysfunctional. this clearly demonstrates that they are Kids In Pain [KIPS] suffering from PTSD. having worked with hundreds of cases and 15 years I have not yet found the exception. when we HEAL the OTD KIPS they automatically get back on track [they usually ask for soe help along the way to deal with thier trauma]. these KIPS need to be understood and held. daven for them in refoenu not hashivenu!!
this is hinted to in the Hagadah too. the answer we give the Rosho is actually taken stright from the sheno yodeah lishol. he is AT HOME not kicked out chas vesholom, and is so badly hurt that his brain cannot even focus on ansking a straight question. have pity on him and help him back with kind words. we must sit shiva on the KIPS whose parents have been misguided and have been thrown onto the streets – in the name of religion. Nebach. I could write hundreds of pages on the topic but for now – lets start to focus on hatzolah rather then chinuch! [don’t forget we lost over 100 KIPS last year – thats not ROSHO thats PAIN].
the shiduch world has always been clouded with “nonsense” so that we should remember that our hishtadlus is superfluous [vilna goen / bal hatanya].
Emunah and bitochon is the name of the game!!
may someone pregnant with a mamzer take her life?
the gemoro writes that fires rage where shmiras shabbos is lacking
the indisputable and ultimate solution is an international database for frum boys and girls of all ages. A good well designed database that can be used online or as hard copy could well serve us. the logistics could be easily worded out by some pioneer … whos offering??!!
The Ponevezer Rov once had to meed with the queen and had the same problem. Upon reaching the queen he started speaking with much animation and his hands high in the air while speaking about the royal family etc, by the time he finished the handshake to be was long forgotton!!
1. Not staying single [Igros Moshe] – start looking at the age chazal tell you to, it will be easier
2. Not seeing the things that are ossur to see [ohr hachaim hakadosh Acharei Mos]
3. Not thinking the things that aere ossur [ohr hachaim hakadosh Acharei Mos]
4. Not spending too much time in ones own company
5. Akshonus [maseh Rav]
6. not giving in [Succa 52b]
7. learning Mussar and especially about these topics
8. Understanding that ultimate control needs much tefila and syata dishmaya
It is hard to elaborate more, it very much depends on the temperament of the individual, and on how much he has already steeped into the yetzer horah.
google EFT and smoking and finaly quit!!
Subject: FW: This is a true story
I laughed so much when I read this
This is a true story
On Thursday, 24th January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on
his afternoon program on ABC radio.
In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW, Australia )
received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00.
He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and
threw that one away too.
The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating that
they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn’t send them $0.00 by return mail…
He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and
they would take care of it.
The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out
the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it
would put an end to this ridiculous predicament.
However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.
He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again
and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for
$0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.
Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet
another mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good
as their word and sort the problem out.
The next month he got a bill for $000. This bill also stated that he had 10
days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover
Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the gas company at their own
game and mailed them a cheque for $0.00. The computer duly processed his
account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas
company nothing at all.
A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking
Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing
writing cheque for $0.00.
After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00 cheque
had caused their cheque processing software to fail. The bank could
therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of their
customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the computer to
The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming
that his cheque had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he
sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the
At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against the
gas company. It took him nearly two hours to convince the clerks at the
local courthouse that he was not joking.
They subsequently helped him in the drafting of statements which were
considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had
been forced to endure during this debacle.
The matter was heard in the Magistrate’s Court in Mudgee and the outcome was
The gas company was ordered to:
 Immediately rectify their computerized accounts system or Show Cause,
within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher court for
consideration under Company Law.
 Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by the man.
 Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose
cheques had been bounced on the day our friend’s had been processed.
 Pay the claimant’s court costs; and
 Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period March
to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their
client to suffer.
And all this over $0.00.
This story can also be viewed on the ABC website.
Who employs these idiots??
Remember, these “people” walk amoung us and breathe the same air we do.
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker.So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of God!’ ‘Go! Go! Go! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon, Love, Grandma
see sharei teshuva end of hilchos teshuva on teshuva on retzicha [i’m almost sure its there] thre is also a teshuva in noda biyehuda on the issue. details are not fit for this forum or anyother blog
you wont find any hashkafic legitimacy for the internet. Experience has it that since letzonos echad docheh 100 tochochos, so will the internet destroy any hashkofoh.October 31, 2010 12:37 am at 12:37 am in reply to: Molesters: Why Do Some In Our Community Cover For Them? #711664
see sharey halocho pg 641 responsa from reb elyashiv!!October 29, 2010 12:34 pm at 12:34 pm in reply to: What REALLY happened with those boys that OTD en masse? #704858
its very straight 4ward. when theres more reason to leave than to stay, why stay. lessons:  theres reason to stay. theres nothing to leave to!October 24, 2010 6:07 pm at 6:07 pm in reply to: Time For Truth: Why Won't You Date A Ba'alas Teshuva? #709966
we all know the great levels which a baal teshuva has and how loved he is in hashems eyes, but a child born to parents who do not keep taharas hamishpacha has what is known as a pegam which is a kabalistic concept. the many virtues of a baal teshuva may over-ride this disadvantage, and this pegam may be far less than the pegam many ffb’s may have from other things they do, but the pegam which belongs collectively to baley teshuvah is the parents.
let us not forget that avrohom came from terach and see where he got to!
in times gone by when ffb’s were less street wise than today than a “boy” ffb may have contained his pure level of raishis oni which a baal teshuva will almost certainly have lost. [unfortunately today even the ffb’s aren’t what they used to be
A ben torah is one who when one sees him, the first thing that comes to mind is “he’s under the influence of torah”!
A ben torah is one who when one sees him, the first thing that comes to mind is “he’s under the influence of torah”!
roaming … granddad … destiny
“when I think of those two I really think to myself are we all SO bored that we sit facing our screens thinking of 7 letter words, granddad in heaven would surely want us to think of our destiny !!!!!!!!!!!!October 19, 2010 4:46 pm at 4:46 pm in reply to: Why do some wives (newlyweds) act like Mashgichim to their husbands? #701963
just because they are young and immature. If a woman would have started this thread it would be about some silly thing young newlywed men do – or don’t!!
see sevet halevi vol 5 siman 202
let it suffice that many poskey zmanainu hold that ANYONE who watches movies is called a porutz in hilchos yichud and cannot be a shomer with regarding them.October 5, 2010 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm in reply to: What does this mean, its a quote from the Kotzker. #699345
see shut meshiv dovor vol 1 responsa 44 that in some areas the middle way is the very wrong one. [if you asked sombody a question in emuna and he says “he’ve mesunim bedin” he’s in a bad way]