Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Israel HaRav Kalman Bar published a halachic letter on Monday, in which he explains why, despite the war, getting married during the three weeks is forbidden.
Last week, HaGaon HaRav Yitzchak Yosef called on couples from the Sephardi and even Ashkenazi sectors to get married during the three weeks rather than postpone their weddings. He explained that “there is no greater time of need than this,” and emphasized that even those who are generally machmir should be lenient this year, emphasizing, “המחמיר בזה יוצא שכרו בהפסדו.”
Although as of Tuesday morning, the war is officially over, the dilemma for couples who postponed their weddings due to the war still exists due to the difficulty in finding available chasunah halls after Tisha B’Av.
In a lengthy response to questions by engaged couples who asked whether they can marry during the three weeks, HaRav Bar paskened that there is no heter to get married during these days, despite the circumstances.
The Rav explained the reasons for the minhag not to marry during the three weeks, saying that mourning and joy are contradictory.
In addition, the Rav noted that “it is not a good siman” to marry during these days, and חמירא סכנתא מאיסורא (danger is stricter than prohibition), and therefore we have not found any posek who permitted this, and certainly not with a fancy seudah. HaRav Bar emphasized that the poskim did not allow marriage even on the night of the 17th of Tammuz [before the fast begins], even at a sha’as hadchak (time of need).
HaRav Bar noted that the Sephardim who are noheig to hold chasunos until Rosh Chodesh Av are of course, permitted to wed during those days and ended with “כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה.”
(YWN Israel Desk—Jerusalem)
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5 Responses
I heard from a reliable source that a few Ashkenaz Rabbonim are privately telling their Kehilla that it is ok to make a wedding till Rosh Chodesh due to the war situation.
These Rabbonim are afraid of the bullies the extremists (example:the chevra who broke the front door of the Rebbi from Gerrer Chassidim)these extremists -the sky is the limit.
Due to
פיקוח נפש
the Psak is being passed around quietly.
I am sorry. I forgot to mention.
This Psak that it is ok to get married during the 3 weeks:
One Rav very clearly mentioned that you should not have beer, liquor or any type of schnapps at the Simcha during the 3 weeks.
“HaRav Bar emphasized that the poskim did not allow marriage even on the night of the 17th of Tammuz [before the fast begins], even at a sha’as hadchak (time of need).”
From ou.org:
“Harav Moshe Feinstein zt”l (Igros Moshe 1:168) writes that if necessary an ashkenazi may get married the night before the fast of the seventeenth of Tamuz. The prohibition against getting married would only begin on the morning of the fast.”
It seems to me that Rav Moshe ZT”L is a Posek one can be somech on to get married on the night before 17 Tamuz, notwithstanding Rav Bar’s comment that “poskim did not allow marriage even on the night of the 17th of Tammuz”.
an Israeli Yid
If you read the letter, you will see that Rav Bar quotes the Rivevos Efraim (talmid of Rav Moshe Feinstein ztl) who explains that Rav Moshe only permitted if chupa was held in the daytime of the day before 17th Tammuz.
@MATT – that is not totally accurate. If you look at the write-up on this by R’ Yehuda Spitz on the Ohr Sameach website at https://ohr.edu/5470#_edn6, he brings (in Footnote 6) that “The actual case Rav Moshe was referring to was when Shiva Assur B’Tamuz fell out on a Sunday. Hence, with no other dates available, he permitted the chassuna to commence on Motzai Shabbos, before the onset of the actual fast. However, this does not mean that if one can plan a wedding on the 16th of Tamuz with the Chuppah before shkiya that they should wait around until after nightfall to start the wedding. Obviously, Rav Moshe would only permit that if one was stuck (l’tzorech) and would optimally prefer the wedding to at least commence while still the 16th of Tamuz (meaning before shkiya). See Shu”t Rivevos Efraim (vol. 1, 375), as well as Shu”t Videbata Bam (152 s.v. v’shamati and v’laasos), and Rabbi Yitzchok Frankel’s Kuntress Yad Dodi (pg. 132, Hilchos Bein HaMetzarim, Question 1 a-c; who cite Rav Dovid Feinstein shlit”a’s explaining his father, Rav Moshe’s, shitta). This author has heard that Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky as well ruled akin to Rav Moshe and permitted a wedding on the eve of the 17th of Tamuz when there were no other alternatives except to wait until after Tisha B’Av.”
I’m not claiming it’s a lechatchila – but this year is exactly the same as the specific situation Rav Moshe ZT”L paskened about – and he was Matir. This is clearly not the universal Psak, but Rav Moshe’s Psak is clear – irrespective of what the Rivivos Efraim says. Perhaps what the author of the Rivivos Efraim heard from Rav Moshe was what should be done where possible?
an Israeli Yid