September 24, 2008 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #588342intellegentMember
This might be a strange place to post such a topic, but I am curious to know what people think of this. When a couple is expecting a baby, when is the appropriate time to share the news. I am just curious about the different ways that people do it. I am not asking this as personal advice! I want to hear the different opinions on the matter. Some people feel that it should be said to the parents only after a few months and then the siblings should be told just before the future mom starts to “show”. Some feel that there is no need to say anything at all and as soon as people start to notice on their own that is when they should know. What do you feel is the right way to go about it?September 24, 2008 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm #846955feivelParticipant
our children tell us as soon as they know
no one else is told, including siblings, until 3 months.
at that point the alter bubby is told first then the siblings then whomever else.
the Gemorah states, in many places, that a woman in general starts to be visibly pregnant at 3 months.September 24, 2008 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #846956hiiamhereMember
I think it all depends on the situation.
If it’s the couples first pregnancy, or after a very long break- parents should be told pretty early on – they worry so much & daven… don’t you think they deserve to know?
Otherwise I don’t think it’s neccesary to share till later (but before it shows…)
But, there are all kinds of circumstances… Some woman need to lay at the begining… some are terribly nauscous & weak, while others feel perfectly fine. It would be silly to keep it a secret when you can get the proper help you need if you would only open your muoth…
Friends & siblings are in a different category & it all depends how close & how desperate you feel to share either for emotional or physical needs/help…
There is something to keeping things quiet- things that are hidden from the eye are blessed, & everyone wants the pregnancy to go well!
I do beleive though, that even if it’s not for a long time (a couple of days/weeks) – there should be some time that it’s only the couples secret!September 24, 2008 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #846957yoshiMember
Everyone is different. Some wait till after 12-13 weeks because at that point the chances of miscarriage goes down significantly.
Some will wait till 26-28 weeks when a premature baby has a greater chance of survival out of the womb. Some wait till they are 37 weeks which is full term, and some never tell unless a family or friend asks. Or you have people like me, who tell the second they find out! lol. I took an EARLY test, and we were too excited to keep it in! We only told family and close friends though, and by 6-7 months there was no hiding it!September 24, 2008 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #846958whatshaichesMember
we waited about six weeks before telling anyone telling anyone including parents, after that, it was 3 months and then the rest of the siblings including grandparentsSeptember 25, 2008 2:41 am at 2:41 am #846959oomisParticipant
I waited until my first trimester was safely over to tell first my parents and in-laws, and then the siblings, with my first child. The second time around, I told my parents when I was two months along, and then on Chanukah a couple of days later, told my in-laws, which turned out to be a terrible mistake, because I literally began to miscarry the pregnancy five minutes after we told them the news. Had I waited, I could have spared at least THEM the anguish of our loss. they were much older than my parents, and took it harder. When I became pregnant again, I told NO one until I again had safely passed my first trimester. B”H I never had another problem with my five children, kinehora. I believe grandparents should be told first, followed by siblings, then other family and friends.January 31, 2012 4:41 am at 4:41 am #846960147Participant
Parents must be informed immediately of a pregnancy, and any delay is a Bitul Aseh of the 5th commandment.
Furthermore, everyone should have their parents’ Reshus & blessings, to call any time day or nite 24/6 as soon as the baby is born. Every parent & even grandparent will only be too happy to be awoken during the nite with such wonderful news, and once Reshus is sought, no issue of Gezel Sheino. What an awful thing to await the arrival of daylight to inform a parent, and not call inmmediately.
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