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That smaller evacuation I can more easily imagine in terms of logistics. Please be very careful where you are in the evacuation zone!
As an aside, linguistics as an area of study is endlessly fascinating to me…I know that is not really the subject of this thread (sorry!), but every time there is a language discussion anywhere, I am all ears 🙂
Hello Boro Park Girl,
Wow, that seems incomprehensible to me! Please take care up there.
I am so sorry for your loss and am sending prayers for healing your way.
Please be safe! I am so worried about you and the rest of the NYC contingent of the Coffee Room…where is everyone supposed to go when there is an order for Manhattan to evacuate? All those people — what chaos. Here near Delaware, it is raining but not too heavy yet. Now on the local news they are showing Rehoboth Beach at the Delaware shore…looking pretty wild!
I wish you the best of luck in all you do! I have learned a great deal by reading your commentary and thoughts here. Don’t be a stranger!
My first cousin’s Crohn’s symptoms were improved during each of her three pregnancies. I do not know though if this improvement is common.October 28, 2012 4:21 am at 4:21 am in reply to: when snacking becomes a sleep disturbance (aka, raiding the pantry) #900921
Hello funny bone,
I should have mentioned that I have had bloodwork done, and everything is normal. Thank you though for this recommendation!
I was just wondering about this myself, in reference to Shabbos and preparing for the hurricane. Are there exceptions to not working on Shabbos that apply if one must prepare for an impending, potential weather crisis? I know there is still most of Sunday before things really get started, but I have been hearing this weekend that the generators were already running out by Saturday in Lowes and such places. Being new to Orthodox Judaism, I am not sure what is considered acceptable practice. In all reality regarding the generator, I was already too late anyways — the waiting list is several hundred long now!
I have learned a lot here in this thread and the one that Moderator-42 referenced above. Just coming into Orthodox Judaism, I had thought that the “oy” pronunciations were a New York City thing!!!October 26, 2012 10:54 am at 10:54 am in reply to: when snacking becomes a sleep disturbance (aka, raiding the pantry) #900919
I have no doubt, Mammele!! 🙂
Hello just having fun,
Those are some scrumptious-sounding cheese fries! No bean sprouts needed 🙂
Good luck to you — I hope this situation improves soon 🙂October 25, 2012 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm in reply to: when snacking becomes a sleep disturbance (aka, raiding the pantry) #900914
I have been pretty successful at stopping this, and I do good things too (like swimming a mile a day). Still, sometimes I am overcome by the munchies!October 25, 2012 10:07 pm at 10:07 pm in reply to: when snacking becomes a sleep disturbance (aka, raiding the pantry) #900913
It could be either or, I’m embarrassed to admit. Sometimes, when I have insomnia, I will have a little snack 🙁October 25, 2012 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm in reply to: when snacking becomes a sleep disturbance (aka, raiding the pantry) #900910
Hello funny bone,
I agree, positive reinforcement is so key! It was hard for me to tell from the initial post what form the hitting takes — in the context of meltdowns, etc.
Hello shoe store assistant,
I wish you good luck with that project!! Interesting thesis…
I am too timid with math to touch that other question 🙂
Yes to peace, and to peas 🙂 So much food talk tonight/this morning…I try to sleep, but I want to eat!
ahhhhhh, cheese fries…..yum! 🙂
Hello shoe store assistant,
I have been chuckling as I read your informal survey results…in my mind’s eye, I see you asking various matrons with gaggles of children a series of questions, and as they all respond at once, you are furiously scribbling notes on a small pad of paper that you keep in your pocket. 🙂
This favorite topping is likely very unpopular, perhaps downright odd, but I love…bean sprouts. !!!
I feel as though I have read this story before, but seeing it again, I am in awe of the dedication of these South Koreans. How inspiring that they are seeking to live an observant life in an environment that is not conducive to it! And more generally, the respect of the larger population for Jewish learning and culture is so beautiful it makes me tear up — how I wish the world was generally a place where people respected and had interest in the wonderful aspects of each other’s ways of life. I may sound sappy — sometimes late at night I wax idealistic, dreamy, and philosophical 🙂 Although the original post is a year old or more, I found it very moving as I read old threads in the Coffee Room this midnight hour…
I hope and pray that despite medical odds, I will be able to have a child at all. The question posed presupposes the ability to have children. Sadly, this is not everyone’s reality.
Hello marbehshalom, Abba bar Aristotle, and Englishman,
I have run into this situation within the context of developmental delays in my child clients (I am a child advocate attorney).
I can not say that this is a situation of a developmentally delayed child, because I am not the professional who makes this kind of diagnosis. However, in my practice, I have received training from doctors and other professionals about the warning signs of developmental disorders, because part of my job entails asking the court to order certain evaluations on my children clients. Based upon my ten years of training and practice in this area, I can tell you that violent behavior in young children is one of many possible signs of a developmental disability, including various disorders on the autism spectrum. I have spent a great deal of my professional career arranging for special education services and supports for developmentally disabled children and their families.
Contrary to popular belief that persists, autism is not caused by faulty parenting. Moreover, one of the worst possible things a caregiver of an autistic child could do to address the situation is to use corporal punishment, which will only exacerbate the problem.
As some other posters have noted, it is key to get feedback from any teachers or other professionals already interacting with this child. If behavior of concern has been noticed by teachers, an assessment may well be appropriate. Children identified with certain conditions are eligible under federal law (the IDEIA) for services from preschool age (early intervention services) all the way up to age 21, if necessary.
If a child does have a developmental disability, the earlier the intervention, the greater the chance this child has for achieving to his or her fullest potential and eventually living a self-sufficient life.
When I run into this situation in my child advocacy practice, I advise the caregivers to determine if there are any other red-flag behaviors, consult with teachers and a pediatrician, and proceed accordingly from there.
I hope that these pointers are helpful.
Hello MorahRach, Feif Un, and others thinking of leaving the Coffee Room,
I am so sorry for the things that have been said that have hurt you! Please reconsider leaving — as the mods wrote in Feif Un’s post above, you bring a diversity of ideas, and in my opinion, we need that. I appreciate and value the thoughts you share. I am really saddened by the turn the commentary on this thread took. I do not believe that the negativity on this thread reflects the Orthodox community accurately and I fear for the impression that newcomers may receive reading here.
Words have an incredible power to wound, I understand that. I also know that you must do what is best for your well-being — negativity like this is really toxic.
I just want to say that there would be a real loss if you leave. I have benefitted from your presence. Thank you for that.
Hello Coffee Room,
To me, it does not seem kind or constructive to respond to this poll by attacking each other. Might we focus instead on positive actions and suggestions that potentially remediate the problem?
That is kind of you to say, dhl144 🙂 Thank you for your encouragement!
We were just referencing another thread where I had remarked upon ZeesKite’s consistently funny and kind postings — it really feels like her playful, warm personality lights up our Coffee Room! 🙂
Hello dh1144, I am glad that you found something that spoke to you in what I wrote about the battle against anxiety. I am also very happy to hear that you have found your way to a study program that fits you better — best of luck in this new endeavor! I do believe that G-d shows us, sometimes in subtle ways, that He is looking out for us 🙂
Hello oomis and happy birthday!! Best wishes for your most fulfilling year ever!
I wish that I could buy you some coffee on the side of ZeesKite’s coffee birthday cake 🙂
Your sunny personality spreads it’s warmth even across the Internet 🙂
ZeesKite, you always crack me up and make me smile!
Good luck mra01385, that sounds like a beautiful endeavor! I don’t have the savoir faire to make suggestions on how to accomplish your dream, but I wish you the best in achieving it.
And, although our dear ZeesKite demurs, I believe that she would be well-equipped to pen humorous content 🙂
Excellent analogy oomis! And I like to drink that symphony while listening to a classical symphony, especially as I watch the sun rise. Cheesy, but true 🙂
A LONG time ago, I read that at one time, the continents we know now were connected. My scientific knowledge is severely lacking though — I am sorry that I have no source for this!
I am sorry for your anxiety, and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have a hopefully heartening story to share here, but before I do, I wish you the best of luck deciding what to do and finding the answers you need by searching your heart, asking G-d, and talking with loved ones.
Now for the short story…when I was in law school ten to twelve years ago, my anxiety grew out of control. I was so overwhelmed by the anxiety, like you. I felt like Penn was often competitive in negative ways. I studied like crazy, feeling alone in a school where the lion’s share of students enter very large corporate law firms (I entered law school knowing I would be a child advocate attorney). No matter how hard I strove for academic excellence, I was an A- and B+ student. My best efforts had previously brought me the best possible grades, so I felt as if I was letting myself down. I had always been very private with my academics and felt intensely uncomfortable having fellow students asking me outright how I had done on x, y, or z, hearing ratings discussed ad nauseam around me, etc. The anxiety got to the point where I couldn’t keep my food down and had to go to the emergency room a couple times with what appeared to be seizures (later I came to find out that I was having panic attacks).
The day of my PA bar exam for which I had studied so hard, I woke up with a migraine that had a visual aura so that I didn’t have all my eyesight. I felt crushed — what was I going to do? A lot of money was lost, and more importantly I felt like my hopes and dreams were on the rocks. Even if I kept studying intensely until the next bar exam in six months, would I remember enough to pass? And even if I did, would the same anxiety-induced sickness come over me again at the crucial moment?
As hard as it was, I began a process of trying to take things a day at a time, being “in the moment,” rather than getting carried away by the “what ifs,” as is my propensity. I did the best I could for each day, studying consistently but not as to overwhelm myself when my brain was full. I put down the money for the next bar exam and fought not to think too much about it. When the time came, my mother offered to travel and stay with me for the two days in the hotel, and I will always be thankful for her presence at that time.
And then, that following February…I took the bar exam for the first time, and I passed!
That morning in July of 2002 when I woke up with tunnel vision from that migraine, I did not think that I could possibly do what I accomplished the following February. A day at a time, giving my fears and worries over to G-d, with support from my loved ones, made the difference.
Whatever you decide in your own unique and personal situation, please believe that amazing things truly are possible. I would not wish anxiety or panic attacks on anyone — they are profoundly debilitating, and your health must come first. Even still and despite those times, however, I believe that G-d has wonderful plans for us and will gently help us get there, one day at a time.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers 🙂
Sometimes it all seems like such a hopeless mess! I wish I weren’t familiar with this area of the law through work — I feel sad when I think about it all. I’d be interested in hearing your perspectives from your practice of law.
That would be cool…they do say it’s a small world! It is nice when a lost friend like yours is able to find you again; it’s one of those times when you can really feel the hand of G-d in your life 🙂
Well-put ZeesKite! 🙂
Perish the thought!!!! 🙂
I appreciate your homage to coffee…few worldly things have inspired such gratitude in my heart! I developed the taste for it about 13 years ago during my first year of law school, and at first I put up with the taste to reap the benefits. Fast forward 13 years, and I go out of my way to drink decaf in the evening even when I don’t want all that caffeine — because now I just LOVE the taste!
Should you decide to venture into brewing territory, you might be interested in activating the function that some coffee pots have to start brewing at a certain time of day. That way, you can add the requisite coffee scoops and water at night or some other time when you’re more alert than at the crack of dawn. The resultant quality is worth it!!
“Flummoxed” is such a fabulous word, I agree! It brings such a vivid picture to one’s mind’s eye 🙂
Sadly I do not think we know one another, as I live a stone’s throw from the state of Delaware.
Thank you for taking the time to explain some of these complications to me — I wish I were versed Halacha to better understand the nuances and their applications to the pressing questions of our day.
I had a thought to bounce off you that has more to do with how the situations might play out than with the letter of the law…tell me what you think: suppose the secular law of the land were to change so that elective abortion for non-life and -health reasons became illegal. In this scenario, a pregnant woman whose health is jeopardized by the pregnancy comes to her rabbi and gets permission (is this called a “heter”?) to get an abortion. Is it likely that the rabbi might be able to direct this woman to a doctor whose views on life and health exceptions are in line with the rabbi’s views?
I am inclined to think that, within reason, it is within the doctor’s discretion to determine what conditions/scenarios jeopardize a mother’s health and life under the law as it currently stands. It seems to me that doctors are making these determinations at present, when pregnant women are past the viability cut-off for abortion that varies state by state — at that point, doctors can only perform abortions if the mothers’ lives or health are in jeopardy. (As sad a commentary as it is, I have some familiarity with the legalities of these situations because in the child welfare law that I practice, we have to be familiar with the law and protocols in this area as they apply to pregnant teenage girls.)
If the doctors are already operating within the bounds of this discretion, would there be difficulty in practice finding such a doctor whose views are aligned with a rabbi’s? Perhaps a frum doctor?
I have been reading your posts here — thank you for stimulating my thoughts on many topics! I have been mulling over what you wrote above on the discrete issue of abortion. I suspect that doctors treating pregnant women who are seeking rabbinically-sanctioned abortions for life or health reasons are not going to stop the abortions from happening. I can tell though that you seem to think otherwise, and I was wondering if you could explain to me why? Maybe there is some aspect of this situation that I have not considered yet. I had thought that Romney has been supporting exceptions for maternal life and health. I am inclined to think that doctors would interpret “health” fairly broadly — e.g., taking the mother’s emotional health into consideration in a situation where a baby would be born with Tay Sachs, for instance, covering the situations where some rabbis allow abortions due to that condition in the baby.
I have been having almost the exact same conversations (with your points above) with my mother all day! She is a wise woman 🙂
I find the facial gestures to be very unseemly, unprofessional and unbecoming.
I also cannot understand why the moderators have been passive when it comes to moderating behavior, interruptions, etc. If a free-for-all was what was supposed to happen, then why have a moderator at all?
Regarding appearances by the president (or any candidates) on late-night television and day-time talk shows, I find this behavior unseemly and inappropriate as well. I feel that our office holders and those running for office should be appearing in forums that reflect the ostensible dignity of the offices in question. I am not enthused by the prospect of our president or candidates doubling as entertainers, even if for a short time. I think that a president is not elected to be appearing in such venues.
In a similar vein, I am flummoxed when elected office holders, such as our legislators, do not appear at the jobs for which they were elected because they are busy campaigning for their next political positions. I think that each time a legislator is not present for a vote on the floor of the House or Senate (or votes something noncommittal such as “present”), this information should be broadcast far and wide by news channels and media, so that at least the flagrant disregard of public duty and legislative nonfeasance is theoretically made known to potential voters.
Sorry to get fired up there in the last paragraph. The flippant disregard of public and governmental duty galls me to no end! I did not mean to rant. 🙁
I understand what you are saying. I am mystified as to why the moderators do not nip the interruptions and rude behavior during these debates in the bud. That behavior really alienates me.
Thank you golfer for your kind words 🙂 I try to find that elusive balance between not completely closing out hope and yet not getting my hopes too high.
Woah! I had noticed the funny date but had not thought of the time part too — I missed the am and pm both, but still think that’s pretty cool 🙂
Slightly off-topic (sorry!), but just finished watching the VP debate…haven’t laughed so hard for a while as a result of hearing Biden say “loose talk” so many times about everything!! He was the commencement speaker for my 2002 law school graduation — I don’t recall him using that expression back then, at least not as often