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if you take a stone and put it into a fire it gets very hot.then you can put the stone on the street corner and people who are can can come and warm their hands. – Gil Locks
if you take a stone and put it into a fire it gets very hot.then you can put the stone on the street corner and people who are can can come and warm their hands. – Gil Locks
thanx shticky guy ive had vacation and been busy watching siblings while mom is out of town so not much time to post
Rebecca stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a teacher.”
“Oh, what a great profession, thank you, Rebecca,” said the teacher. “What about your father, David?”
David proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy plays piano for Skinheads.”
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject. Later that day the teacher went to David’s house and rang the bell. David’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
David’s father said, “If you were an IRS auditor like me would you tell your son the truth?”
mine is because my full name as stated in another thread and used for formal occasions is baron fritz von stueben. the baron von stueben i heard or read somewhere but i cant recall where and jst liked the name and fritz is the name of my family’s dog and it kinda fits as i am the dog’s only friend in the family
where in miami and what school did u go to
oh sorry smartcookie typing too fast and not paying enough attention so thanx and mbachur when were u in miami and where did u go
thanks mbachur ive been busy with school stuff and the m in ur name what does it stand for? miami?
An airplane was about to crash, there were 5 famous passengers on board but only 4 parachutes left. The first passenger said, I’m Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me. I can’t afford to die… So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The Rabbi turned to him and said “Thank you but it’s really OK…. there are enough parachutes for both of us. America’s most intelligent President has just taken my Tallis bag.”
doodle jump froggy jump
the song is awesoooommmmeee and the video is funny too
NICE ICOT and i got the riddle off a website and forgot to take that out but it could mean heals dehydration
I have 3 lives. I am hard enough to split a rock, yet I am light enough to float above the treetops. I can also be used for healing. What am I?
a=3 b=1 c=2
cool im number 500
thanks blinky
um i didnt finish the joke and srry been so long taking driving test and passed
the rest of joke is: dont worry the deaf man isnt showing up this year
does everyone have a seat for yom kippur
the melon has landed
bluberry muffin
#1 is 2-3 he will pull out one black and the next will be black or if its white the 3rd will match
#2 switch horses
you shouldn’t boss her
ouch i know how you feel i once had a big one and could barely close my mouth without biting it and my brother made for dinner shnitzel and rice and accidentally made it really salty and i ate it and within 2 days the canker sore was gone i later found out putting salt directly on it helps so put salt on it
after clicking here i saw # 1 (like mod 80) and the answer is that they are in alphabetical order
oh thanks shticky lol and no i dont follow the news i am in school 10 hours a day
i dont get that one shticky
put on some pants
“can you calculate the odds”
yes 1+2=a+2=b+2=c+2=d etc.
bogus shnitzel
lol i like the kidnapper one
and this one:Sam was out shopping at the mall when he meets his friend Abe outside the jewelers. Sam notices that Abe has a small gift-wrapped box in his hand.
“So what have you just purchased Abe?” Sam asks.
“So what did you get her?” Sam asks.
Abe replies, smiling, “I bought her a pack of cards.”
here’s a funny one:Moishe Goldstein – the big boss at his company – was complaining in the staff meeting that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read:
“I’m the Boss!”
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
“Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”
by us holding the 1st sefer torah for kol nidrei went for 600 times chai
heres a riddle
a father and son are drivig and a drunk swerves from the other lane and crashes into them. the father dies instantly and the son is taken to the hospital. while he is on the operating table the head surgeon walks in looks at him and says i cannot operate on this boy he is my son and walks out. WHO IS THE HEAD SURGEON?
hey if birthdays are a mazel tov then today my b-day mods could i say how old i am
oh alright ill try just for you 🙂
here’s alist of novels the marked ones / ive read and most were pretty good
a promise fulfilled
all the hidden children
choices/
deep blue/
dual destiny
harp strings
hidden in the deep
interupted journey/
lone star/
music of the soul
mystery in spain
on a golden chain
plan b/
the lost treasure of chelton
the selby printout/
whispers/
yesterdays child
blackout/
double identity/
dual allegiance/
entanglement/
the network/
the betrayal
baby shalhevet sung by avraham fried is a heart wrencher
CHOCOLATE ALL DA WAY
good answer, thats right. and the plum i dont get how; i heard corn and it makes sense.
where is this from
HERES A JEWISH ONE THERE ARE 2 KINDS THAT R REALLY 4
ooooohh nice one dr. thats the exact answer
oh sorry smartcookie heres one
Aryeh and Devora, a young religious couple, were expecting their first baby. Devora went into labor on shabbos so they had no choice but to call for a taxi to take them to the hospital. Because Aryeh wanted to minimize the shabbos violation, he told the controller that he cannot have a Jewish driver.
The taxi quickly arrived, but when Aryeh and Devora were getting in, they overheard the controller on the two way radio ask the driver, “Have you picked up the anti-Semites yet?”
OH MAN I AM ON A ROLL
what do you call 6 white guys on a bench
the NBA
you peel the outside cook the inside then you eat the outside throw away the inside what am i
hint it’s a food
and you ve just exited the blonde zone beat it
Top 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes
Yes, the top 10 blonde jokes of all time!
10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!
9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
8 A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
“Where did you get that?”
The pig replied,
“I won her in a raffle!”
7 A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
“For best results, put on two coats”.
6 Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
“I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!
5 Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
“I think they could be bird tracks.”
The second blonde went to look and said,
“No, I think these are deer tracks.”
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
4 A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
“You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”
3 A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
“You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”
2 A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
“I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”
But the blonde insisted saying,
“No. A bet’s a bet.”
Then the redhead said
“Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
The blonde replied
“Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”
1 A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
“Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
“If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, “157.”
The farmer was amazed – she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
“If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”