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Patur – if you belive that the parents do it because they belive you are so much more removed from reality than I can imagine. Do you really think parents are supporting because of the schar or because if they dont support their precious child may not find the perfect shiduch. Is it possible that every parent thinks that each of their children is supposed to sit and learn. I find that unlikely. Why did my parents/inlaws/uncles/grandparents not sit and learn. Did this genration suddently become learners of epic proportions that every person has to sit and learn for 10 years?
of course – my point exactly – some people would listen and others wont depending on how they felt about the psak of reb moshe….
I am curious what Reb Moshe did hold about supporting kids in yeshiva until the kids turn 65. Can someone let me know
of course
Thanks – one of me is more then enough as per the people who know me 🙂
Patur
The chiyuv is still there but at whos expense? There is nothign wrong with the daf or getting a chavrusah at morning or at night. How many kollel guys hit 35 years old and have 6 kids at home and are looking for a job with a BTL from BMG and can only get starting jobs that pay 40-50k per year. Salaries like that will not support families let alone pay for bar mitzvah, weddings etc…
This system cannot support itself much longer. What happens when the kollel guys kids get married, who will support – will they Chas Vshalom have to go work because the parents cant cupport them.
Of course
I have no doubt there are many communities across the US and beyond that have all this. I would be wrong to comment though as I do not know for a fact. I know about Lakewood and live in Flatbush so I can comment freely.
In terms of going back – It will not happen The problem is bigger then all of us. In communities like Skver, Monroe and other communities where there is one person (rosh yeshiva, rebbe) the people listen (for the most part)to whoever is in charge. Lakewook and Brooklyn and are too big for that. I am not a Chaim Berliner and may not listen if the rosh yeshiva announced a rule of sorts that I was not interested in.
Im with Walton – usually the people pointing out have tons of gooddies hiding and lurking behind them and need to show the world how good they are. We are not all tzadikim like the wolf. I dont belive I am in a position to give mussar to anyone
HIE
Lakewood is very fake – tons of lakewood people originate in Brooklyn. The fakeness does not start on Route 9 or GSP or when they start learning at BMG. Its the way we (myself inlcuded) have been brought up. Running to keep up with Joness and myriads of other people. The fakeness CONTINUES in lakewood. it ruins us as Jews and as people. We are chasing after nothing while overlooking what is really important in life. This leads to middle aged people being pushed over the edge financially, mentally and any other way possible to chase after whatever?? Yes I wish I can live anywhere but Brooklyn, Lakewood and other fake communitities that pomote all this garbage.
It is destroying us as a nation in many ways
Its like the a subject line of an email. You want to create curiosity and then the details are in the postings..
I think most regular people with heads on their shoulders would split the support. I personally went to work when I was single (gaspppp!!!!! yes I am married with kids and got married at 24 and am shomer shabbos and wear a black hat)and am appaled at the things that kids get these days when they get married. I have 2 married siblings in lakewoods and for the life of me cant understand how they can put the parents and in laws thru this world of supporting them. Does anyone have any self pride left in them. Parents and in laws have to take on second jobs to support their kids. If you can afford to fine – somehow I doubt their is a mtzvah to wear parents to the bone so some guy can sit and learn. You cant all be the next roshei yeshivos of the generation. The exception should be if someone is a real serious learner he should learn. I learn daily and am proud that I am working and supporting a family and think my kids should do the same
The dating system and real life do not equal each other. The dream spouse does not exist because life is not a dream and you dont choose the battles that are thrown your way. Dating does not test what to do when a spouse is ill, has trouble having kids, financial issues, and the myriads of other REAL life problems that people have. The dream spouse should be someone that shares your ideals and values
live in brooklyn now – wish I can live anywhere but here. Its so fake………..
FLATBUSH Rules!!!!!!!!!!!!! the further out the better
TEHRAPIST IS A MUST
MW
I do agree that people that re doing things wrong should be noitfied. It is all too common that people hold from various rabonim and various personal issues that can have an impact on what they are doing. I am not saying that eating treif should be muttar but the person rushing in to criticize and point out flaws on other people should first be sure that they are in a position to give mussar. Once you are assured that you are in the position to give mussar then you will have to weigh the fact that perhaps the person who is “not following halacha” is either following the psak of another rov that is matir whatever he/she is doing or perhaps it is assur but he/she were goven a heter for various reasons.
That said, I disagree with you on telling people what you belive they are doing wrong. I persoanlly get upset when someone points out something that I am doing that is not correct. It does not draw anyone closer to frumkeit.
Snopes is a website that checks for accuracy of the forwarded emails that say “u will win $1mm for forwarding an email to 10 people in the next 10 seconds and stories like that
Btw – I do say tehillim for names and double check what everyone tells me and if enough people give $1 I can retire to my property in florida sooner
Goq hit the nail on the head – Men suffer just like women suffer. I was quite surprised that there are no support groups for men like the women have. I think men give off a tougher image but on the inside we have feelings just like anybody else. After a late miscarriage I remember crying for months about it. it is 4 years later and I can still cry about. BH I have 3 of my own now but I have been down that road for a number of years and I call the men “silent victims”
cant say for sure – I would imagine if you sing a song or two and dance a little it should work 🙂
If you are indeed looking for a Yeshiva I dont think you will find the answer on here anyway
adorable – I actually drink wine in the quiet house and relax with it (whihc also helps). And I dont sneak it – I dont have anything to hide from anyone
Most pills will probably make you drousy the next day – you will go from unable to sleep to a perputual state of sleepiness.
I drink wine when I cant fall asleep. It usually works – if not I have another cup Lchaim!!!!
Say nothing – let them feel normal. I had a period of a few years between children and the best times were when there was noone trying to guess what was going on or trying to only say certain things.
Do try to be sensitive with babies and discussing baby things and how cute the kids look. There is alot of pain that you cannot take away regardless of how well meaning you are.
Ultimatly each person is different so what worked for me may not work for them.
there was a time I was unable to go to a bris or be in a room with other newborns
Who decides what one can have and not have. Does one have to live the “simple life” if they work hard all day and do well financially. Perhaps I should work just enough to cover my expenses and thats it. I think the answer is that most people give back (I know I do) to the community in many ways. Some with time, money and other resources. Why cant I enjoy Pesach in a hotel if I work hard all year and help various Tzedaka and give of my time to multiple organziations.
There is not enough to go around and the ones that do well are always looked at to give more time and more money. Some do plenty already and want to have some for themselves to enjoy.
I will remember that it is Yom Tov when I have to pull out the Matzah instead of running to the bagel store.
Adorable – as a boss – I am losing 4 workdays for all my employees as I close the office (paid holiday) and some are still taking off Chol Hamoed. It is not fair to me to have them fall that far behind. Chol Hamoed is not extra
I only wear Brooks Brothers – great shirt and classy looking
Cherry
Who says is did anything? Perhaps the future Gadol B’yisroel can only become the Gadol by accidently eating the chametz and being traumatized for life over it and committing strongly to halacha?
Who are we to decide?? things happen in life. Move on and learn from it – dont beat youself up over it.
Be happy you are “stuck” in office. There are plenty of unemployed people who wish they can be stuck in office. BH I am employed but can only imagine the hardships for people who are unemployed.
get a lawyer and start the eviction process. It can take months for an eviction to happen. The judge can demand that you get paid the back rent.
Are you eating it?