bygirl31

-I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you

-I have kleptomania, but when it gets really bad I take something for it

-sometimes too much to drink isn’t enough

-suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

-my short-term memory isn’t as sharp as it used to be. also, my short-term memory isn’t as sharp as it used to be

-a bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

-I may be schizophrenic but at least I have each other

-money isn’t everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch

-whoever said money can’t buy happiness just doesn’t know where to shop

-reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol

-courdory pillows are making headlines!

-I want to die while asleep like my grandfather. not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car

lets make some shidduchim right here in the cr!

is is just me or did any of you learn that its assur to shop on chol hamoed?

I may be drunk and you may be ugly, but in the morning I’ll wake up sober 🙂

“true friends stab you in the front” -Oscar Wilde

haha i like that sunflower!!

wat type of simcha? but cash is always accepted 🙂

good idea!

but when you see an ambulance it could be a mazel tov or a refuah shleima…us outsiders dont know. so u say the kapital- it can be a bakasha or it can be thanking Hashem…a kapital tehillim never hurt!

translation for yoyo’s post- this should be peoples kabbalah to begin the new year!!! its extremely important and can have amazing affects

some vowels were left out 🙂

Thank you, I figured it out, but it took a minute or so.

my rav once said by a drasha…everyone talks n talks bout how many tzaros there are yet everyone feels like theres nothing we can do. say a kapitel tehillim when u see hatazalah! u nvr know wat ur kapital could do! n all the tehillim said should be a zchus for refuah for klal yisroel 🙂

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’………….

k so I found a cute game that we’re going to play but now I need some help…does anyone have random jewish trivia questions AND answers? preferably about chanukah but anything will do. thanks 🙂

does anyone have an idea of a game for a party for an extended family? its a big mix of people so we need something not too personal but still made specifically for chanukah. HELP!