Ex-CTLawyer

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  • in reply to: Halachically okay to be liberal? #1697724
    Ex-CTLawyer
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    @Joseph
    I don’t support abortion for economic reasons, period. The courts have determined that it is legal. As a licensed attorney I am a Commissioner of the Superior Court in CT. Therefore, I may not like a law or ruling, but recognize it as settled law.
    I am not saying this to obfuscate or avoid a direct answer, but am bound by my office and license. This is not the same in all states.

    in reply to: Halachically okay to be liberal? #1697558
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK
    “A suburb is a residential district located on the outskirts of a city. If you live in the suburbs, you probably travel to the city for work” from dictionary.com
    Our town is near a major CT city but has about as much residential as non-residential acreage. Fewer than 20% of the population work in that city, in fact more residents of the city commute to our town to work than vice versa. Of those residents who do not work in our town (my office is here) 5% commute to NYC and the rest are likely to work in other small towns within 25 miles.
    This is different than the bedroom communities that grew up on the train lines to NYC or new (post WWII) suburbs such as Levittown in NY. They were planned for commuters and to be suburbs.
    We are not inferior (Sub) the city, nor economically dependent upon them. They receive far more in tax dollars than they send to Hartford and we receive less, subsidizing their existence.

    in reply to: Halachically okay to be liberal? #1697078
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @1
    More Falsehoods from the peanut gallery
    My town has more than 30,000 residents and less than 100,000
    It is not stuck in the 1990s, but is modern without destroying traditions. The main part of my home was built in 1803 and there are many older homes than that in town, along with new McMansions in recently developed neighborhoods.
    We are near a large city, but don’t consider ourselves a suburb. Many residents make their livelihood here and many large corporations are in our industrial and office parks. What we do have is a nice racial and ethnic mix that gets along and respects all traditions and practices.

    Your baiting and insults show how shallow you are. You could not reply to my comments so you instead post an insult.

    As I have stated before, I’ll not address anything you say more than once in any one thread

    in reply to: Halachically okay to be liberal? #1696978
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @FakeYeshivaBochur
    “liberals are EXTREMELY pro-abortion,”

    Keep posting lies.
    I am politically Liberal, but fiscally conservative. Have been active in Democratic Party Politics at local and state levels for decades, delegate to national conventions. elected official, etc.

    I don’t know a single liberal who is pro-abortion. I know many liberals who are pro-choice. They believe it is the individual woman’s right to choose, not society’s right to demand that she carry a pregnancy to term.

    Personally, I do not believe in abortions of convenience. If it is medically necessary to save the life of the mother, I believe it should be an avenue for consideration.

    I serve on my local Democratic Town Committee. There are more than 50 members. At least half are Catholic and oppose abortion, period. They still consider themselves liberal. Abortion is not the litmus test that determines if one is liberal.
    I am pro-civil rights, education, universal healthcare, etc. BUT I am not Pro-Abortion, certainly not extremely so.

    More than 60 years ago when my late MIL was in the local Catholic hospital (closest to her home) to give birth to Mrs. CTL things were not going well. The administrator said to my late FIL, we have to save the baby and not your wife because the baby is free from sin. My FIL informed the admin that we Jews did not believe that way and they were to save both mother and child. They did.
    Today, I am on the board of that hospital. No elective abortions are performed there, only those critically medically necessary to spare major medical damage or death to/of the mother.
    This standard is considered liberal by Catholic authorities, but when a hospital serves a diverse population it must serve them, not dictate that their religious policy trumps sound medical advice.

    in reply to: Question for Jewish Democrats #1693703
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK

    The read politician had to be alive when ballots were authorized by the secretary of the individual state. Not all states have mechanisms in place to remove a certified candidate after the cutoff date and before the election even if they die.
    The number is far greater than five. In my little town I remember two such cases over the years with candidates for Town Council and Board of Finance.

    in reply to: Question for Jewish Democrats #1693391
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    To all who are attacking me:
    I made no comment about Omar or anti-semitism. I pointed out that ‘1’ posted false information.

    The only Marx I might have voted for is Groucho. I am a capitalist, not a Communist.

    I have stated before I will not get into back and forth with ‘1’ his baiting is reprehensible and not worthy of my time. I point out untruths he posts and move on. Have fun slinging mud

    in reply to: Question for Jewish Democrats #1692425
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @1
    “King isn’t on any committees.”

    Always so sure, always so wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    King was only removed from 2 committees, he is still on the small business committee. Far more Jews are in small business than Agriculture (he was removed from that committee).

    in reply to: Major Announcement at 2:15 AM, Sunday March 10 #1692157
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sorry Joseph….
    It was only available outside the USA where there was such a time period or in those places such as Arizona, Hawaii and the overseas territories who don’t observe Daylight Savings time.

    in reply to: Your cheap car stories #1689761
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I grew up in New Haven.
    Every May the Yale students leaving town to go home would sell their cars at low prices to get rid of them quickly. In September when the Yale students returned I was able to sell it for $350.

    Since the 1970s I have bought many low mileage luxury cars in Florida at low prices (averaging $5000 less than they sell for up north). Unfortunately, when the elderly grandparent dies in the condo in Florida, the family doesn’t want to deal with disposing of things, just fly south, grab the bank accounts, jewelry then list the condo for sale and ask the agent to sell off the car as well.
    One time I was was buying such a condo (to add to rental portfolio) and it was $35,000 if I also took the 6 year old Cadillac with 18,000 miles, or $40,000 without the car. I took the car. After closing, I drove the car to a major used car dealer and got $8,000 for it. He probably sold it for $15,000.

    I often bought off lease cars for my children. These cars sold by the manufacturer’s leasing division come with all the service records and have been well maintained.

    As they say, cheap is dear, BUT Cheap refers to quality, inexpensive refers to price.

    in reply to: Most popular songs played at simchos #1688996
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @RebYidd23
    “The more popular the song, the more the owner can demand in royalties”
    Sorry, the owner cannot demand more in royalties, the owner is due an increased total. The owner doesn’t demand anything, Agencies such as ASCAP and BMI bill and collect performance royalties.

    BUT>>>>he can negotiate licensing fees for use in commercials and movies…a popular song will likely bring a higher license fee than a lesser known song, unless the artist’s name has more value than the song.

    in reply to: Most popular songs played at simchos #1688997
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Lucy
    I cannot offer specific legal advice in the CR to non-clients. I am not licensed in all 50 states and laws vary by jurisdiction. I am happy to explain things where I can if it fits into my knowledge and experience.

    My practice has been generally family law, wills, estates, tax matters, real estate and business contracts related to the trusts I manage.
    Constitutional Law and Civil Rights is a hobby of mine and I have virtually no criminal law experience.

    As you will often see in the CR: Consult your local orthodox rabbi, I can give some general guidance, but you need someone locally licensed to handle most legal affairs

    in reply to: Most popular songs played at simchos #1688919
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @DY
    I can only be brief, as why give away something I get paid for: legal advice that aids a person or business to make money within the constraints of the law.

    #1 If a client wanted a particular song, our department first researched to see who was the composer/lyricist/publisher and owned rights to the song or if the copyright was expired.
    If the copyright was expired, the song was in public domain (example Star Spangled Banner) and a legal opinion/clearance certificate was issued so the music could be used.
    #2 If there was a copyright in place we might negotiate the purchase of the song. Not only would no royalties be due, but we could collect royalties from others
    #3 We employed composers to write original music for Music on Hold in assorted Genres. Their employment contracts stated that the work product belonged to our company, not them as individuals. This is similar to research scientists whose new patents belong to their employers.

    Anything we owned was registered with BMI and Ascap.

    Playing a CD you own and paid for or free radio over a Music on Hold system attached to your phone or loudspeakers throughout your place of business is considered broadcasting under the law and royalties are due.
    For example, I could have a radio plugged in and playing at the service desk in my retail store, but if I connected it to the speakers throughout the store used for announcements, it would be broadcasting and subject to royalties.

    This is an involved subject, but I have dealt with ‘rebroadcasting’ issues since I was a teen working part time in my father’s stores.

    in reply to: Most popular songs played at simchos #1688844
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @RebYidd23
    actually it does contradict your premise.
    If a song is very popular the artist receives more (total) performance royalties, but he does not get to raise the rate per performance.

    in reply to: Most popular songs played at simchos #1688845
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Haimy
    You are not correct.
    There are copyrights on both music and lyrics and the owner is entitled to performance royalties if they are played in a for profit enterprise (simcha band that gets paid).

    If you don’t want to pay royalties, play your own original music or something in the public domain (so old the copyright has expired).

    Please DON”T give legal advice if you are NOT a lawyer admitted to the bar and licensed,
    It doesn’t matter if it is played on a keyboard or clarinet or sung………………

    in reply to: Most popular songs played at simchos #1688846
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Lucy
    CTLawyer doesn’t know everything, but he has a lifetime of experience in law and business.

    In this case, he was a part owner of his brother’s telephone equipment business in the 1990s and early 2000s. They manufactured and sold ‘Royalty Free’ CDs for use as music on hold in telephone systems. This opportunity arose when a business law client came to me with a letter from BMI. BMI paid employees to call businesses all day long and when put on hold documented the music being played. If it was copyrighted music a cease and desist letter and invoice for royalties was sent.

    My client had to pay a settled one year’s royalties to BMI and ASCAP of about $1000 and my brother and I launched the new product for his business.

    I set up the process for legal clearance of music to be put ion the CDs that were sold for music on hold use and one of my children who was in law school at the time used this as part time work.

    in reply to: Most popular songs played at simchos #1688715
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @RebYidd23
    Performance Royalties do NOT work that way (popularity) and are not set by the artist.
    Organizations such as ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers) founded more than 100 years ago by Irving Berlin and Victor Herbert, set rates by a formula, monitor public performances and collect royalties due for use of the material.
    Live performance royalties can be as little as 8/10 of 1 cent per performance.
    BMI—does the same for broadcast performances.

    in reply to: Realistic ways to lower tuition #1688400
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Zahavasdad
    I do not agree with your premise that if ” a yeshiva was properly run, then students who cannot pay would be kicked out”
    A yeshiva with proper business management and a business plan would allocate resources for a projected amount of tuition assistance.
    An endowment campaign for both capital items and tuition assistance would be in places. The endowment would be properly invested and the principal not raided. Only the interest would be used for these items.

    Too many in the frum world fail to realize that yeshivos are businesses, albeit in the non-profit business of Chinuch. Non-profit does not mean bankrupt or deadbeat. All over America are thousands of non-profit institutions: houses of worship, schools, hospitals, universities with billions of dollars of endowments. They give free tuition, memberships and medical care as needed, but have business plans an management to assure their survival.

    For many years I was on the board of a day and high school. It was run by the family of the founding Rabbi/principal. 8 family members had full time jobs and paychecks. The Rabbi died and his son was thrust into the job of Principal/Director. He had no ability besides being a classroom rebbi. His late father had been a master fundraiser, who played on the heartstrings of non-frum Jews in the area to rebuild what the Shoah destroyed (he was a master of guilt). The son could not raise funds or get the bills paid.

    The board approached the parent organization in Brooklyn (a Chassidus) out the poor way the school was run (budget woes, declining enrollment, etc.). And was told that since the family was put in place by the previous Rebbe, the son could not be removed.

    The school floundered, many MO families who had sent their children there moved them to a competing day school or a Schecter school or moved out of the community. Even the local Orthodox pulpit rabbis pulled their children out.
    Today this school no longer has a boys high school and the K-8 and Girls High School are composed of family members and non-frum children.
    During the father’s tenure no child was ever kept out due to inability to pay. Now the endowment has been depleted, the school has a bad name in the general Jewish community and its days are numbered.

    Had the son been made Menahel upon his father’s death and a professional business manager been put in place this could have been avoided.

    in reply to: Realistic ways to lower tuition #1688273
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Zahavasdad
    OOT Most Orthodox synagogues built after 1950 had school classrooms and many day schools and Yeshivos started in these now empty spaces, paying for utilities but little or no rent.
    When I was president of such a shul decades ago, we gladly gladly gave free use of 12 classrooms for a startup Boys High School and Mesifta because it guaranteed we’d have a minyan every weekday.

    The Waterbury Yeshiva took over a huge Conservative synagogue building with school wing when the dying congregation merged with a small synagogue in the suburbs.
    The Stamford Yeshiva is in the old JCC
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    I use to teach a class as an adjunct in a law school that operated in one office building in a corporate park. The school occupied two floors and the rent from the third covered the mortgage and insurance. They were able to charge tuition 1/2 the price of university associated law schools that maintained a full campus and amenities.

    Yeshivos need professional business management. The Rosh Yeshiva and volunteer boards are generally not equipped to produce a business plan and run the institutions as they should be. The RY and staff should be teaching and tending to the spiritual and educational needs of the students, not spending most of their times trying to raise funds and keep the doors open.

    in reply to: Answers for the tuition crisis #1687956
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I have been on OOT Yeshiva Day and High School boards (as well as a Mesifta or two) for more than 40 years, following in the footsteps of my father Z”L.
    The only time period when these institutions were self sufficient was in the late 1960s and 1970s. The public schools integrated and Jews were in a panic to place their children into all white educational environments.
    Large endowments and building contributions bought places for children with no previous religious education.

    By 1980 most of those who had lived in the cities had been able to sell their homes and buy.build in the white suburbs and they no longer needed this schooling. The endowments were in place and some continued to donate to annual fundraising drives.
    The most important thing these non-frum Jews did was to get Federations to make Day Schools Constituent Agencies. Thus the entire Jewish community helped support Frum Day Schools and High Schools (as well as Conservative, Reform and nondenominational schools.

    There is not enough donor money to carry the weight in the frum community. Really good fundraisers understand that the entire Jewish community, businesses and institutions should be mined for resources.

    in reply to: Answers for the tuition crisis #1687645
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Curiosity
    The voucher for free merchandise as part of remuneration would also be subject to income tax, payroll tax, etc.
    Why should employees be told where they have to shop. They can’t use the vouchers to pay their home utility bills, or gas up the car.
    The local participating Jewish merchant will be more expensive than the general merchants, This is reminiscent of the company stores who ripped off workers paid scrip 100 years ago.e Bad ideas from the past should be left buried, not resurrected.

    Bad ideas from the past sh

    in reply to: Why do Yeshiva not pay their Rabbes and Teachers on time? #1686304
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The unpaid staff may not be filing labor department complaints, but in some states, any non-profit that takes any government money (Bus service, food programs, special education, nurses, etc) is subject to audits by all state departments including wage and hour division of labor dept

    in reply to: Is Trump the GOAT(Greatest of All Time) #1685985
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    at least FORTY of them

    in reply to: What Wearing a White Shirt says about you as a working man. #1685613
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rebetzin
    That chef is wearing whites that come from a linen supply or uniform company who bleached and launders them.
    The plumber or carpenter who gets greasy fixing you pipes owns his clothes and his wife is stuck laundering them. Trying to keep them pristine while running a household is not feasible, thus the dark colors.

    in reply to: Answers for the tuition crisis #1685149
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Zahavasdad
    I believe teachers should be well paid.
    That said, one must realize that the union teacher in the public school district has a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, state certification, a teaching license, is required to attend professional development classes and in some states obtain a master’s degree within 5 years.

    That Morah who is receiving a low wage may only have a Bais Yaakov education and a year in Israeli seminary.
    This doesn’t mean she isn’t a good teacher, but we are not comparing the same job and requirement for employment.

    When a cleaning lady who doesn’t speak much English gets $30/hour, that Morah should be paid at least $50.

    in reply to: Yeshivas: maximizing enrollment vs maximizing quality #1684818
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    “Mama, can Avremi and Yossi stay for dinner?”
    “You know I only made enough for the family”
    Tateh to Mama: “Put a little more water in the soup”

    At some point the soup may be filling, but has little nutritional value!

    Just because we can squeeze another student or two into the classroom, doesn’t mean a quality education can be delivered to all the students.
    Not every Rebbi is capable of teaching the same number of students and not every classroom mix is the same

    in reply to: Robocalls for Various Tzedakas #1684732
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Charities are not bound by the Federal Do Not Call regulations,
    same as politicians running for office or any company you have ever done business with

    Too many exceptions

    in reply to: USA ANTISEMITISM #1684412
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    It used to be legal.
    Prior to the Civil Rights Act of 1964…..
    I’ve seen many a property deed that says no Jews
    When my older brother applied to university he was told the Jew Quota was closed (1963)
    Clubs and hotels were restricted.
    In the 1800s in many US states only Christians could vote or hold office

    I could go on and on.

    NO, 2019 is not the highest rate of anti-Semitism in US history, but the media brings it to our attention.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1683526
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rebbetzin
    Thanks for your good wishes for my grandson’s recovery.
    The discussion of the Chasam Sofer is interesting, but my days of arguing the theoretical really ended when I left Yeshiva for university and law school. As an attorney I deal in the concrete facts of the situation.As we say the theoretical is not ripe, it could not be brought for a prospective judgment.

    Small town synagogue life is far different than big city shtieblach. Everything is more regimented and seats, tables, siddurim, chumashim, machzorim outnumber the congregants. Young people tend not to return to raise their families and we see many synagogues close and sell off or give away their belongings.

    Just this year, a major MO Hungarian shul less than 20 minutes from here closed and was demoished and senior living apartments are being built on its site. Mrs. CTL grew up in that shul and when we were in high school there were 500 member families, a Rav, asst. Rabbi, educational director, Hebrew School and Day school. As of a year ago they couldn’t get a regular minyan. The suburb is still white and Jewish, just not frum. The next generations moved away to NY, Baltimore, EY, etc.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1683212
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Whitecar
    I’ve always said I was born and raised and still live in southern CT.
    I went to college in Philadelphia and Law School in Mass.
    I am admitted to the CT, MA, NY and FL bars but only practice in CT and FL

    To my knowledge I have never been in Lakewood.
    I saw the Brooklyn Dodgers when they still played at Ebbets Field in Flatbush.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1683192
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rebbetzin
    I both a seat in a specific location. Let’s call it row B seat 6 (a made up location). If the shul expands and adds additional seating, but my physical seat is still where it was, then that is my seat.
    If the shul wanted to remodel and move seats and rows (adding 10 feet might change where the bimah would be located to keep it central) then the shul would have to negotiate with owners of life interest in specific seats. The shul could not just move a purchased seat.

    I don’t see such a thing happening, as I’ve said before most suburban shuls were built for the baby boom of the 50s and 60s and have far more seats than needed today.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1683191
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    When I am a guest in another shul where I am a stranger, I make sure to arrive early, ask those present who the Gabbai is and inquire as to where I should sit.
    If I know in advance that I’ll be there, I might call the shul office and ask if there is someone I should ask for on arrival who can show me where I should sit.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1683190
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @iacisrmma

    No you are not violating HIPAA…and neiher and I, we are not healthcare professionals treating my grandson.
    They were unable to do the surgery as the ankle is too swollen. They injected sedatives, pushed the bones back into place and constructed and applied a splint. He is restricted to bed with raised foot until surgery will be done (no later than Monday) they will be inserting a plate, not just pins as originally thought.

    He is sleeping soundly right now in what had been his great grandmothers’ room. Mrs. CTL and I had made a decision to keep the hospital bed, wheelchair and other equipment figuring it might be needed at one time or another as we age, never expecting it would be used fro a grandchild.

    דער מענטש טראַכט און גאָט לאַכט.

    Thank you for your thoughts and interest

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1682766
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK
    I am not writing about pother shuls that have other rules, or what went on in Germany decades before either of us were born.
    I wrote about the contract for sale of a seat and its privileges in my own synagogue.
    My mother’s side was German, arriving in the USA from Bavaria in 1868. I was brought up that if you are not punctual it is rude and unacceptable. The last time I was late to shul was first day R”H 5778 because my MIL was niftara the previous evening and I would not leave Mrs. CTL until our daughters had arrived to her, then I went to shul where my sons, sons in law and older grandchildren were in the family seats.

    Every shul is an independent organization that may have a board that sets rules, others are fiefdoms run by the will of the Rav. What we don’t have is a diocese system such as the Catholic Church that sets standard rules to be followed by every constituent parish.

    Every Jew may join or not join the synagogue of his/her choice providing they meet the requirements set for membership. Once a member they are free to get involved and reach a position that helps set policy.

    I grew up in a shul that had open seating, I prefer assigned/purchased seats. That said I often willingly give up my seat in advance for scheduled simchas.
    Unlike shteiblach, I am speaking about a seat in the sanctuary (which has hundreds of fixed pew seats) NOT the minyan room, which seats 60 and is first come first served (except for the Rav’s seat).

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1682519
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Unfortunately, something happened today the CTL family that affects our seats this Shabbos………………………

    My 14 year old grandson was playing basketball in PE and twisted and broke his ankle. Tomorrow morning they will operate and pin the ankle back together. He will be restricted to the house for two weeks, then out using crutches. He will recuperate in our home because his own bedroom is on the second floor, and we have a first floor handicapped accessible/equipped suite that had been used by both out late mothers.
    SO, this Shabbos the CTL clan will hold minyan at our home as well as kiddush and lunch. At minyan this afternoon I told the shul Gabbai that he was welcome to let others use our seats this week.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1682449
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Gadolhadorah
    Please do not confuse purchased seats for use (life tenancy in our shul) with fundraising memorial placques on seats. I have no right to claim a seat that has a placque in memory of my late father. That just says money was given to the shul to honor his memory, just like a window, classroom, etc. My right is to a seat with my own name on it for which I purchased a life use plus pay annual dues. When my father Z”L was niftar, his name plate was removed from his seat and it was made for sale by the shul. My brother purchased it for his grandson.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1682401
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rebbetzin
    You don’t seem to be willing to understand that there are no shortage of seats for kiddush at our shul. The only seat saving I condone is so that a family may sit together. I would prefer that Yankele save 6 seats so that when Ima and the babies come into the social hall the family sits together and both parents tend to the kids, than have three youngsters parked in single empty eats at otherwise adult tables.

    As for hoarding or grabbing quantities of food that is unacceptable. We are a bit more upscale than many shuls, if there is a kiddush with more than kichel, wine, juice there will be paid staff from the caterer serving the food, no one will be grabbing 6 pieces of kugel. Someone may have two plates in his hands, one for himself and one for an elderly or infirm relative who is already seated. The servers would place one piece on each plate……period.

    I never said it is okay to hoard limited quantity items, getting a plate for an elderly or infirm person is not hoarding.

    B”H neither food or seating is stretched to the limits in our shul.

    To quote my deceaed OMA, it soundslike the people behaving that way in the shuls you frequent sound like ‘peasants from the east’

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1681957
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rebbetzin
    Don’t try to argue law with an attorney, you have not read the contract for sale of the seat. Not only have I read it, I wrote it along with a property attorney and a Superior Court Judge.

    I purchased a life tenancy, so no I can’t take it home. Anyone using it without my permission is not a tenant as you suppose (erroneously) but a SQUATTER subject to immediate eviction.

    Your suppositions that: “A shul extends an open invitation to all visitors to enter and use their facility. This implied invitation allows visitors to become “tenants” in “your” empty seat. As the “landlord” (with very limited property rights) you cannot merely evict the tenant because you showed up!

    I am explaining this at length because this is a common misconception in shuls when people claim rights to “their” seats.” is FALSE. Our shul has signs in the lobby instructing visitors/guests to see an usher or gabbai for seating and that seats with nameplates are not to be used without permission,
    I f I know I’ll not e in shul on a given day, I infirm the gabbai, and as my agent he may let someone use my seat.

    The $5,000 I paid for my seat 30 years ago doesn’t relieve me of paying annual dues.
    The congregation is a private entity and as such may adopt its own rules, you can’t make blanket statements based on other synagogues’ practices.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1681930
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Ubiquitin
    No one has to stand while my paid for eat sits empty awaiting my arrival.
    The nature of small town shuls is that they were built to accommodate the baby boom of the 50s and 60s (as well as white flight) and have far more seats than members to fill them.

    As I have posted before, there are signs in our shul’s lobby informing guests to ask an usher or gabbai for a place to sit and that seats with name plates are not to be used by guests.
    I have also posted that if I know I will not be in attendance I inform the gabbai in advance and tell him he may let others use my seat

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1681932
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @1
    where did I write the board told a Rov what to do?
    I’ll give 1000 dollars tzedaka if you can point that out
    I wrote the board had a discussion about unacceptable behavior by his wife

    The Rav is an employee of the congregation and serves at their pleasure. When his contract was up it was not renewed for a number of reasons.

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1681760
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rebbitzen
    I made no mention of taking food. It is only proper to take food not for yourself if it is to feed an elderly or infirm adult who is unable to do so, or a parent putting food onto the plate of a young child who should not be taking it him/herself.
    These types of kiddushes with the heavy cooked food are not the norm in our OOT shuls.
    In fact I had a run in years ago with the Rebbitzen of my shul in my previous town. She was heard announcing to her 8 children that they should eat plenty at the kiddush, because she was not serving Shabbos lunch when they got home.
    The executive board had a discussion with the Rabbi after that about this unacceptable behavior.

    BTW>>>>unlike many shtieblach, our suburban synagogues do not have a shortage of seating space (or food). Attendees are generally members. Seats being saved at kiddush are so that a family may be seated together, not to get a seat while others have to stand.

    It sounds like you attend a shul with ill-bred and ill-behaved people

    in reply to: Saving shul seats, sidurrim for others not yet here #1681656
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    If my seat has my nameplate on it showing that I have purchased it, NO ONE has richus to be seated, even if I don’t show up until Adon Olam.
    I have no problem with a person holding seats at kiddush so that his wife/kids have time to join him and be seated as a family. That does NOT mean entering the kiddush hall in advance of the congregation to reserve the seats. Unless we are sponsoring the kiddush or attending a simcha such as a Bar Mitzvnch , we don’t stay for the food, we leave after the Rav makes kiddush. We eat lunch at home, not shul.

    I’m old fashioned, I think kiddush should be wine, kichel, grape juice and maybe some fresh fruit.

    in reply to: Guns #1681647
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Funnybone
    I consider any member of a well regulated militia (government regulated that is) to be military and they would be allowed to have guns

    “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

    So, if you bear arms for other reasons and the government says no, it is not an infringement of your rights.
    IMHO

    in reply to: Guns #1681297
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I actually agree 100% with Joseph about something.

    I know it’s Adar, but it’s NOT Purim yet!

    in reply to: Is Watching Sports Okay? #1680694
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The OP posed limits such as no cheerleaders/commercials………………….
    I would not want my kids at professional sports venues where the crowds are out of hand, drinking beer, vulgar language, etc.

    That said, I take my grandchildren (as I did not children) to attend local college baseball games as treats during Chol HaMoed Pesach. There is no alcohol sold, the crowd is a family type. The players are scholar athletes who must maintain grades to play/stay on the teams (Note I did not include footballi or basketball which attract a lower strata of fans and players).

    An afternoon in the fresh air and sunshine at the ballpark is worthwhile and healthy. Helps eliminate Vitamin D deficiency,

    in reply to: Dating or sit ins? #1678777
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sit ins are for the college crowd (showing my age)

    in reply to: Shul Membership Drives #1678607
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Just a a point of information:
    OOT is is not unusual for people to belong and pay dues to multiple shuls. Many people pay dues to the shul they grew up in so that they will be able to be buried in family plots on that shul’s cemetery.
    Others pay dues for business reasons supporting all the torah institutions in town.

    in reply to: Shul Membership Drives #1678605
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @DY
    “What would happen if the chiyuv of the non paying member was bigger (e.g. yahrtzeit vs. avel during 11 months)?”
    The first time this happened the guest would be given the honor (provided the paying member was not sponsoring a kiddush/oneg on that date). The second time the Rav or Gabbai would explain to the guest that the honor belonged to dues paying members and suggest the guest join (if a local resident).

    I changed the verbiage in my answer from non-paying member to differentiate between guest and congregants who for some reason are unable to pay dues.

    in reply to: Shul Membership Drives #1678602
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @JDBguest
    Actually owning the seat with my nameplate on it does mean that my neighbor’s CANNOT sit there if I arrive late.
    Our shul has signs in the lobby advising guests to check with an usher or the Gabbai for available seats. Also, a notice that seats with name plates are not available to be used at will.
    I am seldom late, generally if caused by a true emergency. I expect my seat to be open when I arrive, The last time I was late was first Day R”H when my MIL was niftara the night before in our home. I took extra time to make sure my daughters had Mrs. CTL comforted and rounded up the grandchildren and arrived about 10. I found it comforting to have our family block of seats waiting for us.

    That said, if I know I’ll not be in shul for Shabbos or Yuntif I let the Gabbai know in advance and he is free to let others use my seat.

    in reply to: Dating or sit ins? #1678596
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Dating…………..
    I always told my boys: Pick a nice restaurant, even if there is nothing worth a pursuing, at least you had a good meal.

    in reply to: Shul Membership Drives #1678454
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @DY
    If a paying member of the shul and a non-member both have yahrzeit on a given day, the paying member is accorded a place ahead of the non-member for honors. To quote the old American Express advertisements: “Membership has its privileges”

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