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Health………….
LU can NOT be her own sibling. She stated that every one of her siblings got married. Not that all per parents children got married.
Lilmod Ulelamaid…………..
The first US President I remember was Dwight Eisenhower.
He was also one of the worst and most ineffective Presidents in my lifetime.
He was a war hero who was courted by both parties and sold out to the Republicans. He brought us that vile right wing VP Tricky Dick Nixon…the only US President to ever have to resign the office.
Eisenhower enriched the Military/Industrial complex at the expense of the ordinary citizens. He spent major periods of time playing golf and/or recuperating from heart attacks at his farm while the Dulles brothers led us to ruin.
He got us involved in French Indo-China (Viet Nam) allowed screwball Senator McCarthy to ruin the lives of countless American Jews (among others) with his blacklists and the kangaroo court HUAC hearings.
Nothing good came out of his administration.
The Presidency of Bill Clinton was the best I’ve lived through. I admit my bias having known both Clintons personally since their days at Yale Law School. There was great prosperity in the land. Minorities made major achievements socially and economically. There was general peace, our troops had little active engagement overseas. I liked his judicial appointments and other policies.
It was the last time our government operated for a year with a balanced budget.
Personally, I never lost so much money and had such lousy business experiences as in both Bush administrations. These Republicans were not good for business, as opposed to being good for their WASP elite friends and the Saudi Royal family. They used brother Jeb to steal the 2000 election and always hide the fact the brother Neil cost US taxpayers millions in the bailout of Siverado Savings and Loan. Laura was a drunk who committed vehicular homicide and was then first lady, so how can we complain about what Trump is bringing in as the next first ‘lady?’ I am embarrassed to be from the same hometown as GW Bush..both born in Grace New Haven Hospital during the post WWII baby boom.
We have always used ‘Interfold’ toilet tissue for Shabbos. This is the type of toilet tissue that fits in the rectangular dispenser in public stalls. It is readily available from Amazon or local Janitorial supply houses.
We also use this type of paper towels for Shabbos
Torah613Torah
I listen far more than I speak. Many threads are of interest to me, but I am not qualified to post a quality opinion.
My father A”H was a man who used as few words as possible to get his point across. I learned from a ‘pro.’
My favorite example was when we were placing our orders for dinner at a Catskills hotel around 1960. The waiter asked my father how he would like his steak.
My father replied: “Large”
As a family law attorney for some 35+ years I can say that the rise of divorce in the Jewish community has mirrored the Gentile community, but lagging by about 5 years.
I believe the OP meant to ask about the Hareidi community, not the Jewish Community as a whole. They have lagged the rest of the Jewish community by about 15 years.
The stigma of a divorce in the family no longer means inability for the children of siblings to make a shidduch, although it still takes effort and searching.
One reason that women, who previously would not have considered divorce are seeking it is that there is mandated reporting by health and other professional who suspect physical and other abuse in patients’ lives.
Once this is reported the social service system takes told, frum women are exposed to the mental health system. They are told that they are victims who must extricate themselves from horrible and possibly deadly situations.
Years ago, a frum doctor seeing a frum wife with a black eye or fracture might have called the husband in and read him the riot act, or notified the Rav to get involved. Today with Hipaa laws in place and mandated reporting, the doctor can’t make these calls, but may have to notify the local police precinct.
Thus, the secular system is interjected into the frum community and divorce rates rise.
Kapusta…
Thank you for your kind inquiry.
The best I can say is fair. She is currently recovering from her 11th surgery of 2016, done last Friday. It was not a complete success. It is only with complete emunah in Hashem that we manage to go on with our daily activities.
The CR serves for me as both a diversion and online support system. Mrs. CTL is a very private person and I cannot discuss in person her condition with friends and most relatives.
She is in our tefilos
Soporific is something that tends to induce drowsiness or sleep.
It could be a sleeping pill, but a particularly boring lecture or book can do the same.
huju…………
I often use the passive voice when I neither wish to make attribution or don’t have permission to do so. This is not necessarily weaseling or obfuscating.
I practice family law and often we have to leave the names and/or clues to the identity of minors or abuse victims out of what is written that it becomes habit.
huju………….
again you are attributing words to my post that are not written by me.
I never used the word ‘pretty,’ so to simply have written that my grandmother told me to find a pretty wife is a falsehood.
Grandmother’s admonition was to look at the girl’s mother for a view of what the girl would look like in the future and decide if it was acceptable as a mate.
Some women age more gracefully than others, if a ‘pretty’ 20 year old had a mother who presented herself as a washed out hag the warning signals would go off. OTOH if a plain 20 year old had a mother who presented herself in a well groomed and confident manner, the girl might be someone worthy of consideration as a lifetime mate.
Lilmod……………….
building and supporting institutions is quite different from directly supporting individuals who st and learn.
BTW…I’ve been in Asia many of times, there are fat Asians. The Chinese word for fat is WO. As their economy grows so have their wastelines.
South Koreans, under US auspices for the past 60+ years are substantially heavier than Cambodians, Laotians, Viet Namese, etc.
huju………..
If you read my post it says we were told. It does not say we were taught. I choose my words carefully (part of being a lawyer). In fact it was my grandmother who told my brothers and me this consideration.
I did not use it when choosing Mrs. CTL. Our mothers were friends who set us up. I can look at pictures of Mrs. CTL at 30, 40 50 and 60 and they are easilly confused with pictures of her mother at the same age…and all are pleasing to my eyes.
3L
3rd year law student
Follows
Freshman, Sophomore, Junior and Senior years of College in most cases.
Some law schools have switched to a 2 year curricula.
My children did two years plus summers, or 5 semesters and one summer
Lenny1970
Thanks….
she and we are in no hurry. We marry later than many in the CR as it is expected that our children complete college and grad school first. She has 3 semesters left in college and then law school (coming into the family firm).
Her next older sister graduated law school last December, took the Bar exam in February, married erev Pesach and she and new SIL work for me. She met her husband in law school, set up by a Jewish professor who noted their absences for Yuntif.
Youngest expects to seriously start looking when she is in law school, but if something interesting pops up sooner she’ll consider it. She did a year of seminary between graduating high school a year early and college. Expects a husband to have either gone to college while in Yeshiva or spent a year or two learning full time before college. She will not consider supporting a husband who learns full time…not our minhag. We are the baal baatim of the world who make the money to support and build the institutions for those who sit and learn full time.
Lilmod Ulelamaid
Nature v. Nuture is always an interesting discussion.
Having 2 adopted children plus a number of birth children, I can say that the adopted children are thin (size 1) and about 5’8″ tall They are ages 20 and 28.
Mrs. CTL and I are heavy and 5’5″.
The adopted and birth children were raised together eating the same foods, so it’s not nurture, it’s genes.
All our children exercise, as do we. Full gym setup in the studio over the garage and our own in ground pool for laps, etc.
Whether or noty it should be an issue is another story.
When looking for a spouse we were told, don’t look at the girl and how she looks now, look at her mother and see if this is what you want your wife to look like in 30 years…………
Well, this backfired on a young man who was set up with our youngest daughter last year. He confided in the person setting him up that he wasn’t interested because Mrs. CTL was heavier than he wanted his wife to be at that age.
The fool needs to take high school biology, he didn’t understand that our daughter is Chinese (adopted) and carries none of Mrs. CTL’s genes.
Needless too say he would not have found favor in our daughter’s or our eyes.
Veltz Mshugener…..
“all posters on the Coffee Room, a 3L at Columbia Law School.”
Really, you must miss most posts, especially those looking for a post high school seminary.
This retirement age attorney hasn’t been a 3L in about 40 years and went to a different Ivy, not Columbia.
Lightbrite……….
Zucchini is just an Italian word that means little squash.
Zucca means squash.
Zucca del estate means summer squash.
Here in the northeastern US with large Italian population, who were the predominant vegetable farmers and greengrocers the Italian name came into everyday use.
Tonight (Sunday)we’ll be having turkey dinner in the CTL house as we do approximately 50 Sundays each year. In fact last night I went to one of the area general population supermarkets who had advertised a clearance on all frozen turkeys @ 79 cents per pound and bought every (22) Empire they had in stock. I filled 3 freezers in our garage with just over 400 pounds of frozen turkey.
I’ve been shopping this way for about 20 years. The store is part of a major chain that has many locations in Jewish areas. Therefore they stock all branches with Empire to cover their holiday advts. The small town 15 minutes from home has almost no Jews, the meat manager told me that the only customers buying kosher turkeys do so because they think they are pre-brined. Poor planning on the part of the chain, bargains for me
Veltz Meshugener
How fitting your name is………
There are Jews in Boston and many other OOT communities. That does not mean that there are sufficient numbers for a ‘decent’ kosher restaurant to be viable.
40 years ago I owned a kosher restaurant in a New England city that had 30,000 Jews. The politics of kashrut supervision were such that after a few years I sold the lease and equipment to a non-Jew for a treif restaurant. It was not possible to satisfy the kashrut requirements of each small group and make money. In a large city such as NY there are enough groups that hold by particular shitas for many restaurants to pick a group to serve and be profitable.
I’ve been in court all week, because the courts will close Thursday and Friday for a long holiday, judges scheduled trials on Monday….a day usually reserved for conferences and opinion writing. Judge told us that court would end at 1PM today so that she could fly off to California to visit her children.
Youngest daughter came home from college in NY noontime yesterday, her professors cancelled afternoon classes to get a jumpstart on the holiday. I sent a complaint to the college President…I’m paying approximately $150 for each classroom hour and I expect the classes to be taught, not have some lazy professor steal my money.
Local public schools close at noon today for travel, private schools are closed.
This is a far cry from when I was in school or university when he got Thanksgiving Day off, full day Wednesday and Friday.
All this time off from school jus keeps contributing to the dumbing down of America
We went to Probate Court in summer 1997 for a CT Birth Certificate, she had a Green Card issued in China. When the law became effective in 2000 she was automatically a citizen. She did not require Naturalization papers.
I have a printed copy of the law that I took to Motor vehicles when she got her driver’s license because they insisted she needed Naturalization Papers since she was born in China. Local branch clueless, faxed the copy of the law and her Ct Birth Certificate to legal dept in Hartford, they got on the phone with me and I read them the riot act (helps to be a CT Lawyer) and they issued her license. Now all branches have a memorandum explaining the law and how it works.
We did not want Naturalized Citizen status for her. When she applied to college/nursing school there were certain scholarship awards that were not open to Naturalized Citizens or Aliens. Not a public institution, so not subject to the Federal Civil Rights guarantees based on nationality and alienage.
Yehudayona……..
Yes, I replied to your first post
We adopted in China in 1997
The instant citizenship law (2000) was retroactive for children born after 1986
“Child Born Between November 14, 1986, and the Present
If at the time of your birth, both your parents were U.S. citizens and at least one had a prior residence in the U.S., you automatically acquired U.S. citizenship, with no conditions for keeping it.
If only one parent was a U.S. citizen at the time of your birth, that parent must have resided in the U.S. for at least five years, and at least two of those years must have been after your parent reached the age of 14.
I went into Probate Court with the adoption papers form China and our daughter’s Green Card and the judge ordered a CT Birth Certificate issued that listed China as place of birth. She was instantly a citizen. I used a copy of the law when she had to get a passport as the Post Office employees are clueless in the local branch.
Yehudayona…
BTW>>>>as adoptive US Citizen parents of a child born abroad, she gained instant US Citizenship under US law, even though the adoption took place a few months after her birth.
I practice family law and immigration law comes into play so I have to keep up on these issues
Yehudayona…
” I wonder what would happen with the grandchildren of those who were last domiciled in New York if the parents are U.S. citizens who never lived in the U.S.”
The grandchildren would NOT be US citizens!
If you look at the US Citizens and Immigration Services website section on ‘Citizenship through Parents’ you will find the law requires that the parent have had lived in the USA or its territories:
Both parents are U.S. citizens at the time of birth,
At least one parent lived in the U.S. or its territories prior to the birth.
One parent is a U.S. citizen at the time of birth and the birthdate is on or after November 14, 1986
The U.S. citizen parent had been physically present in the U.S. or its territories for a period of at least five years at some time in his or her life prior to the birth, of which at least two years were after his or her 14th birthday.
If the U.S. citizen parent spent time abroad in any of the following three capacities, this can also be counted towards the physical presence requirement:
Serving honorably in the U.S. armed forces;
Employed with the U.S. government; or
Employed with certain international organizations.
Additionally, time spent abroad by the U.S. citizen parent while the U.S. citizen parent was the unmarried son or daughter and a member of the household of a person who meets any of the three conditions listed above can also be counted.
AND…
The genetic or non-genetic gestational legal mother is a U.S. citizen at the time of birth, and the birth date is after December 23, 1952 The mother had previously been physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for a continuous period of at least one year.
The genetic father is a U.S. citizen at the time of birth, the mother is an alien, and the birthdate is on or after November 14, 1986
A blood relationship between the person and the father is established by clear and convincing evidence,
The father (unless deceased) has agreed in writing to provide financial support for the person until the person reaches the age of 18 years, and
While the person is under the age of 18 years one of the following occurs:
The father acknowledges paternity of the person in writing under oath, or
The paternity of the person is established by adjudication of a competent court, and
The U.S. citizen parent was physically present in the U.S. or its territories for a period of at least 5 years at some time in his or her life prior to the birth, at least 2 of which were after his or her 14th birthday.
If the U.S. citizen parent spent time abroad in any of the following three capacities, this can also be counted towards the physical presence requirement:
Serving honorably in the U.S. armed forces;
Employed with the U.S. government; or
Employed with certain international organizations.
Additionally, time spent abroad by the U.S. citizen parent while the U.S. citizen parent was the unmarried son or daughter and a member of the household of a person who meets any of the three conditions listed above can also be counted.
Geordie613
I am a liberal Democrat, but I don’t speak for the party, I can only speak for myself. There are many accomplishments during the Obama administration that benefited the country and/or its inhabitants.
#1 Recovery from the GW Bush financial meltdown of 2007/8
Stock market and employment up, mortgage rates down, funds available for business and personal borrowing
#2 Affordable Care Act (often called Obamacare). I for one have had my monthly premiums go down $600, benefited from being able to have my over 18 and under 26 year old daughters remain on my policy and elimination of expense caps. Mrs. CTL just had her 11th surgery this year with another next week. Our policy has now paid out more than $2 million, it used to have a $1 million cap
#3 Normalization of relationship with Cuba. This is a benefit to both populations and business. I look forward to a visit there. I was last there in 1959. My wife has distant relatives there who couldn’t get US entry visas in 1940 but got into Cuba. It has been hard to get supplies and money to them for decades, now it is quite easy. I no longer have to get Canadian friends to handle this for us.
There are many more items, but I am not writing a treatise in defense of the President. All administrations accomplish things that some people like and others do not.
Bigdeal
It is not because of me that Trump will be President. Trump lost CT where I live and vote.
Coverage under the ACA is different in every state. Health Insurance premiums have been skyrocketing far longer than ACA is the law.
Here, I did not lose a single doctor’s care, or availability of any provider, in fact I have more . My coverage is with the same carrier as before ACA. I have individual coverage, not through an employer or a group.
I can not speak top coverages and changes in other states.
As for the comment about a story from some CPA posted earlier. I challenge the poster to examine the actual bills for the same individual/family with the same policy. NO carrier got approval for a 300% increase in one year.
iacisrmma
If you weren’t shown the insurance company invoices for the same person for the same coverage, you have anecdotal evidence.
Hearsay is not admissible (with a few stated exceptions) in a court of law for good reason.
yehudayona and Daas Yochid
I don’t know how old you are and whether you were an adult before Roe V. Wade.
I was. Before Rose v. Wade pregnant women in the US who wanted to terminate an abortion had 2 choices: an illegal procedure, often fraught with danger or go out of the country. When I was in high school if you heard a girl was going to San Juan PR for a weekend that was code for flying there for a legal abortion. Poor women suffered the illegal and dangerous procedures and if something went wrong and they ended up min the emergency room at the local hospital they were subject to arrest, prosecution and prison.
I, parent of adopted children am not in favor of abortion at will. That said there are times when it is medically necessary to save the life of the woman. I don’t want a law without exceptions.
iacisrmma………..
Don’t believe anecdotal evidence ‘somebody told me’
Health insurance increases have to be approved by each state.
The National Conference of State Legislators has published charts on line showing state by state increases for 2017
NY has a weighted increase of 17.3% That $1100 premium would be approx $1290 come January. No one is approving an increase of 300% as you relayed.
Mashiach Agent
The President can’t repeal Obamacare.
Only Congress can do that.
They would never repeal it effective immediately, they would enact legislation to end it at the end of a calendar year.
Since most are up for reelection every 2 years, chances are it won’t be repealed but drastically modified.
akuperma…….
in states with Healthcare exchanges, qualification for Medicaid is quick and easy determined by application for insurance…too low an income to contribute even a reduced fee, then you are enrolled in Medicaid. Medicaid is now part of Obamacare
NO INTERACTION with state welfare/social service dept/ No long waits, cards arrive in a week. No being forced to attend employment training, etc/
iacisrmma
Don’t generalize about costs doubling EVERY state is different.
Mrs. CTL and I have a policy purchased thru the Connecticut Health Care Exchange. I am self employed and always provided my own coverage. Our increase for 2017 will be 17%.
This is comparable for what other companies/plans are increasing in the group markets in CT.
Now for the benefits:
Preexisting conditions cannot prevent your from being covered
No more coverage caps.
Our policy is with the same carrier we had before Obamacare. It used to have a $1million annual cap, $3million lifetime, Those in the CR may know that Mrs. CTL spent a month on life support this spring and has had numerous surgeries, etc (another next Tuesday). Her bills have totaled more than $2million this year. That would have wiped out much of our equity and destroyed planned retirement,
If you have a life changing event, you can get coverage, even if it is not the annual enrollment period. Our 28 year old was working for a company who went belly up in 2014. Cobra was cost prohibitive as she was going from a good salary to unemployment compensation overnight. One call to the CT Healthcare Exchange got her immediate coverage with premiums based on her expected Unemployment Compensation income. Premium was only $35 per month. She had a new position within 3 weeks, but had to wait 90 days for company benefits…this took good care of her.
Our 20 year old is still covered on our policy until 26.
Our policy is with the same carrier as before and costs $600 less per month (and I don’t qualify for an income based savings).
Instead of losing doctors and hospitals, many specialists who didn’t take our policy before Obamacare, do now.
YesorNo……….
Based on FB profile page it is my opinion that it is his real name
Geordie613…………
Dankie en ‘n goeie jaar
There is no reason not to use technology that does not violate halacha to enhance the joy of Sukkos.
Yesorno………….
You have made a statement that is not true:
“Everyone in the Coffee Room is automatically not the real person they are. They all have Usernames”
There are some here whose user name is their real name.
One that comes to mind is Charlie Hall> I have seen his signed postings on both Facepook and the Forward’s website.
I employ a user name because the Bar Examining Committee of our state prefers attorneys not post on social media using real names, so they may not be accused of offering legal advice to non-clients.
Reb Yid23 Recipe for the cookies:
Cookies
2 2/3 cups (335 grams) all-purpose flour
2/3 cup plus 1/4 cup (75 grams) extra dark or Dutch-processed unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/4 cups (2 1/2 sticks or 285 grams) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar
3/4 teaspoon table salt
2 large egg yolks
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface and divide into two equal pieces. If the dough is too soft to handle, wrap and chill it until firm enough to roll out (I recommend 30 minutes only; any longer and it becomes crumbly to roll out). Roll each batch into a 1/4-inch thick rectangle, about 10 by 8 inches. Cut into a total of 24 20 2-by-4-inch rectangles. You may have enough extra to reroll the scraps and create 4 more 2-by-4-inch rectangles, in which case, you could make two additional sandwiches.
Bake the cookies for 16 to 18 minutes, or until they stay firm when tapped in the center. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Repeat with remaining cookie dough, rerolling scraps as needed.
Enjoy.
Youngest daughter had found this on the internet and makes ice cream sandwiches with flavors she likes, not just vanilla and chocolate
I posted earlier that we had wifi in the sukkah as it was only a few feet from our router.
Our 28 year old lives and works in Europe. A wifi connection allowed her to share in our family gathering on CH via Skype and/or Facetime. This only added to the simchas chag for her parents and bubbe
Lenny1970
B”H my experience with clients and the Beis Din issuing a Get is limited. In 35+ years of legal practice maybe 30 cases have gone to the Beis Din (most of my clientele is not Jewish).
I only remember 2 cases where one party didn’t want to complete the Get process after a civil divorce was already in case.
One was a husband who thought he could extract financial concessions from his ex-wife in exchange for giving the get. I reminded him that this also meant he was not free to remarry…if 20 years from that momment he wanted to and didn’t know where his ex-wife had relocated, he’d be stuck. Furthermore, I would tell the civil court judge of his antics and no modification of the divorce/support/alimony/custody orders would be granted. He saw the light and completed the process.
The other was a female who truly did not want a divorce. She was afraid that her younger sisters would be unable to make a good shidduch if it was known the eldest sister was divorced. She and her husband agreed that she would relocate to Florida (they had no children) and give her sisters 3 years to marry. At that time the Get would be completed and given, leaving the husband free to remarry.
It turned out not to matter…she had a heart attack and passed away about 3 days after coming to this agreement.
BUT…to really answer your final question. The Beis Din can’t force a man to physically hand his wife a get, nor can they physically hold her with her hands in place to receive the Get….most couples who have a secular divorce attorney and a case filed in civil court know that a divorce will occur and they might as well both be free to get on with their lives/remarry.
Lenny1970
Re: Civil Divorce Laws (CT)
If a spouse files for divorce and meets all the filing/counseling requirements the Civil Court MUST grant a divorce.
This is NOT what No Fault Divorce means. No Fault Divorce means that in an uncontested divorce the court cannot weigh fault of one party (adultery, cruelty, desertion, etc.) in determining how marital assets will be split.
In a contested divorce, e.g. husband wants a divorce, wife doesn’t…wife was caught cheating on husband with another man, the court can apportion fault and reduce the share of marital assets. This has nothing to do with alimony or child support which follow state guidelines (which do allow for deviation for special circumstances).
Joseph…
I have seen/heard your point about a Get Me’usa before. In these cases the Civil court is not forcing the recalcitrant husband to issue the Get. He is reminded of the binding contract he signed before marriage and is given 30 days to cure the breach or be held liable for damages. If he chooses to cure the breach by going to the Beis Din and then giving the Get it has been considered valid by our LORs as well as some poskim who have been consulted. This is not a case where a civil court judge says comply or go to jail. The breach of the prenuptial agreement is a contract law issue and the penalty for breach is to pay damages.
BTW here in CT if a couple obtains a Get from a recognizable Beis Din before going for a Civil Divorce, judges tend to enter the Jewish Divorce into the record and only deal with custody, visitation and financial matters.
Lenny1970
I can only speak to what is ‘normal’ in CT, not NY or other places.
Our civil divorce laws require a minimum of 120 days from filing suit until a divorce may be granted. Couples are also required to undergo counseling before a divorce can be granted and a report form the counselor must be submitted to the judge.The judges generally will not accept a report that shows just one or two sessions for the purposes of satisfying the court, usually a minimum of 6 months of weekly sessions is required.
I have had the Beis Din require that the counseling report submitted to the civil court also be resented to the Beis Din for examination. This generally eliminates the Beis Din sending the couple for counseling or attempts at reconciliation.
In my experience the couple always goes through the civil divorce process before the Get process. This way, all financial/custody issues have been settled before reaching the Beis Din.
It always goes more smoothly when a divorce is uncontested, be it civil or Beis Din.
Last Year I represented a female in a civil divorce. After it was granted, the husband refused to go to the Beis Din to obtain and give a Get…he tried to extract benefits in exchange for doing so. I had written the Prenuptial agreement prior to marriage and it stated that in event of a civil divorce both parties will cooperate in swiftly obtaining a Get issued by an Orthodox Beis Din.
We went back to the Family Court Judge, who ordered the ex-husband to appear before the Beis Din and complete the Get process within 30 days or be subject to civil court penalties. In this case the Judge was not enforcing religious law, but a valid contract under civil law.
From experience, if a couple lives in an insular frum community they may seek redress in a Beis Din before or instead of civil court. OOT one only goes to the expense to bring in a Beis Din when the marriage is over, civil divorce granted and a Get should be issued, the Beis Din does this in an expedient manner.
In all my years as a family law attorney who then takes Jewish clients through the Get process I have never seen a Beis Din consider the existence of children in granting the Get. The support/custody issues have been resolved before the parties ever see the Beis Din
We have a regular at our daily minyan who is consistently late for shacharis. He is a widower with young children and has to drive them to school before coming to shul. We applaud his dedication