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Yesorno………….
You have made a statement that is not true:
“Everyone in the Coffee Room is automatically not the real person they are. They all have Usernames”
There are some here whose user name is their real name.
One that comes to mind is Charlie Hall> I have seen his signed postings on both Facepook and the Forward’s website.
I employ a user name because the Bar Examining Committee of our state prefers attorneys not post on social media using real names, so they may not be accused of offering legal advice to non-clients.
Reb Yid23 Recipe for the cookies:
Cookies
2 2/3 cups (335 grams) all-purpose flour
2/3 cup plus 1/4 cup (75 grams) extra dark or Dutch-processed unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/4 cups (2 1/2 sticks or 285 grams) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar
3/4 teaspoon table salt
2 large egg yolks
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface and divide into two equal pieces. If the dough is too soft to handle, wrap and chill it until firm enough to roll out (I recommend 30 minutes only; any longer and it becomes crumbly to roll out). Roll each batch into a 1/4-inch thick rectangle, about 10 by 8 inches. Cut into a total of 24 20 2-by-4-inch rectangles. You may have enough extra to reroll the scraps and create 4 more 2-by-4-inch rectangles, in which case, you could make two additional sandwiches.
Bake the cookies for 16 to 18 minutes, or until they stay firm when tapped in the center. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Repeat with remaining cookie dough, rerolling scraps as needed.
Enjoy.
Youngest daughter had found this on the internet and makes ice cream sandwiches with flavors she likes, not just vanilla and chocolate
I posted earlier that we had wifi in the sukkah as it was only a few feet from our router.
Our 28 year old lives and works in Europe. A wifi connection allowed her to share in our family gathering on CH via Skype and/or Facetime. This only added to the simchas chag for her parents and bubbe
Lenny1970
B”H my experience with clients and the Beis Din issuing a Get is limited. In 35+ years of legal practice maybe 30 cases have gone to the Beis Din (most of my clientele is not Jewish).
I only remember 2 cases where one party didn’t want to complete the Get process after a civil divorce was already in case.
One was a husband who thought he could extract financial concessions from his ex-wife in exchange for giving the get. I reminded him that this also meant he was not free to remarry…if 20 years from that momment he wanted to and didn’t know where his ex-wife had relocated, he’d be stuck. Furthermore, I would tell the civil court judge of his antics and no modification of the divorce/support/alimony/custody orders would be granted. He saw the light and completed the process.
The other was a female who truly did not want a divorce. She was afraid that her younger sisters would be unable to make a good shidduch if it was known the eldest sister was divorced. She and her husband agreed that she would relocate to Florida (they had no children) and give her sisters 3 years to marry. At that time the Get would be completed and given, leaving the husband free to remarry.
It turned out not to matter…she had a heart attack and passed away about 3 days after coming to this agreement.
BUT…to really answer your final question. The Beis Din can’t force a man to physically hand his wife a get, nor can they physically hold her with her hands in place to receive the Get….most couples who have a secular divorce attorney and a case filed in civil court know that a divorce will occur and they might as well both be free to get on with their lives/remarry.
Lenny1970
Re: Civil Divorce Laws (CT)
If a spouse files for divorce and meets all the filing/counseling requirements the Civil Court MUST grant a divorce.
This is NOT what No Fault Divorce means. No Fault Divorce means that in an uncontested divorce the court cannot weigh fault of one party (adultery, cruelty, desertion, etc.) in determining how marital assets will be split.
In a contested divorce, e.g. husband wants a divorce, wife doesn’t…wife was caught cheating on husband with another man, the court can apportion fault and reduce the share of marital assets. This has nothing to do with alimony or child support which follow state guidelines (which do allow for deviation for special circumstances).
Joseph…
I have seen/heard your point about a Get Me’usa before. In these cases the Civil court is not forcing the recalcitrant husband to issue the Get. He is reminded of the binding contract he signed before marriage and is given 30 days to cure the breach or be held liable for damages. If he chooses to cure the breach by going to the Beis Din and then giving the Get it has been considered valid by our LORs as well as some poskim who have been consulted. This is not a case where a civil court judge says comply or go to jail. The breach of the prenuptial agreement is a contract law issue and the penalty for breach is to pay damages.
BTW here in CT if a couple obtains a Get from a recognizable Beis Din before going for a Civil Divorce, judges tend to enter the Jewish Divorce into the record and only deal with custody, visitation and financial matters.
Lenny1970
I can only speak to what is ‘normal’ in CT, not NY or other places.
Our civil divorce laws require a minimum of 120 days from filing suit until a divorce may be granted. Couples are also required to undergo counseling before a divorce can be granted and a report form the counselor must be submitted to the judge.The judges generally will not accept a report that shows just one or two sessions for the purposes of satisfying the court, usually a minimum of 6 months of weekly sessions is required.
I have had the Beis Din require that the counseling report submitted to the civil court also be resented to the Beis Din for examination. This generally eliminates the Beis Din sending the couple for counseling or attempts at reconciliation.
In my experience the couple always goes through the civil divorce process before the Get process. This way, all financial/custody issues have been settled before reaching the Beis Din.
It always goes more smoothly when a divorce is uncontested, be it civil or Beis Din.
Last Year I represented a female in a civil divorce. After it was granted, the husband refused to go to the Beis Din to obtain and give a Get…he tried to extract benefits in exchange for doing so. I had written the Prenuptial agreement prior to marriage and it stated that in event of a civil divorce both parties will cooperate in swiftly obtaining a Get issued by an Orthodox Beis Din.
We went back to the Family Court Judge, who ordered the ex-husband to appear before the Beis Din and complete the Get process within 30 days or be subject to civil court penalties. In this case the Judge was not enforcing religious law, but a valid contract under civil law.
From experience, if a couple lives in an insular frum community they may seek redress in a Beis Din before or instead of civil court. OOT one only goes to the expense to bring in a Beis Din when the marriage is over, civil divorce granted and a Get should be issued, the Beis Din does this in an expedient manner.
In all my years as a family law attorney who then takes Jewish clients through the Get process I have never seen a Beis Din consider the existence of children in granting the Get. The support/custody issues have been resolved before the parties ever see the Beis Din
We have a regular at our daily minyan who is consistently late for shacharis. He is a widower with young children and has to drive them to school before coming to shul. We applaud his dedication
I’m a family law attorney.
I B”H have not been thru the Get process but many of my clients have.
I answer your questions based on the most recent experience of a male client (August 2016) This was a 16 year marriage with no children.
Who wanted the divorce…the man
What was the reason for wanting the Get: Remarriage in the future
The Secular Divorce was in place before going for Get
The Beis Din asked both parties if they understood the Get and process and wished one issued. Both parties answered yes and the Get was written and issued on the spot
Connecticut secular courts require counseling before granting a divorce, so the Beis Din does not usually do so (this is my editorializing)
The Dayanim/sofer/Eidim were Chasidim from Brooklyn who cane to CT for the purpose of the Get and met in my conference room. I have used this particular group a number of times.
The American People won because they don’t have to listen or view another of these freak shows
Our Wifi reaches our sukkah at full signal strength, the sukkah is about 15 feet from the modem.
Typing this on my laptop in the sukkah while enjoying coffee and cake. Great, warm night for sleeping outside.
Golfer…………..
Clients were always given a choice and prices. A typical 4 tier wedding cake to serve 300 guests back then was about $450, a show cake with real 6″ top tier and sheet cakes cut and plated in the kitchen was $150. 9 of 10 clients chose to save money.
As a practical matter we could bake and frost sheet cakes and the 6″ round topper on Sunday for Sunday night chasunahs. But a 4 tier wedding cake would have been baked on Thursday and decorated Friday morning….by Sunday night guests would not be served a really fresh dessert.
flatbusher……
I was in both the kosher catering and kosher bakery business in the late 1970s. Most of the wedding and Bar Mitzvah cakes we sold/provided for show were made of styrofoam, cardboard cake circles and hard royal icing.
The actual cakes cut and served were sheet cakes held in the kitchen during the meal. The exception was that the top 6″ tier of a wedding cake was real so that the photographer could get a shot of a bride or groom feeding the spouse a piece of cake (at non-frum but kosher cuisine weddings).
OOT…sales of Lulav/Esrog is part of the shul rabbi’s parnassah (as is selling chometz on Pesach).
I don’t know the going price 65 miles away in NY, here I just pay $180 per set for myself and grandsons (sons and SILs are ole enough to buy their own) and one set for use in shul by those who do not have their own.
This is just another roll of Ball Baatim that I am glad to fulfill
Joseph……….
The gantze frum veldt does not live in your area and there is not a Siegelman’s cake at every Vort.
It is sad that people have no imagination and feel they have to have exactly the same things as their neighbors, family and friends.
When our last married daughter’s vort took place a year ago Mrs. CTL and her mother baked and decorated the cakes and it wasn’t because I couldn’t afford to buy expensive cakes.
147
I also broke the fast with alcohol. Family tradition is to break on a shot of whiskey before leaving shul. On arrival home I had a cup of black coffee and after changing clothing I had a brisket sandwich with cole slaw.
I did not have milchiges until the following morning.
whiskey, black coffee, beef….as my father, grandfather and great grandfather always broke the fast.
My wife had lox, bagel, whitefish, cream cheese….none of interests me.
??? ????? ????
To all…and I’m leaving politics out of this post
Joseph…
The Electoral College system varies by state. If you vote Trump in CT you are vote for a slate of electors pledged to vote for Trump and his running mate. You are not voting for electors who are free to cast their ballots in December for another person.
In some states the delegates to the Electoral College are free to change their votes, but it is very rare that it happens.
As for a replacement VP candidate, it is not the same matter. No one votes for VP or the electors for VP, the Vote is for a particular Presidential candidate and his/her running mate. One can’t vote R for Pres and D for VP.
Akuperma………..
Clinton as President will not be a disaster for Frum Jews as you claim.
Legal abortion, same sex marriage are already the law of the land. No one forces you to have an abortion or marry a same sex partner. The choice is merely available for those who want to do so.
Most Frum Jews in America live in Liberal states. For example the Equal Rights Amendment never was ratified and made part of the US Constitution, BUT it was made part of our state constitutions in NY, MA and CT (I’m not a member of the Jersey Bar so I didn’t bother learning their constitution).
Very little of US foreign policy affects your ability to live as a Frum Jew in the USA. I look forward to traveling to Cuba this winter…I haven’t been there since 1958. If I never get to Moscow or Tehran again, I don’t mind.
The change of President will have no affect on your religious rights..they are granted by the Constitution and the courts, not the Executive Branch.
Syag………
My post here is about the mechanical impossibility to remove and replace Trump on the ballots in 50 states plus territories and DC.
I also gave a shteck to the Republicans who nominated him.
My support of Secy Clinton is as the best choice of a candidate who can win the election…the choice is really only Clinton or Trump. The 3rd and 4th party candidates don’t have a chance.
BTW>>>>>>>>if you have read my posts this past year, I have made it clear that I personally know the Clintons since they were law students at Yale more than 4 decades ago.
I admit to being socially Liberal. I don’t live in a self imposed Ghetto. I live in the real America with people of all backgrounds. I don’t want school vouchers taking tax dollars to pay religious schools that do not provide basic education (math, English) requisite for graduating students to earn a living and not live on the public dole.
I would never want my daughters or granddaughters to have abortions, but that doesn’t mean I want laws requiring victims of rape or incest to bear unwanted children. The choice belongs to the people involved, not Congress. I’m old enough to remember the wealthy flying to San Juan for a weekend abortion, while the poor had the illegal/unsafe back alley abortions. Prior to Griswold v. CT a doctor could not prescribe birth control in Connecticut. How many of us have heard of or know frum women who are on Birth Control approved by their Rabbi and doctor for reasons of mental stability, not just convenience.
I don’t approve of the death penalty…3 words sum it up: Sacco and Venzetti. You can’t undo a wrongful execution. This doesn’t mean I don’t approve of ‘hard labor’ in prisons that should not be all about prisoner comfort. Prison is for punishment.
To sum it up: this year I prefer a very intelligent lady, who has served as a child and woman’s advocate, Senator and Secretary of State (whose husband cheated on her) to a charlatan businessman who has been married three times, committed adultery on the first two wives, has declared bankruptcy multiple times, stiffed workers and suppliers…and until it was convenient espoused the same liberal ideals as Secretary Clinton.
To be perfectly honest, in our current election system, if it requires 100 Million dollars in expenditures to win a $400,000 position the winner will owe payback and favors to many people.
Too late for replacing Trump on the ballots in most states. Early and absentee ballot voting has begun.
The Republicans picked a charlatan and now are suffering for their poor choice. Better the party members should suffer than the whole country if G-d Forbid this disgusting pig won the election.
Dump Trump…………..
That’s the mantra of sane Republicans.
You picked him, too bad…it’s too late to get a substitute candidate on the ballot in most states.
RebYidd23…………….
you serve pigeon soup at the seudas mitzvah for the redemption of the first born male………….
If you love soup and it’s not being served…you misyosoup
dovrosenbaum……….
You are correct it was NOT Danbury. It was an immediate suburb of New Haven. Even our LOR belonged (the clubs has a special clergy rate). 95% of the clubs members were Jews. My parents were founding members back in 1962. The other two country clubs in that suburb were about 75% Jewish.
Yehudayona…….
It’s a masseur. In the good old days every JCC and steam bath had one who gave rubdowns (massages) in their health clubs. You can still find this service at some JCCs as well as goyische Ys and Russian Bath houses.
I grew up in CT. We belonged to a country club, they employed a full time locker room attendant who also was trained to give massages. Nothing like a schvitz followed by a massage.
I wouldn’t even vote for Trump for dog catcher!
As mentioned in other posts, I am in local government here in CT. Our area schools are closed first day RH and YK. Teachers may use personal days for religious observance, NOT sick days. Sick days are for illness. If a known Jewish teacher attempts to use sick days for Yuntif observance they will be asked to provide a doctor’s note for the absence.
Unpaid time will be granted for religious observance. After all, the municipalities have to pay substitute teachers to cover classes when a teacher is out.
Joseph, a person entering the restaurant/bar does not have the right to stay until asked to leave. The CT Supreme Court defined a “Public Invitee”
“A public invitee is someone invited to enter or remain on land as a member of the public for a purpose for which the land is held open to the public.”
Thus the owners invitation to the public is to enter for the purposes of dining/drinking. The public is not holding an invitation to enter and try to convince the proprietor to change his business model.
You are correct that the owner should be contacted via phone or letter.
Popa……….
Note the specific 6 year program I attended at Penn. This was unique and while a Harvard MBA has gained cache in recent years 40 years ago it did not compare with Wharton.
I have no disdain for Harvard. I’ve stated before that a family member is a law professor there.
Illegal in many states including CT.
Selling blood was outlawed by many states in the early 1980s due the spread of Herpes, Aids among intravenous drug users who then sold blood to support their habit
Mashiach Agent
Who gave you authority to speak for all members of the coffee room? Your statement “better of the 2 which we would all say trump” is a LIE. Yet you in the same post accuse Secretary Clinton of lying. How ironic.
You don’t speak for me, I DON’T think Trump is the better of the two.
Only if you don’t regularly clean it.
Certainly no more tacky than Crushed velvet and tassles
Lilmod
A small removable memory card that can be used in devices such as digital cameras and then inserted and read by a computer
Geordie613
The definition as you present is the way it is taught the last 20 years in the USA. But back in the 1950s and 60s only the word Homonym was used in our schools.
I fully understand your menu. Our 28 year old is employed as chief steward on a Mega SuperYacht in the Med. Approx 1/3 of the crew are from South Africa. Last year, 6 came to stay with us for a week while touring USA on holiday. Made an authentic egte braaivleis that Sunday afternoon for the homesick boys. One of them used my smokehouse to make 20 lbs of Biltong to take back to the ship. All fall these goyim were eating kosher Biltong. Makes me yearn for JoBurg and Salisbury in the 1970s
Geordie……….
and when you speak of a Braai…I know it’s meaqt cooked on the grill as opposed to Brei….fried matza.
When I was a child we’d have called those words Homonyms, now they teach the kids that words that sound alike and are spelled differently are call homophones.
It’s enough to cause homophobia
huju…………..
My all time favorite quote of my late father (Z”L)
Fair? Who ever told you life is fair?
Yehudayona……………..
When we are members of an international Coffee Room it is ok to explain words that are unknown to those not in our own country. In this case, I’d wager 90% of Americans do not know what the word meant, while 50% would recognize the slang ‘vittles,’ especially those old enough to have watched TV western or the Beverly Hillbillies.
I expected that Joseph would have understood the word, the comment was specifically addressed to him.
Meanwhile, Lilmod expanded his/her English voabulary.
Actually, the Presidency is much less strenuous than the campaign. Far less travel with multiple stops in a day, trying to win the support of crowds. Much more one one one meetings with support staff having smoothed the way, medical staff in attendance in the White House and while traveling, better diet controlled by White House Chef, etc.
Lilmod
Victual(s) is an archaic English word for food and/or provisions. It was in common use in the English colonies in North America. In southern American slang it has been corrupted to the word ‘vittles’ meaning food.
To this day, food service establishments in the State of Rhode Island must display their “Victualling License”. Here in Connecticut they would have a food service permit.
Since a reference was made to food falling on the floor and Virtual reality, I put the reference in about Vicutal reality to see if anyone understood the term.
huju………….
The difference between used car salesmen and new car salesmen is that New Car dealers have to uphold certain standards to keep their franchises. If there are too many complaints to the manufacturer the franchise can be pulled.
Victual reality
Joseph…
If C”V a patient sued my nephew regarding dental work and the suit was for less than $5 million it would be defended by his malpractice insurance carrier, not an independent attorney.
I specialize in trusts, estates and family law and not be the ideal defense attorney in such a suit. That said I’d offer to review and explain all the legal papers to my nephew at no charge. I did set up the trust that bought all the dental equipment and leases it to the practice, as well as trusts for his children, advanced medical directives and wills, etc.
Used car salesmen have a bad reputation.
Because the law considers anything they say to induce to to buy the car as puffing (meaning they can’t be held to claims made) they stretch the truth.
Only what is reduced to writing in the 4 corners of the contract binds the seller.
So if you are told the car was only driven on Sundays by an old lady to drive to the market and actually that Mercury Grand Marquis was a livery vehicle, you lose.
As for mechanics they don’t care if they get you under the hood or in the trunk
This is a common problem. I’m not in Brooklyn and don’t share the same dentists. 9 years ago my dentist did a temporary repair to a front corner tooth. He told me that within 6 months I’d need, a post, pin and crown fro $6000. The temporary repair is still holding up. I can’t say the same for the dentist; his funeral was last week (aged 60).
In 1980 I needed a root canal, post and crown on a tooth all the way back in my mouth. I told the dentist (another city, another man) to put in a stainless steel crown as no one could see it when I opened my mouth. No need for porcelain or gold.
The next day brushing my teeth I see a gold reflection in the mirror. I had not yet rec’d the bill (the good old days when you didn’t pay before leaving the office.
The bill came at the end of the month and I was billed for a gold crown. I called the dentist to complain that I was specific that I wanted a stainless steel crown, not gold, and was not paying for it. He could replace it or eat the cost difference. He told me to tear up the bill and find a new dentist.
I filed a complaint with the CT licensing authorities. They got the records from the dental lab. I was billed for a gold crown that was actually gold colored base metal. The Dentist lost his license to practice in CT.
I no longer worry about my dentist, it’s my sister’s 2nd son. I don’t pay for dentistry, he doesn’t pay for legal work. 100% family discount.
Lightbrite
Your first question asks about inheriting a engagement or wedding ring from a family memebr who git divorced or had an unhappy marriage.
The inheritor has little say in inheriting. Ownership passes under the terms of the will or the laws of the state it there is no will.
Your question is really whether one should reuse an engagement or wedding ring in these circumstances?
Our family passes down diamonds for use in engagement rings, but never reuses the settings. Each kallah deserves a new setting made for her. We’ve never recycled wedding rings. There is a box in the vault with an accumulation of ancestral wedding rings, their value is strictly sentimental.
I don’t personally believe that any ‘bad luck’ or karma attaches itself to a stone that is reused. If you go to a jeweler to buy a engagement ring, unless the stone is cut to order or has a tracable serial number engraved you have no idea if it was previously owned by a consumer and reset for sale.
Sparkly…..Instead of retail pharmacies try the hospital pharmacies. Also, since retail pharmacy in many states such as CT have pharmacists doing things such as vaccinations, consider some short courses that will expand your know how, get certifications and licenses and make you a more desirable hire.
My almost 20 yo daughter is doing a BSRN then law school. She had a semester off between graduating HS in Late Jan and starting college in August. She did a CNA 10 week course and passed the state licensing test. She is way ahead of her BSRN classmates now that they have begin clinical work. She also works one shift per week at the University hospital for $23 hr while the work study kids get $8. She is home every Shabbos and takes an afternoon shiur for women
Sparkly…
are you the one studying to be a pharmacist?
If so, I’d get a job as a pharmacy tech on a chain pharmacy and get hands on experience. It’s not about the money, in the medical and allied professions hands on practical experience is invaluable and will give you a real edge up in getting your full time job after your education is complete
Health
Webster’s is a layman’s dictionary and is not a standard for trial. I would not be bringing an action on behalf of anyone who you may have libeled. It is not my area of practice.
A better definition and explanation when the word ‘criminal’ should be used is taken from an edition of Black’s Law Dictionary sitting on my bookshelves:
criminal
1) n. a popular term for anyone who has committed a crime, whether convicted of the offense or not. More properly it should apply only to those actually convicted of a crime. Repeat offenders are sometimes called habitual criminals.
Learning law doesn’t make you a lawyer, only passing the Bar Exam AND being admitted to practice makes you a lawyer.
You now accuse me of threatening you, That is a boldface LIE on your part. You owe me an apology and a public retraction. I never threatened any action against you.
BTW>>When one answers a civil suit with a counter-suit one had better be prepared to prove damages. You, who hides behind an internet handle would have no damages for which to seek compensation.
Your use of DemonCrat sounds like either an uneducated fool or an 11 year old. Sounds like you’ve listened to too much right wing hate radio.
I’ll not reply to you again, you are not worth my time. You like Trump have been caught lying.
Sparkly……….
No, I would not recommend it. NCSY is an organization that functions best for members who belong through their teenage years, not join in college. A newbie in college would feel totally out of place. It is not the purpose of the organization to serve that demographic.
In my day the MO organization serving college students was Yavneh (I don’t believe it exists anymore). Very,very few NCSY girls get married within a year of ending being a teen (and certainly most not to Yeshiva bochrim). You say you are more on the MO side, but you appear to be to the right of most MO.
I’m sorry you have not found the right group to volunteer in Kiruv efforts. I think you should look for a non-membership based organization who does not develop its own leadership so you will not be automatically excluded.
Try volunteering at events hosted by NJOP (National Jewish Outreach Program) they are a dot org, not dot com and you can google their website for contact info
Health….
I’m an attorney…labeling someone a criminal who has not been convicted of a crime and publishing it on line as you did is libel.
Yes I’ve heard of Vince Foster and service personnel killed in Libya. I also remember hundreds of marines killed in Beirut under Reagan. If you enlist in the military you go knowingly and willingly putting your life at risk.
As for a Secretary of State using a private email server: two words Colin Powell. Other words: President George Bush. This is a non-issue constantly brought up by talking heads and empty suits on the Trump campaign.
I am not convincing you to vote for Clinton, nor would I try, There is no way I’ll be voting for Trump. That said Trump will not win the electoral votes here in CT or in NY. (My prediction). I am not voting for Secretary Clinton because she is a Democrat, I’m voting for her because she is a better choice (IMO) for the USA than Trump.
I wish we had better choices this year, but as long as elections are financed the way they are, we never will have great choices. As my late father A”L always said: “anyone willing to spend 100 million dollars to chase a $400,000 job has to be getting some personal return for friends and family.” Gone are the days of patrician families such as the Roosevelts who were independently wealthy and dedicated their adult lives to public service, not personal enrichment and power grabbing.