cucumber

Then i guess you do not agree with Mitch Daniels, another possible Republican candidate. He says that in times like this when our economy is so bad, we have to put aside social issues for now and get ahead on one thing- fixing the economy. Social issues are nothing but a distraction at this point. While i am sure many republicans do not agree with him, he definitely has a point. Our debt is so high, it threatens the economic future of this country. While social issues are definitely important; in a crisis you have to do one thing- deal with the crisis. That should be the most important thing right now.

Pac-ManIs he pro-life and pro-(traditional) marriage? Those are my prerequisites to consider a candidate.

Are so your only prerequisites? What about pro-Israel, pro-economy, pro-school choice and all that?

yitayningwut

thats true. And finding a shidduch is as hard as krias yam suf. So it makes sense that it would be hard to get a psychologist that is right for you

Yes people who are abused often become abusive. However, people also become abusive by themselves (or else how did the chain begin?) so I don’t think we can say an abuser has necessarily been abused.

mw13 even if an abuser has not been abused there is something causing him to hurt another person. No one just hurts others for the fun of it. There is something in them that is making them unhappy and is leaching their confidence. Maybe they were neglected as a child or treated like they were dumb or useless. Or maybe something else happened to destroy their self-esteem. But whatever is was they are desperately unhappy and the only way they feel good is by exercising their power over someone weaker than they are.That is why abuse is a cycle. Unless it is stopped it always gets worse. Just like an alcoholic needs alcohol and a drug addict craves more and more drugs, an abuser needs to feel power and he needs it more and more, as each dose is less filling. Because the power masks their insecurity and inner feeling of worthlessness. If you feel good you don’t abuse. Abusers are mainly people who desperatley neeed help and cant get it. They cant possibly be happy because if they were they would have no need to make themselves feel good in this way.

Just as every person can make themselves into a good, even great person, every person can make themselves into bad person, or even a monster. We all have the ability to become a Godly saint, and we all have it within ourselves to become a monster. It’s just a question of who we choose to become.

MW13 yes we all have free choice. But no one can control the circumstances of their life. Someone who was brought up with abuse or who had his/her confidence destroyed by someone else could not control that. Sure he can choose what to do next and how to respond but his choice is not on the same level as someone brought up well and he is still not a happy person. Passing on the chain of abuse is wrong. But all that can’t change the fact the abuser is still an unhappy person who is suffering too.You cant simply say he badmiddositis.

eclipse the abusers are suffering?? yes they are. would a happy, emotionally healthy person be abusive? of course not. why should they? Its only unhappy, insecure people with no self-confidence who become abusive to make themselves feel good and powerful. No normal person feels good when they hurt other people. Hitler and Saddam Hussein were both crazy and so are most other dictators. Look at Gadhafi. He’s insane. They say psycopaths are some of the most lonely people on earth and they are also abusive people. Maybe that doesnt excuse what they do but they ARE still suffering also.

smart people can be abusive too ha ha ha ha. They just do it in different ways. In fact they can even use their knowledge of psychology to hurt people more. So I would say if someone is intelligent, not necessarily should you advise them to go to a psychologist.