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I hope no one is upset by these ideas; some are not my own and the ones that are were just theoretical thoughts, not a critique, CH”V on anyone or anything.
I once heard someone suggest that (other than a family wedding) only the spouse who is friends with the chassan or kallah should be invited and attend, as opposed to automatically inviting the other spouse, too.
Alternatively, perhaps, I wonder if a viable and more economical alternative to the current system is to make each sheva brachos, including the wedding itself, into a “mini-wedding” so that the overall cost would go down tremendously. Meaning, say immediate family and a few Rabbanim and very close friends at the actual wedding (seudah) and then one sheva brachos per “segment” of everyone else (chosson/kallah’s friends, parents’ friends, etc.)
This way, you could also book at least 3 weddings per night per hall, which should give the hall the same parnassa but cut the cost by a 1/3rd or more.
I don’t know the numbers, but I wonder is that “7-day wedding” would make the whole thing more meaningful for everyone; the chosson and kallah get to focus on one group each night, and the joy of the wedding would get extended to the entire 7 days.
I certainly have not “thought this through” and don’t claim it is a solid idea, but I am curious if anyone else has ever thought along these lines and if anyone has any other thoughts on why it would or would never work.
Eclipse, I hope no others ever experience the pain you eloquently convey and and I don’t mean to minimize your personal circumstances.
But there are women who do not understand that a healthy intimate relationship is the main glue that keeps a marriage together. While that doesn’t excuse what men do in response to a lack of that physical intimacy, the woman, in that case, if she reasonably could do better, whether in attitude or in deed, she is playing with fire by not doing what she should be doing.
Men also need to know the emotional needs of women, and be able to reasonably fulfill that, too. One leads to another the other leads to the first.
Rabbi Shafier, of The Shmuz, has an excellent “Nidah” series of audio shiurim. In one of those, he mentions how Yaakov Avinu should have been “head over heels in love” with Leah simply because he married her and had an intimate relationship with her. If I recall, it was only because Yaakov was the Ish Emes that he was and Lavan’s trickery so abhorred him, that this was able to override an otherwise natural (and this is also common medical knowledge) feeling of being emotionally bonded to Leah.
I may not have accurately repeated this portion of his shiur, as I listened to that shiur a number of years ago, but you can get it online and hear for yourself.
As mewho and deiyezooger said, just don’t lie about it. Money comes and goes, but once trust is broken, it is very difficult to repair.
In Shema, the common way I have seen children taught is “vi-aHAvta”. The correct way is “VI-ahavTA”. There is a difference in meaning between the two, and I was told one is not yotzei if one reads it the wrong way.
The common way of singing Adol Olam and Yigdal also have many mistaken emphases.
For example, “nosein larasha ra, kirishaso” should really be “nosein larasha, ra kirishaso”. Translated, “…He gives to the bad wicked one, like his wickedness” is incorrect. It should be (forgive the rough translation) “…He gives to the wicked one, ‘bad’ like his wickedness”.
And many others if you simply listen as they are sung.
Not to mention that the whole havara of many of these tunes including the ones for Anim Zemiros is almost completely incorrect as the songs typically emphasize the first syllable as is typical of American English instead of the last syllable of lihavdil Lashon Hakodesh; often, the meaning is changed and is still incorrect regardless of whether or not it actually changes the meaning of each word.
Someone’s got to redo all these tunes.
Charlie, the numbers are still a staggering contrast even with the 5 you added. And it would take many more to make it even close considering the vast proportional difference in total population numbers.
So let’s not be disingenuous.
I assume this came up due to one of the stories YWN posted today, the one about the Jewish German doctor who refused to operate on a patient who is seemingly a neo-Nazi.
I won’t repeat my comment I wrote there, but I think CantorEsq has a very good point and it seems silly to “punish” for atrocities that were committed 70 years ago but not for atrocities that were committed before then.
Clever, it was truly saddening to read your personal story, and I hope Hashem blesses you with happiness and success from here on.
I also am impressed and commend you that your attitude is to hope to one day be frum. Hashem certainty doesn’t give up, and haba litaher misayin oso; when one tries to better himself, he is granted special help from Hashem to do so.
A good and trustworthy Rabbi would definitely be a tremendous asset and sounding board and source of advice, IMHO.
In addition to “not judging Judaism by its members”, I wanted to touch on some of your points you made, as I have been reading the coffee room more than usual, myself, recently, and wanted to give you my impressions on what you wrote.
“1:New York is the end all be all to Jewish existence”
Having been in a number of communities around the country and beyond, I would say that New York definitely has an infrastructure that is unmatched elsewhere and there are realities that reflect that. There is also a certain influence that the uniquely dynamic and busy nature of New York has on everyone, and that is also not duplicated elsewhere, in my experience.
But, no, New York is not the be all and end all, and there is actually much more to even New York than the stereotypical Boro Park and Flatbush.
However, I think that people who grow up with everything within 2 blocks of their homes simply do not have the mindset of specifically getting to be familiar with other places. Whereas if you’re used to, say, getting meat from this city and your benchers from New York, you are much more likely to have a “global village” mindset than if everything is around the corner or a block away.
“2:Women are not to be trusted and should have their every breath monitored until they are married and then its their husbands problem.”
I’m not sure what you’re referring to, but I certainly hope that’s not the case. Young women are trusted to do chesed in various places, to go to school alone and/or with friends, among other “trust” placed in them. There may be odd cases in certain sects, but that’s certainly very far from being representative of observant Judaism.
“3: A child who maybe doesn’t fit in an exact mold of a community, school or even family is damaged and should be excommunicated to not damage the “untainted children””
I have personally seen the opposite, in more than one instance, and even if the child is (beyond) not Shomer Shabbos at that point. I believe parenting takes a tremendous amount of siyata dishmaya and some parents, when given this incredible challenge, R”L L”A, may have a hard time handling it. But please know there are lots of good people out there who do not at all do what you describe, and their kids ultimately become tremendous assets to society.
“4: Working is a last resort for men and only “learning boys” should be considered for shiduchim. Working boys get first crack at the bargain bin.”
I think this attitude (again, not at all a hard and fast rule) is slowly changing, and also I happen to know many “working boys” who have (as far as I can tell) spouses that anyone would be proud to have and, most importantly, that they are proud to have.
“5: Balei Tshuva are only a breath away from being not frum and should be avoided like a bomb about to go off. Converts should be viewed with skepticisim if not completely treated as pariahs.”
Again, I know countless examples where this is not true and where Baalei Teshuva are, in fact, treated with even more respect due to their impressive journey. The few converts I know are well-respected, too.
I guess the bottom line is that there are all types of people in this world, and I believe that while not everyone is perfect, our people have much to admire in each other.
Hatzlacha Rabba and all the best.
mw13, Thank you. I appreciate your kind compliment, even if I am not quite so deserving of it.
Wolf, I don’t believe any of them present themselves as being under the authority of any gadol/gedolim, nor as endorsed by the same.
However, HaModia does give me the impression that it is run by people who are in close connection to some unknown Torah institution (and its leader(s)) and are, therefore, more strict with what they write or don’t write, etc., while Yated seems to be more independent and run by the publisher’s personal hashkafa with, I imagine, some input from whomever he feels he should be shoel eitzah from. I do respect both, personally.
The Jewish Press, on the other hand, seems to do whatever the publisher feels is appropriate, which I also respect.
twisted:
You ignored the others who did post logical and coherent arguments (and did not answer them) but chose instead to focus on those who may have ventured beyond the line. You then used that as an excuse to ignore the legitimate position of the opposing side.
Your statement that “What you are fighting is the disease of creeping isms defended by insecure and frightened people.” is mainly a projection; in other words, you’re really looking at “yourself” (your position) in the mirror.
You seem to insist that those who believe these publications should not put in photos of women, in light of kol kevuda bas melech penima, as has been mentioned numerous times, are “insecure and frightened”.
You can come up with sevaras to eat treif, too, or for any aveira or “improper behavior” (the yetzer hara does it all the time, to our detriment). But that doesn’t make the aveira (or impropriety, as the case may be) go away.
Again, we are not radicals and women do appear in the public eye as needed and they live normal happy lives, BE”H, as they drive, work, run errands, etc.
But at the end of the day, a women’s dignity is clearly enhanced if she is not placed in the public eye. That is debatable only if one subscribes to “isms” like “feminism” and “women’s liberation”, which are quite contrary to our Torah. It is also debatable only if one is too “frightened” to submit one’s world-view to conform with, rather than CH”V bend, the Torah.
Some seem to feel that, essentially, it is better that a woman sacrifice some of her dignity so people can see her as a role model or for some other possibly noble purpose. But noble purposes do not override her dignity as a bas melech and, thus, that would seem counter-productive and ultimately, not the ratzon Hashem.
I respect Jakyweb’s position and have taken time to respectfully present my view with regards to Jakyweb’s points. But your comment seems disrespectful and condescending to those who do not agree with you.
First, there are exceptions to every rule.
The equivalent in women is probably 17 versus 20, or perhaps 18 versus 21, but that’s just an illustration and not an exact comparison.
Regardless, for most people, there is a tremendous amount of maturity that a young man gains between those 2 ages you mentioned, in the three years from 20 years old to 23 years old.
So, first and foremost, the difference is much emotional maturity.
However, that 3 years of additional learning and life experience should not be discounted either. That’s 3 years in a yeshiva or multiple yeshivos (multiple rabbeim, varying hashkafos, different inter-personal experiences, et al.) as well as, for some, college. And 3 summers working as a counselor or in an internship of some sort. Or perhaps not all of that.
But you don’t have any of that by the age of 20 (in most cases). But you could have it (including a college degree and the attendant work and discipline that requires) by the time you reach 23.
PY, I agree with you on this one; Hillel Leib, your story is a beautiful one and I appreciate you sharing it; may you have much nachas from your children and family.
Lomed Mikol Adam, the past is *not* irrelevant, but your assertion that “there is absolutely no option of dissolving the state” is.
Look at what Zionists themselves did to their own subjects in Gaza and other places. Using their own forces, they were able to take Gaza (and turn it into the savage mess it is today) and make it Judenrein with no loss of Jewish life. So there could theoretically be an organized population transfer if that were called for.
But that’s irrelevant. Even if the State of Israel were necessary, that would NOT imply any need to support it. There is such a thing as a necessary evil and there is also such a thing as shev vi-al taaseh.
I’m not saying either or both apply or don’t apply here. But any alleged reason for its continued existence is not a reason to make special misheberachs for any State.
re: Anon
I noticed, btw, that one of the above-mentioned papers will sometimes write the article author’s name in full (e.g. Jane Doe) and others will write only the first initial and last name (e.g. J. Doe).
My assumption, upon seeing this, is that by an unmarried woman they would use the full name while for a married woman they do not (this is only a guess, of course, because I do not know the authors), also to conform to this holy practice of not referring to a married woman by her first name.
Referring to someone by their first name conveys a certain familiarity and since a married woman is an erva and one must distance one’s self from an erva, that, perhaps, is why we do not address a married woman by her first name.
I’m not sure if that’s what anon was referring to above, but I still think a letter to the editor is the best way to find out.
anon, I think that this should be explained by the publishers so that people do not misunderstand.
I also think the picture issue is more intuitive, and unless people insist on keeping their indoctrination of secular values(and on a higher plane than their Torah observance), then it is understood that omitting pictures of women is, at least, a good thing to do.
Jaky, there are women’s magazines like Yaldah (teen girls, anyways) that definitely show pictures of women/girls. If there are none for adult women, then why don’t you approach your favorite publisher to start one?
Besides, why would you specifically *want* to be seen in public? Especially if one is a woman? Your quote “So girl’s role is to work hard and somehow not be seen in public?” seems to harbor this misogynistic view that men allegedly have over women. Again, it is for your own dignity as a bas melech, not to put you in an undesirable role which it is not. If you don’t/can’t believe that, why don’t you (ask a Rav and also) write a Letter to the Editor asking why their policy is to not show pictures of women. Perhaps they can explain better.
Again, I see no loss in not showing a woman’s picture. I already mentioned that anyone, male or female, can take photos. And that you are free to publish a magazine or newspaper with pictures of women in it. And that, presumable, they would, too, in theory.
Wolf, you seem to have ignored the rest of my statement and so it further seems that you simply wish to poke fun at this Torah view (there may be others that disagree, granted).
So I will quote from my own previous post, the part which you ignored (same paragraph as the one you quoted):
“Please don’t make a mockery of the discussion; any guest who comes to a home will obviously see the woman of the house over the course of the meal; but that doesn’t mean her shabbos table should be broadcast on national TV (Shabbos aside). Do you see the difference?”
Again, magnitude *is* a factor. People in my community who go out for a Shabbos meal will definitely see the lady of the house at the meal. But these same people will not see that meal (nor that lady of the house) photographed for the newspapers (Shabbos aside). There is an obvious difference as it relates to the woman’s kavod.
If you can’t see why one might be more sensitive by the latter instead of the former then I am afraid we have lost the ability to have an intellectual discussion (though I suspect, in your case, that intellect is not at all an issue; rather, lack of respect for the opposing position and, most of all, intentional mockery, seems to be the cause).
Wolf, there is a tremendous difference between hanging a picture of your mother in your home and publishing her picture in a mass-circulation newspaper. Please don’t make a mockery of the discussion; any guest who comes to a home will obviously see the woman of the house over the course of the meal; but that doesn’t mean her shabbos table should be broadcast on national TV (Shabbos aside). Do you see the difference?
Having said that, *perhaps* it is, in truth, more dignified for the woman that her picture not be there. I don’t know what the answer is to that, but ask you LOR if you’re interested in knowing you’re for sure doing what’s right. Personally, I don’t recall seeing any pictures of women in any of the Roshei Yeshiva’s homes that I have been to, but perhaps one cannot extrapolate from that.
I am a little amused by the whole “erased from history” argument. Again, nobody forbade taking a woman’s picture, and many people of all sects and types do so. So much for worrying about preserving history. But that doesn’t mean the pictures have to be published in general circulation newspapers. And even if historical record were a concern, it still does not override the kavod due to a bas melech, so it would be a moot point, anyways.
Ladies, I’m sorry this is so sore a point for you.
Perhaps someone should make a magazine for women only and show as many pictures of women as you want. This way, children can see positive role models, as you suggest. But it is still not proper to do so in a general-circulation publication, despite the benefits it may have.
And yes, it is for the woman’s dignity. Do you really think they want to have to crop every picture?
Incidentally, I hope you have some real in-the-flesh examples of women to emulate, and do not need a newspaper to provide the only image of a woman worth emulating. Regardless, perhaps a women’s only magazine would be a solution to that issue.
Regarding the person who misinterpreted the “ata yadati ki Isha yifas mareh at”, he was roundly rejected in that thread for his erroneous conclusion. That’s not a reason to reject the Torah perspective of Kol Kevuda Bas Melech Penimah or this particular application of it.
Anticipating some of this reaction, I specifically wrote that women drive cars, work in real jobs and generally participate in society. But that doesn’t mean we should increase that exposure to include putting their pictures in general-circulation newspapers.
I don’t understand why people are so worked up about not showing pictures of women (properly dressed). While that idea did not occur to me, personally, I do think it is an excellent policy.
There is no need for your wife or daughter to be on display to the entire world. Kol kevuda bas melech penima; it is a compliment to the ladies that the newspaper values their dignity and doesn’t display their picture to the whole world, not CH”V an insult. If you don’t like that, make your own photo albums with your wife and daughter(s) and enjoy them. They’re yours to show to whomever you want.
But you can’t deny that it is more kadosh vitahor to not show a bas melech in any form in a public forum such as a newspaper. And there is no journalistic value in showing the picture of a woman, either (not that this would override the previous point, but it so happens that this is the case). So why show pictures of women?
The answer is that some are influenced by the degenerate society in which we live and have lost the sensitivity of what a woman is as a bas melech whose kavod is penimah. We just read last week about Sarah Imeinu, “Hinei BaOhel” – that was the ideal. Yes, women need to drive cars, carpools, and also participate elsewhere in modern society by working, running errands, etc (unlike, lihavdil, what our “cousins” do to their women). But there is no need for pictures of women to be shown in a newspaper.
That joke was highly inappropriate and hurtful (I’m sure).
I commend you for your Noachide lifestyle and wish you the best in raising and caring for your children.
Nobody seems to be arguing that we shouldn’t seek the welfare of anyone in Israel. Everyone, including the great man who is reviled by Zionists, the Satmar Rav, wants all Jews to be doing well, as evidenced by the story quoted above.
But that is not a reason to say a special mishebeirach. As another poster correctly commented, if you don’t say a weekly mishebeirach for the collective cholim in your local hospital, does that mean you don’t care about them?
The truth is, from the reverence ascribed to Zionism by its adherents, I would think that those people do, in fact, care about the medinah and its agents (who live in a land that Hashem gives “extra protection” to) more than the local cholim who (also) truly need their tefillos.
Again, just because someone is in a makom sakana or any other difficult situation, that doesn’t mean that they deserve a special mishebeirach and not be included in the general tefillos as general members of klal Yisrael. Only because you (incorrectly) ascribe special holiness to the fallacy of Zionism do you feel that they deserve an extra tefilla or two.
PY viseyato: Zionism has been abject failure for a number of reasons. The greatest military in the region is *worthless* if the citizens are not protected from the savages who live there. The horrific carnage CH”V R”L L”A that went on there for years is absolutely unacceptable; in fact, the loss of even one Jew s unacceptable and if your whole raison d’etre is to provide a safe haven for Jews yet these savages were able to spill so much pure blood of our brethren under your protection, then you have failed miserably in your goal.
As well, the point of greatly magnified Arab hatred is one you did not address (because, as a Zionist, you can’t). Things like the Kuran (which does contain much anti-Jewish sentiment and more) and other examples you brought do not translate to the reality of what occurred on the streets of Yerushalayim under Zionist rule and how the Jews live even now under Zionist rule with fences and ultra-security everywhere, etc. The Arabs had their Kuran for over a thousand years, but only once their hatred had been inflamed due to the entire Zionist enterprise, which began well before the actual founding of the State in 1948, did this result in the tremendous increase in hatred, which had such deadly repercussions R”L L”A.
Jews also lived in Arab countries for centuries and did not have anything near this extreme level of hatred directed at them. That’s historical record. Granted, they were dhimmis, second class, etc. and the Arabs did not love them nor shower them with flowers. But it was nothing like what the Arabs have done post-Zionism’s founding.
Of course these savages have no right to murder as they did; that should be obvious to anyone (except, it seems to the nations of the world). But the Zionists were foolish in doing what they did as they knew they were dealing with savages yet their only concern was their State.
So the whole Zionist fallacy is simply not justifiable just because you can have yeshivos and seminaries and access to the Kosel or whatever other wonderful accomplishments the Zionists did achieve. Because it’s not worth sacrificing Jewish lives for any or all of that. Period. That’s the cold hard truth as I understand it.
This “lesson” is wrong. Even for Yichidei Segula, IMHO.
First, there is no mefareish that I know of who says anything like this.
Second, even if something along those lines were to some extent true for our holy Avos and Imahos, Avraham and Sarah lived in an entirely different generation and are in a completely different league than any of us today. So no direct comparison can be drawn in this regard.
Third, there is a pshat I saw (i don’t recall where) on “Afilu sicha kalah bein ish liIshto magidin lo…” that this means if one engages in this proper and holy conversation with one’s wife then even this “mundane” speech is brought as a CREDIT for him. Perhaps it is tzarich iyun, but that certainly seems that “married dates” and “stam shmoozing” are a (very) good thing, though within appropriate limits of course.
Third, reality dictates otherwise. There are numerous lessons throughout Bereishis and throughout the Torah of how much Hashem values shalom. Since living like normal human beings, but without violating any issurim nor even the spirit of any issurim, is marbeh shalom, then reality (and logic) dictate that this is the appropriate way to conduct one’s self, and not a way that reduces shalom even if it allegedly emulates the avos hakedoshim.
Having said that, there are limits and there are mussar concepts like prishus and others which may faintly hint at what the OP wrote. But this must be approached with extreme caution and with the guidance of a wise Rebbi or Rav, and not on one’s own due to a svara that if it was good for Avraham Avinu (assuming that was pshat) then it’s good for me. And one must be certain to not cause tzaar to one’s spouse, CH”V.
re: HomeOwner
As righteous as their cause may have been, you’re watching people who do not have the gadlus nor the sensitivity of bnei Avraham, Yitzchak viYaakov.
Furthermore, they are actors who are being paid to convey a particular set of emotions and reactions. And that goes from the screen to your eyes to your soul.
And that lack of sensitivity (among other things) is bound to have an effect on you, as does everything in our seviva.
At the end of the day, one should filter what one allows into one’s body so that only purity and good is even brought up for consideration; that goes for all senses: sight, sound, taste, etc.
I can’t tell you it’s assur, but I can tell you that it makes no sense to make yourself a lesser person as a result of watching it.
There’s more to it than giluy arayos.
I think what you refer to comes from the unique lav of lo sikrivu ligalos erva, meaning don’t come close to transgressing this sin, as opposed to others where the Torah simply states to do or not to do something.
One issue, for example, is that music has a unique power and it connects to the soul, so to speak. Therefore, one would obviously not want to hear music that was not made and performed by as pure a neshama as possible.
And an issue that concerns both music and movies is that everything we see or hear has an impact on us. So even if the movie (or song) in question does not have a blatant tznius/arayos problem, it’s essentially impossible that the song/movie’s influence will be 100% in keeping with the Torah’s hashkafa, and, therefore, listening/watching it is not a simple thing. IMHO.
re: theprof1
This does not mean one should not give a legal name other than the Lashon Hakodesh “real name”. Rather, one should, in that view, be known by his “real” name. That would, then, allow the malach to look out for him. Again, this story you mentioned does not imply any problem with merely having an English name, only that one should use his “real” name.
You can still give your kids English names as their legal even if they go by their lashon hakodesh/”real” names on a daily basis.
There are still good reasons to do so, such as the unfortunate reality that we have not yet been redeemed and are, therefore, in galus. Even if it is a more “tolerant” and “multi-cultural” one, including for those of us blessed by Hashem to live in the medina shel chesed.
Regarding the earlier “zona” comment. I did not CH”V intend to imply that a skirt that’s too short means the wearer should be labeled a zona. That is clearly not true as there are obviously many levels of dress between tznius and zona and besides it would still be a terrible thing to call a bas yisrael so I was in no way implying that.
My point was, as I wrote, that a woman has no right to violate tznius in any way (whether prutza, zona or any other level) just because she feels the need to make herself more attractive for her husband. Tznius certainly does allow a woman to make herself attractive to her husband (when appropriate), but that does not mean she can dress in a non-tznius manner in the street; she obviously may not.
And if the husband senses this is what’s happening, he obviously should inform her that he appreciates her thought and consideration for him, but he prefers she dress fully modestly in public as required by halacha.
While I agree that men should be very clear with their wives as to what is acceptable and what is not, the excuse that the husband wants her to look good is not an excuse for her to dress inappropriately and it cannot, therefore, shift the blame to the husband if they both know better.
In other words, if both know very well that it is wrong to behave and dress like a zona, then she can still dress differently at home than in public. But in public (and in private, too, for that matter), her obligation is to dress like a bas melech whose kavod is reflected from within, no matter what anyone else thinks or feels about it.
No, they should not be made at a loss, and I did not suggest they be produced in such a manner.
My point, however, remains they are making these vaccines as part of a for-profit enterprise, and therefore the allegedly lower margins (especially given the higher volume sold) are not a reason to trust the vaccine makers that any vaccine is therefore safe and appropriate for all. Regulatory agencies must do their job and one should consult with a reliable doctor regarding the best course of action/schedule.
“Finally, profit margins are incredibly low for vaccine manufacturers, who are basically distributing the vaccine out of their desire to be good corporate citizens. They would make a lot more money by investing their resources elsewhere.”
I find that assertion very difficult to believe. Any alleged lower profit margin must certainly be made up for by the sheer volume of vaccines they sell.
As this is a capitalist society and these are public corporations who are accountable to their share-holders, I have no doubt the vaccine manufacturers are in this business for money, not kindness, and therefore must be subject to the same scrutiny as any health-care business should be, and not be automatically trusted due to their alleged goodwill.
Essentially, everyone relies on governmental regulatory agencies to ensure these vaccines are in fact, safe and appropriate.
May Hashem watch over and protect His children.
The achdus and chesed is nice (and is in abundance in both Eretz Yisrael and, lihavdil, in Chutz LaAretz), but if you’re at the stage of raising children, then you have to know the chinuch options of the place you choose to live in.
And unless you’re independently wealthy, you and/or your spouse will likely need a job wherever you choose to live.
Hatzlacha Rabba in your decision.
Disclaimer: I disclaim any and all responsibility for anything and everything in this post.
It’s been a while since I started wearing lenses, and I’ll assume you’re referring to soft contacts, as opposed to Rigid/Gas-Permeable lenses, which are different.
Basically, wash your hands with soap and then rinse your hands, carefully, with a special emphasis on the fingertips. Then, put plenty of saline solution on your fingers. Take the lens and rinse it with a little saline. Then, put a drop or three of saline into the lens, if you can swing it (this will lubricate it as it goes on to your eyes, rather than the lens immediately sucking moisture from your eyes, though it depends how dry or moist your eyes usually are).
Now that the lens is ready (the edges should NOT flare outward, by the way; if they do, the lens is probably inside out), place it on to your index fingertip and bring it close to the eye it will be applied to. When it’s within range but before you’ve batted it away with your eyelashes, look up while lightly pulling your lower eye-lid to expose the lower “white” part of that eye. Place the lens on that white area, then release your eyelid as you slowly look down. This will move the lens on to the center of your eye, where it belongs.
Once the lens is in place, blinking is essential to keeping your eyes and lenses moist; you may, anyways, need to carry rewetting drops, which are much more expensive than saline solution, though saline works just as well.
I believe my Rov does not point to the sefer with his pinky nor with any other finger.
646, as recently as 100 years ago in Europe, people commonly married at age 12. From that perspective, marrying off a 9 year old of the times past who was equivalent (or better) in every way to our 19 year olds, seems much more reasonable.
The implication that the Torah would condone a marriage that is detrimental to either party, is an abhorrent one, at best.
rabbiofberlin, I’m still curious where you got your semicha from.
Your responses to this post-seminary young woman seem, to me, misleading.
Music has a powerful effect on the Neshama; that is not debatable. Your point about how the gedolim must be wrong because so many people became religious through R’ Shlomo Carlebach Z”L is fallacious; IF, and (since I do not know either way) I emphasize, IF he was incorrect in his methods and his music was deemed by the rabbanim to be inappropriate to listen to, THEN no amount of good that comes out of it makes it worth listening to it.
Since you seem to have the same false notions about Zionism, I’ll bring Zionism as an example. The Torah greats came out almost uniformly and quite vehemently against Zionism and its state, and with the benefit of hindsight and history we see clearly (if we choose not to pull the wool over our own eyes) just how correct they were that Zionism was and is a massive disaster for the Jewish people, on many levels, despite the “silver linings in the cloud” (and, if history and facts are your guide, that’s really all they are, at best).
Put briefly, a mitzva HaBaah BaAveirah, is….an Aveirah.
As far as the girls coming out to greet the young men on Tu BiAv and Yom Kippur, it wasn’t a singles bar scene, I can assure you. Practically speaking, our personalities, interests and hakpados are so much more complex today than they were then, that a gathering like that described in the mishna would seem to be a waste of time and, instead, serve to provoke taava, CH”V, rather than promote marriage.
I happen to agree that rather than running after kol koreis, one should follow Pirkei Avos, “Asei licha Rav”, and direct one’s inquiries to that Rav.
Ksiva VaChasima Tova to all of Klal Yisrael.
I think the writer’s points are excellent, though he is obviously not talking to everyone. If you know you are going to be in chinuch, and you won’t need a degree of any sort AND your rebbi tells you to sit and learn all day, that’s one thing.
But if you’re simply going to Yeshiva, do not have a plan to go into avodas hakodesh, and have no clue how you’ll support your family after you get married, you are probably very well advised, with the personal advice of your rebbi, to obtain at leaat a bachelor’s degree, or do a BTL/masters in whatever, as this is a basic hishtadlus (though only Hashem can guarantee) in being able to support a family, BE”H.
Pashuteh Yid, Nobody in this forum (or elsewhere, as far as I’ve seen) ever said the Israeli goverment wanted to blow up shuls and yeshivas, though if you speak to the administrators there (and listen to the ones who come to collect here), the government seems to be doing whatever it can, financially, to shutter those mekomos hakedoshim.
But that was not really why I labeled Zionists “Macharivei Torah”. A few select reasons might be the following: The early Zionists directly and intentionally stripped their newly acquired citizens of as much Yahadus as they possibly could, using various wicked means. ViRabbim Od KaHeinah ViKaheinah. Those early citizens’ children and grandchildren are so far removed from Judaism, all the while being born and bred in a nominal Jewish State. Is that not enough of a tragedy? Was there not enough of a loss of Torah from that alone?
In any event, a good Zionist was quoted as having said that “Anti-Semitism will become our friend…a useful tool”, meaning, he would hope for Anti-Semitism so he could use the EXPECTED SYMPATHY GAINED AFTER THE SHEDDING OF INNOCENT JEWISH BLOOD, G-D FORBID, to use in creating their State. Another Zionist said, “One cow in Palestine is worth more than all the Jews of Europe.” Yet another prominent Zionist said during WW II, “If I had a choice of saving all the Jews [from the Nazi death camps] and bringing them to another country and saving only half and bringing them to Eretz Israel, I would undoubtedly choose the latter.” That was then, a matter of historical record. And now? The whole suicidal “peace process”, a folly unparalleled in recorded history? And the brutalization and expulsion of its citizens in Gaza, who are still homeless, depressed, jobless and struggling with other assorted related issues years later? Much of that is on YouTube, so you don’t even need to study history to learn about the modern-day atrocities. Does the above not make those responsible for that, “Machrivei Torah”, CH”V?
If, after understanding the above (and more), you’re still able to wax poetic about how the medina is so concerned with each yachid (really? when, as widely reported, it let a Druze soldier guarding Kever Yosef bleed to death on the battlefield when they suddenly and cowardly withdrew and allowed the Arabs to deface and disgrace that holy site) and feel that Israel’s great advances in technology, science and other fields are more important than the above and that the existence of the many Yeshivos and shuls is somehow a great credit to Zionism as opposed to them having their own motivations, then I suppose we are dealing with different morals, or maybe just different ground rules, so to speak.
Of course, as you correctly imply, Jews are free to be religious Jews in Israel, and the Israeli government is certainly not like the communists who outright denied the Jews the opportunity to worship, nor like the others you mentioned that persecuted Jews just because of their religion. Nor does the government love its religious Jews, either, of course. But, again, there is much, much more to the story, so a comparison based on that alone would lie somewhere between simplistic and false.
With all due respect, it is not I who has been force-fed a diet of anything (unless you consider basic historical knowledge and an open mind, to be “force-feeding”). You, however, Pashuteh Yid, as an Israeli, cannot seem to see past whatever lifestyle you maintain there, to the many wrongs that were perpetrated there on our fellow Jews by their fellow Jews, in a nominal Jewish State.
Incidentally, that your fellow citizens are, for the most part, happy, like you claim (despite half of their children living below the poverty line, and in such an advanced country, to boot) is a testament to the gadlus of the Am HaNivchar, not to their Zionist rulers. Since you live there, I am not denying your reason to be makir tov to the Zionists under whose protection you live. But, again, in the balance of things, I would place them, overall, far to the opposing side of machzikei Torah. And nowhere have I called it sinah, and as I mentioned above, it is certainly not for chinam. That’s to set the record straight.
As to your question: aren’t there lots of shuls and yeshivos there? Yes. Does the Israeli government deserve any special credit for that? I don’t think they have done anything particularly praiseworthy, and I do think that the ever-increasing lack of funding is one that raises questions, to say the least.
While, in light of the above and more (like the gedolim’s almost unanimous call against the State’s establishment), I would, therefore, certainly disagree that this “gift” is one worth dancing for joy over (since doing so would be, at best delusional, despite the silver linings in the cloud that undeniably exist), however, I do join with you in hoping that all of our people come together in serving Hashem and bringing the redemption speedily in our time.
We could also (but most of us would not have the courage to) add Medinas Yisrael as one of the greatest Macharivei Torah in recent history and in the present. ViKal Lihavin, despite the welfare state that is gradually disappearing in there.
Those who live in Israel and benefit from them do owe them hakaras hatov for that; but let’s be quite clear: An American Jew owes hakaras HaTov, gratitude, to the United States of America, under whose protection, and on whose land, that Jew lives. That same America Jew owes NOTHING to the State of Israel, the Palestinian Authority, Turkey, or any other foreign sovereignty, unless that person has benefited from that State.
The comparison to food is a bit incongruous. Smoking, unlike eating, when performed as directed, is deadly. Eating is healthy and, in fact, vital, when performed as directed.
That doesn’t mean that over-eating is healthy or justifiable. But since, unlike food, even the first cigarette is unhealthy, smoking is, therefore, the clear “bad guy” of the two.
Also, flatulence aside, what you eat will have no effect on anyone else. What you smoke, however, will have an effect, and can even cause physical harm to someone else, aside for making them uncomfortable.
I don’t know what office those girls worked in, but I think the proper reaction is to ask him to stop, and, if he doesn’t, to avoid the steady second-hand smoke exposure by quitting on health grounds (and get unemployment, BTW, presumably, though I am simply guessing since I do not know the laws).
For all the guys who think they’ll stop when they date, once the fantasy wears off and/or any pressures kick in, the smoking will be extremely tempting, and I know of people who try (laughably unsuccessfully, of course) to hide their smoking from their wives, and others whose wives simply have to put up with it (with all the discomfort and dangers to themselves and their kids therein) because their addicted husbands won’t help themselves.
Hashem Yishmor.