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WIY-where does this person live? I may have spare time on my hands..
*tell them
(sorry, proofread it a little late!)
Hi everyone! I’d like to chime in with my 2 cents about the above topic: Im 21, in shidduchim, and have to agree with hockey_fan. When people come over to me and ask, “learning or working”, I telling them, sorry if you want a one word answer, I cannot talk to you. Because you know what? I’m not looking for a job title and I’m not looking for a Yeshiva, I’m looking for a person! Lemme hear about the person, and whatever way he is best serving Hashem, then perfect!
“They only really marry other CC families and stuff like that.”
LIVEandLEARN- I don’t think you should make such a blanket statement about everyone in Chofetz Chaim. My family is not a “Chofetz Chaim family” and I have gotten plenty of “yesses” from guys from there.
MiddlePath, are there any clones of you around? More than one girl should be worthy of getting a husband like yourself! It’s so refreshing hearing you speak the way you do.
A?
I got one!!!! Xavier (it’s a city in kansas)!!!
+10 4 me!!!
yea im sorry guys i made a couple mistakes. it can be for any amount of time it does not have to be a whole day and I think it has to be at least an hour. it doesn’t mean only spending time with your family but with everyone and everything. your friends and other important people. but look on the ohr naavah website for exact details. oh and it is oct. 2
sugergirl…amazing just posted a few posts ahead of you. Look up 🙂
I personally am pro anyone being a shadchan! This past year, I set up two of my friends. None of them worked out, but I did get a yes from both sides (which could quite awhile!) and one went out twice! There are no official ‘rules’. You generally call the boys side first, tell him (or his parents) a little about the girl, and send them her resume. I worked with both people I set up and knew the guys so I told the girls about the guys first just to see if it would practical to call the guys.
Good luck with it all!
bombmaniac, the Jewish Press pays its writers that write in the teens and twenties talk section of their paper. In case you ever wanted to write for a Jewish publication too…
I rememeber when my sister needed to pay a bumch of people some small cash, she wrote a nice piece, sent it in, and she was debt free! (and her friends were happy they got their money 🙂
so right
I see what youre saying, but unfortunately, I dont think thats how it works these days. Obviously there are B”H many men who dexerve to sit and learn because they have the desire and the will to do so. And that should definately be applauded. However, many people are saying that that is what they are doing–and then you look behind the scenes and find out theyre learning just beacuse they want to find a good shidduch. And then they sit in the coffee room for three hours during their mid, afternoon and late afternoon break. Meanwhile, their wives are slaving away, working full time, taking care of a brood of children, and expected to have a ive course meal eith hot cinnamon danishes on the tanle for their husbands when they come home after a long day of learning.
Like I said, hopefully this is a very small minority, but it is scary to think – especially when youre in the Parsha – what type of boy the one described to you really is.
From my experinces speaking with my many single friends, this is the type of guy they’re mostly all looking for. I think it’s becoming more achknowledged that it’s just not feasible on a one person salary these days-especially when the salary is coming from the female.
When people ask me what I’m looking for, I tell them I’m interested in who the person is-not a title (learning 1-3, 5-7 years etc). What he does during his free time and how he values his Torah lifestyle is more important that how long he’s in the Bais for.
Happy birthday
popa_bar_abba-i cant. I know too much about the dangers of smoking, that when I see a cigarette in a “eshiv bachur’s” hand, he image of a real bachuris erased. In my mind, a cigarette in one hand and a Gemara in the other dont go hand in hand.
I can not stand people that smoke. Whenever I see a yeshiva bachur with nice Middos, learning sincerely etc I “shep nachas.” However, the second he takes out a cigarette, my entire image of him chenged.
I feel like screaming to these guys: “Good luck finding shidduchim because there aren’t that many girls out there who are interested in marrying a smoker!!”