Lilmod Ulelamaid

Usually it is. It usually means that they are starting to identify more Jewishly and no longer want to be called by a goyish name. Unless you have reason to believe it’s coming from somewhere else (no idea what that can be, unless they are criminals and the law enforcement is after them and they are trying to hide their identity or something – but otherwise, I think that you can assume it’s a good sign.)

California – Los Angeles

Florida – Boca Raton

Wisconsin – Milwaukee

I guess they do the raffle before Pesach, and you are eligible as soon as you make the commitment.

“They should make the prize a free sheitel.”

Why – so they can burn it with the chometz? Maybe it should be 400 shekels worth of free non-sheitel hair coverings. That would make a bit more sense.

I once was passing by the shopping center and I saw they were showing an anti-sheitel video, so I was curious and stopped to watch. Funnily enough, I was the only female watching (don’t worry – I stood in the back).

Someone who works in one of the supermarkets came out and asked the guy who made the video if he could make a video about not stealing shopping carts since that is assur according to everyone.

So I didn’t stop wearing a sheitel but I started returning shopping carts to the supermarkets. So I guess the video accomplished something.

I saw a sign at a busstop yesterday that anyone who takes a kabala not to wear a sheitel outside for 4 days during the month of Nissan (2 days during Pesach plus 2 other days) can be entered in a raffle for 400 shekels worth of Pesach products.

I was considering entering – I’m so Frum that I NEVER wear a sheitel even in my house!! So I am definitely qualified to enter 🙂

Joseph, maybe you can start something like this in the US.

I have two answers to the op:

1. Two people can ask the exact same question but be asking entirely different questions. In other words, the words may be the same but they are coming from two entirely different places, and a good mechanech understands what the person’s real question really is.

My mother is bt and one of the main hashpaos on her (both for becoming Frum and for making aliyah) was her 7th grade sunday school teacher. She happened to see him at the Kosel several years ago, and he was shocked to discover that she had become Frum and made aliya. She asked him why he was surprised, and he said, “because you used to ask so many questions.”. She was like, “Why do you think I was asking questions?”

The moral of the story is that sometimes someone could be asking questions in a way that sounds like the Rasha in the Haggadah but that isn’t really where they are coming from. Many of today’s at-risk kids could be asking questions that sound like attacks but are really coming from a place of pain and confusion and a desire to be part of things (as opposed to the Rasha who did not want to be part of things).

The Rasha was deliberately attacking. He had nothing in common with most kids at risk of today. The words may sound the same, but they are coming from a completely different place. Before you can decide how to respond to each son, you have to know which son he is. You can only do that if you look into his heart, into what is behind his words, and not merely the words themselves. (I don’t have a Hagadda in front of me, but don’t two of the sons actually use the same words?)

Answer #2: Sometimes, there are people who need a sharp response. That doesn’t take away from the “ahavas chinam”. Being sharp or strict does not have to be a contradiction to love. I knew a girl who was learning in a certain program in Israel. She was from a modern background and had a strong personality and used to phrase her questions/statements in ways that were less than appropriate. Her teacher/head of the program understood that she was someone who needed a “hakheh es shinav” approach. This was despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that she really was sincere.

He understood that this was the approach that she needed (because of the way she expressed herself) and that this is what would work for her. And he was right. She very much appreciated his approach and she grew from it, and at the end of the year, he was the teacher whom she had the hardest time saying goodbye to.

Point #3: I think that the difference between today and the time when the Hagadda was written is that today most people are very emotionally fragile and that’s why for many people today, the strong approach doesn’t work.

But that doesn’t mean c”v that the Torah changed and that what it says in the Hagada doesn’t apply today. Then and now, there were different types of people who needed different responses. Today, there may be less people who need the strong approach, but there is still a place for it, if one knows when and how to do it.

For example, many people do use it when dealing with adult political leaders who are trying to uproot the Torah, and it seems to me that at least in some of those cases, it is the right approach.

Arizona – Phoenix

Massachusetts – Boston

Pennsylvania- Scranton

The idea that the masculine form of a word is used when referrring to the general population and that women are unique and hence have their own terminology that applies to them and them alone comes from Loshon Hakodesh and therefore from Hashem.

Since it is from Hashem, there is no reason for anyone to be upset about it. But if it were to bother anyone, logically, it should be the men who are bothered by it and not the women.

The only reason why any women (as well as male feminists) are bothered by it is because they assume that women are always being prejudiced against (I know that’s not a word, but it should be), and therefore any time there is any distinction showed between the genders, they assume it’s putting down women.

Which is both ridiculous and wrong!!! However, I understand why someone who has not had the privilege of growing up with Torah hashkafa would think so.

It is our very differences that make us unique and special.

Oy, this doesn’t sound very good 🙁 What happened? I thought you were going to try to find another school. Are you going to try to look for a school for next year?

I’ll try to keep an ear out, but I don’t know how likely I am to hear of anything. What do you know how to do in terms of computers/office work?

Have you tried OORAH? They are usually looking to hire.

Yekke2 -nicely expressed!

“There are a notably larger proportion of older single never-married girls than older single never-married boys.”

That’s what many people think, but I’m not sure if it’s true or not. It seems to me that there are plenty of guys around.
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The Torah is for everyone and it has to be possible for everyone to have a part in it even it’s difficult in some cases.

“Ive met people who experienced a Shabbos and felt inspired , but when they went home, they were isolated on Shabbos (They lived too far away from a shul and lived with non-religious people and were not always able to go away for Shabbos and could not move) It was doomed to fail”

That’s not a failure at all!

1. They kept Shabbos one week!!! Do you realize how amazing that is? Do you know how different their portion in Olam Haba will look now???? Do you have any idea how priceless that is!!!!

2. They were inspired. Now they feel more positively towards Torah and Hashem. Maybe they will be more likely to daven to Hashem the next time they need something, maybe they will express gratitude to Hashem, maybe they will put on Tefillin when the Chabad van comes around, maybe they will be nicer to the Frum family who moves next door. Maybe their children or grandchildren will imbibe their positive feelings towards Yiddishkeit and become Frum. Or maybe their son will decide to send his daughter to Hebrew School as a result and she will become Frum and he will be supportive of her decision. Maybe they will make a donation to a Frum cause, etc.

As you wrote so wisely earlier, one can not go into kiruv expecting people to become completely Frum on the spot.

The point is to light a spark that has no end. The point is to encourage a fellow Jew to keep one Mitzvah one time. The point is to give over a positive feeling for Yiddishkeit….

Rebshidduch -thanks! 🙂

RY – +1 I see I was right for being happy.

“Supply and demand gives men the upper hand in shidduchim.”

It lets them think they have the upper hand which helps no one. There are many older single guys who keep getting older and staying single because they will only go out with girls who are much younger than them, and girls are rarely willing to marry guys who are so much older than them.

bmyer – I don’t get it….

That being said, after thinking about it, I think I may agree with you on this (even though I am not a BY liberal). It does seem a bit strange to constantly address high school girls as “future wives and mothers”.

First of all, they should be focused on what you are now. Second of all, our main tafkid is being Ovdei Hashem, and being a wife and mother is merely the way we fulfill that role.

A single girl I know was once asked to speak on the topic “The tafkid of a single girl”. She refused to do it since she thought it was ridiculous. She was like, “What do you mean ‘the tafkid of a single girl?’ It’s the same tafkid as any Jew’s – being an Eved Hashem.”