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If you keep the 7 Mitzvos b’nei Noach they do.
this ( then the word then
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cute. I should get that bib for my nephews.
Randomex – thank you for your interest. I looked it up and realized that my source wasn’t actually the best source, although I imagine there is another one.
In the Mishna Berurah, Siman 5, s”k 17, he says that even though the Shulchan Aruch says that a guest has to listen to his host, this does not apply to a case where the host is trying to get him to eat more and he does not want to, since it might make him sick if he eats more.
Until I looked it up just now, I had mistakenly thought that the MB said that if the host wants him to eat a specific food he doesn’t want to eat, he does not have to (or shouldn’t) because eating foods that you don’t want to eat can make you sick.
However, I think it is possible that one can learn this out from the MB (that it would apply to the host trying to get him to eat a specific food he doesn’t want to eat even though he does want to eat more – he just doesn’t want that food) even though he doesn’t say so explicitly.
He actually does not say that it’s assur – just that you don’t have to.
However, I do think it’s assur to eat something that would make you sick, since you are not supposed to do things that are bad for you, but that apparently is not the source for it.
In any case, eating lox would make me throw up since I don’t like it, so I think that it would be assur for me to eat it.
And make sure it’s written in big black letters on a red shortsleeves t-shirts.
Gehinnom is good for us.
People in charge: I really like the fact that it is much easier now to go back to previous threads that aren’t on the first page. Thank you so much for changing that!!
I think I also like the general setup much better as well. I think it’s easier to read the posts now.
Maybe he has job options there or knows people there.
“and there is no going back unfortunately.”
You can always go back if you really want to. It’s called Teshuva. It’s true that it will be hard for you. That is why you need some support. The first thing you need to do is to tell your mother about this. The second thing you need to do is to offer rides to more girls instead of stopping to give rides to your friend.
avocado toast
veal“The title here sounded like this would be a sports thread”
That’s what I thought at first. That’s why it took me 7 hours until I opened this thread. And even then it was only because it finally occurred to me that it might not be about sports.
“or will that be a problem with הסיבה since you can’t merely lean while sleeping.”
Girls don’t have to lean, so for girls it should be fine. But why would anyone want to give up on the one opportunity a year to drink 4 cups of wine?
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“Lilmod, that’s a dangerous generalization to make”
Huh? Where did I make a generalization?
Everyone here missed the most important point of the OP. Who said it’s mutar to eat lox???!!!
For me, it’s totally assur (although it might be a d’Rabbanan). And if anyone is interested, I can bring the source.
Meno, how’d you do that? You’re really talented!
More experimenting:
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thisMeno – lol
Rebshidduch – your original posts on this topic were about how you were concerned that you would end up dating this guy and you wanted chizuk to not do so. So don’t criticize the people who are trying to do just that.
In terms of this girl, it would be incredibly rude for you to stop giving her rides. It is also highly inconsistent with the fact that you have posted about how doing chesed is so important to you and that is why you were giving this guy rides even though you were concerned that you might end up dating him. This is your opportunity to do a true chesed – helping someone else out even when there is no personal gain and when there is in fact, an inconvenience. If you are truly a baalas chesed, you will continue to give her rides. And when people call me as a reference for you for shiddduchim, I will be sure to let them know what a baalas chesed you are, b”n!
RY – I like your first clause in the OP. I think I will try to use that in the future. It works well for Yom Kippur in particular – “it’s less than a year since Yom Kippur and you’re already speaking Loshon Hora?!”
RY – +1
“Lilmod, please stop insulting the guy I might soon start dating.”
Rebshidduch, I don’t know the guy. All I’ve done is repeat back to you the things that you said.
The problem is that there are probably a lot of people in cyberspace who wouldn’t realize that’s a joke and seriously think that’s how (ultra) Orthodox Jews date. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there with crazy ideas about (ultra) Orthodox Jews who would take that seriously.
That doesn’t mean it’s a problem to make jokes as long as it’s clear it’s a joke. So if anyone out there in cyberspace seriously thinks that’s how we date, I am here to tell you that it’s a joke.
Rebshidduch – why do you think you came into the coffeeroom and told us all those things about the guy and how you didn’t want to date him? You obviously were very concerned about the possibility of dating him and were looking for chizuk to not do so. Now you ended up doing exactly what you were afraid you would do, and you expect us not to try to dissuade you?
I don’t think we will be able to dissuade you, even though you make it clear that was what you wanted. But at the very least, speak to your mother about it. She has your best interests at heart and can remain more clear-headed about the situation than you can. There is a reason why parents are traditionally involved in the shidduch process.
RY -thank you.
edited
Experimenting:
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And this:
The reasons why I would never go with him are obvious. Look at the kind of girlfriend his brother has that is the kind of girl he needs not me.
You also wrote this:
What do you mean not dating yet? We never went out together b’h otherwise the situation would be much worse than what it is now. I do not want a guy like him.
What is the definition of “courting” and what is the difference between courting and dating?
Personally, to me “courting” sounds like the guy is trying to seduce the girl into marrying him. Dating is something the boy and girl do together; I think that courting is something the guy does to the girl (although maybe I’m wrong about that, but I think that is how I have usually heard the term used).
Shidduch is a form of dating.
“When did the CR turn into a soap opera?”
Well, those of us who don’t watch soap operas need some form of entertainment 🙂
And maybe this can help those who do to wean themselves off of it.
Rebshidduch, here, I cut and pasted to make it easier for you to remember what you wrote:
First off he somehow convinces me to put not Jewish music on. Then he has the nerve and chutzpah to ask me to hang out with him.
What?
I thought you had started already? Maybe it would be a good idea to discuss it with your mother first as well as another trusted adult. See what others who are aren’t emotionally involved think about it.
You said that he got you to listen to goyish music.
ocean perch
chocolate chipsReb Shidduch, my impression of him is based solely on what you wrote about him before you started dating him and let your emotions take over.
There is a reason for the shidduch system. The main point is that shidduchim are checked out before you start dating. Even though you just “happened” to meet him, you can still “check him out” and I would advise that you do that.
I would also advise that you discuss this “shidduch” with your parents.
The one in the link.
If he has such a precious neshama, how was it that he convinced you to be oiver on an aveirah around 2 weeks ago?
btw, of course he has a precious neshama – everyone does, and it’s beautiful that you can see that. But the issue isn’t his neshama; it’s what he is l’maaseh right now. And based on your previous comments, he’s not in a great state right now.
oh my gosh! Thanks. It’s good I posted about it. I felt bad – I just thought that the whole thing had to be remoderated and that’s why it took so long, so I felt bad posting about it, but I was getting frustrated. It’s good I said something!
Does that happen often that things go to spam? Whenever my posts don’t get posted, I’m never sure if they were deleted by the mods or if there was a technical error and they never got through in the first place. I’m not comfortable asking the mods each time. Is there any way to know?
Where’d my post go? All I did was add a space and a quotation mark to make it easier to read. 🙁
It’s now clocked in at over 2 hours. That’s gotta be a record for the longest time to moderate a space and a quotation mark!
Fixed it. It went to spam. That must have been a serious space and quotation mark you added
not according to what you wrote in other threads.
I just used the edit button for the first time, and I decided it’s very annoying. All I did was add in a space and an additional quotation mark in order to make my post easier to read, and now my post disappeared.
It’s been gone for around an hour I think. That wasn’t worth it just for an extra space!
Meanwhile, other posts that were written since then have appeared, but mine is still gone :(.
The strange thing is that my name still shows up as the last post even though the post is gone.
There’s gotta be a way to add in a space w/o having to wait over an hour for your post to reappear!
ice cream sandwiches
coffeeRebshidduch – that doesn’t sound very good.
lol… Boruch Hashem, my mother doesn’t know about the coffee room 🙂
I always make a point of logging off the CR anytime I leave the computer, in case my mother decides to use the computer meanwhile.
Sorry, I’m not such an expert on exact color shades. I only use the basic color names such as: blue, green, yellow, red, etc.
Did you know that in Israel blue and light blue are considered to be two entirely different colors?
I’m American – to me, blue is blue and green is green, etc.
“and an implication that one is never allowed to not follow his father’s minhag, even in the OP’s case.”
“That is a strange conclusion to draw, as I was careful to point out that there are exceptions.” –Since it was said in response to the OP’s comment, that is the logical conclusion. If you weren’t referring to him, you should have said so clearly. You wrote in parenthesis (barring extenuating circumstances), but you did not say that this was referring to his case. Putting in parenthesis particularly made it sound like it was NOT referring to this case, as was the term “extenuating” (
“Did you think I meant if a persons father had a minhag of avoda zara he should continue following “Minhag avosihem beyedeihem”?”
That was clearly NOT the situation here. That would be a good example of your “extenuating circumstances” which does not seem to refer to the case at hand (certainly not, if that is your example of “extenuating”).
“L’maaseh, I don’t have a definite opinion on the topic, ”
Nu, so dont comment, there is no law that says you have to comment on every thread particularly if you dont have a “defenite opinion”You are taking my words out of context. In the context in which that sentence was said, it was clear that I meant that I don’t have a definite opinion regarding when a person should or should not follow their families’ minhag. This is because I don’t think I have a right to have a definite opinion, since it is not something that is a black-and-white halacha (to the best of my knowledge).
“What I do have a definite opinion on is the fact that the OP should not be criticized for not following his father’s minhagim and that is what I commented on.
“(except for this post in which you downplay keeping mesora, (though granted it is all relative)”I was surprised that the idea of changing minhagim was so controversial. …If a family has a very strong mesora, I guess that changing it would be a big deal. But I think that a lot of families don’t…” )””
I wouldn’t call that downplaying mesorah. Again, I don’t think it’s necessarily a problem for someone to not follow their father’s mesorah, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t respect mesorah.
The fact that I think the OP should not be criticized and that I was surprised by the responses to him does not meant that I don’t respect mesorah.
“I’m also surprised you didnt have the OP follow daas Torah which is usually one of your go to comments”
Not always. I might have done so if either: a) he had been asking us if he is doing the right thing halachically, or b) I thought he was doing something assur.