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Bygirl- lol wasn’t my objective:) But i’m always lookin out for my friends;)
Curiosity- I’m from originally Florida so maybe your wish could come true.. Floridians, especially the girls are awesome and chilled! I think baltimore, LA and Detroit have some really amazing girls as well. Not that NYers aren’t awesome. ( my best friend is from flatbush).
Curiosity.. My single friends and I your concerns too. As girls we want a guy who is solid in his foundation hashkafically and has a plan for his future. While theoretically we all would love to support learning husbands, its not always realistic. I think you want a girl who is also very frum, dedicated to yiddishkeit and is always perfecting her middos. Newsflash- Girls want the same thing! While most of us want a guy with a solid yeshiva background, but many girls aren’t looking for the next rosh yeshiva. BTW most of my friends and i are from out of town too. It sounds like you’re a real ben torah with his priorities straight. So just have bitachon:)
Logician i have a great idea for buchrim.. pass around the high school yearbooks so they can pick the most attractive girl to them and then yay, shidduch. It’ll obviously save boys their precious time going out with a girl they might not find attractive.
As a girl, i’d be creeped out. But do what you like.
Interjection: I agree 100%! well said. All girls struggle with their looks, even models. Girls are so sensitive to this issue that this is the worst case scenerio of a rejection- rejecting for looks. It is obviously going to happen in the world, but without getting a date its a no?
apushtayid: Right on!
Nothing is wrong with being curious.. Obviously girls are also. It’s normal and natural. I guess that why everyone is usually so nervous before a first date. The girl has no idea whose walking in her door. I just dont get what the big deal is to wait a couple days and meet the actual person? So it’s not curiosity, it’s “is she worth my time?”
Far East- but if you agree that most people are not repulsive, then why not take the chance and meet them in person?
Whats bnos chana?
Bnos Chava is not low pressure. Sorry
Just to point something out.. All girls are beautiful in their own way. So maybe not what you consider to be beautiful or what society deems as “attractive”, but we’re all pretty. Most people are not downright ugly. Just saying.
you’ll hear the shofar!!! At least that’s what i was always taught in BY.
Logician what would you tell a shadchan who wanted a picture of your daughter to give it to the boy? As an answer to you question, i believe girls do it in a more menchliche way cuz:
1. we usually dont ask for photos in the first place
2. speaking for myself and prob many girls, i wouldnt reject a decent looking guy if we “clicked”. and by decent i mean passable. I think most girls, will give the person a chance. Look i dont like skinny guys cuz they just look a bit whimpy to me. But if everything checked out.. i’d give him a shot. And that is where men and women may differ.
GO SEMINAR!!!
My point is that if a girl rejects a guy for looks she feels bad for doing so. At least i do and most girls i know. We also feel bad for acting like we might be “leading the guy on” if we are going out a couple times and we still cant seem to be attracted. Hopefully guys can have the same sensitivity when they are making rejections. Listen if attractiveness is important to you on your list, than you do of course have the right to say no thank you. But seriously do it like a mench.
Romney duh! I’d rather vote for a monkey than obama.
How do guys feel if they are rejected for their looks. Let’s face it.. most guys also dont want to be rejected for merely the exterior. What ever happened to not judging a book by its cover?? Also while i agree a lot of girls have no clue about guys, i also think guys (apperently from this thread) dont know girls.
By us they even sell them in like our supermarkets… I just walk past them. But lol actually once in high school me and my friend ditched first period to go to krispe and then my principal walked in… not a good moment let me tell you. So ever since then i’m kinda scared off krispe. Weird, i know.
Krispe is way too sugary… so yeah if you eat 6 krispe creme in one sitting, that’s enough calories to last you 3 days. We have krispe where I live but i didn’t know NY had them. I thought NY has an obsession with Dunkin, or at least my friends do.
Chevraman- I totally understand what your saying but in truth it’s not miami that is the real problem here. I believe that if someone wants to get into trouble, they can do that wherever they are. Honestly its the attitude that people come with down here. Just because it’s sunny and awesome doesn’t mean that they could just do whatever they want. Lol it’s kinda funny, we can spot a tourist from a mile away down here.
This thread is so irking. Everyone can come to my house in miami and you can see how frum and normal we are.
Loyal Jew..
I dont know if you know much about Chofetz Chaiim. But you’re statement about being rejected from kollels or shidduchim is irrelevant. Chofetz Chaiim all learn in Queens even after they’re married until they get smicha. So there is no need for them to be concerned about what other yeshivos do or think. My family is Chofetz Chaiim so i know enough to say this. As for the shidduchim, CC is in a way a club. They only really marry other CC families and stuff like that. So therefore in both arguments of kollel and shidduchim, it’s irrelevant. They dont care what other people do and the whole idea of CC is about mussar and growing from the inside. Just because a bachur wears a white shirt, doesn’t make him more spiritual or on a higher level. White shirt, blue shirt ext.. as long as you act and behave like a Ben Torah, we dont care about these shtusim.
“I wonder if in the home they were staying in, the females were dressed.”
From living in Miami i can honestly tell you all that it’s not like FL in the summer is buzzing. But i do agree with your premise. But the fact that schools in NY dont let girls come down, even with their families is not because it’s really the miami community. To be truthful problems begin when teenagers come from NY for winter vacation or peasach and they get into trouble with themselves. And for the 1/2 being dressed… us Miami frum people are just as tznius as everyone else.. we’re just out of town. Of course goyim here may cause the problem that you’re referring to. I just feel like in general, there is a stigma to where I live. Like because i’m from Miami i may not be as tznuus or as frum because “it’s hot”. So what? For us halacha is halacha and we strive to follow it just as much as everyone else.
I agree with the idea that a big portion of a woman’s self esteem is her exterior. If it wasn’t, this thread wouldn’t be addressed. As a girl in shidduchim, i know it may be hard to balance the idea of caring too much or too little about looks. No one wants to feel that they’re just a pretty face or the opposite, that they’re not attractive.
I’m a doula and i’m applying to nursing school and hope to one day be a midwife. I know both sides of the argument and honestly, I do and always will believe that a hospital is better equipped to handle any birthing situation.
Maybe I’m just naive or wtvr but how does one know if they’re not attractive? Meaning most people aren’t models but how do you know that your looks would be an issue?
Uch darn. I’m B”H well off but not emaciated (B”H healthy!) oh well…Too bad! lol
Lol so the type guys rate their dates from 1-10 and then go back to yeshiva and compare numbers.