Lost1970

>> Do not think you are worthless, or a sinner or any of that.

I am as much a sinner as 85% of American Jews — I understand that my observance at Conservative level is very little. But that is unrelated to Autism.

>> HaLeiVi, it is my understanding that implements once

>> used for Avoda Zara are OK if the Avoda Zara was

>> discontinued by its practitioners,

Neo Pagans are active now. But stone arrow heads were just used for hunting 3,500 years ago.

I am grateful to everyone — I have seen very interesting artifacts on ebay under $25. I will ask a rabbi if I have a chance.

>> Life is a roller coaster ride- if you go low down, you’re

>> going to spring up and go really high someday. Look ahead

>> and know your value. Hashem loves you.

I will pray to G-d to help me. But I have sinned very much.

Maybe my situation is the best as it keeps me from sinning more.

>> try ohel bais ezra,

Thank you very much. I will definitely talk to them. The problem is that too many people do not understand what depression is and consider it “lazyness”.

Internet Addiction Syndrome is not a joke.

>> Your existence is very purposeful – but you are wasting

>> it. Get up, get a real job or go to school, and start

>> making a difference. Don’t look for people to caress

>> you and tell you not to feel bad about doing nothing

>> all day.

Theoretically you are right 100%. But what can I do?

>> A person with issues should take care of those issue

>> before contemplating marriage.

I do not plan to marry — I am unemployed.

>> A person’s tafkid in life is to do the will of HaShem.

The vast majority of American Jews (84%) and even greater majority of Americans (90%) believe in G-d. Unfortunately for many Jews, the life is occupied by other issues

— work

— hobbies

— arguments

— Internet

Thus, many people perform very few mitsvot.

Thank you — everyone’s input is very helpful. I must become more observant especially since I have failed to achieve a good life here.

>> Being Jewish, we are the Keepers of the Torah.

>> Not a simple job.

At least I can keep much much more then I did so far.

>> The only one you should want to be a success for,

>> is your Creator.

That is true. Most secular Jews believe in G-d and follow some mitzvot. They also understand that observant Jews are right.

>> What use is it being at the top if you are unhappy?

I can not get a job as a mathematician. I am not sure if the I can not or I would not or both — because I will not be happy there.

>> Is your problem that you feel you don’t have time or

>> want to expend attention to Torah and mitzvhos? A

>> lot of us (you’d call frummies) do that too.

I do not know. I am really Lost. I am lost between three directions:

Direction 1: I understand that I must serve G-d and work for obtaining a share in Eternal life.

Direction 2: My heart pulls me to be a writer/advocate — have not engaged in writing/polemics for a long time.

Direction 3: I am suppose to work on my unpaid internship for my Mathematics PhD — so I pretend to work.

>> A lot of us (you’d call frummies) do that too. Many

>> have degrees, professions, jobs, things they must

>> devote their time (and lives) to. That’s the way

>> Hashem made the world.

I do not work. I pretend to work for my unpaid internship. I thus do almost nothing.

>> I get the picture you’re already “here” just an

>> additional “boost” maybe is needed.

I am mostly for obtaining guidance.

Most secular Jews are not Atheists. 84% of American Jews including myself believe in G-d and His Torah.

But on everyday basis a secular Jew may devote only a few minutes a day to Mitsvas. The rest of the time he/she pursues secular goals such as being a doctor/lawyer/mathematician/advocate/writer. Now all I lived for has fallen apart. I do not know what to do now.

>> He understands the need for slow steps one starting

>> anew and afresh must take. To Him they are so precious,

>> as dear as offering sacrifices.

Thank you very much. The main issue for me is to keep motivation. I had religious awakenings, but then I was back at secular life. The longest awakening was in Jan ’91 — ‘Jan 94. The second was Oct ’96- Feb ’97. The third was Spring — Summer ’03. This one started Summer ’13.

Most secular Jews believe in G-d. I have kept Sabbath and most of kosher since ’96. But most of the time a secular person is occupied with worldly pursuits.

How can I keep motivation to become observant?

>> Everyone is meant to serve Hashem, and part of

>> each Jew’s purpose is to study Torah and fulfill

>> mitzvos (including such “spiritual” mitzvos as

>> loving and fearing G-d, and trusting in Him).

>> But chassidic and kabbalistic thought teaches

>> that each person has a particular soul correction

>> they are also meant to achieve in this life.

Thank you very much — I have read that many souls come to this world many times to fulfill all 613 mitzvot.

>> another sharp line heard from a chashuva person,

>> “where Hashem puts a period, we don’t put a question mark”

Definitely, a human has no right to argue with G-d. One temptation of idol worship is that people can argue with idols.

You are right 100%. But I am not sure I can start with hard work given all the difficulties and pain I have.

I want to be part of Jewish community.

>> Ginzberg’s Legends of the Jews is pretty much just an

>> accurate translation of Midrashim. It should be fine to read.

Thank you.