Forum Replies Created
refoelzeev, thank you so much for that. What is the age of most of the girls?
Lilmod, please stop putting him down. Over the last few months of getting to know him. He is nowhere near what your saying about him. He is a good frum boy who is looking for a nice shidduch. I am trying to help him by setting him up with other girls.
Let me be honest since I havent updated my concern and answers to others. The reason I am concerned is because he is a typical normal frum guy and I already have a guy who I have been interested in for over a year. I am hesitant to go out with a different guy other than that guy. I really like that guy and I really want him. So when I am dating I am always comparing him to other guys. I do not want to go out with this guy and have the other one be like I am dating now and then I would be set up with him. I do not want the other guy to suffer because of this. So I want to set him up with some other girl who has no interest in another guy.
Boyswork, it is not that he is not good enough for me. It is that I feel like my basheret is someone else that is not him.
Lilmod, yes. But in fact I might actually end up setting him up thru a shidduch to a different girl not me.
Lilmod, very funny.
Is it a good sign when a not frum girl wants to start being called by her hebrew name?
Lilmod, you hit the nail on the head.
M, that is my approach. it makes sense no one wants a shpiel about how awesome a religion is and how they should become religious.
Meno, whoever asked me in specific I forgot who. Look above to find the person.
Meno, okay fine. So why were you guys asking me what my definition of modern is?
Lilmod, how would you describe a girl like this? Someone who learns and always does chesed and keeps tznius very well and does not hang out with guys. Are they considered yeshivish?
Lilmod, thanks for the input.
yekke2, then too many other guys would be considered yeshivish even the ones going out to movies but still want to spend more time learning. Also, I did not say that I want someone who hangs out with girls I would never say that. In fact I probably will marry someone in between like the definition I said.
Winniethepooh, didn’t you say you were old in another thread? How do you have a 4 year old daughter than if your in your 60’s?
I do not like kids so I cannot add anything cute about them.
zahavasdad, Hashem will lead the way the same way He does with everyone else doing kiruv remember kiruv is all for Hashem not for me.
Lilmod, then even the guys who I consider to be more religious not yesivish but in between you consider modern because they watch movies. Then according to you I definitely want a modern guy no matter what. I consider a guy who only keeps shabbos and kosher and nothing else to be modern. In between is someone who watches movies, does not talk to girls, listens to not Jewish music and learns at least part time to be in between and yeshivish someone who learns in kollel.
bmyer, mazel tov. The guy who just got engaged, went OTD before and came back on and just recently got engaged is 24?
Lilmod, it is okay. On the outside I look very yeshivish and do everything very yeshivish girls do even tho I date guys who may not be that way.
JGS613, thank you for that. I do not mind to be around and date people older than me because I am very use to that. In fact so much so that I do not like being around people younger than in there 20’s.
yichusdik, my way of doing kiurv is by showing them the religious world and letting them know the basics and basically showing them the way and letting them choose what they want but at the same time “sneakily” pushing them towards yidishkeit while letting them choose what they want. What I mean by “sneakily” is that you cannot force someone to become religious but you can show them how beautiful it is.
Lilmod, I understand where you are coming from 100%. But even the guy was giving me ways of how to get involved in kiruv. So he supports me.
yekke2, do you consider boys who go to movies modern?
Gr8bochur, why wont ner work? I happen to be very pro ner. So that is why I am asking.
smearl, I thought you were referring to me because that is what they keep telling me.
Lilmod, I have to say I do seem like I know what I am doing when it comes to kiruv. But at the same time I myself am dating guys who are close to being OTD or actually OTD so there is a contradiction going on.
zahavasdad, the whole system is hard to deal with.
yekke2, especially since they are very good boys bh.
yekke2, there are plenty of nice good frum boys who go to ner. They are amazing boys. They are not “modern”. They may go to college but they are not “modern”. They learn part time and work part time. There is nothing wrong with that. Some of the boys that go there end up learning in kollel. That is not “modern”.
Gr8bochur, that is ner that you are referring to. Many boys who go there are very smart and have a college education and definitely not a learning disability or challenged. They go out to restaurants, movies and anything they want. It depends on the boys level of yidishkeit also what they do.
YWMOD, I think that is only the high school. My brother went there. So from my understanding only the high school boys cannot have smartphones maybe?
Ner Yisroel fits with what you have said.
yitzmocha, I think I give up doing kiruv. I think I should do kiruv on my boyfriend before I do it on some random girl.
Did anyone read pliskin book on marriage? Is it good?
I have another question. How do I know what type of guy to date?
Lilmod, I was talking to my teacher from the shiurim I go to and she knows me personally. So she is trying to help me find the right seminary and is helping me look into Medreshet Rochel VChaya.
winiethepooh, I agree 100%. But this is the best seminary for me either way.
Lilmod, thank you. Another kiruv question is it okay if I tell someone who was OTD the reason why someone involved in kiruv treated them that way?
zahavasdad, I know. I deal with people who are OTD or not religious or not even Jewish on a daily basis. I am use to that.
zahavasdad, so what should I do? This is part of kiruv.
JGS613, I want to know how the shidduchim are for the medreshet rochel vchaya and darchei noam boys are? I am assuming since there are many girls from that seminary and many boys from that yeshiva looking for shidduchim they probably try making shidduchim between them? What kind of girls are the darchei noam boys looking for?
JGS613, very nice. It sounds very good. But I assume that you mean whether I am yeshivish or stay the same not go to a lower medraga?
misteryudi, no thank you.
misteryudi, I did not know you can paste photos?
Lilmod, (jokingly) I guess I lack sechel when it comes to shidduchim but everything else I have shechel for?
Lilmod, I was just thinking I am not sure if it was you or someone else that mentioned that it is not okay for him to be friends with other girls besides his girlfriend and future wive which could be me. I see where you are coming from now and I 100 percent agree. I even know other girls who made their boyfriends get rid of all their other girl friends and they did the same. I totally agree with you. I should look further into that.
jhonny, listen to your parents. Do not ruin your live.
Lilmod, I never said that. That is a very good point. I am going to think about it.