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I am so proud to say that I don’t watch movies!!July 26, 2011 4:34 am at 4:34 am in reply to: Do I tell the parents about kids being mechalal Shabbos??? #790543
It may be harder for me to get through each day without having a nervous breakdown or other emotional issues.
But even in the darkest moments it never entered my head to think that Hashem is ‘like’ my father. If I would’ve been told that i don’t think i couldve survived!
To think that these children truthfully perceive their parents midos as a basis for the way Hashem treats us… that makes me very distressed. If this is the case, the loneliness the kids are facing is complete! Think about it from their view-they have NOONE on their side, noone that cares for them and loves them unconditionally and noone to ever turn to when theyre in a tight spot.
That is a most devastating thought…July 26, 2011 3:42 am at 3:42 am in reply to: Do I tell the parents about kids being mechalal Shabbos??? #790536
Popa, you are justifying impulsive behavior.
If a child has a father who is critical and overbearing he has two options. The easy, shallow way is to ‘let it all out’ on G-d and throw everything back in His ‘face’.
But, a child who looks for truth, understands that his father’s imperfections reflect nothing on the Father of all people.
The only way I can make this statement with such conviction is because I have a father that would cause many shallow people to go off the derech if they were his children. Still, i have the fiercest love for Hashem – possibly because of my circumstances- because i recognize that while the love i receive from my human father is conditional, all I have from Hashem is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! How could i possibly sin intentionally if i feel like that??
Pac-Man it’s obvious that you never lived in the same house as an abusive person. Loneliness is difficult, but it can be bliss after being in an abusive relationship.
So many people say to stick out a bad marriage for the sake of the children. But did anyone ever think that maybe children can also get hurt by abuse??? Would you like to know what those children-turned adults-have to say on the matter? Because I can tell you…
If an important purpose of the story was to raise an awareness of abuse in our community, than I really think it was a mistake to keep the wife in the relationship. I’m sure there are women in abusive marriages who, like Gila in the story, are not strong enough to get out. And when they read this story, it made them believe that their husbands will change and they should just stick it out.
I’m sorry to say but most people with abusive tendencies DO NOT CHANGE or if they do, it takes many long years. It is an exception for someone to make a complete abrupt turnaround. I sincerely hope that no women take an example from Gila. If you are in an abusive relationship GET OUTTTTT! DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE KIDS! DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING! JUST GET OUT!
I am no great tzaddik nor is my story famous, but something happened to me just the other day which made a very deep impression on myself:
I woke up in the morning and it was pouring rain outside. Now, I have this weird thing that if it’s raining when I go to work, it puts me in a bad mood. I don’t care so much if it rains before or after, but I don’t like to walk to and from my car in the rain.
That said, I was not so pleased to see the rain coming down hard. (Don’t worry, I’m WORKING on my appreciation for rain!!)
Anyways, I said in my head, “Hashem, please make it stop raining by the time i want to leave the house! Please, pleaseeeeeee!!!!”
In the meantime, I davened and ate breakfast. Just as I was about to step out of my house, i saw that the SUN WAS OUT! I was stunned! I was not really expecting Hashem to make the rain stop for me. But the truth is, that He really cared. And He really wants me to be happy!
And then I stopped short with a realization: Something so petty, so unimportant, so not crucial. And G-d listened to my prayers.
The next time I spoke to Hashem, I spoke with a lot more faith, a lot more belief, and I made sure to also ask for things that really mattered.
And of course, He listened.
Menuchas Hanefesh is very important in order to have a good davening. Real menuchas hanefesh means living in the moment, not thinking about what you just did or what you’re about to do. Just think: right now, I’m here! Right before Hashem!
It also means that when you wake up halfway thru shemona esrai and you realized that you didn’t concentrate on 1 word yet, you don’t start eating yourself up over it. You right away shift to the present, to what is NOW! And that is your conversation with the most powerful Being that exists in whose hands every human being is a pawn. Good luck… and don’t forget to ask Hashem to help you work on your Tefillah!
When I was a kid this was one of my favorite songs! I feel so validated that other people exist that like it! Nowadays hardly anyone’s heard of Yigal Calek…. 🙂
Besides for everything posted above:
Someone who recognizes who he is, why he is here, what he must do, and how he must do it. By establishing himself as a very real entity with a very real purpose, and by taking steps towards his goals in life, a person can gain respect for himself. It is important for him to come to terms with with his limitations, but to gain a healthy self-esteem one must validate his unique gifts and positive attributes thus enabling him to move in the direction of his unique tafkid.
Like the threatening clouds that are starting to form
And the darkness and tension of today’s thunderstorm
I feel trapped in the heat and so ready to burst
Like I’m falling from the sky, and falling head-first.
Can I catch myself now? Before it’s too late?
Before I spew words of anger, of bitterness and hate?
Will I be the one to erupt in a flood?
That will drench, perhaps drown everyone that i could?
Or will I conquer my own self with a strong-sounding boom
Like the thunder that seems to be shaking my room
Or will I light up the world with a moment-long streak
And with my pain, go and heal others feeling bleak
There are so many ways to take hardship and strain
Without pounding it heavily on everyone’s window pane
And the strength that it takes to overcome one’s own being
So yes, sometimes that silver lining has but nothing to do
With whether your situation has all but improved
That light’s just a reflection of what you carry within
YOUR strength and the way that YOU fight and YOU win.
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It keeps you moving but gets you nowhere.
Wow, thanks everyone. Thought I would share a message from my grandmother A”H (a concentration camp survivor):
Words of pure truth from someone who had seen it all.
My mother never allowed me to wear a jean skirt and I can tell you one thing: I can’t wait to have girls and dress them in denim. It was the type of restriction that was exactly that – restricting. And I’m not even talking about very trashy/cheap jean skirts.
I use the Crest whitestrips pro effects and it works unbelievably! I just use it for a couple days before a wedding or event and it turns my teeth white! And it lasts for a while… If you use it every day it will definitely do the job.
Guys: please make sure the first 2 dates do not last any more than 3 hours! It is so hard on the girl (as I’m sure it is hard for you!) When a guy keep me out for long, I come home so sick and I cant even thiiiink of seeing him again.
As for conversations, try to let flow and be natural as opposed to constantly bringing up new topics. Of course you will need to prepare a couple but rather relax and let the conversation run its course. And PLEASE, if you see the conversation’s not going well, there’s nothing wrong with taking the girl home after 2 hours!