There’s nothing like the sweet scent of summer to bring a smile to anyone’s face. Unfortunately not everyone is smiling this season, as the alarming facts about what goes on in the Catskills with our teenagers, is coming to surface. We can run, we can pretend it’s not a reality, and we can even try to circumvent the situation by saying its not our kids. However the truth is that the hype about all the dangers that exist in the Catskill’s are very much real.
Last summer there were dozens of house parties that took place with hundreds of boys and girls, surrounded by alcohol, drugs, and behavior which is beyond the scope of this article to describe. There were gambling parlors set up by our own yeshiva graduates and dropouts. There was a pool hall that attracted many teenagers to come and play. However once inside the pool hall, there was a disco ball hanging in the rear with alluring sounds of music. This was the “place to be” for summer ’08, until it was thankfully closed down, as many of the kids ran out with shame and a guilty conscious. Surprisingly many of them responded by the fact that they weren’t drinking and just checking out the scene. Many looked at the adults who were responsible for closing it down and stated “I didn’t drink anything. I am S-h-o-m-e-r.” These are just three examples of what went on behind closed doors last summer, and the stories that leaked out.
It is a sad and alarming reality that these were our own children who were engaged in such activity. There are dozens of excuses to come up with. Maybe they were just curious, bored, intrigued, looking for fun, or just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Maybe….maybe. As many excuses as we can come up with, we have to be aware of the ripple affects that such a summer can attribute to. We can’t just shut off and pretend that this is not going on. This is an issue that we must combat together as a community, with thought, devotion, compassion and lot’s of Tefillah.
At the same time we have to not only look out for the teenager who has already crossed that line. What about the good kids, who are not comfortable about being in a coed environment? What about the girls that wouldn’t drink, do drugs, or be involved in any promiscuous behavior, but at the same time just want to be able to have a good time? Sometimes a parent makes the mistake of focusing only on the child who misbehaves and rarely pays attention to the needs of the “goody-goody” child. Its a huge mistake, with a price tag that is not worth the consequences. Sometimes its imperative to reward the good kids for being good.
A a result of this tremendous need, Ohr Naava Women’s Torah Center, founded in loving memory of Naava Katlowitz, has taken it upon themselves to rise to that challenge and provide a healthy outlet for girls. Seeing the tremendous need for such an environment, last summer Ohr Naava rented out Kiamesha Lanes bowling alley every Saturday night. The bowling alley was open for girls only, every Motzei Shabbos completely free of charge, offering bowling, melava malka and music. There wasn’t a doubt in anyone’s mind that the program filled a tremendous need in the community – having over 200 girls show up every single week. The energy in the room was incredible as the girls bowled, sang, and were unified under one roof with huge smiles and lasting friendships. These were girls who needed to be an environment that was fun, exciting, social….and without sacrificing their standards of tznias or morals. The worse thing for a teenager in the summer is to be bored, and looking for something “to do.” This was the success of the motzei shabbos bowling campaign, a program for girls who were not at risk, but needed a healthy and fun outlet.
This year with the economic situation haven taken such a turn, it could have been easy to justify the temporary hold of such a program. There was room to say – this summer we just cant do bowling, there’s simply no money for it. Hopefully the good girls will just continue being good and wont come in contact with the temptations surrounding them. However being that Ohr Naava is involved with girls on a yearly basis, it was aware of the importance of creating a program geared for the girl who just needs a kosher outlet to have a good time. The truth is that as much as the tragic stories which take place over the summer are true, the majority of our kids are still great kids! They need to have an atmosphere catered to rewarding them for being good, and not just with a shiur or a volunteering opportunity. Summer is a tremendous opportunity for getting lost in the wrong crowd, the wrong environment, and rippling over into the school year. Providing an opportunity to today’s teenage girl which fosters an atmosphere of social networking, camaraderie, healthy fun, and all in a kosher atmosphere, is precisely why this summer Kiamesha Lanes will be open every Motzei Shabbos.
If you have daughters, nieces, friends who can benefit from such an opportunity please tell them about this wonderful opportunity!
If you would like to have the zchus of sponsoring such an important initiative please contact the Ohr Naava office at [email protected] or call 718. Ohr. Naav(a) or write to 2201 East 23rd Street, Brooklyn, NY 11229.
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21 Responses
This article begs the question- WHAT ABOUT THE BOYS???!
1,
we are worried about chaya olam haba, not olam ha’zeh.
azi- in what way are they living? if we have a chance to change behavior that we know is destructive to them physically and to thier yiddishkeit, dont we have a responsibility to them to help them and show them the right way?
yasher koach to Ohr Naava for giving these girls the choice to go somewhere more appropriate for them. Also to YeshivaWorld for publisizing it.
“Just let kids live.”
For parents who haven’t yet received their certificate of “mature enough to have kids, and responsible enough to tune in to their children’s environment”, this article is not for you. #1’s advice is perfect.
For all other parents, read article and make determinations as per your own judgment and knowledge of your own children. It’s wonderful to have options.
Parentzs, please be open to talking about anything and everything with your children. If they don’t feel they can come to you with their questions, they will get them answered somewhere else as did some of the children in the Catskills. Your children don’t realize how blessed by G-d they are to be living in a frum world with parents who are equally concerned with their spiritual growth and with their physical growth. Oh what some of us wouldn’t give to have been able to grow up in a Lubavitch environment!
What is better life than a lift with Gedarim and guidelines?! Hashem gave us a beautiful life and gave a Torah as a handbook – a guidline of how to live this life to its fullest and how to prepare for the real life in the world to come.
They had a pool place (where the boys could shoot pool) open last year for the boys on Motzei Shabbos
What about a work out room ,gym, sauna ,pool(swimming) for boys?
I know a kollel/yeshiva in new jersey that has a fully equipped excersize rm. Work out/with shower…..
wow look at that finally an article that’s putting the blame squarely on the shoulders of the children that want to go out and have a good time (just like any normal person would want to )and not on there rebbi teacher morah father mother or anyone else caught in the cross hairs of certain people and certain agendas
Sorry there is no one to blame for ones misdeeds and misbehaviors but one’s self
I also wanted to have a good time I also wanted to go hang out in the hip and the in places but I took what every rebbi and every parent teaches their child SELF CONTROL AND RESPOSIBILITY and put it before my raging taivos
THIS IS ALL A PRODUCT OF THE AWFUL CHINUCH SYSTEM IN AMERICA FROM THE LACK OF PARENTING TO THE LACK OF AHAVAS HATORAH AND YIDESHKEIT THAT IS NOT BEING TAUGHT IN OUR SCHOOLS AND SEEN IN OUR NEIGHBORHOODS!!!!!! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!!!!
Azi:
Reform leaders agree with you. They also just lets kids live. The majority of their descendants are goyim.
If you want that G-d will give it to you: ‘In the way that they want to go (the Heavens) guide them…’
Please correct my previous post by taking out the extra ‘s’ after ‘let:’
Azi:
Reform leaders agree with you. They also just let kids live. The majority of their descendants are goyim.
If you want that G-d will give it to you: ‘In the way that they want to go (the Heavens) guide them…’
Halevai here in EY someone could organize something like this.
The ultimate failure has yet to be addressed. If chinuch from either their parents or rebbeim is insufficient to keep boys and girls from “experimenting” with sex, alcohol, or drugs, it is merely an alternate viewpoint, chas v’sholom, and not life altering training. It is not enough, then, that failure in pervasive in Jewish homes, but it is also the rule of the day in our schools. Oy lanu l’yom ha’din.
geshmakamirrer: huh? it has to do with the culture around us, not with the chinuch! we preach abstince!
if you think this problem is limited to the Catskills in the summer YOU ARE IN DENIAL! WAKE UP!
these teens do smiler acts in their homes turf year round, the only solution ( instead of looking whom to blame) is for everyone of us to befriend a teen in need of help & try to work with them positively 1 on 1. give them love & you will give them life!
Here is a suggestion on how to keep your kid from being a statistic in the above article:
Daven real hard that your chinuch habonim is successful in keeping your kids focused on Torah and yiras Shomayim. I see too many people that cruise through uva letzion in the morning-even though there are TWO places in it where we daven for success in raising our kids. The difference between saying it with kavana and doing it on autopilot is under one minute-don’t we have one minute to spare for our kids’ futures? Even if we have to run out to work?
#17
This article is not talking about teens at risk that need someone to befriend them .we are talking about your run of the mill kid that wants to have a good time befriend them will not make a difference .the only thing that will help is teaching them self control responsibility and most of all schar v’onesh (something that’s not allowed any more these days (no punishments no yelling no reprimanding no criticizing in short no repercussions for bad behavior so why shouldn’t I do what I want after all I can just blame it on whom ever I feel like at that moment and everyone will feel bad for me the poor victim of todays chinuch ) WRONG WRONG WRONG we must instill in our children schar v’onesh what ever it takes to teach it and then a child will think twice before him or her run off to the wrong place to have a “good” time
Hashem yishmor alenu v’yatzilenu
#14
For many reasons, something like this cannot happen in E”Y: Rabbonim wouldn’t approve, some form of lack of tzniyus, not being able to admit the problem exists, etc.
Listen Up!
These problems are becoming more rampant today than ever because of the global village we live in today. The streets today are dangerous for the average frum teenager, it doesn’t take much to get involved with the wrong things innocently.
Giving our children a constructive, kosher way to have fun is one of the best ways to help children, teens today. Instead of telling them no, we are showing them How.
Don’t ignore, parents, make yourself aware of what is available to your child, teen and discuss with them the inherent dangers involved in seemingly innocent actions. Awareness and prevention can save alot of Tzaar
“it has to do with the culture around us, not with the chinuch! we preach abstince! ”
Call it hormones, “yetzer hara,” libido, whatever, but it’s not “the culture around us” that undercuts abstinence – it is an inborn desire. Teenagers will have that desire no matter how much you shelter them. The challenge is in giving them a combination of “kosher” outlets and self-control, as many have said. But blaming it on the “outside” will lead you to seek solutions in the wrong places…