Eldercare II, Achiezer�s long-awaited Eldercare Conference, has created a �buzz� all around town as it makes its first return after a hiatus of three years.� Today, we join Rabbi Boruch Ber Bender, Achiezer�s president; Milka Keilson, Conference Program Director; and Eli Weiss, Development Coordinator; for a sneak preview of this historic event..�
What IS the Eldercare Conference?
Rabbi Bender: The Eldercare Conference is a state-of-the-art event that is designed to present the Frum community with every bit of knowledge, information, and Chizuk that exists in the field of eldercare�all on a silver platter.� It�s a venue for people to meet and learn from foremost experts in every sphere, as well as to get a handle on the myriads of goods and services available to them.
Why is there a need for this? Can�t people just get the information they need on their own?�
Rabbi Bender: Eldercare is one of the most complex challenges that people face in their lives.� Just the other day, we received a call from a woman who said, �Hi, I don�t live in the New York area, but my parents do.� My father can�t drive anymore, my mother can�t take care of the house anymore, the two of them sit at home all day, and what do we do with them?�
Yet another call:� A fellow in his early seventies had a stroke, and now he�s back home, half-paralyzed.� He can�t drive, he can�t work, he can�t feed himself, he can�t even sleep in a regular bed.� There are Yichud issues with nurses; there are Shalom Bayis issues as his wife tries to adjust to this new reality; his married daughter doesn�t know how to handle the constant requests that she leave work to drive him to every doctor�s appointment.
Adult children are grappling with everything: medical needs, insurance, finances, practical arrangements, psychological issues � and on top of all of that, there are Halachic ramifications including the tightrope walk of doing all of this without neglecting the Mitzvah of Kibud Av V�Eim.� I speak to these caregivers, and they tell me straight out � the responsibility is terrifying.
Is that who this event is for?� Adult children whose aging parents require intensive intervention?
Milka: Definitely, the main focus is on caregivers: children or relatives of seniors who require intensive care, or who are just starting to lose their independence.� Many people whose parents are still healthy also attend, to gain the knowledge that they�ll need before a crisis hits.� In addition to the numerous presentations geared to those primary groups, we will also be offering one crucial session for healthy people in their 50�s and 60�s, presenting very real things that they can do for themselves, to protect their own future peace of mind � things like setting up estates and trusts, and legally identifying their wishes with regard to long-term care.
This kind of conference has not been done anywhere since your original debut. How do you plan to make this event a unique and rewarding experience?
Milka: This conference is very different than the �usual�, because it�s built on real experiences and real feedback from real people. In addition to the feedback that we got after our last conference, we�re basing our presentations on the hundreds of eldercare-related questions that come into the Achiezer office on a yearly basis.� We�ve also reached out to Mrs. Gittie Neufeld for help with the planning; her extensive, ongoing experience with her own parent makes her an invaluable resource.� We know that if you�re giving up your Sunday to attend a conference, you want to hear something good � and so we�re doing everything in our power to create a conference that addresses real needs.
What kind of information will you be presenting, and in what format?
Milka: We�re going to be reaching into every aspect of eldercare, using a variety of formats.� Just to give you an idea: There will be a panel discussion featuring an eldercare attorney, an insurance expert, and a financial planner, that will address Medicaid, Medicare, estate planning, and more.� We�ll be doing another panel about different living options: living at home with a home health aide, moving to an assisted living center, moving in with a child�� There will be a comprehensive presentation on dementia: recognizing the symptoms, knowing when and how to intervene, handling the parent/child relationship in such a situation, and more.� There will be a session about getting support for the caregiver, and a session about handling end-of-life issues and critical care in hospital situations.� The conference will close with a powerful keynote session by Rabbi Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro and Rabbi Yaakov Bender, who will discuss the delicate balance between playing the roles of �take-charge caregiver� and �respectful child� at the same time.
Will people be able to attend all of the sessions, or must they pick and choose?
Milka: Several of the sessions will run concurrently, but many of them will be repeated so that you can attend the ones that you missed.� We�re also looking into options of recording the sessions, and making them available online after the event.
Where do the vendors come in?
Eli: In addition to the sessions, the conference will include a tremendous vendor showcase which will include everything: rehabilitation and managed care centers; medical devices and services; home health providers; accessibility and safety products; insurance, legal and financial companies; and more.� Just by walking around, caregivers can gain a huge amount of ideas and information � from something as simple as learning that there is a service that delivers pre-packaged medications divided into bubble-wrapped, dated containers, to something as life-changing as learning that there�s a company that can cut all of the red tape involved in applying for Medicaid, cost-free.� None of these vendors are there just to give out free pens and magnets; they�re there to introduce people to a product or service in an educational way.� Each vendor is an expert in his or her field, and is ready to offer a wealth of information.
Is this conference geared specifically towards members of the Five Towns/Far Rockaway community?
Eli: Achiezer�s focus is certainly on the Far Rockaway Five Town�s community, but it�s definitely not exclusively for them!� The location that we chose, the LaGuardia Plaza Hotel, is located conveniently close to Brooklyn and Queens, and the information which will be presented is not location-specific. At our first conference three years ago, we had attendees from all over the place � as far away as Florida and Canada � and they all found it to be relevant and worthwhile.
Definitely sounds worthwhile!� Any final message that you�d like to convey?
Eli:� This type of event was done only once before, and the feedback that we got then was that it�s a �can�t miss� event.� It�s a one-time deal; the knowledge that this one event offers is invaluable for anyone navigating this chapter of their lives. You don�t want to miss it.
Rabbi Bender: The common denominator that we hear from people facing this battle is a lot of helplessness, a lot of strife.� Our goal in this conference is twofold: To provide people with Chizuk and empowerment; and to give them the resources they need to deal directly with the challenges that they�re facing. Most of all, we want to show people how to handle this situation in the most positive way possible.� We want them to know that eldercare is not a burden; it�s an opportunity.
3 Responses
Milka does it again! This looks amazing.
This is a tremendous help for adult children struggling with aging parents. Rabbi Saks from Lakewood recently started Red Carpet Home Services to address some of these issues in the NJ area. I can’t thank him enough.
What a great service for the community! Milka is the best