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I always tell my wife, wear what you have in the closet that is appropriate for the occasion. If you have nothing appropriate in the closet, go buy it. Don’t worry about everyone else and what they are wearing.
You might be motivated to meet the guy. True. But your motivation might wane after meeting his parents. If that happens, can you tell the shadchan, his parents are domineering, judgemental and obnoxious I’m not interested any longer?
Girls meet the parents first? Wow, I must really be out of touch.
Forget the book Passover Plot. According to their warped interpretation of the 53rd Perek of Yeshaya (the ever “famous” Isiah 53) our killing him was a direct fulfillment of a prophecy. Without our killing him, they have no salvation and are damned for all eternity. They should be thrilled we killed him. However, they like to have it both ways. The salvation his death granted them as well as an eternal scapegoat for killing him. For 2000+ years, they have had their cake, and have been eating it too. The Jew has been their whipping boy for 2000 years and nothing the galach in rome says will change that mentality, the jews continued dismissal of all claims made by and about him is the eternal proof that he was not the jewish messiah and it bugs the heck out of them.
This goes back almost 20 years…..
In Rockville Center LI there was a cafe called Timepiece Cafe. A friend of mine ALWAYS went there on a first date. In the space of a week he went with three different girls and the 3rd time, the guy at the coat check exclaimed “you have to teach me your tricks bro, three different good looking girls in one week”.
“You have to be yourself”
Ditto. You can not and should not worry about what they want you to be like. You simply must be yourself.
If the pope wants this renewed declaration to have any teeth, he might want to start by deleting some of the more blatant anti Jewish sentiment expressed in his bible. For example….
The supposed self-condemnation where the Jews supposedly take on themselves and their offspring an eternal blame for the death of Jesus – found in the book of Matthew 27:25,
OR
Paul’s statement in 1 Thessalonians 2:15 that Jews are “hostile to all men”.
OR
The statement in Revelation 2:9 and repeated in 3:9 that the Jews are a “synagogue of Satan”.
OR
Johns “complimentary” statement that declares that Jews are the “children of the devil” found in John 8:44.
Until then the chief galach of the “religion of peace” has a long way to go before convincing me that he and his co-religionists can tolerate Jews in this world.
If the shidduch situation is as you describe it today, then I propose all first dates be with the mother of the boy and not the boy, a side benefit is that you wont have to send a picture.
Pumper. A crazy mother in law is one thing. A son who cant stand up to his mother is not a crazy mother in law problem, it is a flawed husband problem. Why get involved with such a guy at all.
“If you don’t give a picture, it seems as if there is something to hide”
Since just about every bachur is the best in the yeshiva and is looking for support, I think it is only proper that they attach the last three chaburas that they gave to their profile. If he cant or wont, can we can assume he is hiding something? Is the next step, having all shidduch profiles notarized?
I think I good way to stop the silliness in asking for pictures if if girls would get together and use the same photo.
Noticable Cs? I went to the coach website, and had I seen the pattern on a shoe and was not on the coach site, I wouldnt have those were “c’s” let alone coach shoes. If you think people know that you are wearing coach shoes, and it makes you feel good to wear such shoes (especially if people understand the “chashivus” of such shoes) and they look good and are comfortable, wear them. If you wear them because you think the average yeshiva guy knows you are wearing coach shoes, you may as well buy a pair of flats in payless.
Dress like you always do. This is 20 years ago, but I (male) was always told to dress as if I was going to shul on shabbos.
Just an aside, unless the guys has 1)sisters into these things and 2)telling what and how to look out for it, I doubt the average yeshiva guy knows Coach flats from a Coach bus.
If it is brachos you want. Yehi Ratzon that you find your bashert before purim so that your visit to Rav Carlebach will be for a bracha that your engagement period go smoothly and that you are zoche to build a beautiful family.
Its also in our nature to say no when an unreasonable demand is made. If you are uncomfortable with the request for a picture, say, I’m sorry, that is not something we do in our family.
Is that gibberish or gibberoosh? Gibberoiysh?
Why bother with pictures on a profile. Just send a copy of the yearbook to all yeshivos every year and they can reference the picture when necessary. (This is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek)
Its been discussed in a number of threads already, but I’m not looking for them.
I would ask though. “Strictly required”? By whom? I have seen dozens of shidduch profiles (I hate the term resume) and only once did it include a picture which was placed there at her own discretion.
If it has a cholem it is pronounced torah. if it has a choylem, it is pronounced toyrah.
When I was growing up Ed Norton worked in the sewers of Brooklyn. Now he works in Hollywood.
That would be toiroo or is that toroo, perhaps its touro? I suspect it would be best if everyone just followed their family mesora, unless you have a mesoyra or a mesoiroo, of course, it also depends on how you pronounce the reish, do you roll the r? Perhaps you do. Perhaps you dont have a reish (rhymes with race) in your alphabet, only a raish (rhymes with rice).
PATH is cleaner, quieter, roomier, more pleasant a ride, way more pleasant conductors, more efficient and much better at maintaining its schedule than the NYC transit system.
If its the lyrics that move you, say the psukim without the coopted rock/pop/broadway/country/r&b tunes.
Same reason why people rubberneck an accident scene.
Socks do a wonderful job buffing shoes especially the larger sizes where you can wear like a glove and really work a good shine.
I think she means the life insurance fraud arrests.
“…and then there are some who display publicly what they
shouldn’t”
In which case, its NOT discreet. Which takes us back to the comment that started this.
….and some seem to look for things.
Shvartze Volf.
Assuming the alternate meaning for “eating out is true, does it make sense that one is asking if it is ok or proper for respected rabbanim to do so?
I guess we shop in different stores.
From my vantage point on line, I have found that the customer more often than not, is the cause for the delay, not the store.
GAW. So, are you answering the last question? Are you citing a source that implies the opposite of the first statement? Are you merely throwing out info?
GAW. This time I specifically am addressing you. You cite the Rambam and SA. What conclusion do you draw from those words. Did you cite them lihagdil torah ulihadera? Did you cite them in response to a comment someone made? Is this cited ALA “linda richmond” here is a Rambam, “discuss amongst yourselves”?
There is an assumption here that the store is the cause for the delay. Perhaps it is the customer who buys what they believe is a sale item, only to find out upon checking out that they took the wrong size, flavor, brand and are trying to get the store to honor sale anyway. Now that the delay is due to a customer error, would you change your opinion? Short of physically moving along a customer who is in the wrong, what do you expect a store to do, even if it DOES take a long time for a supervisor to show up.
So, you are advocating someone become an achzar and ignore a takanas chachamim to take care of his children? (the chiyuv to support his wife is an independent chiyuv which is not even discussed in the Rambam here). Do you think the Rambam you cite advocates doing that? Is there is section of the Rambam or do any of the nosei keilim add, “aval lilmod torah, hakol shari”?
I dont have a gemara kiddushin in front of me. Can you please give a mareh makom so that I can see it later? Rashi or tosfos diveri hamaschil…….? Another Rishon on the daf? Thanks.
In your opinion. What are the 5 species of grain?
I’m not sure what Rashi and Tosfos specifically you are reffering to on 29b kiddushin. i assume it is on the gemaras answer “ha lan, viha lihu”. Which opinion says one may abandon his family to learn torah?
Which of these definitions of abandon, are permitted for talmud torah and how do you see it from rashi/tosfos?
Definition of ABANDON according to Merriam Webster:
transitive verb
1
a : to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent
b : to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in <abandon property>
2
: to withdraw from often in the face of danger or encroachment <abandon ship>
3
: to withdraw protection, support, or help from <he abandoned his family>
4
: to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly
5
a : to cease from maintaining, practicing, or using
Well…..if the reason for calling the supervisor is because you are 100% certain that the cookies should have come up at $2.29 and it comes up for $2.69 and you are making people wait a long time for the 40 cents, perhaps you are better off paying and going to the customer service desk. Its what you would want others to do, and as hillel said, man disani lach…..
was the furlough only for 12 hours?
Wolf. Excellent suggestion. Would be a defacto method of enforcing many of the “wedding takanos”.
file a permit with the buildings dept.
metrodriver I’m sure there is a joke in there, I just dont get it.
I’m not familiar with any specific gemara where any Amora “abandoned” their family. It doesn’t sound like the torah way to “abandon” your family, even for limud torah. Would you say Rabbi Akiva abandoned his wife? Yaackov Avinu was punished for going away to learn for 22 years and not performing kibbud av, and he left with his parents “blessings”. please refer to a specific gemara, I’ll be happy to come up with an appropriate term. Abandonment, doesn’t sound appropriate.
Looks like someone got out on parole.
I wasn’t old enough to drive, still remember helping my father put the chains on the car tires. And the milk man who came every day and took the empties and left full bottles in the little silver box by the door. I’m sure my parents didn’t register me for kindergarten a week after my bris either.
I’m not sure if abandonment is the appropriate term.
I joined a chabura and have a chavrusa (as part of the chabura). I have found that when I have a responsibility to a chavrusa and chabura I make less excuses and dont miss. 10 years and 4 massechtos later, it ranks as one of the best decisions I have ever made. 5AM was hard in the beginning, but after 6 months it got easy. It was tough to commit to 1.5 hours of learning for myself every day with the responsibility to my wife and kids, including learning with them every night. At 5am, I have very few scheduling conflicts 🙂
I have a shidduch profile from a female who calls her “religious affiliation” modern orthodox machmir. The fellow who it was passed to is asking me to define. I cant. I have no clue. Obviously, I must ask the female what she means, but since this is a “standard form” and she just checked a box, what is the intention of this term?
Not sure about the team, but it will be a lot more fun to watch spike lee.
He is now two years older.