Zaphod Beeblebrox

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Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 180 total)
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  • in reply to: Who’s better Yossi green or MBD #2158308
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Personally I’ve never been such a fan of Yossi, while MBD is the premier jewish talent. I never really connected to Yossi’s songs, while MBD really rocks my neshoma. Not even a close call by me.

    Additionally, I once met Yossi’s grandson (really interesting guy. Like, really, really, interesting.), and he told me that while his grandfather has worked extensively with MBD, Yossi himself wouldn’t compare himself to the great MBD, saying quote “I couldn’t hold a solitary candle to such an insanely talented artist”. Do with that what you will.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2158311
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Then why did you? Shoitah. Let me tell you something about yourself that you probably don’t know: you’re not a cat. You’re the human equivalent of pickle Rick, if pickle Rick was a poorly evolved Vogon meshed with a particularly ugly ravenous bugblatter beast.

    in reply to: Quick Quote from Alexander Lukashenko #2158312
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Why would he be a mamzer? His parents were technically legally married (I think).

    in reply to: Quick Quote from Alexander Lukashenko #2158313
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Why would he be a mamzer? His parents were technically legally married (I think).

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2157875
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @zen

    It used to be mostly harmless. But ever since this metal dude starting following me everywhere, it’s become more and more risky. I have to turn him off to make sure he doesn’t talk to the plane and make it commit suicide. You laugh, but it wouldn’t be the first time. It’s honestly made really nervous on past flights. That’s when I first came up with pan galactic gargle blasters. A couple of those, and you’ll never panic again.

    To all those who are wondering where I am, I’m currently boating on Damogran on my way to France. Can’t tell you what’s gonna go down there yet, but stay tuned. I have a major announcement. The signal will be a wild whoop in major thirds.

    in reply to: What is Delta Airlines Cancellation policy #2157873
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Why would you pose this as a question if you already know the answer? Unless you’re just an over enthusiastic follower of the Socratic method.

    in reply to: Quick Quote from Alexander Lukashenko #2157870
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @shimonnodel

    First hand accounts actually indicate that Riddle was never in full control, nor was he ever actually a ruler. However, he did control much of Britain from behind the scenes, so I suppose you are somewhat correct.

    Modern historical accounts will drone endlessly about his villainous acts, but we all know history is written by the victors, in this case a group of mindless cult members under the sway of a dead man and his sycophantic lieutenant. In truth, Riddle was a fearless leader of his people, a true kanoiy dedicated to bringing the growing trend of widespread assimilation to a halt, as well as stopping unlawful geirus. His acts of bravery and dedication will be remembered for many generations to come. RIP Riddle. Yehi zichro Baruch.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2156266
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    What do you think?

    in reply to: We must stop the hostile takeover of YWNCR #2156267
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    PUBLIC DISCLAIMER: I do not have any connection to hashem says no. He was not the cat I was referring to. Although he sounds like he might be experiencing a similar issue.

    in reply to: BIG PROBLEM NEED HELP!! #2156268
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    You don’t have a dog. You’re scared of dogs because you think you’re a cat.

    in reply to: Have Seminaries outlived their purpose? #2156269
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    My sister is reading this over my shoulder, and would like you all to know that she is insulted and vehemently disagrees with all of you.

    As a former seminary graduate myself, I would like to make it known that I agree with her.

    Also, she told all her friends about this thread, and they too would like to make their disagreement known.

    in reply to: Let’s all argue about something stupid this time #2155907
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @pawpatrol No, I do not mean fruity. I mean froody. As in, ‘Hey, you sass that hoopy Zaphod Beeblebrox? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.’ “Froody” being the adjective form of “frood”.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2155911
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @ dontmindme again, there was nothing wrong with your post. Please reread my previous post on this matter for further clarification as to my intent.

    And if you really think that the things I am writing are any less intelligent than other threads and that my threads are a waste of time then:
    A) you haven’t been reading other threads very carefully.
    B) you’ve never made actual use of your time, so you don’t realize that if you’re wasting time then you’re wasting time, and
    C) you don’t have to open my threads.

    in reply to: Help! #2155912
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    After the way you spoke to your aunt Brenda last week? Not a chance.

    in reply to: Let’s not get our hopes up #2155914
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I duly apologize. It will not happen again. But actually, I wrote that before I changed my screen name. And have written other serious posts. If you look hard enough you’ll find them. Like, really hard.

    in reply to: Dental Insurance #2155921
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @CTLawyer
    Wow! I will actually be in Budapest as well sometime mid-March. Maybe I’ll be zocheh to meet you! (I get the impression that you’re the type to wear a name tag.) Just look out for the guy with a covered birdcage on his shoulder!

    in reply to: Let’s not get our hopes up #2155924
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Additionally, my “which Sesame Street character are you” thread was done in complete sincerity.

    in reply to: Let’s all argue about something stupid this time #2155209
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @PawPatrol
    Yes, tomatoes are indeed fruit. And yes, that does make ketchup a smoothie. And no, that does not mean you should be drinking ketchup. And yes, that does mean that ketchup is froody.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2155208
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @zen
    This time I wasn’t flying Vogon interplanetary. But some of the stewardesses were just as bad. Not exactly a heart of gold if you know what I’m saying.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2154575
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Gut voch to all.

    @yungermanS
    Because then I would still be walking, and shabbos would probably not have been as enjoyable.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2154501
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Thank you, that’s very kind.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2154470
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @dontmindme, I have an even better idea. YWN should start putting spelling/grammar restrictions on posters. If you can’t post coherently, then don’t post.

    (I am not saying that your post was incoherent. I am saying I just think it would be a better idea in general. If an 8 year old can post coherently, there’s no reason for us not to let him to. There’s plenty reason for his parents not to let him to, but not us.)

    in reply to: Help! #2154469
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Amen. May that time come speedily in our days.

    in reply to: Stupid Planes #2154468
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I am not going to Maine. And I am not going to Eretz Yisrael either. But I will be going there on Monday. And aisle seats are only OK if the person by the window has good bladder control.

    in reply to: Let’s all argue about something stupid this time #2154149
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Yes indeed, we all miss pba (at least, those of us who remember who he is). But there actually was such a thread a while back started by one of the mods, no less.

    in reply to: Telshe Cleavland or Chicago #2153632
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Yes but the Telshe Cleveland campus (btw it’s actually in wickliffe) is also right next to a gigantic church from which bells can be heard tolling at every hour. Could lead to some bad hashpaos. Perhaps that is what the OP meant when he called it less shtark.

    in reply to: Mods? Mods? #2153592
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Hello Mods. My mother taught me that it’s polite to start a conversation by inquiring after the other persons welfare. So, how are you doing?

    With that out of the way, could you pretty please change the word “brochure” in my last post to “bochur”? Thank you very kindly. Have an easy fast, and have fun dealing with the twenty or so Jan. 6 threads that will surely pop up in the next few days. For that alone, you are heroes.

    in reply to: When should bochurim start dating? #2153499
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    If there is a heter to wait until 24 (I heard 25) if one is learning, then what is there to really argue about in regard to bochurim being required to get married earlier? A brochure is someone who by definition is learning. Unless it just means any young man, but here on yeshiva world I don’t think we classify such shkutzim as Jewish, let alone bochurim. Just to clarify, by we, I mean you.

    in reply to: Help! #2152494
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @coffeeaddict
    If my son was common saychel I would have been in aveilus a long time ago.

    in reply to: Help! #2152362
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Yes, @ymribiat, pan-galactic gargle blasters have been most instrumental in helping me get through this difficult time. Your knowledge of my culture makes me feel less alone, and for that, Zaphod thanks you.

    in reply to: Help! #2152360
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @coffeeaddict

    YOUR’E the one who killed him?!! When you said you vanquished a troll I thought you meant common saychel

    in reply to: Help! #2151302
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    My bad, you’re right. Also he’s a big supporter of YU. I don’t know what I’m going to do about him.

    in reply to: So I’ve been thinking… #2130752
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    We speak as one on this matter.

    in reply to: IS THE TINTIN COMIC BOOK KOSHER? #2130599
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @avira I didn’t say that dogs are assur. I said that little white dogs are assur. Anything smaller than a beagle is basically a really loud cat. Cats are animals commonly associated with witchcraft and are therefore maaras ayin.

    in reply to: IS THE TINTIN COMIC BOOK KOSHER? #2130535
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Personally I feel as though there are many bad middos to be learned from the Tintin books. It glorifies violence, verbal abuse, idol worship, kol ishah, drugs and alcohol, and little white dogs. All of the above are assur, and is therefore unsuitable material for anybody, much less children.

    There innumerable inappropriate elements throughout the series, all of which can terrible influence on impressionable young minds. The Thom(p)son brothers’ antics leave one with a mocking disdain of law enforcement. Professor Calculus exhibits a seeming ability to wreak untold havoc, even creating weapons of mass destruction, and get away with it on the pretense of a hearing disorder. What good can possibly emerge from that? Captain Haddock epitomizes a kiddish club gone wrong, yet is portrayed as quite the lovable rogue.

    Tintin himself is not much of a role model either. In the books (and the movie), he is depicted as quite a young man, appearing not a day older than 16. Where are his parents? What kind of chinuch is this? A child may very well put the book down thinking that they too can simply gallivant around the world with no repercussions.

    I hope that I have convinced at least a small portion of you of the grave danger this terrible series poses to our youth. If even one parent reads this, and does not allow their child to read the books because of it, I will consider this time well spent.

    (I have only included a small portion of the many terrible habits and ideas prevalent in the series. There are many more, and I’d be happy to share them with anyone who is not yet completely convinced.)

    in reply to: So I’ve been thinking… #2130512
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    speak for yourself

    Thank you mods! 🤩😎

    in reply to: So I’ve been thinking… #2129913
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @common who said I was dead? Or was that just wishful thinking?

    in reply to: So I’ve been thinking… #2129776
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @coffeaddict that is a profound though to think indeed.

    in reply to: Dear Zaphod-New Advice Column! #2106205
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @Yserbius123

    The answer is for the president to not actually have any real power. Instead the planet should be ruled by a man living in a cabin in middle of nowhere together with his cat. You can now vote for whichever lizard you’d like without having to worry that your vote will actually have any effect whatsoever.

    in reply to: Dear Zaphod-New Advice Column! #2106203
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @5Tresident is someone who really knows where his towel is

    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    My personalities can fight if one likes mountain climbing and one doesn’t. Or any other example.

    in reply to: We must stop the hostile takeover of YWNCR #2100220
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Sure. When I said my roommate was a cat I was trying to catch people off guard and make a mockery of something or another. Whatever you say.

    And he doesn’t speak his mind. He calls nearly everything out as trolling, which I would define as trolling. It was not intended to be offensive. It was intended to get him to stop calling me a troll. If he is offended I apologize. If I’m right then I have nothing to apologize for.

    in reply to: Chaveirim, Yidden, and Lomdei Toirah, be malveh me your Oznayim #2100039
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @rebeliezer

    It does. But it’s not ivrit is my point. Yabia was saying that at this point just speak Hebrew, but a lot of yeshivishe shprach is not in fact Hebrew. To quote Abie rotenberg, “ there’s a dash of Aramaic, a linguistic potpourriiiiii (chorus vechulu).

    in reply to: We must stop the hostile takeover of YWNCR #2100032
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @commonsaychel
    Wow! I’m so proud of you. You’ve finally taken the first step toward admitting that not everyone is a troll. Congrats. Although to be brutally honest, any thread centered on a dvar Torah by definition cannot be a troll post, because if it’s a troll post, it’s obviously not a real dvar torah. Let’s see if you can come up with just one more.

    As to your second, thought out, articulate, searingly logical point, I’m in complete agreement with you. To paraphrase my 8th grade rebbi, a troll is a troll is a troll is a troll. However, as I have quite reasonably pointed out to you on numerous occasions, I AM NOT A TROLL. As I have said above, troll posts are designed to be offensive and provocative, and my posts are neither. My goal is simply to inject a bit of humor into the conversation, hardly a punishable offense.

    I hope that now that I have explained this to you, you will cease and desist your dogged persistence in insisting upon my trollness. Perhaps you’ll even apologize, though I won’t hold my breath. Though Perhaps you understood this all along, and have some sort of personal vendetta against humor and satire, perhaps as a result of some childhood trauma. The possibility that your campaign against my posts is nothing more than projection is not one I’d rule out very quickly.

    And maybe, just maybe, the truth behind your words lies in the fact that in fact, the biggest troll here is none other than YOU. After all YOUR posts certainly fall under the commonly accepted definition of a troll post. They’re rude, offensive, unprovoked, and provocative. You insert them into nearly every conversation in the hope of accomplishing nothing other than to get everyone else upset. Did I discover your secret? I’m sorry for blowing the whistle on you like that. Don’t bother denying it, we all know the truth. We didn’t even have to think very hard to realize this.

    It’s just common saychel.

    in reply to: We must stop the hostile takeover of YWNCR #2099965
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    There’s no a.k.a about it. I am not a troll, and I demand an apology for being called one. If you’d like you can write on all my threads, in caps, that I am a social satirist (level 8), and therefore people should not respond.

    The New Oxford American Dictionary defines a troll (second definition), as, and I quote, “A person who makes a deliberately offensive or provocative online post.” Please explain how humor or satire falls under this category. Or, if you’d like, simply find any post that I’ve made that is trollish according to this definition.

    You also never responded to one of my previous posts, so I’ll repeat the challenge: find 5 recent threads, none of which can have been started by you, that are NOT troll threads. I’ll wait.

    in reply to: Supreme Court Ruling Over Gun Conrol #2099961
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I’d say go with the Glock 17. It’s slightly smaller, lighter, and has less recoil. It’s extremely accurate. My personal faves however have got to be the beretta 92m or the sig sauer P328. Two of the best made pistols ever.

    If you want a little more power, I’d suggest going with a colt 1911 .45.

    in reply to: Chaveirim, Yidden, and Lomdei Toirah, be malveh me your Oznayim #2099934
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Speaking just Hebrew would be zionishdik, and not in the spirit of the yeshiviskeit we are trying to accomplish. But if you can find me one chiloni guy, who’s never stepped foot inside a Beis medrash, and he knows what Lechoirah means, then we will consider it.

    in reply to: Supreme Court Ruling Over Gun Conrol #2099935
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Yes.

    in reply to: We must stop the hostile takeover of YWNCR #2099905
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    What point? What case? What about an apology? Or, better yet, what about a sabbatical?

    in reply to: Big issue-please advise #2099906
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    you can say that mental illness is an oines, so great hes patur. My couch is still gone. How do I convince him that he’s not a cat?

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 180 total)