Zaphod Beeblebrox

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 61 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Hey would you look at that, Gary’s an intellectual. Who would’ve guessed?

    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    This tempest in my mind
    Doth from my senses take all feeling else
    Save what beats there

    -Lear, King Lear
    William Shakespeare

    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Are you insinuating that I have multiple profiles? I’m deeply wounded

    in reply to: JOKES #2068496
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Similar to the prison joke:

    A newbie is in prison and he hears one guy yell out 29! And everybody bursts out laughing. Another man gets up and yells 96! And everyone again bursts out laughing. So he asks the guy next to him, what’s going on? The man replies, these guys have been in here so long that they just have numbers for all the jokes.

    So the newbie gets up and yells 134!

    The whole place goes nuts with laughter, people are falling off their chairs, it’s crazy. The newbie turns to the guy next to home and asks what on earth just happened?!

    With tears of laughter still running down his face the guy replies: we’ve never heard that one before!!

    in reply to: Renaming the Republican Party #2061474
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @ujm +1

    in reply to: profound question #2059603
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Ubiqutin if you’re talking about me, that really wasn’t my intention at all, I happen to find conversations like this interesting. I just wanted to know if cs was saying he’s going over to the dark side. If he was, this probably wasn’t the best way to do it.

    in reply to: Is it time to leave America #2059605
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Not even sure where to begin here. Like many other people, I too experienced an anti Semitic attack, nothing too serious, just some crazy people yelling at me a couple of times in stores. Guess what? I dealt with it. I had absolutely no problem getting in these peoples faces and standing up for myself, and I felt safe while doing so. And In every case, management and spectators had my back. You can wax poetic about Israel all you want but the facts are that when there, I feel a lot less safe simply walking down the street, or going on the train, because there I actually have to worry about getting stabbed or pepper sprayed, or getting a rock thrown at me or what have you. And I know for a fact that while many of you would strongly stand up for yourselves in America, in Israel you’d be scared to witless to do anything but run. Anyone who disagrees must be either extraordinarily brave or dumb. So much for the let’s move to Israel it’s safer argument.

    As for the omg we’re all gonna be wiped out if we stay here sentiment, sorry to burst your bubble but the average citizen isn’t as dumb or hateful as you might think. You just don’t see them on the news, because a bunch of people jumping up and down yelling slurs at Jews makes for much better footage. Most of the none Jews I’ve met have seemed genuinely interested in Jews and our culture, because they’re intelligent to know that that the idiotic diatribe they see on cnn can’t possibly be even a fraction of the bigger picture. This isn’t just middle aged business men btw. These are the college kids everyones convinced are getting brainwashed, and the young professionals who are actually employed taxpayers who’s say actually means something. So yeah, we aren’t in danger of extinction here, and I’m not just saying that cuz my head is in the sand.

    On a more humorous note, none of the feared pogroms and whatnot could ever happen without the backing of a person very high on the power totem pole. Assuming a person like that does come into power, here’s how the scenario plays out. If it’s a democrat and all of Hollywood is clamoring for blood, every redneck with a gun would be out in force, if not to protect us, then simply to oppose them. And if a republican is the one yelling, every millennial democrat with a chip on their shoulder will attack them with everything they’ve got, if only so they can livestream it and prove to all of tik-tagram that they love all people and are fighting injustice to whatever burnt out slogan helps them sleep at night. In short, take a chill.

    in reply to: profound question #2059401
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    This is indeed most profundedly profound. And just out of curiosity, by making this thread, are you saying you’re on board with the theme of stupid thread topics? Forgive me, I’m not good with other peoples satire.

    in reply to: How do I search for topics in Decaffeinated Coffee? #2057880
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I think there is a way to do it using chrome. However, trust me when I say that you are not going to find any useful information.

    in reply to: Israelis call it Chamin #2057660
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Sure but that doesn’t mean colors will 😀.

    in reply to: quiet when people are working #2057632
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @participant do you feel better now? Let it all out. Don’t hold back. You’re in a safe place. Shh. Hush darling. Everything’s gonna be just fine. Zaphod’s got you. There now. Shh.
    In all seriousness though, I feel for you, I really do. I sometimes encounter similar people (in a similar setting), and I just want to pinch them in the teeth. You hear that Greg? I’m talking about you. No one wants to hear about your dogs ophthalmologist appointment. We really don’t. Just be quiet. (I’m not joking this guy is like a seeing eye person for his dog. It’s ridiculous. Just looking at this guys face gives me a headache.)
    @participant, you in all honesty have my deepest sympathies. I know what your going through. I truly feel for you. Stay strong buddy. We’re rooting for you. May you not get arrested for assault and may all your Gregs get lockjaw.

    in reply to: Israelis call it Chamin #2057622
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    One of the biggest yesodos b’sugyas cholent is the color. A cholent lacking pigmentation is actually against Halacha, as I prove in my never to be released kuntris entitled A.C.U.M. Or Al Cholent U’Mesorah (it’s named after a title for goyim as a way to rub in their faces the fact that they are missing out on what’s widely considered to be among the foremost physical pleasures in all the known universe in their faces).
    Anyway, white meat in cholent can cause disfiguration in it’s appearance, which according to some poskim is a punishable offense and which everyone agrees makes your cholent pasul. As to the racism charges, apparently white on white violence isn’t a big deal. Just ask Whoopie Goldberg.

    in reply to: Mods, I know Im a handful, but I have lots of fun here #2057537
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @ejmrbro: I’m glad you’re having fun because thanks to you, few people outside your circle of cronies are.

    edited

    in reply to: Israelis call it Chamin #2057523
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Nah white meat in cholent just seems wrong

    in reply to: Why Whoopi Goldberg’s asserion was hurtful #2057441
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    See, but what I don’t get is, if race is defined solely on the basis of color, then
    a) there are no black Jews,
    b) there is no such thing as a African American albino (google it), and therefore they must have been kidnapped which spreads the cultural stereotype of black crime,
    c) all light skinned African Americans are actually tanned whites or Latinos and are therefore guilty of cultural appropriation whenever they celebrate black culture, and d) I’m not related to about half my family who have dark skin, because how can we be related if we’re not even the same race?

    in reply to: Its hard to be a redheaded goth #2057422
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Your sympathy is appreciated in during this rough time. May we soon merit to live in a world where all goths are treated as equals.

    On a positive note, we have now developed CGT, or critical goth theory, which we hope will be a useful tool to bring us closer toward equity for all of gothkind.

    in reply to: Israelis call it Chamin #2057455
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @gadolhadorah, why do you think all those things are issues? It’s because of the disrespect so many yidden have for cholent. Cholent related issues are among the most serious issues our dor has ever faced. Only once these problems are resolved will we ever see the end of all our other issues.

    in reply to: Its hard to be a redheaded goth #2055875
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Lol I think I might have to change my screen name… Problem is, then I would have to change my bio as well, and frankly I don’t want to.

    in reply to: Its hard to be a redheaded goth #2055761
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @ymribiat is that in response to my screen name or is it just a thing of yours? I’ve noticed that you’ve written that on other threads as well.

    in reply to: Poll: How many user names does ejmguy have? #2055693
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I’m pretty sure these are all the same guy.

    in reply to: This is what I’ve been waiting for #2055556
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @ejmface: thank you for inspiring this post.

    in reply to: Do we not discuss twitter here #2053091
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Dont sully my good name with your keyboard.

    in reply to: Do we not discuss twitter here #2052963
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I’ll be honest…taking an ambiguous comment and getting people to respond about something completely different… respect.

    in reply to: JOKES #2051055
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Why doesn’t Poland have an ice hockey team?

    They all drowned during spring training

    in reply to: Protecting the innocent and false accusations #2047160
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @a_a_a nearly every incident that I have heard of happened with an older kid abusing a younger one. Why would putting a young child into contact with MORE potential abusers be beneficial in any way? Especially when you consider the fact that these children, placed in a scenario that calls for limited interaction with kids their own age, would logically have far less social skills, which in turn would lead to a sense of low self esteem thus making them bigger and easier targets than they ever could have been in the traditional classroom setting.

    in reply to: Get Over Ended Shidduch #2047060
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Tequila

    in reply to: Protecting the innocent and false accusations #2046945
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @a_a_a can you please explain what on earth you are talking about/what you are trying to say? I am so very lost.

    in reply to: Protecting the innocent and false accusations #2046885
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @n0m, First of all thank you!
    I actually wasn’t thinking about serial predators when I wrote that, although I did take them into account. Most of the incidents I was referring to actually happened between children with no adults involved. The older kid who did it in one case was not a serial offender but rather the exact scenario of seeing a vulnerable younger kid and not being able to resist the temptation. If there would’ve been cctv present he never would have dared, but he managed to find a blind spot. Thankfully the victim was somehow mature enough despite his age to come forward, because his parents drilled into him from a young age what to do ch”v in this exact scenario. If more parents acted like these ones, perhaps this wouldn’t be as big a problem as it is.

    in reply to: Protecting the innocent and false accusations #2046725
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    To me it seems that putting windows and glass doors in therapists offices wouldn’t be very conducive to productive sessions. Although the risk of anything untoward happening is significantly lowered, many people, especially children with low self esteem, would not be able to openly express themselves in a more open area where anyone can just look in and watch. The idea of cctv in every room seems like a much better idea, but only if there’s a trusted person outside of the school or office who is administrating them. Cameras are pretty much useless if an abuser can simply delete or doctor a recording at will. People need to know that if something happens they will be held accountable, with no way of covering this up.
    However, just cameras may not be enough. When I was in school they had cameras in every conceivable place(to the dismay of students trying to get away with things), and even with these precautions I still know of several incidents that happened just in the last few years, and I’m sure there’s many more that I don’t know about. Cameras have blind spots, and a determined predator will always find and exploit them. IMHO, the best possible precaution is to do more than destigmatize these issues in adult circles, where everybody is already pretty aware, now more than ever, of what can happen. The real issue is the children. If children will be afraid and unaware that this can unfortunately be a common occurrence, they will never come forward and the cycle will continue. Parents need to have conversations with their children, uncomfortable as it may be, and educators should speak openly about it in their classes. Schools should have assemblies discussing the issue frankly which will also serve the purpose of hopefully instilling fear in predators as well as spreading awareness.
    I don’t expect anyone to take my suggestions into account, it’s too uncomfortable and ‘if we talk to the teachers we can stop it’. Those people need to man (or woman) up and do what needs to be done, before more of our innocent children are hurt.

    in reply to: Conspiracy theories #2044351
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    The world is flat, or at the very least it used to be flat but some powerful sonic wave in space caused it to curl up into a ball, and every year it uncurls a little more, which is causing global warming.

    Brought to you courtesy of Kyrie Irving and Al Gore

    in reply to: Jewish Celebrities #2038034
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    First of all, I think we have different definitions of what a jerk is. Second, we’re obviously not talking about the ones who are rabid leftists. There is an extremely famous actor of jewish descent who votes republican and is a conservative. And there are ones like Adam Sandler who publicly takes pride in his Jewishness, forget about the Chanukah song, there’s a video on YouTube of him publicly shaking lulav!

    in reply to: What do you do to earn a living #2037426
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    @philosopher I use Logic Pro from apple. You can only run it on a Mac, but it’s the best program I’ve worked with and it’s great for beginners too, very easy to learn.
    And only my other head is the president.

    in reply to: Concert in Israel #2037424
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Look at it from a different perspective, I heard a ton of shidduchim got made that night!😂

    in reply to: Jewish Celebrities #2034272
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Sure. It was Rabbi Bethany Lopinsky of the Beth-El of greater Iowa. Any more brilliant questions?

    in reply to: My day #2034268
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Aha, aha… so what you’re saying is, that you have absolutely no life whatsoever. Aha. It explains a lot, then.

    in reply to: What do you do to earn a living #2034020
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    I work as an music producer and studio manager.

    in reply to: Jewish Celebrities #2034014
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Just to make it clear, the question is not about frum celebrities within our community. Nor is it about politicians and scientists, as they are not celebs just because they contributed to society.(not saying that celebrities contribute to society.) Rather it is about famous people in the entertainment industry who are of jewish descent.

    Huju: it’s nice to know that you like celebrities too! After all only jerks like celebrities, and you’re definitely putting yourself in that category by labeling millions of people you’ve never met. Don’t be so bitter, it’ll help you in life.

    in reply to: Jewish Celebrities #2030786
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    They have a positive impact because these days to a huge number of Americans (and other nationalities), every word that comes out of these peoples mouths is treated like scripture. So when they publicly display pride in their roots, albeit in a twisted manner, this could lead others to similar sentiments. Obviously there will always be anti semites, and I’m by no means saying that this will stop it, because it won’t, but many people will find it hard to hate on Jews when their favorite actor/director etc. is jewish.

    in reply to: YWN ads #2030608
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Maybe, but to people who are willing to give, it should be effective even if they were toned down a bit. And if you really think that people won’t give unless they know every gory detail, you could still tone down the ads on the homepage, and have all the disturbing parts there once the link is clicked on.

    in reply to: Bein hazmanim struggles #2030520
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    It’s a great idea, but many bachurim are not interested in going to a ‘learning’ camp or program as it were, and to quote yogi Berra, if people don’t wanna come, how are you going to stop them? Many bachurim look forward to bein hazmanim as the few weeks a year when they finally can take a break from yeshiva, and would not be thanking you for this initiative. Best of luck

    in reply to: NEW thread 4 amazing sayings and qoutes! #2030403
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Yogi Berra had some great lines, such as:
    Before I speak, I’d like to say a few words
    The future ain’t what it used to be
    I knew I was going to take the wrong train… so I left early
    You can observe a lot by watching
    If you come to a fork in the road, take it
    And my personal favorite, if you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up someplace else

    in reply to: NEW thread 4 amazing sayings and qoutes! #2030398
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    The guy who said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

    in reply to: Can a Jew own a gorilla? #2027466
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    [email protected] patrol Anyone who has never had any inclination to own a ?gorilla truly must look within themselves to try and reignite their clearly forgotten passion for life

    in reply to: Which Sesame Street character are you? #2027463
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Settle down, bert.

    in reply to: Can a Jew own a gorilla? #2027428
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    What is digifty?

    in reply to: Anti Jewish Awareness, is it healthy #2027316
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Maybe so, but when it’s a slow news day it’s always good to have that to fall back on

    in reply to: Tznius and kosher pastimes for teenagers #2027247
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    That’s all nice and good, but it wasn’t the question.

    in reply to: Music…Better? Worse? #2027192
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    It depends who installed the program to make the computer write the music. If it’s a Jew it shouldn’t be an issue. If true AI is ever invented we may have to revisit this issue. To answer the OP’s question, all jewish music is terrible for one reason or another. The reason you’ll hear just depends on who you ask. Either it’s all goyish or it’s all unoriginal. You can’t win. And @tsbaum, what on earth is a ‘jewish’ emotion? According to you, taking non jewish songs should not be a problem at all, as long as the original song isn’t talking about something truly disgusting. Even love songs should be ok; the emotion coming through will make you feel love and longing, and all you have to do is make some lyrics about hashem and Torah and you’re all set!

    in reply to: Tznius and kosher pastimes for teenagers #2025522
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    What do you mean by ‘hanging out is hock’? And no, they should all be in the pizza shops together, maybe it’ll solve the shidduch crisis 🙂

    in reply to: Six Figure Salaries #2025156
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Participant

    Probably depends on how you define ‘survive’. There are many families who’s total net income is way less than a hundred grand, and they are still alive. If you meant can they survive without depending on government programs and reduced tuition costs, then yes you probably do.

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 61 total)