Forum Replies Created
And boom goes the dynamite.September 17, 2023 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm in reply to: The Rambam on the Linearity of Time, or Its Lack of Thereof. #2225873
I just realized that like this we can solve the argument everyone on here seems to be happening about Mashiach coming from the dead. Since all time is happening simultaneously, although the our perception of the present he is no longer alive, he is still alive at a time when he was still alive. Maybe Mashiach can time travel.
In response to the second of the OP’s questions, Allow me to answer your question with one of my own. There are many things in this world which we don’t understand, which we cannot comprehend. It is our innate duty, as men, as Jews, to ponder the questions that must be pondered, to direct our minds in the directions by which universal comprehension can be comprehended by our puny carbon based brains. We, as thinkers, as philosophers, as pontificators, and as pundits, must pugilistically, but never pompously, ponder. We must wonder at the marvels around us. Why are giraffes not purple? Would not purple be prettier? Or how about elephants? Personally, procurement of a purple pachyderm would please me. And yet, such marvels do not exist. Why don’t they exist? These are the questions we must ask. These are the questions we must answer. If people had three eyes and four arms, we would think that was normal. But we don’t so it’s not. It’s all about conditioning. Someone should totally make purple giraffes.
Does that answer your question?
If you’re so against them, why would you use that as your screen name?
A richly deserved edit. Kudos, my fine sirs.
I feel like I struck a nerve… Weight is something many of us struggle with. I mean, not me, personally, but a lot of people! No need to get triggered! I’m sure you are a perfectly wonderful person, no matter what. If you want that donut, then you go right ahead and eat it. Don’t feel guilty!
As for childish complaining… a) This is not complaining. This is social commentary on what I believe to be the shortcomings in our preferred modes of long distance transportation. I’m basically a journalist. I am contributing to my community’s welfare by keeping them updated on the current situation on the ground… in the air. And I’ll sue anyone who says otherwise.
b) it’s not childish, my mommy even told me so.
I’m back on a plane. It is still stupid. But this time I got a window seat. So it is marginally less stupid.
I hope you all are following along and taking notes on the relative stupidity of planes, and how those numbers can change based on various situations. There will be a quiz. Consequences for failure will be severe.
I’ll tell you why. Because most cars don’t float. That’s why.
I have tried that. Unfortunately they always end up learning from me instead.
That sounds like something an incredibly obese mammal would say.
It probably would have taken quicker. And smelled better.
Today I was on a plane again. My opinion has not changed. Planes are still stupid. Stupid planes that get delayed on the tarmac and stick me between two incredibly obese mammals. Good Shabbos.July 19, 2023 10:25 am at 10:25 am in reply to: YWN Coffee Room in 50 Years: A Trip up Memory Lane #2209536
Memory lane is a two way street. Down is the past, and up is the future. Remembering an action occurring up the street is what’s known as remembering the futurepast, although that term applys to the present as well, as any moment happening in the present will in the future will have been the past.
I’m afraid that the reason you have apparently will not start a thread in 50 years, can be explained by this thread that had only just gotten bumped off the page.
In Memoriam: Remembering Coffee Addict, troll vanquisher par excellence, who is still alive but apparently found something better to do with his time.
Started by: Zaphod BeeblebroxJuly 17, 2023 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm in reply to: YWN Coffee Room in 50 Years: A Trip up Memory Lane #2209094
But you will…
If they are an integral part of klal Yisrael, and our brothers, then that would mean that there is in fact a very large theological common ground. If there really is no theological common ground at all, then not only could they not be considered an integral part of klal yisrael, they would not be able to be considered part of klal yisrael at all, and by extension, not our brothers.
Since I assume that you don’t believe the second option, that would mean that there is in fact common ground upon which to argue, rendering your entire post moot by its own premise.
While you’re there, maybe you can get the Rav to look at your cell phone as well. It, too, is surely evil: after all, it has no innovation of its own and can only transmit the words that others have said (gasp)! Where’s the rachamim in that? The only possible explanation for such an obviously wicked device is that there must be a tiny little Machasheifah living in there. A Nazi Machasheifah.
This is just a shot in the dark here, but are you by any chance suffering from heberden nodules, bunionettes, or another similar type of possibly painful growth?
Additionally, while I am not chatGPT, I think I can answer your third question. While I am in no way qualified to do so, I hope the fact that I am neither a doctor, a lawyer, or a politician will serve as my credentials.
The reason why researchers are not diverting all of their time and money into your extremely specific problems is because they don’t know how deserving you are of having millions of dollars and man-hours devoted solely to the issues that affect you. If they met you, I have no doubt that all of the research on cancer and heart disease will immediately take a back seat so that the scientific community can focus exclusively on bunionettes etc.
I don’t think they are narrow minded. And I’m sure they have compassion for humanity. They simply appear to be under the obviously mistaken impression that children with leukemia should receive preferential treatment to over calcification. This is understandably horrific. To make matters worse, pharmaceutical corporations and the scientific community, as well as the whole of society, appear to be under the influence of this clearly insane notion as well, and are thus diverting the majority of their available funds to the resolving of the issues they deem important.
What an evil society we live in, where malevolent 24 year old medical researchers are getting paid more money to try and discover a cure for Alzheimer’s than they would be for trying to find non-invasive procedures to treat heberden nodules. One must truly question how such a severely warped society came into existence, a society where such diabolical modes of thought have become prevalent.
I suspect the involvement of the sitra achra.June 22, 2023 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm in reply to: The most pressing issue facing the Jewish community in 2023 #2202515
@n0m what part of it sounds idyllic?
No. You are stuck with us forever. Mwahahaha.
Were you dropped on your head consistently as a child or was it just that one time?
Oh, cuz what we have now isn’t groupthink.June 17, 2023 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm in reply to: The most pressing issue facing the Jewish community in 2023 #2200554
Yes. That was the point.
I went through this process recently. If you can prove that you are leaving the country within 14 days then you can get it with just a little bit of hassle. You’ll need to call the 1800 number for the U.S. passport office, and then try and get an appointment at any office reasonably close to you. This is the hardest part. The first few times I called they claimed they only had appointments available in Puerto Rico but people cancel their appointment, so I kept calling and got an appointment about an hour and a half drive from me. YOU CANNOT MAKE AN APPOINTMENT ONLINE, YOU MUST CALL THE NUMBER. THEY WILL NOT LET YOU INTO THE OFFICE WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT.
Once you get the appointment make sure that you have all your documents, including old passport, social, birth certificate, license, official passport photo and proof of departure, as well as the passport application which you can pick up in the post office I think. Make sure to get there early, as there is crazy security at these places. If your appointment is the same day as your flight they will do it on the spot, if not they will either mail it to you or you can come back and pick it up a day or two later. Don’t get it mailed as there’s almost no chance it will get to you on time; it’s annoying, but the best option is to drive back there, or they will give you a receipt that will allow someone else to pick it up for you, as long as you sign it or something, not totally sure because I just picked mine up myself. There will be some fee, not the cheapest but definitely way cheaper than hiring one of those agencies. Not sure if they accept cash but they do take care or checks as long as it’s in your name.
Hope this helpsMay 11, 2023 1:14 pm at 1:14 pm in reply to: Is “The” Yeshiva world news” some sort of Instagram? #2189655
Baruch Hashem, I see the OP has absolutely no clue what instagram is. Which is great. But maybe don’t include it in your title next time.
You’re letting me down, my child. I have no idea what any of that meant.
Grammatically speaking, one would ask, “what” is a walrus? “What” is a Vogon? “What” is common saychel talking about? We do not use “what” in reference to Zaphod. The correct term would be “why”. “Why” is Zaphod Beeblebrox? We hope that answers your question.
Head of the department of
Grammatically correct Zaphod
Wow, so much misinformation in this thread. Let me clear some things up. @Benjamen you can find the original requests in a thread called rants on demand. Also, it?! IT?! How dare you. I am a proud he/her. We can be contacted by creating a thread with our name in it, an approach you seem to have picked up just fine, so I’m not sure what you’re yelling about.
@wolf, thank you for that concise and mostly accurate history of my life.
@commonsaychel, first of all, I’m a litvak. I don’t go to the Mikva, except on special occasions, and I am vehemently opposed to the Tintin books, as I have pontificated extensively upon in a thread devoted to the subject. As usual, you have put 100 percent into being 100 percent wrong. Stupidhead.
@huju, you are absolutely correct. Thank you for continuing to be someone who can consistently be counted upon to uplift the conversation with your unparalleled and always accurate witticisms.
To answer your question, we must first determine several factors. What kind of kugel? When is the kugel being eaten? What, cosmically speaking, is a kugel in the first place? A kugel can be defined as a conglomeration of disparate ingredients combined and blended to form a pudding like substance. The primary ingredient may vary, but potatoes have traditionally been cast as the titular role by everyone except hippies, the kind of people who think that pineapple chicken is an acceptable alternative to cholent. It isn’t. Cholent cannot be replaced ever. But some people appear to have gotten the idea that kugel is on the same level as cholent, simply because they share the characteristic of being served on shabbos (or Tuesday, depending on which demographic you belong to). In this way we can compare college to a kugel. College is cool. It’s useful, and we are willing to exploit that usefulness to serve our needs. At the same time, we understand that it is secondary to actual higher education, yeshiva. So too, kugel is useful. We appreciate it. We sometimes even enjoy it. But always we remember that it comes second to that king of foods, that gastronomical delight, the nectar of the bochurim, the ambrosia of the Jews, cholent. Cholent is the yeshiva to kugels college.
Also, you never sent the resume. We would have known. We know all, and we know that you never mailed in you resume. So we did not respond.
As usual, I must commend you on the accuracy of your statements. I am indeed the only hope you have. However, humanity comprises only a small slice of my constituency, and for future reference, the term “futurepast savior of everything” would be preferable. I don’t know if it’s true, but my PR team tells me it looks better on the statue.
To answer your question, Zaphod can, may, and should be discussed and celebrated. Beeblebrox Inc., however, is a private entity not connected with my governing duties, and as such would earn me an additional several years in prison under one of the myriad incomprehensible galactic laws that I’ve apparently signed into being. Also, because Tyler Durden said so.
The first rule of Beeblebrox Inc. is: We do not talk about Beeblebrox Inc.
The second rule of Beeblebrox Inc. is: We DO NOT TALK ABOUT BEEBLEBROX INC.
Btw Mods, what’d you think of my poem? Loved it!
I wasn’t saying that Sartre and Kierkegaard were solely responsible for wokeness. But existentialism is very into the subjectivity of everything, which gave rise to moral relativism, in which there are no absolute moral wrongs, which is a defining characteristic of woke philosophy. If you’d like you can check out “Subjectivity is Truth”, by Søren Kierkegaard, and Essays in Existentialism, by Jean-Paul Sartre, to see what I mean.
However, I would agree with you that the present philosophy of the left is probably not what they had in mind, as the left is straying more toward moral absolutism, in which there are objective truths, albeit quite a twisted version of it (for more information on this, you can check out a research article done by people from the University of Toronto, entitled College and the “Culture War”, in which they bring proofs that this is now the case). I merely meant that their work laid some of the philosophical foundations for the advent of modern wokeness, as without first saying that everything is subjective, thus eliminating the commonly held perceptions of what defines a moral wrong, it would be impossible to get to the current twisted absolutism practiced by the left, where they now have created their own definitions of what constitutes objective morality.
ChatGPT was not consulted in any way in the writing of this post.
I do give lessons. I’m not sure what it is you’re trying to learn, but I can probably show you how not to do it, at the very least.
Not really sure what your second question means, it’s simply my name. I am Zaphod Beeblebrox I. My father was Zaphod Beeblebrox II, and my grandfather was Zaphod Beeblebrox III. It’s a very old and disreputable family name.
You’re very welcome! Thank you for using Beeblebrox Inc., and we hope to see you again. Your support is much appreciated.
The position of Thread-Bumper is currently open, due to some recent staffing changes. If you’d like to apply, please send your résumé’ to any address, in a Manila envelope marked Langley, PGGB. The postal service will take care of the rest.
Additionally, that’s not at all what sophistry means, but I’m guessing that was the joke. If it wasn’t, well, now someone’s being critical of your posts at last.
Yeah, yeah, very nice. Sartre was also one of the founding fathers of existentialism, which is one of the primary philosophies of wokeness. Our world is going to pieces, and he has a lot to do with it. So excuse me for not caring to much that he once said something smart.
You know exactly what time we get dismissed, Rebbi. I thought we agreed that you’d stop cyber bullying me if I didn’t tell the Menahel that you drink behind the dumpsters during recess. I’m putting thumbtacks in your chair tomorrow.
Mom, stop calling my Rebbi a criminal, it makes classes very uncomfortable for me.
Not sure why people decided that there isn’t a market for secular studies. Many lakewood parents send their kids to yeshivas without secular studies DESPITE the fact that they don’t offer it, because they are often very high level places, and places where their kids can really grow in yiddishkeit. Many such parents send their kids to GED programs outside of yeshiva. If a top yeshiva had secular studies they would still get a large crowd. A prime example of this is Yeshivas Emek Hatorah in Lakewood, also known as Rabbi Weinberger’s Yeshiva, which offers secular studies, and still has a huge crowd of top bochurim applying every year.
Bourbon and scotch have no nutritional value. They are, however, made from things that do have nutritional value, which is what I think you meant. If it is, then arak is sometimes made from rice, and I think the agave plant is edible as well. 96 wouldn’t be considered a min, because the roiv of it is pure alcohol.
I’d like to point out that when I saw your post, it made me mad. Who are you to presume what is and what isn’t funny? Now, by writing that, you offered up the opportunity to rant about subjective humor, which means that now there is something to rant about, which that by virtue of writing your post, you have rendered your post incorrect. Yeah. Think about that. Ponder it. How’s that for sophistry.
Personally, I appreciate the mods very much. I appreciate anyone who allows me to disseminate my thoughts to a wider audience, and the mods definitely fall into that category. For that, I thank them. In their honor, I have composed this short poem.
Thine courage doth shame the most valiant
Of Men, For
Were it not for thee,
The masses should fall into silence,
And I would be obscure.
The sacrifices that thou
Shall be regaled for aeons yet to dawn,
For thou are lionhearted,
Battered, by the gales of vituperative indignation.
For the way of the Mod
Yet lonely is his Path.
There’s a law? That explains so much. Although it would make sense that I’m above it. I’m far to froody to be bound by the restraints applicable to mere Man, Vogon, other assorted anthropoids etc. To be honest, from my angle, being above the law doesn’t seem so terrible at all.
No. No no no no no, no no no. I refuse to stoop to the level of those who pretend to be original thinkers, and are instead having their words spoon fed to them by a computer program that doesn’t even understand what it’s saying. Those people are sheep. I am not a sheep. You wanna know how I know that? Because I have thumbs, that’s how. Sheep don’t have thumbs. They’re too lazy to even type the URL in themselves, they just yell at Siri to tell AI to write something for them. Stupid sheep. People who use AI in any way other than facetiously are the reason that the world is as messed up and generally lazy that it is. They will cause the apocalypse. They will destroy the world with their stupidity. I will not be complicit in such a stupid ending to the world.
Before I get into it, I’d like to point out one thing. You didn’t forget his name. Nobody forgot his name. I’ve met people who don’t speak English, who’ve never even stepped foot in America, and who have no access to internet or media, and they know his name. So what’s up with that? Cut the garbage. Additionally his hair is not orange. His hair is blond. I know what orange hair looks like, believe me. Orange hair is the best hair, better than all the other hair colors, I’m telling you. There are millions and millions of people who wish that they could have orange or red hair, but they can’t. His skin, however, does have a bit of an orange tint, I’ll grant you that.
Ok. Whew. Against my better judgment (yeah right), here we go. There was a time when he was exactly what this country needed. He was arguably one of the best presidents for the Jews in recent history. And now he’s toast. Over, done, kaput. Something after the election snapped and he became bitter, even more self centered (somehow), and most importantly, wildly vengeful. He’s unstable. If he were to regain power today, then he probably wouldn’t get a single thing done, because he’d be too busy exacting revenge on every person who he ever thought wronged him. He would make a terrible president. Additionally, after keeping the company that he has recently, it’s easy to see that he is slowly becoming more and more right wing. You can’t just apologize and explain everything away.
Fine. So why is continuing support for him Bad for the Jews? Because everything has got to be bad for the Jews for some reason. It can’t just be objectively bad, oh no, that’s not good enough. Whatever, I’ll make an effort. Two reasons. First, it’s a bad idea for us to support someone who hangs around with neo-nazis. If you can’t figure out why, you’re dumb, and I’m not wasting my time explaining it. Second, there is no chance at all that he will win the general election. None. A small chipmunk could run against him, and that small chipmunk would win in a landslide. I don’t care if he has Gandhi as his running mate. It’s not happening. So, let’s assume we all support him, and then he loses to someone who will undoubtedly be very far removed from him. Now the whole world sees us as the type of people who publicly support someone who is widely considered to be racist, misogynist, sexist, and narcissist(ic), along with any other word ending in “ist” that you care to mention. And that looks very bad for us. Because now we are viewed as those things. And they already don’t like us very much, and this gives them further excuse not to like us, which is something we don’t want because they make the laws, and have more guns. Chipmunk for Prez.
I don’t know why you seem to be under the impression that I have the time or interest to go through your countless ramblings. You want disrespect? Well, that’s something that has to be earned. You can’t just walk up to somebody and say “hey you, with the two heads, roast me”. That’s not how this works. This isn’t the laugh factory. Do I look like a comedian? Maybe you’d know the answer to that if you got your head out of the sand, and stopped burying yourself in your absurd notions of ridiculous entitlement. Stop burying your head! It makes it hard to see.
Furthermore, when you say that posters are shying away from criticism, you imply that there is criticism to be made. Who are you to insult yourself like that? That’s my job. Stick to your job, whatever on earth that may be. Stupid entitled millennials. There, I called you old, is that insulting enough for you? Are you happy now, you diseased masochist? The sheer arrogance. Gosh.
Sophistry is not bad. Just because you don’t appreciate it when you can’t refute someone’s clearly wrong argument, that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Because who said that they’re wrong in the first place? If you can’t refute somebody, maybe they have a point.
Additionally, I’m not going to argue against one of my favorite hobbies. Sophistry is essential to the development of the logic and reasoning portions of the brain, and even if it wasn’t, I really enjoy it.
And don’t even get me started on what’s Bad For The Jews. If you ask the right, people, apparently every single action and event is Bad for the Jews. Politicians? Bad for the Jews. Money? Bad for the Jews. Lack of money? Bad for the Jews. Movies, other people, dogs, cats, scientists, chassidus, misnagdim, drinking, sobriety, media, lack of information, Bad for the Jews. Need I go on? Too bad. I’m not going to. Everything is Bad if you’re a pessimist. Dr. Zaphod’s prescription: don’t be a pessimist.
Thank you for your continued patronage. But I’m not gonna give you money for saving my life. If you’re only gonna save me for money, then you’re entitled to no monetary compensation. What kind of world are we living in, where people are only looking out for themselves? Where everything is a pro vs. a con? Where one actually has to stop and think before helping someone in need, in order to ascertain precisely what personal gain he will derive from it? It disgusts me. I’m vomiting. Truly, we all need some serious introspection into what has led to this sorry state of affairs. We must search deep in our collective souls, so that we may rectify this horrific shortcoming.
I hope that answers your question.
Hello, all. Due to unforseen circumstances, we have been unable to comply with your demands at this time. We apologize most deeply, and hope that the problem will soon be solved, allowing us to once again be your preferred company for idiocy. We thank you for your patience, and we would like you to know that we appreciate your continued support.
(A rant will be forthcoming as to the exact nature of this problem. It’s very ranteable.)
Hi. |hī| used as a friendly greeting or to attract attention.
Origins: natural exclamation: first recorded in late Middle English.
Two things: first of all, there are currently TWO light rail stations in close proximity to zhvill-mir, namely the shimon hatzadik and shivtei Yisrael stations. Adding another station at the midway way point would cause a tremendous time waster for everyone.
Second: your whole thing is that the Israeli government should take the transportation needs of chareidim into account. But they are currently trying to build a light rail line through bar Ilan, which would make transportation in a predominantly chareidi area exponentially easier, and they have been met with nothing but anger and protesting throughout the process. So why would they go out of their way to try and make transportation easier for a community that clearly would rather not have it?
That’s so weird, he told me yes.
Personally I’ve never been such a fan of Yossi, while MBD is the premier jewish talent. I never really connected to Yossi’s songs, while MBD really rocks my neshoma. Not even a close call by me.
Additionally, I once met Yossi’s grandson (really interesting guy. Like, really, really, interesting.), and he told me that while his grandfather has worked extensively with MBD, Yossi himself wouldn’t compare himself to the great MBD, saying quote “I couldn’t hold a solitary candle to such an insanely talented artist”. Do with that what you will.
Then why did you? Shoitah. Let me tell you something about yourself that you probably don’t know: you’re not a cat. You’re the human equivalent of pickle Rick, if pickle Rick was a poorly evolved Vogon meshed with a particularly ugly ravenous bugblatter beast.