Ex-CTLawyer

@Joseph
Divorced parents aren’t being held to a different standard. The court is merely setting down in its order who will pay for what part of the college costs. I have had divorcing parents agree that neither will be paying for post high school education for the children and the court puts this in the order as well, so one spouse can’t come back after the other.
Judges will look at the education and lifestyles of the divorcing couple. A judge will ask: Mr. X you have XYZ degree from ABC university, did your parents contribute towards the cost? and the same of Mrs. X. If the grandparents paid for parents’ college, it would be expected the parents pay towards children’s college.
The orders for payment are for the net out of pocket after scholarships and student loans taken out by the children, NOT the amount colleges charge.
In all cases, it is not about forcing the divorced parent to pay for what they are not legally required to do, but codifying what they have agreed to do to avoid later legal arguments and actions.

In fact, it is the custom of the courts in CT to put in the divorce order that Mr and Mrs X agree that Mr X shall pay YY% of net college cost and Mrs. X will Pay ZZ%. Costs shall be computed based on the University of Connecticut tuition, room and board fees at the time child attend school.
This way a custodial parent can’t stick it to the other by sending child to a $60,000yr private college instead of $28,000yr state university, just because 15 years ago the divorce order says daddy will pay for college.

The divorce order is merely codifying the agreement made by the parties in a manner that puts the teeth of government enforcement in play to make sure people honor the agreements.

@2QWERTY
Gloves are supposed to be changed when a worker changes tasks. So the worker at the counter uses gloves to pick your bagels from the bin and place them in the bag. Then the worker must remove gloves before handling the transaction at the cash register. A fresh pair is put on for the next task.

If merchants know that abuses of health rules will not be reported to government, they get lax in enforcing the rules.

Health Department regulations vary by jurisdiction. Gloves are not required in all cities/counties/states. Clean hands/nails are required. Hair nets may only be required for hair longer than a specified length.

COMPLAIN TO THE OWNER, refuse to patronize the pizza shop if they don’t clean up their act.
You could call the Health Department, but many in the CR refuse to issue a complaint to government about a fellow Jew

@Avram in MD

Stating that I was the Family Law Divorce lawyer was a direct reply to Mentsch1.
He is the medical doctor. I defer to him in things in his scope of expertise and assert my expertise in my legal specialty.

I do not proclaim to be the only Family Law/Divorce Lawyer nor does Mentsch1 claim to be the only medical doctor.

@Mentsch1

“For those not involved in the scene, a Rav is AlWAYS involved before a get will be issued, therapy/counseling (sometimes years) is always required before a b’d will issue a get (at least by the batei dinim I am familiar with)”

NOT TRUE, you lave limited exposure.
I’m the family law divorce lawyer.
I have a list of Batei Din I use for gittim for clients who have rec’d a civil divorce.
I don’t have to involve a Rav or therapy. The Batei Din realize that if the couple has gone through and obtained a civil divorce, a get should be issued so there will be no problem with remarriage or mamzerus in the future.
Connecticut, where I do virtually all of my practice, requires counseling/marriage therapy before granting a civil divorce, do the Batei Din don’t add a requirement for a second round. By the time the civily divorced couple reaches the Bet Din they have been divorce, no longer live together and custody/alimony are settled items.
I use 2 Hasidic Batei Din from Brooklyn. One sends the Dayanim, Sofer and Eidim to My office in a passenger van. The other which is Chabad sends the Dayan with a driver who is a sofer and constitutes the rest of the Bet Din with local Chabad rebbeim and uses a Chabad facility on New Haven.

If my clients don’t want a Hasidic Bet Din, I send them to a Bet Din in NY who accepts the civil divorce documents and my referral and charges less than $750 for the Get.
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I think your experience is with people in the frum world. My OOT Jewish divorce clients tend to be either MO or non-observant. For most of them the Get process is just one more formality/expense, but I fully explain the necessity and the local judges will add an order as to who pays and timeliness into the civil divorce decree (they can’t order that a Get be obtained, but if parties sign a stipulation do do so within a certain time, non-compliance can lead to a contempt of court charge).

As a family law attorney who has handled divorce, custody, educational plans, etc. for more than 35 years, I agree with Singlemomof4.
BTW>>>this does not apply just to the frum community and their schools.

It is more work for a school to handle divorced parents than married ones. Communication must often be made with both parents using time and resources. Duplicative parent meetings, PPTs, etc. have to be scheduled. Kids that have divorced parents with shared custody often arrive in school without certain items and tell the teacher/administration: ‘I stayed at mommy’s last night and my science things are at Daddy’s”

Staff resents the extra time they must expend on these students and double parent communication…for which they receive no extra money. Often times they must prepare reports for the family courts, Department of Social Services, etc.
The frazzled single parent with custody may be overburdened and the kids come in unprepared, homework not done, etc.
That same single parent generally has a lower income than married parents and may not be able to afford all the supplies, etc. The teachers will try to save the children from embarrassment by reaching into their own pockets to provide things…but under or late paid teachers cannot do much of this.

The single parent is less likely to be able to volunteer time for school committees/PTSO/room mother, chaperone, etc.

AND: the single parent is less likely to afford tuition/donations to private schools/yeshivos.
Say what you may, the administration in most schools favor those children whose parents are able to write large checks and require no scholarship money.

When my eldest grandson was in 4th grade, he came home from day school and asked me: Zaidy, how come I always am given brand new books at school and certain children are given old beat up books? This favoritism by economic status is reprehensible. I pushed for required school uniforms including shoes so that there would be no social pressure on how to dress. Mrs. CTL runs a backpack program at the local day school. She and her committee raise the funds and purchase and distribute backpacks to all elementary students that contain the same set of school supplies, no student should feel ashamed or second class. The parents of means tend to donate the full cost plus of the backpack to the committee and make sure their children don’t come in better equipped.

We live in a cruel world of harsh economic reality. Teachers and administrators do see who is the child of divorce, who is a scholarship or free lunch student, what vehicle the child alights from at school and it does color the treatment the child may receive.

@CT Rebbe,
It’s not always about getting the lowest price. My $20 haircut is well below the average price in the area. I am comfortable with my barber, who has cut my hair for the past 30 years, as well as my sons, sons-in-law and some grandsons.
I have little hair left, so that I have about 4 cuts a year. I can afford the $60 more than you pay without affecting my family or the tzedaka I give. I would not take my patronage away from this hard working barber, who has gone out of his way to accommodate us over the years. 15 years ago I broke my leg and was in a rehab facility for 12 weeks, he heard about it from my son-in-law and on his own came to the facility to cut and wash my hair without accepting payment so I would feel better about myself.

@Joseph
So, come pick up your daughter already. Last year she was with us in the CTL compound until after Sukkos.
Such lovely children you have, but they must want to be home for Yuntif. Mrs. CTL already took the shaineh maidel shopping and she has all new Yuntif outfits including shoes
She’s welcome to return next summer, our granddaughters love her company, and we appreciate how well behaved and helpful she is.

@1
See my reply to RebYidd23

ALSO>>>>most cutters in barber shops are NOT employees subject to minimum wage. They rent chairs from the owner in exchange for a percentage of sales (same with beauty salons). They are independent business people/contractors.

@1 Tipping does NOT allow employers to get around minimum wage laws. In those states which have reduced minimum wage rates for tipped employees, employers MUST comply with the laws. Here in CT, if a tipped employee does not receive enough tip income to make up the difference between reduced minimum wage for tipped employees in a given workweek, the employer must pay the shortfall to the employee.
Thus if the barber has to report to work and there is heavy snow each day and no customers, he still will earn the full minimum wage.

@Coffee Addict
I drink less than 3 or 4 glasses in a year and your choices are admirable.
That said, Blue Moon is a White Belgian Wheat ALE not a beer. Ales ferment in a warm process with the yeast on the top of the tank. Lager type beer ferments in a cold process with the yeast on the bottom of the tank.
A different type of yeast is used for Beer and Ale.

I only learned about this when a client wanted to open a microbrewery and the town said he could not brew via a warm process, because the building was not properly zoned for cooking. It took quite a bit of Planning and Zoning hearings to convince the town that the intent of the zoning was to keep restaurants and retail purveyors of food out of the industrial park.

I recently went back to get a Masters in Psychology for a new venture we are pursuing. I never took any Psych courses undergrad. The University told me that I could take any three intro psych courses at any accredited college, and they admit me with any Bachelor’s degree. I took the classes on-line from a local community college to meet the requirement and am now doing the masters at the University of Bridgeport.

AviK

PLEASE: Don’t confuse the Professional Organization>>>Bar Association, and the division of State Government that administers the Exam. They are NOT the same.

Here in CT, the exam is administered and scored by the Connecticut Bar Examining Committee, part of the state Superior Courts.
In Massachusetts the exam is administered and scored by the Board of Bar Overseers, also part of the state court system.
I know first hand about NY and CT because I took and passed and am licensed in both states. After holding my license in CT for 5 years, all I had to do was drive to Albany, pay a fee and be sworn in at the state judicial offices. That was decades ago, now one would have to take the exam

It is also these entities who discipline attorneys for misdeeds.
Membership in the Bar Association is not required to maintain one’s license. I haven’t bothered paying dues to the bar associations (statewide or county) in about 20 years. I’m not interested in their golf outings or treif dinners.

@Coffee Addict…………….
I’m not bringing the proof from YU. I noted the location. It was frequented by many friends from Breuer’s in the heights.

By the way, the people who had problems with the name, as well as McFleishiges are the McDonald’s Corporation, who issued cease and desist trademark infringement letters…causing the name changes

In my previous post where it says my children and spouses, it means my childrens’ spouses. There is only one Mrs. CTL.

Scaif09………………………..
I second akuperma’s comments.
I went to and IVY league university, have and MBA and a law degree from a top school in Massachusetts. I did not go the large law firm route, but established my own firm 35+ years ago in a specialized area of law.

I have never taken in a partner. My children and their spouses went to law school knowing they would be joining the family firm and had future ownership when I retire. I would not have let them go through law school and attempt to find decent positions and be saddled with hundreds of thousands in student loans. To work and bill enough hours as a new associate in a big firm leaves no life or family time.
The profession has changed drastically in the past 25 years. Much of what we used to do and charge large fees for doing can be done with on-line forms, help and no degree or license. Most young lawyers are not making a living and many leave the field quickly. Law is not what it once was. It you do not a a job connection/plan consider something else.

BTW>>>I have taught as a Law School adjunct faculty member for 15+ years at several top New England schools and have never run across a student admitted with just a BTL. It might get you into some NYC schools, but forget the IVY League, or UMICH, etc.

@NevilleChaimBerlin

@CoffeeAddict

Godaven is terribly out of date……………..
In my little state of CT there are more than 8 entries that are wrong or no longer exist .

@DovitBT
Actually the effect of the choice of President on my personal money is only one of many criteria in selecting a President.
I do not consider the coarse, insulting, serial adulterer who currently holds office as a role model.
I object to his dismantling healthcare, EPA, and other safeguards. His picks for Department of Education (DeVos and State (Tillerson) are a joke. Installing his inept children as senior advisors is offensive as is his attempt to reap personal and family profit from public service.
The man has no self control and has made enemies of our friends and allies. I fear for the safety of all Americans.

I did not agree with all the policies of the Presidents Bush, but they were gentlemen who put country ahead of personal gain. I have known Bill Clinton since he was a law student at Yale. He has a brilliant mind, but not great moral character. President Obama is a brilliant man with wholesome family life. That doesn’t mean I agreed with everything he did. I voted against Trump as opposed to for Hillary Clinton. Her carpetbagging run for US Senate in NY was reminiscent of Bobby Kennedy and his defeat of Senator Keating.

@Yehudayona
Thank you….she’s tough. Made it through another surgery (15 in two years) repeat performance in 8 weeks. As my father Z”L would have said: ‘she’s putting that doctor into a new tax bracket.

and for all you Trumpsters…….Thank G-d for the ACA Obamacare). As a self employed professional we get our health insurance through the Exchange here in CT. We have the same insurance company and level policy as before ACA, but no limitations for preexisting conditions, and there is no longer a yearly or lifetime cap on benefits (used to be $1 Million a year, $3 Million lifetime) they have paid out close to $4 million in 2 1/2 years. I know she’s worth it, but some government actuary would not agree.
We pay $500 per month less in our 6th year of coverage than we paid prior to ACA, and we are in our 60s not 50s now. The yearly deductible/out of pocket max is not $700 per person/$1400 per family, so at this time of the year we have no out of pocket expense.
Yes, I’ve heard/read horror stories about ACA here in the CR, but the system as set up in CT works. Our legislature has acted to make sure it continues, even if there are changes at the national level. If Trump had his way, Mrs. CTL would have been denied care and I would be bankrupt.

Thank you Yehudayona. I just looked in while taking a short break from tehillim. Mrs. CTL is currently in surgery, again. I needed a diversion and the Communist label gave me a needed smile.

@yehudayona
I’m also not a sword swallower

@takes2
The OP asked if you would eat it, not if it exists.
I go to the supermarket and see many kosher cottage cheese, yogurt and sour cream containers…but I won’t eat them. I don’t like the product, doesn’t matter that it’s kosher or not.

@DovidBT
The Chinese government owns 50% of all non-mom and pop businesses. They set the managers’ and co-owners’ salaries. They decide profit splits. The managers and co-owners want to reap the benefits of their labors and often break the law to do so.
For the past year I have been working with a Chinese Banker to establish a Trust to send hand support his son in the US for high school college and graduate school. In May the Chinese government unilaterally cut salaries of all top bank officers by 50%. He is now approving loans to himself and family members form the bank at set rates, and set up a syndicate to invest the funds and keep the profits for himself to compensate for the salary cuts.
This is the type of action that takes place often

@yitzchokm
As I have been to China many times in the past 21 years, I have seen the corruption and dishonesty in the Chinese processed food industry.
When the government is your automatic 50% partner, factory owners and manager look for ways to make their own fortunes. Great fortunes are made in this manner, but the risk is high. Every year scoundrels are caught sabotaging food supply and the typical response is a swift execution. Much of this does not hit the foreign press.

The CTL family Greyhound fell victim to tainted Chinese processed food exported to the USA back about 2007. A large processor of component ingredients for animal food was substituting fake wheat gluten for real. Major American brands used the fake wheat gluten and thousands of animals and some humans were injured and/or died. Our Greyhound, a retired loser at the race track which we had rescued) was fed a dry food made by Iams (I can mention the name here, because Iams paid a settlement in the case). Instead of wheat gluten it contained melamine. This caused her kidneys to fail. We incurred more than $8,000 in Veterinary expenses and she suffered for 8 weeks until she died.

I was in China earlier this year, I ate only fresh fruits and vegetables, steamed rice and packaged items I brought with me.
We do not buy or use package Chinese produced food products exported to the USA. This is not to say that we may not be fed such items when eating at a relative’s home or restaurant. We may not buy that can of mushrooms labelled ‘Made in China’ but have no way of knowing if someone else is serving such an item to us.
Our dogs no longer eat any commercial pet food. They have a diet of turkey, sweet potatoes and peas which we cook for them.
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It is not necessarily a matter of inferior quality, but honesty. I certainly trusted Iams, and had fro many years. They were duped by the dishonest food supplier in China. BTW, about half a dozen Chinese factory executives implicated in this fraud were executed.

Quality control only tests a small sample of product and is not the same as food safety examination. Quality control tests the looks, size, taste, feel, smell etc. of the food. Is it to the company’s standards? Does it look like the picture on the label?