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Just returned yesterday from a whirlwind business trip to the south of France. It cost my client $10,000 to send me for what turned out to be a 45 minute meeting. Just to get a recalcitrant sibling to sign a contract regarding an estate sale.
The sibling said: ‘my brother is a fool who wastes money, instead of sending you, all he had to do is call and ask me to sign, then FEDEX the documents., BUT, he is too high and mighty to lower himself to ask anything of me. He has the hired help do it.’@1
Please stop lying. I dare you to show where ion the Democrat national party platform it calls for taking away all guns. It doesn’t
I m a Democrat, active in politics, serve on town and state committee and have been a national delegate 5 times. I take our platform very seriously, have helped to write 2 in the past.
I resent when someone such as yourself lies about the official party position.Gun control laws are not gun elimination laws. I would not fire a gun, it doesn’t interest me. That doesn’t men I oppose responsible adults with proper training and vetting having gun permits.
Knaidlach……….
You are welcome
#1
How much equals wealthy?
My parents and Mrs. CTL’s parents were middle class small business owners. They worked hard, raised their families. They educated us and made sure we could earn a living. They did not bestow monetary gifts upon us. Yes, we received many family heirlooms, but not money or real estate. Our mothers were both sick for a long time at the end of their lives and the medical system took all their assets and then some, We happily supported them as they supported us when we were young.The one thing our parents and grandparents taught us was don’t buy what you can’t afford. Home mortgages and business loans were the only money we borrowed. The only time we had car loans was when there was zero interest promotions that made sense to borrow and not pay cash.
I am in my mid 60s. My family is raised, our home is paid for. I still, mow the lawn, take out the trash, clean the swimming pool and shovel snow up to 4″ deep (deeper gets plowed) myself.
I may be an attorney, but my father Z”L taught me to use tools. I don’t hire a handiman to do most work round the house. This past Sunday, I painted a bedroom and built an additional closet in it. One of our granddaughters is coming to live with us for a semester and help my wife.@Joseph
Short answer, yes
I have lived through good and bad times.
In the 1950s, my father made more than $50,000 per year when a family was middle class if the income was $5000. In 1962, his business partners put the business into bankruptcy while he and my mother were on an extended business trip abroad.
The family survived on the $4,200 per year my mother made as a public school teacher, while he rebuilt his business. We lived in a house that cost $16,000 new in 1954 and the monthly mortgage payment was $75 including taxes. We ate lots of pasta and rice and chicken on Shabbos and yuntif. I wore hand me down clothes from my eldest brother. I had a great childhood.
My father rebuilt his business, paid all our past and current education expenses and we all made something of ourselves.
In the 1990 recession of G HW Bush, I lost millions of dollars of investment property to foreclosure. I tightened my belt and we went on with life.
I am not wanting material things. My car is 14 years old and works fine, I don’t get a new one because I don’t need it. My children are educated and capable of supporting themselves and their children, they don’t need our support.
In down times I appreciate what I have and enjoy the memories of experiences past without jealousy or longing for more stuff and money.CR readers know that Mrs. CTL has had terrible health issues for the past 2 and 1/2 years. I’d gladly trade the CTL compound and material things for a 2 room trailer if in turn her health was restored.
After all…it’s all just stuff.“Ben Zoma says:
Who is rich?
The one who is appreciates what he has…
(Talmud—Avot 4:1)”I would be very happy and feel rich with with a three large knaidlach in my bowl of chicken soup.
Your post was approved the same time as mine.
There is a choice, non-smart phones are still marketed in the USA.
In addition to Jitterbug, Consumers Cellular has a basic flip phone and you can get a plan with no internet access.
The Jitterbug is a better phone, Mrs. CTL tried bothThey are not all smart phones.
Mrs. CTL and our younger grandchildren use plain old fashioned flip phones from Jitterbug…the same type our late mothers used. No Internet access. Big buttons easy to see, large displays and loud sound for easy hearing.
I only got a smartphone due to business requirements. I held off as long as possible because the courts in CT did not allow you to bring a phone with a camera into the buildings. They have since relaxed the rule as no current cell phones without cameras are marketed in the USA.
@RebYidd23
Reasons it makes sense:
#1 Feel Good legislation. You’ll vote to reelect the legislator, but he’ll still get gun money support
#2 Gun control legislation has to be passed incrementally, one small restriction/requirement at a time. A true control bill with teeth won’t pass
#3 It allows for conviction of a criminal on some charges even when the main case fails. Can’t convict on the armed robbery and get bad guy off the street? Get him for possession of the illegal/unregistered/un-permitted gun and get him off the street.There is a method to the madness
@Yehudayona
The only thing in the OP’s post was an advt for a travel company in Boro Park that guaranteed lowest rates on travel.
I thought that was his tip on saving money and published my results. Off today to South of France on Business be back Thursday. Going direct to the airline was the cheapest for Business class. Can’t use miles, because client is paying for flight.@Philosopher
I don’t know how long your family has been in its current country and what heirlooms (Jewelry, silver, etc) have passed down in the family.
My family arrived in the USA in the 1860s and early 1870s and has accumulated a century and a half of heirlooms.
The concept of being the safe-keeper of these heirlooms and the duty to pass them on to future generations has been instilled in us from early childhood.
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My eldest DIL has my paternal grandmother’s engagement diamond. The setting and side stones were designed and made for DIL. She has my maternal great-grandmother’s Pearls.
My eldest SIL proudly wears my Maternal Grandfather’s gold watch. My daughter have it to him when the got engaged. He has promised it to his eldest granddaughter to give to her Chasan when the time arrives in the future.
This is not to say that we do not also buy new jewelry as gifts in the family, but the heirlooms and family continuity have special meaning.
When I married Mrs. CTL….she was given a choice of 4 engagement stones that had been in the family for 4 generations. She chose a stone that had been worn by my great grandmother who had the same first name as Mrs. CTL.
I’ve had the pleasure of buying her much jewelry over our almost 45 years of marriage and she looks forward to passing it on to our children, grandchildren, etc.@Joseph
See the report at businessforafairminimumwage
it is a dotorg, not com
Many studies refute what you claim about job loss.I no longer hold elected office, I retired last year, but am on our Town’s Police Commission. Standard protocol is for officers to wear gloves when handcuffing someone. This way if the handcuffs scratch or draw blood, the officer is not exposed to additional health risks.
@DasYochid
Do you think any experienced adult should work for $4 per hour from the employer and have to live on the generousity of customers?
That’s what is ludicrous!I read threads here in the CR that teenagers get $10/hr to babysit, why should an adult working a regular job get 40% of that?
NY is way behind the times when it comes to minimum wagesWho is THEY? you refer to…….
As of the 1990s most travel guides for tourists coming to NY listed 20% as the expected or common tip percentage.
It wasn’t about being greedy, but providing servers with a living wage.
In 2018 any 16 year old working at McDonald’s here in CT starts at state minimum wage of $10.10 hour, but a 45 year old server with 25 years experience is legally only paid the server’s minimum wage rate of $6.38 and is expected to earn the difference through tips.
In NY, that kid at McDs gets $7.50/hr minimum wage and the experienced server is paid $4.00 plus tips.
That’s ludicrous.
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If you and Mrs. J go into a sit down restaurant for lunch and the bill is $60 before tax. A $12 tip is appropriate. The server will be expected to tip out $3 to other personnel on your check. The $9 for serving you for an hour is not much. Remember for much of the shift, it is not lunch time and business and tip income may be lower.I support a $15 minimum wage bill (coming in CT) and no tipping
In 1973 I was asst. director of a Jewish Sleep away camp in New England. Tipping had been such a problem that effective the 1974 season, we raised tuition 10% and raised salaries 10% and did away with tipping.
On visiting and pickup days, large signs were posted to remind parents of the no tipping policy.
It lasted for about 30 years. Now they don’t have waiters and allow tippingIn the USA tipping is expected. The IRS will affix a minimum 8% tip level to server’s income if it feels tips are under-reported. Servers in restaurants have to tip out set percentages to bartenders, hostesses and busboys. So, if you stiff the server, he/she may still have to take 5% of the checks for the shift out of his.her pocket and pay the other workers. Then he/she may get a tax bill for that income not made.
15% went away in the 1980s. 20-25% of the pre tax bill is a proper tip in 2018. If you cannot afford to tip, go to a joint without table service, you don’t have to stay home. BUT, if you have service pay for it.
Similarly, push your state legislators to raise servers’ minimum wage to the same as everyone else and get rid of tipping altogether.
Jewelry has both intrinsic value and extrinsic value.
Intrinsic is the worth of the metal and stones
Extrinsic is the beauty of the design, emotions or quality of workmanship.What is expensive to one may be cheap or reasonable to others.
For 35 years I have worn a Rolex watch as my daily watch. It was $1600 at tax free when I bought it and a Seiko was about $100. $46 per year is not expensive for an accurate, waterproof, durable timepiece. I’ll probably wear it the rest of my life and then my eldest son will own it. It’s gold content at the time of purchase was about $300. I paid for the name and workmanship as well.
As for jewelry and gold being portable, my mother’s side was German. They did not believe in keeping assets that could not be transported in a hurry. Cash gold and jewels were always held in a safe at home. My OPA said you never know when you have to cross a border quickly and you can’t sew real; estate in your suit lining or bribe a border guard with it.
Yes, we do pass jewelry down in the family. Mrs. CTL wears my great grandmother’s engagement diamond. All our daughters in law received engagement stones from the family vault. I don’t expect that these would ever be sold. They know they are merely the safekeepers for the generation, not the owners
No savings and they can’t do it all.
Need a R/T Bus class to southern France in about 40 days. They could not find or Book Delta (who had the best times and shortest layover in Paris. They offered other longer flights on multiple airlines for $500 more than booking on Delta’s website.I learned decades ago to avoid businesses or items with a do all claim.
The English idiom is Jack of all trades, Master of none.
In the clothing business, when you see an item advertised as ‘one size fits all’ it doesn’t, maybe most, but not all.I miss my mom, also.
Today would have been her 96th birthday, she died at 93
Mrs. CTL misses her mom who was niftara last year the first night of Rosh HaShanh.We would gladly trade living 8ooo miles away from our moms and being able to telephone, email and write letters back and forth as you ca do with your mom.
Instead of bemoaning your distance, celebrate that you still have a mom and can have interaction with her,
If you are constructing your sukkah and then putting it into its final position, you are not using what is already made, you are merely finishing the construction project. The placement of the sukkah with the schach on it is still in the construction phase, no different from assembling walls and then lifting upright into position before nailing them to the floor.
If you truly couldn’t use what is already made, you would not be able to buy finished dimensional lumber such as 2x4s or sheets of plywood to build the sukkah, you’d have to cut down trees and hew your own boards@Joseph
Your daughter was an absolute delight over Yuntif. As always, you and your wife deserve credit for the way she has been raised.
This morning she is apple and pumpkin picking with our younger grandchildren for the final Sukkah decorations.
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Things and attitudes change over time, as I come closer to retirement I value my privacy more and more. My desire for privacy involves not only myself, but Mrs. CTL, children, grandchildren, business, etc. As you well know, Mrs. CTL has been very ill during the past 2 1/2 years and I’ve had to take great measures to see that she is not disturbed by unwanted phone calls and visits from solicitors (for those in the Brit world, I don’t mean lawyers, but people with their hands out).Nice try, maybe a newcomer would fall for your question. I would never post titles that could give away my identity.
@Whitecar
I’ve actually written a number of books, but they would have nothing in them about my personal life and people I met.
3 are law textbooks on probate and family law specific to Massachussets, Connecticut and Florida, sadly all are out of print and they have not been updated since the 90s.I am at work on a family history on my father’s maternal line which I hope is ready later this year(2018) which is the 150th anniversary of my Great-Great Grandfather’s arrival in America from the Pale of Settlement.
@Dovid BT
Yes I have met many famous secular world musicians.
Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim
Paul McCartney
Not John Lennon, but yes Yoko Ono
Itzhak Perlman
Andrea Bocelli
Paul Simon
Art Garfunkel
Peter, Paul and Mary
I first met Elton John in 1974, his American manager’s daughter went to college with me and I was invited to her parents house to meet him. I shall be seeing him Motzei Yom Kippur in Hartford at a private reception following his concert as the guest of the same no longer young lady who first introduced me to him 44 yeasr ago.
Pete Seeger
Odetta
Ronnie Gilbert
Joan Baez
Theodore Bikel
Zero Mostel
ALL FIVE Marx Brothers….Chico and Harpo were accomplished musicians.@Whitecar
This thread is not about politics and who we support and I don’t want to get it off track. My comments about politics was to explain how I met so many famous politicians. I was at the 1 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago as a teenager.
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I don’t know Hillary Clinton’s current economic views, and as she isn’t running for office they are not terribly important or of interest to me. She did not have a diplomatic policy, as Secretary of State it was her job to advance the Diplomatic Policy of the President. Foreign Policy is reserved for the President by the US Constitution. As for her morals, she is/was a good wife and mother. She kept her marriage together despite her husband’s infidelities. I’ve known her 48 years and know her to be loyal and trustworthy and also she has a brilliant mind.No I am not Dershowitz
My family has been active in Democrat Party Politics since 1932.
I have held local elected office.
I have been a delegate to CT State and the National Dem Conventions.
I’ve known dozens of Congress members and Senators over the years.
In July 1976 when my father was sitting shiva for his mother in our New Haven home, the Mayor, Governor, both US Senators and 4 of our 6 members of Congress made shiva calls.BTW>>>>I have met Atty. Dershowitz but his politics have drifted too far right for me.
I am a liberal which is not typical in the CR, but that doesn’t mean I am not frum, just don’t want to bind others with my beliefs. I am against school vouchers and carter schools. Tax dollars should only be spent in the public schools. You want private, raise your own funds…I did
For 45+ years Mrs CTL and I have driven Jaguars. We have been solicited by the BMW and Mercedes dealers and always turn down their offers of a test drive or ‘great deal’
We do not buy German products knowingly.
Neither of us had family in Europe at the time of the Shoah, but we had family who fought in the US armed forces during WWII.
Our 2nd DIL’s grandmother was in the Kindertransport and saved by the English.
There were good and bad people and politicians in all countries over the millenia@Yehudayona
I consider met as being introduced to, exchanging words/small talk and possibly shaking hands.
I was presented to HRH Prince Phillip and HRH Queen Elizabeth II, exchanged about 15 words of pleasantry, but they do not shake hands.
I have shaken hands with all the Presidents I listed. I met Golda Meir at a dinner in a private home in Ramat HaSharon in 1971. She spent most of the evening talking with my mother about about teaching aqdolescents,I don’t consider seeing or just being in the same large arena as meeting someone.
@Joseph
My post was a direct response to Whitecar’s original post that mentioned hoping to meet a sitting President, which is why I listed them first.BUT, you would find fault with any order I chose, that’s what trolls do
Political Leaders:
JFK…when he was still a Senator running for President
LBJ….when he was VP
Richard Nixon…at a book signing 5 years after he resigned from office
Jimmy Carter…while running for office
George HW Bush..when VP (I also had met his father CT US Senator Prescott Bush)
Bill Clinton AND Hillary Rodham…met them both while they were at Yale Law and not yet a couple…we worked on Joseph Lieberman’s first political campaign
George W Bush…while President, I met him when he spoke at Yale
Barack Obama….Met him when he was running for his second term as President
Trump, has the misfortune of ding business with him years ago
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David Ben Gurion
Golda Meir
Bibi Netanyahu
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HRH Prince Phillip and
HRH Queen Elizabeth II…they visited New Haven in July 1976 on the Royal Yacht for US Bicentennial and I was presented at a reception
Willy Brandt….when he was Mayor of West Berlin and came to New Haven in 1961-2 school year and visited my classroom…he later was Chancellor of West Germany
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Pope Paul VI….in a private audience (20 people) 1975, arranged by my father’s major business landlord who was a major contributor to the church
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Rav J B Soloveitchik
Rav Hutner
The Bostoner Rebbe in Brookline, MA
The Lubavitcher Rebbe
YY Halberstam..Klausenberger Rebbe…our family has supported Kiryat Sanz Laniado Hospital for three generations
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Supreme Court Justices:
Earl Warren
Abe Fortas
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Sandra Day O’Connor
Thurgood MarshallThe nature of politics and business connections let me meet many interesting people.
I had the author Erich Segal and inventor/architect Buckminster Fuller as professors at UPENN more than 45 years ago.@Joseph
Divorced parents aren’t being held to a different standard. The court is merely setting down in its order who will pay for what part of the college costs. I have had divorcing parents agree that neither will be paying for post high school education for the children and the court puts this in the order as well, so one spouse can’t come back after the other.
Judges will look at the education and lifestyles of the divorcing couple. A judge will ask: Mr. X you have XYZ degree from ABC university, did your parents contribute towards the cost? and the same of Mrs. X. If the grandparents paid for parents’ college, it would be expected the parents pay towards children’s college.
The orders for payment are for the net out of pocket after scholarships and student loans taken out by the children, NOT the amount colleges charge.
In all cases, it is not about forcing the divorced parent to pay for what they are not legally required to do, but codifying what they have agreed to do to avoid later legal arguments and actions.In fact, it is the custom of the courts in CT to put in the divorce order that Mr and Mrs X agree that Mr X shall pay YY% of net college cost and Mrs. X will Pay ZZ%. Costs shall be computed based on the University of Connecticut tuition, room and board fees at the time child attend school.
This way a custodial parent can’t stick it to the other by sending child to a $60,000yr private college instead of $28,000yr state university, just because 15 years ago the divorce order says daddy will pay for college.The divorce order is merely codifying the agreement made by the parties in a manner that puts the teeth of government enforcement in play to make sure people honor the agreements.
@Joseph
The age of 18 as demarcation of adulthood in America is a modern invention in response to the Viet Nam War.
In the 1960s and early 70s war protesters and drafted soldiers argued: “Old enough to fight, old enough to vote!”
The Federal Voting age was lowered to 18, and in many states such as Connecticut the chant included “old enough to fight, old enough to drink” and the drinking age was also lowered to 18 (as it was in NY).
BUT, lowering voting age did not actually lower the age of majority in all things. In some states that remains 21.
The 18 year old, who can vote and sign contracts in CT, cannot legally buy alcohol or get a gun license.
The Family courts still consider support and education and medical support through age 21. Child support may end at 18, BUT not the 18th birthday, the order will extend until the end of the school year in most cases.Because, the FAFSA system considers parental income for live at home children in awarding college Financial aid, our courts may obligate divorced parents to contribute to educational costs.
I recently won $100,000 judgment against a divorced spouse who had not paid his half of the 2 daughters college costs as ordered in the divorce back in 2007. He claimed he had no assets, but the judge agreed that we could attach his pension 100% and he could live on his Social Security or get a job. There was no reason his daughters should be saddled with huge student loans because he did not live up to his obligations.
@2QWERTY
Gloves are supposed to be changed when a worker changes tasks. So the worker at the counter uses gloves to pick your bagels from the bin and place them in the bag. Then the worker must remove gloves before handling the transaction at the cash register. A fresh pair is put on for the next task.If merchants know that abuses of health rules will not be reported to government, they get lax in enforcing the rules.
@Joseph
You have written that you work in the NYC Public Schools. I would expect you to know that ‘equitable’ does not mean equal. It means fair and even handed.If the female wanted representation is a stay at home mom and dad is a big earner equitable would have him bearing the brunt of education costs.
I get prospective clients coming in and saying they want to economically destroy their soon to be ex spouse.
I won’t participate in that type of action.My basic rule of thumb when speaking to long term marrieds (more than 15 years) seeking a divorce (as opposed to responding to an action filed by the spouse) is that if you are not willing to give half of assets to your spouse I’ll not represent you. This has nothing to do with support orders, alimony, educational, medical or custody. Those can be negotiated in an equitable manner. CT has very good child support guidelines which are adjusted for income.
Spouses with children are cautioned that the marriage may be ending, but the parenting continues and they must learn to get along and behave civilly towards each other. There will be simchas to share in the future and even the costs of these can be negotiated into the settlement.Health Department regulations vary by jurisdiction. Gloves are not required in all cities/counties/states. Clean hands/nails are required. Hair nets may only be required for hair longer than a specified length.
COMPLAIN TO THE OWNER, refuse to patronize the pizza shop if they don’t clean up their act.
You could call the Health Department, but many in the CR refuse to issue a complaint to government about a fellow Jew@The Little I Know
The sequence you mention with the Rav and Beis Din may be the common way in the Hareidi community. I assure you they are not my clients.BUT, many divorcing couples use Batei Din for a get who are not Hareidi.
Most area pulpit rabbis of all Jewish denominations (yes some here will object to the term) will not perform marriages of formerly married Jews unless there is a proper Get because the progeny could have mamzerus issues. The ‘reform’ grandchild of a 2nd time married Jew might become a BT and want to marry in the frum world.
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Again, the Batei Din I works with know the couple already has a civil divorce, has had counseling as required by CT law and are living apart. They are not involved in trying to save a marriage, but to dissolve it al pi halacha and make sure future children are legitimate.In 35+ years I have taken more than 150 divorced Jewish couples through this process to obtain a kosher get.
Not one of these couples was frum, but some of their children and grandchildren are BTs.@Avram in MD
Stating that I was the Family Law Divorce lawyer was a direct reply to Mentsch1.
He is the medical doctor. I defer to him in things in his scope of expertise and assert my expertise in my legal specialty.I do not proclaim to be the only Family Law/Divorce Lawyer nor does Mentsch1 claim to be the only medical doctor.
@Joseph
I am well aware that both parties must be agreeable to giving and receiving the get.
This is something I discuss before taking on the client for a civil divorce.
I also only take clients who are agreeable up front to an equitable distribution of the assets and funding the children(s)’ education.I don’t take a Jewish client for a civil divorce if he or she is not willing to give/receive a get. I’ll refer them to a non-Jewish attorney.
“For those not involved in the scene, a Rav is AlWAYS involved before a get will be issued, therapy/counseling (sometimes years) is always required before a b’d will issue a get (at least by the batei dinim I am familiar with)”
NOT TRUE, you lave limited exposure.
I’m the family law divorce lawyer.
I have a list of Batei Din I use for gittim for clients who have rec’d a civil divorce.
I don’t have to involve a Rav or therapy. The Batei Din realize that if the couple has gone through and obtained a civil divorce, a get should be issued so there will be no problem with remarriage or mamzerus in the future.
Connecticut, where I do virtually all of my practice, requires counseling/marriage therapy before granting a civil divorce, do the Batei Din don’t add a requirement for a second round. By the time the civily divorced couple reaches the Bet Din they have been divorce, no longer live together and custody/alimony are settled items.
I use 2 Hasidic Batei Din from Brooklyn. One sends the Dayanim, Sofer and Eidim to My office in a passenger van. The other which is Chabad sends the Dayan with a driver who is a sofer and constitutes the rest of the Bet Din with local Chabad rebbeim and uses a Chabad facility on New Haven.If my clients don’t want a Hasidic Bet Din, I send them to a Bet Din in NY who accepts the civil divorce documents and my referral and charges less than $750 for the Get.
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I think your experience is with people in the frum world. My OOT Jewish divorce clients tend to be either MO or non-observant. For most of them the Get process is just one more formality/expense, but I fully explain the necessity and the local judges will add an order as to who pays and timeliness into the civil divorce decree (they can’t order that a Get be obtained, but if parties sign a stipulation do do so within a certain time, non-compliance can lead to a contempt of court charge).@apushatayid
OOT is quite different than NYC, Monsey and Lakewood.
Day Schools and Yeshivos are limited in number and serve Jews from multiple communities.
Teachers know a lot about economic status by address. Does the student live in the wealthy suburb? Is the address an apartment building? Certain apartment complexes are known for being the home of divorced moms with kids.
School bus transportation is not the norm here. Teachers and staff can see if Yankel is getting dropped off in this year’s Lincoln, Jaguar, Land Rover or a 10 year old Honda minivan. They don’t need access to the business office.
The local Day School is run by Chabad for more than 70 years. The same family is in charge with 2nd and 3rd generation as principals and teachers. They have access to all the information about who pays what and at times have been less than careful with the information. The scholarship applications go to a committee which includes staff and volunteers. It was better many years ago when Jewish Family Services handles this and then gave the school a report saying how much a particular family could be expected to pay.I agree the system is problematic and should be changed, but it is hard to effect change, especially when you no longer have kids in the school. I could threaten to withhold my annual checks, but that would cause more harm than good.
As a family law attorney who has handled divorce, custody, educational plans, etc. for more than 35 years, I agree with Singlemomof4.
BTW>>>this does not apply just to the frum community and their schools.It is more work for a school to handle divorced parents than married ones. Communication must often be made with both parents using time and resources. Duplicative parent meetings, PPTs, etc. have to be scheduled. Kids that have divorced parents with shared custody often arrive in school without certain items and tell the teacher/administration: ‘I stayed at mommy’s last night and my science things are at Daddy’s”
Staff resents the extra time they must expend on these students and double parent communication…for which they receive no extra money. Often times they must prepare reports for the family courts, Department of Social Services, etc.
The frazzled single parent with custody may be overburdened and the kids come in unprepared, homework not done, etc.
That same single parent generally has a lower income than married parents and may not be able to afford all the supplies, etc. The teachers will try to save the children from embarrassment by reaching into their own pockets to provide things…but under or late paid teachers cannot do much of this.The single parent is less likely to be able to volunteer time for school committees/PTSO/room mother, chaperone, etc.
AND: the single parent is less likely to afford tuition/donations to private schools/yeshivos.
Say what you may, the administration in most schools favor those children whose parents are able to write large checks and require no scholarship money.When my eldest grandson was in 4th grade, he came home from day school and asked me: Zaidy, how come I always am given brand new books at school and certain children are given old beat up books? This favoritism by economic status is reprehensible. I pushed for required school uniforms including shoes so that there would be no social pressure on how to dress. Mrs. CTL runs a backpack program at the local day school. She and her committee raise the funds and purchase and distribute backpacks to all elementary students that contain the same set of school supplies, no student should feel ashamed or second class. The parents of means tend to donate the full cost plus of the backpack to the committee and make sure their children don’t come in better equipped.
We live in a cruel world of harsh economic reality. Teachers and administrators do see who is the child of divorce, who is a scholarship or free lunch student, what vehicle the child alights from at school and it does color the treatment the child may receive.
@Amil Zola
As I explained, people in their 80s and 90s are in the vast minority of computer users, even more so among frum women.When my father Z”L was niftar in 2009 (age 89) he was still typing on a manual typewriter and using carbon paper. The computer and copy machine we had given him as gifts sat untouched in his home office. My mother wrote everything by hand. She had beautiful handwriting. In fact, she hand wrote her Master’s and Doctoral dissertations in Education, something that has not been permitted in the past 60 years.I was sent to summer school after 4th grade to learn to type because my penmanship was so poor.
@CT Rebbe,
It’s not always about getting the lowest price. My $20 haircut is well below the average price in the area. I am comfortable with my barber, who has cut my hair for the past 30 years, as well as my sons, sons-in-law and some grandsons.
I have little hair left, so that I have about 4 cuts a year. I can afford the $60 more than you pay without affecting my family or the tzedaka I give. I would not take my patronage away from this hard working barber, who has gone out of his way to accommodate us over the years. 15 years ago I broke my leg and was in a rehab facility for 12 weeks, he heard about it from my son-in-law and on his own came to the facility to cut and wash my hair without accepting payment so I would feel better about myself.@Amil Zola
You have conflated my post with Joseph. I asked about he age, he reminded you about Jewish holidays.
My question about age was sincere. I am turning 65. My parents were born in NYC in 1920. My grandparents were born in NYC in the 1890s. It is highly unusual to have parents who arrived in the US circa 1900 and be an internet user in 2018. Most people in the USA in the first half of the 20th Century had children before the age of 40, if you are typical you would be in your late 80s or 90s.
My zaidy was a shirtmaker belonging to the Amalgamated Clothing Workers of America. By 1920 they had a standard 44 hour workweek in NYC. By 1923 he opened his own manufacturing business. His workers worked an 8 hour day and he never had the factory open on Shabbos or Yuntif. None of the family has been a worker since that time, all have been professionals and work hours have not been an issue. Owners are free to work as many hours as they wish. I work far more hours than my employees do
@Joseph
So, come pick up your daughter already. Last year she was with us in the CTL compound until after Sukkos.
Such lovely children you have, but they must want to be home for Yuntif. Mrs. CTL already took the shaineh maidel shopping and she has all new Yuntif outfits including shoes
She’s welcome to return next summer, our granddaughters love her company, and we appreciate how well behaved and helpful she is.@RebbYid23
It is the reality here in CT
The wage enforcement division of the CT Dept of Labor is vigilant about minimum wage abuse and the minimum is $10.10 here.
I would never patronize an establishment that does not comply.
Those Yidden who refuse to report other Jews to secular authorities for breaking these laws should at least refuse to patronize the offenders.@1
See my reply to RebYidd23ALSO>>>>most cutters in barber shops are NOT employees subject to minimum wage. They rent chairs from the owner in exchange for a percentage of sales (same with beauty salons). They are independent business people/contractors.
Amil Zola
How old are you? Did your parents arrive in the US prior to 1920? Maybe you mean your grandparents?
I’m a 5th generation born American. The 40 hour work week was in effect for my grandparents when they entered the workforce in the mid Nineteen teens.
@1 Tipping does NOT allow employers to get around minimum wage laws. In those states which have reduced minimum wage rates for tipped employees, employers MUST comply with the laws. Here in CT, if a tipped employee does not receive enough tip income to make up the difference between reduced minimum wage for tipped employees in a given workweek, the employer must pay the shortfall to the employee.
Thus if the barber has to report to work and there is heavy snow each day and no customers, he still will earn the full minimum wage.There are no frum or Jewish barbers in my vicinity. A standard haircut costs $20 USD and $2 for trimming facial hair.
$22 fee
$5 tip to barber
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If the shop owner gives the haircut, no tip because he gets the full $22, whereas employee/contractor barbers typically give owner 40-50% of the $22.