Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Not my birthday but I saw this, thought it was cute and decided to share it.
HAPPY 33RD BIRTHDAY GARFIELD!
#####
####### #**#!!###
#**#!!!!## #****#!!!!#
#****###!!!# #*****#!!!!#
#*******#!!!# #******#!!!!#
#*********#!###!*!*!*#!!!!!# --
#!*!*!*!*!*!#!##########!!!!# /_
###########!##!!!!!!!!!!#!!!# //__
###!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!####///
##!#!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#
_ ##!!#!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!######!!!!!!!*#
\ ##!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!####### #!!!!!!***#
___\#!!!###################***** #...!!*****#
/ #!!!.# ***** # *** #....*******#
#*....# *** # #.......*****#
#**.....## ***** ##........!!****#
#!........## *******#########......#...!!!!!*#
#!...........#######.*****...............#.#..!!!!**#
#*.....##.............#..#...............#...#.!!****#
#*....#.#............#....#............##......!*****#
#*.......##.......###......###........#.......!!!****#
#*.........#######......!!....########.......!!!!!***#
#!!!.................!!!!!!!!.............!!!*******#
#!!!!............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******#
#*******!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***!!!!*****#
#******!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!********!!****#
##*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#*************###
##****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!###******####
####!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!######!#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***##
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*******#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!##
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*##
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!####!!!!!!****##
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!###****##!!!!******##
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!##**!!*****#!!!********#
#!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#***!!!!***!!!!**********#
#!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#****!!!!!*!!!!!!!!!!*****#
#!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!#*!!***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!!#*!!!!!*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!********#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**********#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*********#
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!********##
##!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!#!!!!!#*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****#!*##
#!#!!!!!!!!######!!!!!!#!!!!!#**!!!!!!!!!!#########!!!!*#!!**##
#!#!#!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!#***!!!!!####******!!!#######!!**#
#!#!!##!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!############*!!!#********!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**#
#!#!!#!#!!#!!!#!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#***********!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#
#!#!!!#!#!#!!#!!!!!!!#!!!!#!!!!#!!!!!#**********!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**#
#!!#!!!#!##!!#!!!!!!#!!!!#!!!!#!!!!!!#************!!!!!!!!!!****#
######### ##########!!!!#!!!!#!!!!!!#**********!!!!!!!!!!!!***#
#################************!!!!!!!!!!**#
#**********!!!!!#########
###############Squeak-
ICOT-
coke-
B”H happily married with a couple of kids.
I always tell my wife that even if the only thing she ever did for me was remove me from the parsha I’d still be forever indebted to her.
coke-
What was the difference besides some additional information?
Keep in mind that the last time I posted this story was over 9 months ago, while the story itself happened close to 10 years ago.
I can only try-
Let me get you started-
There are two variables to keep in mind:
1. The distance between the center of the dropped pencil to the closest line, let’s call this variable “x” and
2. The acute angle between the pencil and the pencil and all the lines (since they are parallel). Let’s call this variable “y” (since I don’t know how to get the Greek Letter “theta” on my keyboard).
The variable “x” can take on values between 0 and 1/2 (recall that the distance between stripes is 1 and the width of the line separating the stripes is negligible).
The variable “y” can take on values between 0 and 90 (in degrees, any angle 90 degrees and above is not acute).
squeak,
No, I’m definitely not running out. There are some stories I’m not posting out of fear that of my account being blocked. Others I’m not posting without permission (and I’m not going to call someone out of the blue after not talking to them for 10 years to ask permission to post a story).
There are numerous reasons why I may post a rerun;
1. I’m losing my eidetic memory,
2. For the benefit of the newcomers who may not have read all of the other stories,
3. It brings you out of hiding,
4. It’s a test of who is paying attention,
just to name a few.
I’m looking forward to having a sino steak with you at KD, when will you be there and how will I know who you are?
Pac-Man (and anyone else trying to keep count)-
The number isn’t as high as the stories imply but it is higher than it should have been (honesty in shidduchim is beyond the scope of this thread).
I’m not sure which one of these is worse than the other but since they get slightly intertwined at the end I’ll post them both and let my fellow posters vote on it.
#1 => It was obvious that the shadchan was senile (she told my parents that she knew we were for each other since I was R”L in college and her father was R”L a college graduate- yes she used those words!). Aside from the shadchan the girl sounded normal.
The girl lived a five hour drive away, and I have an aunt and uncle that live about an hour away from her but just a few minutes out of the way. Being that my grandparents were visiting at the time, I was planning on stopping by to visit after the date.
Since I was making good timing I decided to visit my grandparents on the way there and get ready for the date (instead of changing into a suit at a rest area).
My grandmother was soooooo relieved to see me- “the shadchan is going briogess (or whatever the word is), she’s trying to get in touch with you before you get to the girls house and your cell phone is off. The girl was so excited to go out with you that she called her Rebbatzin from seminary and told her all about you. The Rebbatzin said that since you are in college she should only go out with you as a last resort.”
I spent a nice afternoon taking my grandparents shopping.
#2 => (Pac-Man, don’t increase the counter for this one either since I already mentioned her in ==>this story<==.)
After our second date or so (and after I agreed to go out again) I found out that she had a boyfriend- thank you GOOGLE. I didn’t know (or care) what her involvment was (was he chasing her, did she like the attention…) The guy was someone that I knew but wasn’t that friendly with, although I did end up becoming closer friends with him since our wives are friends.
I tricked him into sending me an e-mail where he mentioned her (he said they were currently at Starbucks or B&N together), printed it up and left it in the glove compartment for her to find. (Did I mention that she was nosy?)
Sure enough she found it and read it. WOW, I wish I could have framed that expression!
“Really, you have to believe me, I have no idea who this guy is, I mean I have no idea where he even got my name from…”
“It’s fine”, I assured her, “I just wanted to make sure he made it all up”.
As you all can guess it was over after that.
Between college, yeshiva, teaching, waiting for her to do the dirty work (and coming up with an excuse for the shadchan) it did take a few days until I gave an answer.
In the interim the senile shadchan called back and said (not in these exact words) that the girl was getting desperate and her Rebbatzin said she could go out with me since it was a last resort. When my mother told her that I was busy, she suggested that maybe my brother would want to go out with her.
“Well if you think that my sons are looking for the same type of girl than you obviously don’t know them well enough to set them up!”
After hanging up she looked at me and said, “maybe she is senile afterall…”.
Epilouge:
Some time later, after the three of us (me, girl #2 and her other ex) were married, the six of us were invited to a wedding or sheva berachos that was seperate seating. As fate would have it us three men were seated at the misfit table, and I put my place card next to my friend while I went to wash. I came back to see that her husband was sitting in my seat. Grabbing the opportunity to see who knew what I said to him, “you’re not going to take my seat also, are you?”
He stood up politely and apologized, the other guy was laughing so hard he started to choke on the beer he was drinking.
Is that why you don’t believe the story?
Let’s just say that at first glance I thought that her looks weren’t her strong points.
After being with her for a few minutes I realized that compared to her attitude, her looks were her strong points.
I decided to cut the date short since we both knew it wasn’t going to happen. Unfortunately we got stuck in horrible traffic due to an accident. (There were some fatalities, and she had the nerve telling the shadchan that I had no business keeping her out so long the way it was going.)
After dropping her off at home I walked her to the door and to my utter disappointment she used her hand to cover the combination while she opened the door, I had plans of robbing the house in middle of the night.
Time to purchase some rare earth magnets…
Probably not a true story but here is goes…
When I was in Eretz Yisroel I volunteered to go collecting before before Pesach. There were strict rules- we had to be dressed in Shabbos clothing, we always had to be with a partner as well as the common sense rules.
Then the guy in charge told us a story about one guy whose collecting partner had to leave and he continued the route on his own. At one house the couple invited him in to sit down, asked him to say a Dvar Torah, have some cake and a drink- then asked him if he’s ready to meet his daughter…
In subsequent years the story got better and better. This time there was a knock on the door during the Dvar Torah, the father asked to be excused for a second, slipped the guy at the door a 50 Shekel bill and then returned.
Mazel tov, may you and your husband always have lots of ??? from her and your sons.
May the two of you also be zoche to always pay full tuition for her while having some extra $$ for chicken and housework.
🙂
Mother in Israel-
A former prime minister of yours, Ariel Sharon, married his sister-in-law after his first wife (her older sister) was killed in a car accident.
But I’ll agree with you that it’s not that common.
I’ve been called many things before, but I’ve never been called Joseph.
Here are some hints to get you started:
1. Ignore the width of the table- (i.e. assume that the probability of the pencil landing on the table is 1).
2. Pretend that the pencil and lines separating the stripes are one dimensional and thus have a width of 0.
3. You can use any pencil length and stripe width but the easiest measurements are a width of 1 for the stripe and an length of 1/2 for the pencil.
4. The two factors to take into account are
A. How far into a particular stripe does the center of the pencil land?
B. The angle (from 0 to 90) that the pencil lands. (It’s easier to use radians…)
I can’t believe I just gave away so many hints.
Squeak-
Since it’s Friday and we can’t go to KD, are you up to going to Big Fleishig for a Heimisha Hoagie?
*I did cheat once.
squeak-
You want to know how to understand the question? Here’s how you should understand the question:
Back in November some poster sent me on a wild goose chase looking around lower Manhattan for a trailer. I ended up going into restricted property, spent three months in jail and three months of supervised probation with no access to the Internet.
I finally get out and try to remember which website got me into the mess in the first place. After doing a Google search I came across this site but I couldn’t remember the posters name. Eventually it came back to me but I couldn’t find any recent posts by the said person.
That question was asked in the hopes that someone who knows you may be able to shed some light as to your current status. Did you change screen names? Get promoted (/ demoted) to moderator?…
But it’s good to see you back.
Do you want to go have a sino steak with me at KD?
(I’ll tell you the real story about how I found the trailer.)
During one semester at college I used to get a ride home with another guy from yeshiva. One evening he was having a test and asked if I could get a ride home from someone else in the class.
I answered that the only other frum people who live nearby are females and it will be yichud at that hour.
He (jokingly) told me that there is no issur of yichud with a girl taking calculus.
For some reason I decided to repeat this on a date and the girl just stared at me stone faced.
“You don’t find that funny?” I asked.
“Uh, I’m currently taking Calc II”.
Well, she ended up saying “no”, I can’t imagine why?
Mother in Israel
WOW, some one else also?
May his parents also be zoche to be megadel him L’torah, l’chupa ul’maasim tovim.
🙂
It’s good to be back while they need me.
Mod-80
Can you let me know how long this contract is for?
Thanks
Mother in Israel-
Mazel Tov,
Good thing your son wasn’t born on Sunday or you would have named him Lag Ba’omer.
May you be zoche to be megadel him L’torah, l’chupa ul’maasim tovim.
Has anyone heard from Squeak?
Did yo hear the news?
Dr. Pepper found his screws,
He’s back it’s true?
Ha ha ha got you!
Have a Happy April Fools!
coke-
I don’t live there but I plan on being there on Sunday.
This might be against CR rules but I think we should each hold something that says our name on it.
squeak-
I assumed you were my mothers age based on a few posts- one of them being the riddle with the monkey which you read in a magazine in the 50s.
Please forgive me if you were offended. (The last thing I need is for you to start hitting me with your cane when BP Totty and I look for the “wagon”.)
By the way- how did you solve that riddle? Was it the same method I used?
Also- how old do you think I am?
??????? ???????
15 years ago Yitzhak Rabin was shot. He later died of his injuries.
squeak-
You’re being very cryptic but I think I know what you’re talking about. I’m not a member of any “society” as of now (hopefully soon I will be though). (I still have no idea what the “wagon” refers to.)
In any case the “society” that I’m trying to get membership in lists all the members of the other “society” in its directory. (They also publish a yearbook listing all the members of both societies.)
Being that I can’t think of anyone my mothers age asking the ==>>Monkey Riddle<<== I’ll have to agree that we don’t know each other.
adorable-
So ask him where he’ll be biking this Sunday and you can be a fly on the wall.
If it will make things easier we can go visit Bubby BP this Sunday.
Like I was trying to say in another thread- this is why I appreciate my wife so much. She doesn’t start up with burly truck drivers and expect me to be manly and protect her.
Had I not gone out with that other person I never would have known that some people do.
This is probably more of a terrifying moment but since I survived I’ll classify it as an embarrassing moment.
I was on a date with a girl and we were sitting in a cafe drinking soda while I was listening to her talk and talk and talk.
Four burly truck drivers sat down next to us to have lunch and schmooze. One of them cracked a joke and they all started laughing, but one of them was laughing really loud.
“OMG”, she exclaimed, “that guy sounds like a hyena when he laughs”.
I quickly thought of an excuse (“I honestly don’t know who she is, she just sat down across from me and started talking…”), but luckily they didn’t bother us.
squeak-
Do we know each other in real life?
I assume you’re old enough to be my mother.
Sacrilege-
Everyone is different.
APushetaYid-
I thought of another reason:
The harder you work for something the more you appreciate it.
Had my wife been the first one I went out with I might have thought that everyone is normal, but since I had to have so many crazy incidents I appreciate her much more since I know she’s one of a kind.
But I do agree with you that you need bitachon.
BP Totty-
I am laughing so hard as I type this. We took the kids for a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge last Sunday and we both predicted that we were going to see you on the bridge (surveying the new building going up nearby). Each time we passed a Frum person we looked at each other and shook our heads “no”. At one point a chassidishe guy flew by us on a bike with his beard flying in the wind and his payos we horizontal- we looked at each other and simultaneously said “there he is”.
This didn’t happen on YWN but a site that my wife goes on.
My wife has a knack for figuring out who people are and two of the screen names that she figured out are sisters in real life.
Anyway- my wife and I get a kick out of watching their discussions go on and on (apparently they haven’t discovered each other yet but they seem to be good friends).
I really don’t know all the details involved so I can’t comment on your particular situation.
When I was younger there were times that my father had to work late- some times very late. He would come home for supper, help us with homework, tell us a good night story and go back to work. When we got up in the morning he was already in shul to learn and daven. He would eat breakfast with us and go to work.
Does your husband have the option of coming home for an hour or two and then returning? It could make a world of a difference.
Where I work, the company allows remote access from basically any computer connected to the Internet. Does your husbands employer have that option?
I really feel for you, I look forward to getting home at a decent hour to see my wife and kids.
Hopefully something can be worked out.
Good Luck!
Can you at least say what it is? (Or should I just dust off my “Jump to Conclusion” mat?)
I think you knew good and well that there is no way to solve this using a Venn Diagram- it’s not a problem involving subsets.
My original intentions was to get you to divulge what the “wagon” is (and the Venn Diagram involved in that case) but that didn’t work.
If Moish01 ever comes back to visit maybe he’ll show us how to make Venn Diagrams out of text.
What bracha in the regular weekday shemona esrei mentions a person and his grandson but not his son?
squeak and ICOT-
The method is correct but I like to set it up differently.
This riddle falls under the category of Bayesian Estimation with a Discrete Prior. (Sounds innocent to me?)
I like setting it up in a table like a spreadsheet.
There is one column for each category, in this case two.
Line one is the “Prior Probability”, or the probability of being in the category.
Line two is the probability of of that outcome for that group.
Line three is the product of line one and two. It is summed at the end.
Line four is line three divided by the sum of line three. It gives us what’s called the “posterior probabilities”.
in Excel-
0.014285714 0.985714286
0.92 0.02
0.013142857 0.019714286 0.032857143
0.4 0.6Using formulas:
=1/70 =69/70
=0.92 =0.02
=A1*A2 =B1*B2 =SUM(A3:B3)
=A3/C3 =B3/C3So there is a .4 or 40% chance of having the allergy given that he had the allergic reaction.
The benefit of this method is that one doesn’t need a Venn Diagram to solve it.
frumladygit-
Sorry if it wasn’t clear.
I was trying to show off my sholom bayis skills learned in chosson class so I complimented my wife that this is the best supper she ever made. The only problem was that it wasn’t my wife who made supper, it was the guests.
Wow oomis1105- that’s a good one.
This happened indoors but is still embarrassing.
A few months after we got married my sister-in-law and her friends had a G.O. convention or something nearby and asked if they could come over for supper.
I had no idea about this but they came early, told my wife she could have the afternoon off and made supper for her.
Of course I had to show off what a good husband I am so I made sure to compliment my wife. “You know Honey- this is the best supper you ever made.”
After a long, uncomfortable silence someone explained what happened.
oomis1105-
I left you a link in the Limericks thread, I guess you missed it.
Thanks for clearing that up.
minyan gal-
How much did the government spend to put man on the moon?
How much does it cost to provide all citizens with the best medical coverage?
Does that answer your question
Can I use a Venn Diagram?
Where do you live that insurance is only $400 a month? What kind of insurance is that? What does it cover? Our insurance is over $1400 a month (self plus spouse and children, my employer pays most of it).
You probably should look into getting a legal job. Health insurance is very expensive (and it’s going to increase drastically when the new stuff goes into effect).
SJSinNYC-
I agree, Hashem created everyone and everything for a purpose.
I found him guilty based on his lawyers stupidity and arrogance but that was before jury selection. I wasn’t picked for the case though. (Supposedly if you stare down the defendant they remove you?)
bombmaniac
a trial by jury is nothing more than a popularity contest. think about, you drag 12 people who were too dumb to get out of jury duty in the first place out of their la Z boys
I think it’s a problem that people have this attitude, if CV one of us were to be on trial what are the chances that we can have a jury of our peers?
Recently when I had jury duty I used it as an opportunity to catch up on personal stuff (my employer gives us off for jury duty).
I met R’ Reuven Feinstein by Shachris, told him that I had jury duty and asked him for advice. His response was “If I could go why can’t you”. (My intended question was “What are my responsibilities as a Yid in a secular court?”)
By the way, I didn’t notice any other Frum people there.