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Josh31-
At a restaurant with my wife recently we were showed a table and a waitress came to take our order, that was the last time we saw her. We then had to wash the silverware ourselves since it was dirty. A different waiter brought us our food, we had to get up ourselves to get more water, ask someone to remove our plates when we were done, ask for the dessert menu and get the bill. “At least we saved some money because we don’t have to tip” joked my wife.
“Nope”, I responded, “they are one step ahead of us, they included an 18% tip in the bill”.
Had the tip not been included automatically we would have received different service.
(We still go back since we like the food. On our last visit the waiter tried to remember our order and got it all wrong, but the food was good anyway.)
I was never a waiter in camp but when I worked in a camp I got up early to daven with the waiters (with all the distractions that go on with making sure your young campers are sitting, behaving and davening during davening I thought I could have more kavannah if I daven earlier with the waiters).
These individuals have to get up earlier than other staff members, set up and clean up after three meals a day and they only get noticed if something goes wrong.
Waiters definitely deserve a tip.
oomis1105-
I agree that people should be allowed to know their status if they desire but keep in mind that Dor Yeshorim is subsidized and this is how they decided to run it. As far as they are concerned- you can go to a lab (pay full price) and asked to be tested for whatever genetic disease you would like to know the status of.
I know of a large family where the two parents got tested by a lab and got the results. They found this cheaper than each of their 10 kids getting tested through Dor Yeshorim.
Who ever runs it feels that there are reasons why it is better for one not to know their status that outweigh the reasons to know it. One obvious reason is the stigma that will be associated with any person/ family that is a carrier. (One rumor I heard is that if a couple both know they are carriers, get married anyways and R”L have a child with the genetic disease, the insurance company can claim it was a pre-existing condition.)
If a potential couple is found to be incompatible they are notified as to which disease they are both carriers of. The reason being is that there is a false positive result in a small percentage of cases (4% in the case I am familiar with) and the potential couple can go for genetic counseling and have more expensive tests done ($500 each in that instance) that have a much higher accuracy rate.
I can only try-
That’s the answer the I got. Here’s how I did it:
For the two machines, let’s call them x and y, plot their lives on a 15 * 15 graph with the life of x on the x-axis and the life of y on the y-axis. Draw a 45 degree angle line from the origin to 15,15 to show the possible places where x can break down. (It’s a straight line since any point in time has an equal probability of the machine breaking down there.)
Now draw two more 45 degree angle lines, the first should be shifted one unit to the left of the first line and the other one should be shifted one unit to the right of the first one. The area created by those two lines and bounded by the 15 * 15 graph is 1-196/225 = 12.88889%.
The way I calculated the area is by first calculating the “negative” area and subtracting. On the outside there are two triangles with the same area. Each is a right triangle with legs of length 14. the area is (14 * 14)/2, therefore the are of both triangles is 14 * 14 = 196. The total area of the graph is 15 * 15 = 225. Subtracting the triangles from the graph gives us 1 – (196/225) = 12.888889%.
Do you want to publish a paper on this with me? You can earn an Erd?s number of 5.
moishy asked for “interesting and/or funny stories”. Funny Shidduch Stories is a subset of interesting and/or funny stories.
I felt that if he wants to have a good laugh while waiting for others to post interesting and/or funny stories he could start there.
Here’s one-
One Erev Shabbos, my brothers and I went to visit a former neighbor who was not Frum and wasn’t doing to well physically. He had recently moved to an upscale non-frum neighborhood and they weren’t used to seeing Frum people around.
After we wished him a Gut Shabbos and left a neighbor came running out of his house and said “were you just here for Steve?” after we nodded yes he started crying, “I can’t believe it, I just saw him and he looked so good, I can’t imagine how it happened so fast, oy, his poor wife and kids…”. We had no idea what he was talking about until he asked where the hearse is.
We then realized that there is only one time when he sees frum people in suits. He then warned us that if we ever pull that prank again we had better be wearing ties with Mickey Mouse on it so that he knows we are not the real ones.
Health- I totally agree with you, that’s why Dor Yeshorim works the way it does. Even being a carrier is a stigma when there is nothing to worry about if the other partner is not a carrier.
The reason why we are behind the goyim is because of the modest way we go about finding a spouse. If a guy is given five names and information of potential dates and one of them has a “stigma”, she will immediately be eliminated.
If the goyim would date the same way as us there would be the same stigmas.
I can only try-
Sorry, but you started off wrong, a uniform rate over fifteen years means that it can not survive past fifteen years. The odds of both machines breaking down in the fifteen year period is 100%.
oomis1105-
I always tried to go out of my way to make sure that I would not offend anyone that I went out with. (I dreaded the thought of calling them on Erev Yom Kippur to ask for forgiveness.)
On more than one occasion I agreed to go on a second date with a girl so that she wouldn’t think I was saying no because of her looks.
However, the first time a shadchan told me that the girl was thin and pretty, and that was clearly not the case, I admit that I was taken aback and I sincerely hope she did not notice. I did take her out on a second date and then said I felt she wasn’t for me.
After that I was always prepared in case the girl wasn’t as described.
I sure hope I didn’t hurt the girls feeling but if I did the shadchan is the one responsible.
Once they break that is it, they are not fixed or replaced.
Squeak & sofdavarhakolnishma,
When she said the word “tip” she meant “advice”, he thought she meant good old Ben Franklin. I don’t think she was trying to tease him.
Slight tangent-
A friend on mine was telling me how annoyed he was that he barely got any tips. He was thrilled when a mother dropping off her son said, “Hey Moishy, do you want to come here for a second- I have a tip for you?”.
He hurried over and she then lifted up her sons shirt, pointed to his back and said “If I ever forget to send suntan lotion again please let him wear his undershirt for swimming”.
Back to the main topic…
WolfishMusings-
I definitely did not mean to make a confrontation or be disrespectful, you just have understand that in high school I always had a calculator on me (besides for Shabbos and if I was wearing pajamas that didn’t have pockets). I routinely whipped it out during class (both Limudei Kodesh and Limudeo Chol) with out thinking. The Rebbe got defensive because he knew that he made it up on the spot.
Had I been a person that normally did not take a calculator everywhere I would not have brought one just to put him on the spot.
I long suspected that a Rebbe of mine made up gematrias as he went along (after all who can mentally add up the gematria of a possuk and challenge him). I once whipped out a calculator and started adding up the words he was quoting, he got all defensive and said “put that away, this is Limudei Kodesh, not Limudeo Chol”.
The moral of the story, I believe, is that people feel they will have more credibility if they quote something that more than 99% of the population will not be able to refute on the spot.
All the information needed to solve the problem is there. The rate that they break down is uniform over 15 years (in other words, there is no day where it is more likely to break than any other day).
I hope this answers your question.
A company has two new machines, the probability of either one breaking is uniformly distributed over 15 years (it has the same chance of breaking after half a year as it does after 15 years).
What is the probability of the two machines breaking within a year of each other?
Hint: It is easier to calculate the chances of them not breaking within a year of each other and subtracting that from 1.
While at the Brooklyn Marriott a couple of years back for the Lakewood Dinner my friend asked one of his single sisters to come with him on a “date” to the lounge to see how many guys will date at the Brooklyn Marriott while the yeshiva is having the dinner there.
They saw three other couples.
speaktruth-
I meant that just like campers shouldn’t say things that make the staff member feel uncomfortable so too the staff member shouldn’t say things that will make the campers feel uncomfortable.
How do you think I felt? Was it my fault that my parents were tipping one week later than the other parents? It’s not as if I had my own money when I was a preteen.
I didn’t want to offend all Kohanim and red heads so I just left it to your imagination.
(The shadchan also asked if her first name bothers him but I didn’t mention that so that anyone else with that name wouldn’t feel self conscience about it.)
Shadchan: “Does your son mind red heads? Because if he does the girl is willing to wear a different color sheitel after the wedding?”
Mom: “I don’t know, I never asked him.”
Shadchan: “Can you ask him and let me know?”
Mom: “Sure, anything else?”
Shadchan: “Oh yeah, come to think of it, is your son a Kohain?”
Mom: “Yes”
Shadchan: “Oh, in that case never mind, her mother said it’s not good for a Kohain to marry a red head!”
I felt very awkward giving a tip to a teenage girl at my kids’ day camp so I gave it to my kids to give to them (they are not the type of kids to hold the tip hostage).
It also goes the other way. One summer I was going home for the weekend after visiting day so my parents didn’t come up on visiting day. My counselor mentioned to me that I should “remember to bring something back” for him. And no, he did not mean a burger from Kosher Delight.
A friend received a call for information about me after I had told the shadchan that I felt the girl she suggested wasn’t for me. (The friend knew I wasn’t interested but due to a communication error the shadchan told the mother I had agreed to go out with her daughter.)
He decided to answer all of her “brilliant” questions with even better answers.
Mother-in-law of the year: “So what is he looking for in a wife?”
Mr. Friend: “I honestly don’t know, I got engaged before he was even thinking of dating and we never had a serious discussion about what he is looking for.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “If you had a sister of marriageable age, would-“
Mr. Friend: “I actually do have a sister who is currently on the market.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “Well, would you let your sister go out with him?”
Mr. Friend: “No way, I wouldn’t even consider it.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “Why not?”
Mr. Friend: “My sister is looking for a long term learner and he is going to college and plans to get a job after a few years of Kollel.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “What if that’s what your sister is looking for, then would you let them go out?”
Mr. Friend: “For sure, I would have set them up along time ago.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “Let’s say he marries my daughter and they have a child together. If the baby wakes up in middle of the night, will he take care of the baby or would he make my daughter get out of bed?”
Mr. Friend: “To tell you the truth, in all the years we’ve been roommates that situation never came up.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “OK, I see. Let’s try another scenario. Let’s say they get married and they go to the wedding of one of her friends. Being that he doesn’t know anyone there- will he dance during the dancing or just eat?”
Mr. Friend: “I actually thought of that question myself recently and decided to see for myself what he would do when he is at a wedding where he doesn’t know anyone, but since I was there and he knew me I couldn’t find out.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “My husband gives the 6:00 A.M. Daf Yomi Shiur at our shul every morning, would he be prepared to give it if my husband has to go out of town?”
Mr. Friend: “I don’t get up before 9:00 A.M. so I don’t know what he is capable of doing at 6 in the morning.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “Can you please put your wife on the phone?”
Mr. Friend: “Sure, but she doesn’t know him at all.”
Mrs. Friend: “Hello, nice to speak with you.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “Can you do me a favor? Go get your rolling pin and whack your husband over the head until you knock some sense into him.”
Mr. Friend (taking back the phone): “I can’t say for sure what he is looking for but I can say for sure what he is not looking for.”
Mother-in-law of the year: “What’s that?”
Mr. Friend: “He definitely does not want a violent mother-in-law!”
She actually called the shadchan to say she was interested and the shadchan had to tell her that she made a mistake and that I had never agreed in the first place.
The mother then asked another shadchan, who is also a family friend, to personally suggest the shidduch, but again it was turned down.
I hope to continue with my regular schedule.
Gabboim-
I agree with you, even more so if the computer you are using to go online belongs to the company.
Some one asked the Chief Technology Officer at an all employee meeting if we can surf the web while we are supposed to be working. He gave permission on a few conditions:
1. We get all our work done at the end of the day regardless,
2. We don’t use the Internet for anything “unprofessional” (use your imagination- the IP address can be traced to the company)
3. It does not impact anyone else’s ability to work (downloading movies during business hours can use up a good portion of the bandwidth).
(It is explicitly stated in the company policy that since we are a financial institution- everything that takes place on any computer that is logged into under our user-name and password is permanently recorded and is our responsibility.)
hereorthere- In my opinion you should be entitled to a coffee break here and there and you should feel free to do what ever you want with your personal property (iPad…) during that time, but that all changes if the boss specifically says otherwise.
When I was in Israel a sweet middle aged woman who lived nearby came to the dira and asked how she can wash her husbands tzitzis without ruining the strings.
Everyone else admitted that they never wash their tzitzis but I showed her how to wrap the strings in aluminum foil and put the beged in a mesh bag and how to hang it up to dry as opposed to using a dryer.
I offered to lend her the mesh bag but she admitted that it was just a test to see who was good enough for her niece.
“Would you like to go out with her?”
“Sorry, I would love to have you as an aunt, but I’m only 19.”
I can only try-
I prefer to call them variables but thanks for the compliment.
Maybe Chofetz Chaim can verify this but I just read that the Chofetz Chaim married his step-sister.
RISE
RILE
FILE
FILL
FALL
CALM
CALL
WALL
WILL
WILD
A novel about his pseudonym alone would make a best seller.
I think I get it: Zev = Wolf?
emoticon613-
Supposedly he wrote another book, “Samson’s Lion” but under a pseudonym.
I think “Alef Shin” and “Every Man a Slave” were written by the same author.
oomis1105-
During a phone call in between dates my wife asked if we could have an argument. I picked a topic which had nothing to do with us personally and I knew we wouldn’t agree on (we still don’t). We had a pleasant “disagreement” and at the end we agreed that we can respect each other’s opinions even thought they are different.
I was good to see that we could get along without agreeing on everything.
There are many parameters to take into account- your knowledge in the field, the need of the person being tutored, the amount of readily available tutors and the going rate.
I normally do not charge for tutoring but the last time I charged it was for $65 per hour. The parents were willing to pay any price for their son to pass his math regents so he wouldn’t have to take summer school.
Why isn’t it fair? Both Air France and BA retired their fleet in 2003.
The guy came to empty the lock boxes with confidential company information and told me that our company actually makes money when we put papers in there as opposed to shredding them ourselves since the destroyed and recycled documents get sold to Marcal to make tissues.
“Cool”, I said, “Next time I wipe my nose I’ll check if my name is on the tissue”.
“Actually”, he replied, “I’d sooner look out for the staples”!
I think I’m missing something. Please let me know where I’m going wrong.
There are two sets of three wires, each set has a black (hot) wire, a white (neutral) wire and a bare (ground) wire.
The bare wires from both sets are connected to each other and the frame of the fixture. One of the remaining sets of black and white wires are connected to the corresponding black and white wires from the fixture and the other black and white wire are connected to each other.
Is that correct?
If there is a black (hot) wire connected to a white (neutral) wire and there is electricity flowing to the black wire- wouldn’t that blow a fuse?
SJSinNYC knows one of them- check out this post: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/funny-shidduch-stories/page/7#post-55074
This was in response to a post of mine that got deleted asking how they “happened” to have feelings for each other while cleaning for Pesach.
Depends on the 5th grader. The father who asked me to help his son couldn’t figure it out.
The topic itself was tree diagrams but I thought the question might have been tricky for a 5th grader who might not realize that the two events are not mutually exclusive.
I came across this question while helping a 5th grader do his homework. While the answer is clearly 1/6 (use the brute force method if necessary) I’m curious to know if this is what the teacher had in mind.
(The question before was exactly the same except that the first marble was reblaced after noting what color it was.)
There are four marbles of different colors: white, blue, red and green. You pick two with out replacement.
What are the chances of picking a non-green one in the first pick and a white one on the second pick?
This is a potential office prank I’m contemplating pulling on my supervisor in honor of her recent promotion.
She is nervous about becoming an officer since the company is responsible for her actions.
Some background first-
About two hundred employees under the CFO were trained for 18 months to work on a project at lightning speeds. What used to take two weeks now only takes 4 days. It’s very stressful as everything is timed and there are close to 800 dependencies which can be messed up by a single employee taking too long for a single task.
I heard rumors as to when the next project is going to be.
The plan is for me and my colleagues who report to this manager to schedule a meeting with her and tell her “in confidence” that our wives are expecting at that time and we plan on using only some, say a week or so, of the companies generous paternity leave plan.
She will have to somehow find replacements for all of us for those high stress days and she won’t be allowed to tell her supervisors why.
Anyone like this idea?
Not a prank, just a funny story from high school.
About six months after the Yeshivas building was completed the massive hot water tank died. Still under warranty, the contractors sent a couple burly plumbers (who were apparently experts at plumbing, but not personal hygiene) to schlep out the old one and install the new one.
I commented to one of the plumbers that a brand new commercial hot water tank should last at least 12 months. Right?
In all seriousness he looks at me and says, “What do you guys do? Shower every DAY!”.
The rest of them burst out laughing at his sarcasm.
Yes, that’s it, it’s in Baltimore.
No, that was a real typo.
I had something else in mind.
No
Is that the only obvious mistake you noticed?
Stage freight: being scared of getting up in front of many people.