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People might not have the above sefer so I am stating his conclusion as follows:
שו”ת יחוה דעת חלק ג סימן עו
בסיכום: הנוהג להפריש מעות מעשר ממשכורתו, ומכל רווחיו, רשאי לנכות מדמי המעשר, דמי פרנסת וכלכלת בניו ובנותיו הגדולים היתרים על גיל שש שנים, ואפילו הם סמוכים על שלחנו. וכן רשאי לסייע ממעות מעשר בהוצאות נישואי בניו ובנותיו, כגון לצורך דירה ורהיטים וכיוצא בזה, כדי שיוכלו לבנות את ביתם. וכל שכן כשבניו ממשיכים לעסוק בתורה בכוללים הרבים אשר נתברכנו בהם, וכן כשבנותיו נישאות לתלמידי חכמים השוקדים באהלה של תורה, שמצוה גדולה היא לפרנסם בכבוד, וצדקה גדולה היא, והקרוב קרוב קודם. (וראה באור זרוע הלכות צדקה סימן כ”ב, כ”ג, כ”ו). ומה טוב ומה נעים שהרוצה להפריש מעשר מכל רווחיו, וממשכורתו, יתנה מראש במפורש לפני שיבוא לו הריוח או המשכורת, שיוכל לעשות במעות המעשר כל מצוה שירצה כפי ראות עיניו. ואם לא התנה כן בפירוש, יעשה התרה בפני שלשה על שלא אמר שהוא מפריש המעשר בלי נדר, ואחר שיתירו לו, יתנה התנאי הנ”ל. ואם שעתו דחוקה מבחינה כלכלית, ואין ידו משגת לנהוג מעשר כספים מכל משכורתו או רווחיו, יתנה מראש שיתן המעשר רק לאחר ניכוי הוצאות ביתו. אבל מי שחננו ה’ בעושר, וידו משגת, יאחז צדיק דרכו לתת כל המעשר לעניים ולאביונים ולעמלי תורה ולישיבות הקדושות. ועץ חיים היא למחזיקים
.בה ותומכיה מאושרLook at the Yechaveh Daas (3,76) from Rav Ovadyah Josef.
The Shach’s view is that you are only suppose to support your children until age 6.
I would like to here also more about people who were sent home from hospital and were taken off the ventilator.
To disseminate Torah, discuss halachic issues and political toics.
abukspan, isn’t this a duplicate?
חכמים הזהרו בדבריכם a president must be careful what he says or he does not say. People put their trust in him.
abukspan, I have to apologize that I misread your vort. I am talking about one thing and you are talking about another. You are talking about someone who has not personally hurt you and you hate him for doing an aveira and I am talking about someone who harmed you, so you hate him. אלו ואלו דברי אלקים חיים they are both true.
See Rambam Hilchas Deas (6,6) about resolving the hatred by telling about it and if you want to make peace with your full heart, he will not hate you for it.
We have to resove the fakeness שלום אל רעהו ידבר ובקרבו ישים ארבו don’t act like a friend by speaking nicely and plan against him in your heart but tell him about your feelings inside.
The reason that hatered in the heart and admonishment are two separate mitzvos is that admonishment can exist without doing him any personal harm as the gemora says in Shabbos 55,1. Even though we should not hate our fellow Jew, people are human and Torah recognizes this and wants us to resolve our feelings by telling him about it and not stop talking to each other, which will bring to peace.
It should be above, the reason you should not hate him.
Another situation of sinas chinom, futile hatred, as pointed out in the above Yad Yosef when a person has an unexcusable hatred where you cannot even tell him about it. Jealousy is an example, where you cannot tell him, I hate you because I am jealous of you, so the hatred is kept bottled up in the heart.
It does not say in Kedoshim you are not allowed to hate. It says, don’t keep your hatred bottled up in your heart but tell him about it which will resolve the hatred as the Rashbam points out. If you hate him without telling him about it is sinas chinom as the Yad Yosef on the Ein Yaakov Yoma 9, indicates. The reason you should not him is as the Sefer Hachinuch under lo sukam, don’t take revenge,says because he is only a shaliach of Hashem who is not directly causing your grief.
I am explaining the Ksav Sofer that Moshe Rabbenu figured that his children will put more effort in their learning.
From your vort above something was missing. It did not explain why they did not want to have children.
Maybe because of lack of time, Moshe Rabbenu overestimated his children and expected more from them.
The Kol Aryeh, a talmid of the Chasam Sofer, explains the idea that the neshama wants constantly to return to its source. There are two things which hold it back, one fear and two the yetzer hara. Over here, there was no mitzva involved, so no yetzer hara. They performed their sacrifice completely from love. This is the meaning that their closeness to Hashem made them die. He expains another reason why the kohen gadol needed bells on his shirt. To wake him up from getting into a trance because of love.
I wil try to put their drinking in a good light. They wanted to do the avodah with simcha, so they drank wine which also brought them to make mistakes. There error was that simcha should come from the avodah itself.
Very nice.
The Ksav Sofer in Parashas Shmini explains the expression מתי ימותו זקנים הללו ואני ואתה ננהיג הצבור when will these elders die and we will be leaders. It sounds very strange that they hoped that the elders will die and they will become leaders. They took a lesson from Moshe Rabbenu that his children did not behave properly because he did not have time to spend with them to raise them as he was busy with leadership. They said if they will die, we become leaders and we won’t be able to bring up our children properly. Therefore, they decided not to get married to have children. This was a strange fire figuratively in their mind as Chezkiya did not want to get married to have Menasheh.
I heard from Rebbi, the Matisdorfer Rav, Rav Shmuel ztz’l about the Pressburger Rav, Rav Akiva Sofer ztz’l that sometimes we need someone who can read the mind. It says ‘א-ל דעות ה when one is openly a tzadik and another is a rasha, it is easy to differentiate who is who but when both are uttering Hashem’s name we need special understanding to recognize who is who, which he possessed. He recognized it by looking on one’s forehead.
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There might be another reason they didn’t listen to the judges. מי שיש בו יראת שמים דבריו נשמעים asks the Bina Leitim, it should have said ישמעו דבריו as he didn’t speak yet?
He answers that he doesn’t need to speak. His Yiras Shomayim are his words. Since the judges did not follow their preaching there was a question in their yiras shomayim and credibility.abukspan, thanks for contribution, but we are going in circles.
The SA 618 does not mention anything about a posek. My Rebbi the Matersdorfer Rav ztz’ would never rule against a religiuous observant doctor. I understand the gravity of eating of Yom Kippur but it is an issur gavre and not an issur cheftza. Therefore, the Torah put the responsibility to decide on the sick as specified in SA O’CH 618,1. If the sick says he must eat, hundred doctors will not trump his needs.
To understand better, look at the Binah Leitim (Volume 2, Eis Tzara, Darush for Shabbos Divrei, 1). He explains what caused the Chorban. Shabbos (119,2) it gives the reason שלא הוכיחו זה את זה they did not admonish each other where it should have said שלא הוכיחו אותם they did not admonish them. They admonished the hamon am, the rest of the nation, but not themselves. Therefore, the hamon am said, if the talmidei hachomim cover for each other and don’t admonish each other, then we don ‘t have to listen to them either. A similar situation could have occurred over here. The judges did not admonish each other and therefore the people did not listen to them.
abukspan, look at the Alshich Hakadosh on Rus that this is related to the famine which happened as the bad judges contributed to it. צדק צדק תרדוף למען תחיה – כדאי הוא מינוי הדיינים הכשרים להחיות את ישראל ולהושיבם על אדמתם so we see that the proper behavior of judges provides sustainance and the zechus to stay on the land.
Sorry, as high respect I had for the rebbi, I would follow my own needs with a torah observant doctor’s advice as described in SA above. If no doctor around, I would decide as II am the best doctor for myself. Maybe under other circumstances, I would eat less, less than the shiur within 7-9 minutes time span.
Joseph, I don’t see the Posek mentiioned anywhere in halacha. When it comes to eating on Yom Kippur, the sick trumps everyone. We follow the majority of doctors provided he has no view.
Joseph, see SA O’CH 618,1 we don’t isten to the rav but either to him against a hundred doctors or the doctor against him whioever is the most lenient.
Joseph, the halacha is to listen to the individual over the rav. He might use the doctor’s advice to decide.
I don’t think there is a proof from the Medrash. They are lamenting, woe to the generation having judges that they have to judge and say that they are worse than them. It was not the people that were criticized because they don’t have to listen to admonishments from bad judges as mentioned above but the judges were criticized.
When we say woe for the generatiion we are also hiolding the judges responsible for having to be judged.
As I mentioned that we are lamenting on the judges and not the people. We want the judges be the model of behavior to be examplary and look up to them to learn from them but over here we musr judge them on their atrocious behaviour.
I understand your idealistic concepts and get off your ivory tower as it is against human nature because the person does not recognize his own faults, he will do everything to belittle the admonisher if he does not follow what he preaches. So it might be true what you are saying but it is not realistic and we are human beings who cannot be expected to follow it . The Torah was not given to angels and Nadav Vavihu would not be punished for it.
I have another logic why someone would not listen to something that is not practiced. The fact that he is not practicing it seems to indicate that it is not true otherwise why does he not practice it if he believes so strongly to tell him about it.
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קשוט עצמך ואחר כך קשוט אחרים make yourself righteous first before you make others.
לא המדרש העיקר אלא המעשה actions speak louder the words, which seems to indicate the opposite.
On Rosh Hashanah, Hashem looks at us with one stare seeing us all in unity. Balak said to Bilom that you should only see the partial nation but not the whole because seeing the whole you cannot effect them. Yom Truah also means a day of friendship and unity.
abukspan, what you are saying at end is completely incorrect. A person cannot see his own faults but he knows what he does right and only on that can he admonish the other. Otherwise, he will be told correct yourself first. it is also not right to bring up some other fault of the admonisher.
There are some universal proverbs, sweep before your own house or in hungarian drinks wine and preaches water.
Look at the Rabbenu Bachye on לא יהי-ה בהם נגף בפקד אותם why direct counting causes a plague. It separates unity so the faults can be seen. The Shunamis said I reside among my nation and don’t want to separate myself from the group, spotted and recognized to be blamed when something goes wrong,
Look at the Binah Leitim on Pirkei Avos about nothing better than silence.
Look at the Rashbam about admonishment and Yad Yosef on Ein Yaakov, Yoma 9 about Sinas Chinom. The Abarbanel says that when we admonish we should not put the sin on him. The Shlah Hakadash explains when admonishing don’t say he is a letz because he will hate you but say his a wise person and he will love you.
The Torah is advising us how to avoid lashan hara. There is a juxtaposition between seeing good and lashan hara. If you judge him for the good, you will not gossip about him.