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There’s a very simple anwer. The mantra and basic foundation in chassidus is to serve Hashem “with Simche.”
to ftresi:
It was the Bostoner Rebbetzin that said it.
I didn’t see this hysteria growing up and I thank my mother for that. I think it’s the men that over do it. they learn the chumraqs and bring home this craziness and pressure. There are many times I threaten my husband that I will call his maggid shiur and tell him how his shiurim on Pesach are making terrible shalom bayis problems!
This is NOT wht Hashem wants from us!I live out of town so I am a bit clueless. But from what I read in the newspapers about the recent chill hashem, and so many people in need, I really don’t understand the need for “crispy lamb belly” and “roasted tongue .” I think if they just took the catering money for their fund and not to the caterers, they would have done a good deal!
If you find a good one man band, there is absolutely no reason in the world to spend the money for a 5 man band. My machatanim ordered a five man band, she was so proud about it and wanted to impress me but believe me, I didn’t notice the difference.
Even if your wedding is over the top, it is talked about for about three days, but your bills sometimes last forever.
TheBearIsBack–Well, you will be very busy here because Antwerp is full of them! Trust me.
Health: For an update: Mr.Friedman’s mother entered a request to remove the youngest children from his custody. She reports that she is aware that the children suffer greatly under his care and that the court remove his parental rights.
So dear Health, no more need for me to defend myself, case closed!
We have to deal with REALITY. and not UTOPIA. and not how the world SHOULD be.
Moi aussi, Thank you! I thought something was wrong with ME! You do understand what I am trying to say. Yes, it is very sad that the children are suffering. But those people who have tried to help them in the past were punished by him. It is criminal what he is doing to nine neshamas. Hashem should have rachmunis on them and get them out of this situation as soon as possible. Maybe have a bus hit him.
He lives in Belgium, not America. It doesn’t operate the same way.
This thread is not about stealing. Every one has something to hide. and even if you don’t, you still don’t want officials doing an audit and digging into your business. It’s about a crazy man manipulating society around him in the most horrible way to get what he wants at all costs. I don’t know if the following is true or not but I heard why he ran away from the States. Some guys bundled him up and took him to the river and told him that if he is not out of the country within 48 hours, he will be “sleeping with the fish.” He then stole someones credit card, charged all his tickets on it and left.
Yes, it is very sad that the kids suffer and I am sure he sees it, but he seems not to care about that.
Health – May I humbly tell you what just happened here in Antwerp about two hours ago? Mr. Nutcase walked into a Jewish grocery store, filled up several shopping bags of food and started walking out the door without paying. The owners ran after him to stop him, and asked him to pay. Do you want to know what his response was??? “Are all your workers here working officially? Be careful! I will call the police to check your workers!” Now, to tell you the truth, I really don’t want to continue posting on this subject. You don’t seem to want to hear, really hear, what Antwerp is really worried about! What problems he can do for the community as a whole. I do not want it to come to “I told you so.” Please, if you can’t understand it by now, you never will.
Alex- In normal situations you would be right, neutralize the father, make sure that there are some guarantees that he won’t make trouble. You are a bit naive, If I may say. Can’t you understand from the other posts that this is a person that cannot be reasoned with. I once spoke to a relative of his that told me that the family was willing to help him out financially and morally in New York if he would just renounce his crazy ways. That lasted about two weeks, the family did something he didn’t like and he threatened them with a gun. The guy is unstable! Get real everyone! Don’t you see enough violence lately with crazies coming into schools and workplaces shooting at everyone because he feels he was slighted?! This guy is a bomb waiting to explode!
No one can predict how far he can go. Why take chances with our children!!
When I married off my kids, I always felt bad inviting “panim chadoshos” to the sheva brochos. Doesn’t he think, “why wasn’t I invited to the wedding? Am I just good for the sheva brochos?”
To apushatayid: “Can anyone articulate the arguments for and against…” After reading all these posts of what a difficult person he is, a nut case and a musser, can’t you understand that the school is just plain “scared and worried” to take in these children?
This is not the US, Antwerp in a small ghetto. The yidden here have no “protektzia” with any officials to protect us should Mr Iran decide to make trouble.
And since most of us do not know all the little details of what went on between him and the school officials, can’t you all give the benefit of the doubt that the school is taking this problem very seriously and if they decide not to take the kids in, there must be a good reason.
Health-Find me ONE school organization or business for that matter, that is 100% kosher without any infractions and I will support you.
In order to get subsidized here you have to follow a certain curriculum that is counter to Jewish belief. So for some subjects there is some playing around with, as is done all over the world.
Please understand, from your point of view, there seems such an easy solution, just accept them in the boys school. Believe me, if it were so simple, don’t you think this would be done? Do you think the schools he is involved with would spend thousands of dollars they don’t have on lawyers and publicity? He is a complete nutcase and was expelled from a few countries already, don’t you realize that this situation is more complicated then just accepting their kids?
My mother! Believe me, she is quite famous!
He is doing this only because since the Belz Boys school is NOT subsidized, he can do nothing to pressure them to accept his kids. He feels that eventually the boys school will cave in and will have to accept them since they don’t want them in the girls school.
It seems the boys are happy because until now they were home doing nothing all day.
Please do NOT even think for one moment that he is doing this for “A pure cause.” He does this everywhere he goes. and leaves destruction and heartache in his path.
The main reason the schools are scared to accept his children is that he is such a sick guy that they are afraid he will mussar them if he finds even the most petty reason to. He will have them tip toeing around him and that is no way to run a school. He did this in NY, where the principal there is still crying about him. He would mussar his own mother. He keeps his wife locked up all day just like the talibans in Iran. She wanted to divorce him many times, but he threatens to kill her if she does. This whole situation is not so simple. He has been thrown out of Vienna and New York and, since his wife is from Antwerp, he ended up here.
It is such a chillul Hashem here because the media is eating this up. They had to rule that Belz had to take them because first, they are state subsidized, plus then some government schools might use that tactic to refuse muslim children.
Of course, it is the children that suffer. They are being brought up very dysfunctional. Then they will get married and continue this crazy cycle because they know nothing else.
I agree. I sometimes see women wearing boots when the sun is shining and it’s in the high 70’s. I find it very “prust.” it is most certainly a fashion statement and very unappropriate.
I agree with The Little I know. Parents are digging and digging more into a prospective shidduch, asking ridiculous questions, saying NO for ridiculous reasons. You would think there would be LESS divorces, not more, with all the digging they do.
Do you have any close family or friend that can help you, first with just listening to you? and then maybe can advise you? Someone that will be there for you in the long haul? This will be a very exhausting and emotional time for you and you cannot do it alone.
The best thing you can do is call the kehille in Antwerp. +3232335567. They might be able to help. About the duplex apartment which someone noted, call before you come because I heard they were having some problems. I think that is what ananas 12 is referring to. There are people that rent out apartments, you should ask someone to get you the phone numbers. You can also call some Jewish taxi drivers, they can take you around all over and plan your trips for you. They will tell you exactly what is the most interesting places to go. The dollar is getting stronger now, you will be getting more for your money. If you want the taxi numbers, post it and I will post a list.
After reading all the posts, I realize that firstly, you can’t expect today’s generation to feel the same way their grandparents felt about buying German. Besides, in Europe, from one item you can have dozens of parts coming from different countries, so you really can’t know the actual origin. Opel is a German car with a general motors engine! Anyway, I will quote a neighbor’s response when asked how she can let a polish cleaning lady in her house, LET HER CLEAN MY TOILETS!!
I am an American living in europe over thirty years. When I first moved here I was SHOCKED, SHOCKED, SHOCKED to see that the yiddische oilem bought german made items without blinking an eye. I remember when I was growing up in Boro Park, no one thought of buying anything German. The response I got from everyone is that they make the best quality stuff. Who didn’t have a Miele washing machine? So the people who were the closest in proximity to the enemy, who had the most vivid memories of what the Yimach Shemom germans did, were helping their economy!!! Without a second thought. What do you say to that?
Exactly! that’s why they had to transport it from another source.
Vishnitzers don’t eat fish on Pesach because many many years ago, in order to keep the fish as fresh as possible, they would soak a piece of bread with some type of liquid when transporting it. I might not be correct on the exact details, but it’s something to that effect. To show you the importance of “minhagim”, the Viznitzer Rebbe that just was niftar once said that he would eat fish on Pesach, but that he wants to continue this minhag out of respect for his ancestors.
From what I read here, although it takes two to tango, the mother in law has to be the smart one. My mantra is if you want your child to be happy, be good to their spouse. A very wise friend told me just before my son got married that most daughters in law think that their husband was born the day they got married, meaning he has no past relationships before they wed. She is only thinking of their present and future. This bit of understanding helped me navigate the unsteady beginnings of my son’s married life. Today’s generation, unfortunately, do not go according to the rules. I did the calling, and if I spoke to my son, I made sure to say hello to her as well. Well, I realized the effort paid off when she called me to tell me that when all her friends were complaining about their MIL, she told me she had nothing to say!!
Given that you are married only a few months, you must give it time. Having said that, from my experience of thirty years of hell with a witch of a mother in law, although it should be a two way street, the mother in law has to be the smarter one. She should give her love and attention when they meet, no demands, and with the time your wife should come around. Do Not ask your wife your to call her once a week. It won’t mean anything and she might resent you. When my daughter in law tells me she loves me and how good I am to her, all I answer is, “thank my mother in law for that!” I learnt the hard way.