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iYid
Welcome 🙂
My brain hurts JUST reading all this car lingo…
Hey MP, great opening line about manicures!!
How much to you need to drink in order to feel the “geshmak”? How high is your tolerance & do you find it increasing?
Make a list and prioritize the items according to importance. After that take that list and further divide the items into days of the week that you will accomplish the tasks. I find this helps me focus better knowing that each day I need to accomplish ONLY what is on the list for that day. It takes away the overwelming effect a long list can give.
Good Shabbos! Thanks for the warm welcome this week 🙂
Toi:
Interesting that you gave that example because 2 of my brother’s kallahs would not proceed further in the dating process until they made an active attempt to quit. Thank god 10 years later they still have not picked up a cigarette.
It’s just so scary because what happens when the ‘external motivation’ disappears?
Toi:
Of all the responses on this thread, I’d like to think mine was one of the more educated ones. Before you jump to conclusions that I have ‘no clue’ what I’m talking about and that ‘I’m explaining the entire situation’- why don’t you take a moment to read what I wrote in my first post. I wrote how the addiction starts and how dangerous it can potentially come. I did not state that anyone who smokes will drop dead tomorrow god forbid. I was merely quoting research and the DSM. Obviously I’ve struck a chord with you (based on your reaction and based on the new thread of helping smokers quit) & for that I apologize.
Toi: Why so hostile?
soliek: *whistles softly* that was SOME post. As ‘A Woman outside bklyn’ put it…I am biting back tears. Your emotion and unwavering faith oozes from your post. It seems that you have a true gift in understanding the pain of others, have you considered a career in counseling (be it a Ph.D or MSW)? I’m new here so I’m not sure if you’ve already disclosed on other posts what your profession is..
Again, I cannot put into words how inspiring your post was.
V’hu Keyli, By: Baruch Levine
gavra_at_work: So true! Whenever I try to return something to a Jewish store the sales rep gives me the hardest time about it and in the end (If I’m lucky) I get store credit.
Last week I returned a purchase to Home Depot (quite a large sum too) and I was not questioned. They simply asked if the items were damaged and promptly returned my money.
I suppose this is all because Jewish stores are usually not chain stores and cannot afford to take the loss of cash back…
The Goq: Thank You! So Helpful.
PrincessEagle:
“what’s makes you choose this for your username anyway?!”
1) My favorite broadway show is Wicked, & there is a song in it titled ‘No One Mourns The Wicked”. 2)There is a brilliant line in the song (IMHO) “Are people born wicked or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?” (HEY MODS: Subtitle, eh? eh?)
Depends on the day :-/ (Thanks for asking!)
OZ
Toi:
“No One Mourns The Wicked Member- Your post seems a bit over the top. If not for the post title, I would think you’re discussing cocaine. Chill. Your “most dangerous stage” line is laughable.”
The Addiction IS the most dangerous stage. According to the DSM IV, the definition of an addiction is “physical and/or psychological dependence on psychoactive substances (for example alcohol, tobacco, heroin, caffeine and other drugs) which cross the blood-brain barrier once ingested, temporarily altering the chemical milieu of the brain. There is continued use despite consequences.
Why are you going to extremities such as Iran to think of such dangerous circumstances?
Logician: Spot On!
cheftza: Agreed! I have to mentally keep track of all the threads I’ve responded to and check in to see if there has been a reply..
I’m new so I suppose the ‘addiction’ will end soon…
JaneDoe18: Therapy would have been brilliant for her! 100% agreed. Unfortunately there is some stigma against that in some sects of the Jewish community.
“TV and the Internet are world-wide public forums, & one does not know who is reading or watching. The ramifications would be devastating.”
Absolutely. I do not condone what she did. I am merely suggesting that the verbal bashing be done with. 1) It cannot possibly serve to help her. That is what she needs. Help. A loving & supportive environment to help her heal when she is ready. Right now she is angry and probably would not react well to Facebook messages and invitations to spend Shabbos 2) all we need is for some non-Jew to read this thread & take words out of context.
Deborah has been through significant trauma and chose to leave Judaism. It’s unfortunate that she does not realize that there are good & simple Jews out there who follow the letter and spirit of the law without going to extremes.
I just cannot understand why there is so much verbal bashing going on in this thread. Who are we to judge her? God hands each of us our own party bag of tests, & we do not know (& certainly cannot judge!) how or why anyone reacts to their handout.
I want to reiterate that it is important to remember that this is a public forum, & one does not know who is reading. The ramifications would be devastating.
Be. Careful.
“He believes that Moshiach can come from the dead and that the Rebbe will return.”
Come from the dead?! He never died!!!
*Smirking*
I think peer pressue does play a large role. If everyone is copying someone (& presumably it’s the “cool kids”)the question remains- what causes the desire for any of them to start.
My guess would be the need to escape. Nicotine acts in the brain to stimulate feelings of pleasure. It also will work as an appetite suppressant and can relieve stress. Experimental smoking usually begins the habit. Next comes occasional cigarette smoking at parties, on weekends, with friends or when trying to lose weight. This is the most dangerous stage, because it usually leads to an addictive phase, when teens become regular smokers
Middlepath: Thanks!
My graduate study is social work…I’ve been told to stay away from pricey private colleges because the field is not lucrative, but as yentingyenta said…I wouldn’t want high risk patients at the mercy of ill educated therapists.
After making all these assumption I would hazard a guess to say that the college attended is not as important as the quality of the student who attended…
Blabla: Please don’t give up! Pain can be unbearable..I know. Every morning you need to give yourself one reason why you NEED to get out’ve bed. Take that reason and milk it for all it’s worth. Many a morning I couldn’t even find that one reason. It takes unbelievable strength to get up on those days, but refuse to let the pain control you :-/ Hang in there..
Unrelated, but I wanted to share something….Everyone remembers the terrible tragedy of Moshe Berkowitz a’h untimely passing. I wrote this little blurb about him shortly after…
The hour was late, the sun had set
You ran into the yeshiva to daven maariv, heaven knew it would be the last one.
The earth stood in awe at your fervent prayer.
At the 23rd hour, tragedy struck
A pure, sterling, loved and revered neshama was taken from its earthly cradle
Screaming, crying, pain, the shot heard round the world
From silence to sorrow hundreds gathered to grieve
From all backgrounds & social classes they flocked
One thought in mind-You.
Why, How, Where, What, When
The questions, the rumors, the stories
No one could fathom why you had to go
We cannot understand so many things
The heavenly angels looked down and saw a treasure
They asked god to claim it for himself
When we come into this world, we cry and the world rejoices
Let us live our lives so that when we leave, the world cries and we rejoice
Moshe, we are all crying for you.
Thanks Goq! I’m working on earning my subtitle 😀
I saw the music video…I know the title is ‘Cry No More’, but all I did was cry when I watched it.
I would love to hear the consensus on this one! Currently, I am waiting to hear back from 3 graduate schools (One is a state college and tuition is very cheap) The other 2 are private colleges and therefore tuition is north of 50 grand for a two year program (& that doesn’t include my student loans I took out for my undergraduate degree)