Forum Replies Created
Workaholic: It’s been 2 years since you originally posted, are you ok?
Hey SiDi! Yeah I took a needed breather, but I have been following threads w/o commenting for the most part 🙂 Thanks for asking- you made me feel really good.
I am a LMSW and went to Fordham University- I would be happy to answer any specific questions about their program. Good Luck!
I just rcvd this incredible email from a friend regarding “The Shmirah Project”- individuals from all around the world can sign up and be assigned the name of an active duty combat soldier to spiritually protect. The soldier is then notified of the name and hometown of the individual that is “protecting” him. Again, this is not me going to the front lines, but at least I feel like I’m doing something here in America for Israel.
(& yes, I know this project has been around for awhile, but I’m just discovering it now)
Update: They called me back- I can use my S.S number….I don’t know why one person gave me contradicting info. The caveat is that I need to have them call my house and have someone pick up and verify my cell phone number bec that’s the number in their system.
Thank you everyone for your advice/comments.
I called, the test must be taken over…
As far as my aforementioned concerns- I’m simply looking for people who have had past experiences to let me know what the process was like……obviously I’m not looking for final answers here.
I wish….I heard (from friends and family) that they will not release the information other than with the ID number due to extreme confidentiality concerns…
Someone tell me I’m wrong..
“As for my friends,where are they hiding? How about BMG? One friend is 24, hasn’t gone out in months, not being redd, another friend was in BMG 3 years till he got engaged at 27. Bottom Line- PLENTY OF BOYS”
With all due respect to you and your friends (I am not judging, but rather making a shrewd observation) perhaps it is time to get out of the BMG and get yourself into college so that the 26 year old female doctoral student that you guys will need to support you will actually WANT to go out with you…
As someone else mentioned above, girls as they get older get more accomplished, many want college educated boys like themselves…
“Let me tell you something. Therapy is like a Shidduch – you need a good Shadchan.”
Exactly, The fact that we are even having this conversation is absolutely ludicrous! Seek the therapist that will be able to help you in the most constructive manner,gender should not make a difference.
“But all my Shabbos stuff are reeeaally nice (and expensive)…is that too much?”
There is something so inherently annoying about that sentence.
“because kate spade is not even jewish!”
Most designers aren’t, even the ones that design ultra religious styles..
Hope you made the right choice of outfit!
“Most sane adults will not say anything anti-Semitic unless they are angry, had something to drink or if you act in an obnoxious way.”
Well said, maybe we Jews should start treating the non Jews with some respect and we’ll see the same from them.
We therapists would suddenly become very rich with rates of anxiety soaring lol
Baruch Dayin Haemet Yankees…
Looks like the ego factory has some flaws in their lineup…
“There was never before a misconception that men and women are “equal”. That is a new idea that secular society has been trying to drill into everyone for almost 100 years now.”
Avhaben, So what you’re saying is that women should be considered inferior to men, & the only reason that the concept doesn’t exist entirely is bec the non jewish culture has decided so? Other than that you have no reason to believe that the concept might have some insight?
Please elaborate, thank you.
“I went to a Mekubal. He said I have Yiras Shamayim and shouldn’t worry about shidduchim.”
Without meaning to offend the mekubal or yourself…doesn’t that kind’ve seem like a cop out way of talking to you? I could meet someone randomly and say the same thing…?
“And when he said ” are you gonna take all four minutes?” what?!?! Are you an adult?”
Exactly, & even more so when he childishly asked Martha if he was going to get the same amount of time as Ryan…
& yes, she clearly was pro Biden…epic fail.
I hear that book is good, but I’m so cynical towards these types of readings that I try to stay away from it rather than going ahead, reading it, and then becoming even more agitated…
Is it that type of read?
Thank you all for your input. I will hold off and do some more introspection/cheshbon hanefesh.
2morecents: “the extra weight on a potential spouse should be a serious red flag regarding the persons middos.”
Praytell what middah? Please elaborate further.
Shein: “Girls don’t have much choice but to accept overweight bochorim, as their are more girls than bochorim in the shidduch market and thus the girls must take what is available or risk being stuck unmarried indefinitely.”
By that logic, a girl should accept a male mannequin in a dress shop since that’s “available” & we really don’t have many choices do we…?
The double standard here is making me sick.
I’m definitely making time for me don’t worry 🙂
Chag Sameach to all my cyberfriends in here!!
“Not only will her reputation be ruined but the entire extended family!!”
Can you elaborate further? Why would the “entire” family be ruined EVEN IF something would to (god forbid) go wrong?
Curiousity: “Soo.. What’s the best way for a normal, decent Jewish “out of town” bochur to find a good shidduch? There are almost no frum girls here, and it seems the majority of “in town” girls who search far “out of town” are doing so because they are desperate due to one reason or another. What should we “OOT”ers do?”
Desperate? No..it’s just a mentality some of us NY girls have- we don’t want “cookie cutter NY” that many boys are here so we want you OOT’ers….come to NY, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
iced: “One (of many) examples is that for a boy to be considered good (for shidduchim, etc.) he is expected to rise early for minyan, spend a long day in Yeshiva, learn Torah well and be kind. A girl doesn’t share the same daily, excruciating and demanding, schedule.”
Really now…what do you call having to have a job, get a college degree, maintain a good figure/face all while raising children, cooking, cleaning and being a loving wife…?
No one has it easier. Game over.
*Erupting from a stack of textbooks and clearing throat*
Hi!! How is everyone doing? Just because I’ve been awfully out’ve touch doesn’t mean I have forgotten about all of you.
MiddlePath? Luna? SaysMe? Syag? Anyone out there?
Just wanted to wish you all an easy fast, a spiritually uplifting yom kippur and it is my wish to you this year that you all find the truth you are seeking out. Hashem should give us clarity, peace of mind and success in our personal and professional lives.
*Slinking back to the books*
oomis1105: Right on!
Question: What do guys think of tall girls wearing heels? & by tall I mean 5’7 and by heels I mean 3-4 inches.
HERSHEY’S MILK CHOCOLATE!!
“Also, it seems to me like current fashion for girls is to fall head over heels for the frail, boyish, Bieber look than the masculine manly look. Please help settle these recurring points of confusion!”
Ohhh, I know what you mean. It’s those guys that wear the plastered pants that leave nothing to the imagination…?
Ew, give me tall and broad any day!
“I finished my new song! Just put it on Soundcloud. It’s called “Inner Peace”, and it’s an instrumental. Hope you all enjoy.”
Love it! Is that electric guitar with some bass I hear? Has this song brought you any peace/closure? How you feeling about that?
Keeping you all in my thoughts, enjoy the last few lazy days of summer 🙂
(Cannot believe school is starting up again lol)August 14, 2012 1:46 am at 1:46 am in reply to: Why was the National Anthem or G-D Bless Ameirica not sung by Siyum Hashas? #893751
“I’m a little confused, but where in Hatikva does it mention -thanks to the IDF?”
The predominant theme in the stanzas is the establishment of a sovereign and free nation in the Land of Israel. This is a freedom that the IDF works every day to protect.
Yes, you are totally misconstruing my words. I was referring to the explanation that OneOfMany is referring to.
Getting an opinion of a friend/rav on a particular issue is definitely advised! having a friend scooth out the girl after 1 date and then presuming to call her a liar when she rejects….that’s a bit much.
Morah Rach- +1
First of all, why does your friend need your opinion on the girl? If he’s mature enough to get married- he should be mature enough to make his own decisions, & certainly not have his friends scootch her out…
Also, before calling her a liar, perhaps she made plans in the hours between the date and your wife calling her? Perhaps she’s tired and doesn’t want to eat out, perhaps she’s uncomfortable?
Before you potentially ruin a shidduch, think a bit.
Melbourne, AustraliaAugust 12, 2012 2:56 am at 2:56 am in reply to: Why was the National Anthem or G-D Bless Ameirica not sung by Siyum Hashas? #893722
“You didn’t answer my question – why is “Hatikva” appropriate for Jewish events?!?!
I don’t care how much you love the Israeli gov., but what does the Medina’s national anthem have to do with Judaism outside of Israel?!?!?”
Hatikvah is appropriate for Jewish events bec as Jews we should recognize and be appreciative of the chayalim that are out there day and night risking their lives defending the country of Jews.
The American NA should have been sung to recognize and be appreciative to America which is FILLED with Jews who are allowed to practice their religion freely and do not have to live in fear of persecution.
“NOMTHW: Yes, fear in the same sense one is to fear their father or, lehavidl, Hashem. Rambam and many many meforshim say this. See the other thread where the sources are quoted to a great extent.”
I still disagree with you. A husband should not be feared. I don’t know where this concept came from. Spouses should be respected, admired, cherished and honored.
Fear? Please..August 8, 2012 10:56 pm at 10:56 pm in reply to: Why was the National Anthem or G-D Bless Ameirica not sung by Siyum Hashas? #893664
“Hatikva has apikorsus as part of the song.”
*snort* Do tell, which part?
I sincerely hope there are no non jews reading this thread. The blatent lack of appreciation, respect and pride for our country is overwelming. IMO, the national anthem as well as hatikvah should have been sang at the Siyum. We live in a country of peace & are allowed to practice our religion freely. Those who are allowed to learn torah in Israel whilst the IDF defends the land owe much to these brave men and women.
“yytz: And wives are supposed to fear their husbands and treat him as a King. (As Rambam and many others mention.”
I pray to god you wrote that in a casual manner. FEAR their husbands?! Do we live in Iran? Where does fear come in to a healthy, productive, & stable marriage? Honor? Yes. Love? Of course. Be inspired by? Absolutely. FEAR?!
It’s my favorite song from my favorite broadway show
Wow, SiDi, for a single guy to be able to recognize that is beautiful!
“SiDi, may you very soon have a wife to thank 🙂 whoever ur wife is gonna be, she’s sure a lucky one!”
It went great until my POST fast migraine kicked in..
How bout you?
Good timing on that post from your mom! I’ve just been placed as a student clinician at a rehab facility for geriatric adults. My first (ok first 20) thoughts was “ugh old folks”…
Thank you for this fresh perspective on respecting my elders (who I’m pretty sure are 3-4 times my age to be precise)
2nd time you called me a weirdo 😉 When do I start taking it as a compliment?
Ok then, so since we’ve established that everyone has some sort of problem to deal with….the stigma should be that much smaller, no?
You are fooling yourself if you think that there is a single individual in this world that has no emotional problems. IMO, the problem stems from the fact that the general opinion is that people who go to therapy have massive emotional issues that can only be addressed by mental health professionals. Since these professionals have extensive training in deals with “crazies”, problem solved- everyone in therapy is crazy, right?
WRONG! Many people put themselves into therapy because they are dealing with a temporary issue that they need a fresh/unbiased viewpoint on. Others are just there to talk (hey, you pay me- I’ll listen to you plan your shabbos menu!)
I guess what I’m trying to convey is that yes, many individuals who are in therapy have deep seeded emotional issues that are unpleasant to uncover, but some are just there for moral support/guidance and do not deserve to be stigmatized, but rather commended.
End of rant.
Daniela, I’m not sure where you are getting your facts from, but it sounds like you are suggesting to W.O.W to put the child in a boot camp or correctional facility!
The situation sounds bad, but not any worse than what I’ve come across in general. All of us brilliant minds of the coffee room can sit here for hours and tell you how to raise your son, but at the end of the day it’ll be YOU that will have to deal with the repercussions. My only advice is to get your family a good therapist and rav who will be able to give you time sensitive advice…
I wish you much clarity and luck.
So I asked a guy, he said it’s bec it evokes a “big image” as opposed to that sleek look….
How does that make sense?
Can someone please explain to me the stigma in the Orthodox Jewish community in regard to an individual receiving therapy? As a student clinician I’m having a hard (understatement) time processing this…
Your son is angry, sad, confused and probably doesn’t really know what he wants right now. As here to help said, you are his hope. Don’t throw him away, who will he have? Where will he go? As angry as you and your husband feel right now, remember that every parent loves their child unconditionally. You never want to look back at this time and regret your actions.
I’ve noticed that there is a lot of therapy bashing in the YWCCR. I am a student clinician with a strong background in psychology and it makes me sick to read some of the muckraking.
Love your son despite your ripped heart. Try to forge a connection. It doesn’t have to be a spritual one, just any connection will do. Don’t lose your son.
“You agree they’re attractive. What’s the question?”
As a woman, I do!
The guys…not so much (So I’ve been told)
The question is: WHY?
How is everyone’s fast going? Right now my headache is building….the last 6 hours are not gonna be fun..
“It’s probably cus I’m from “oot”, and wouldn’t ever agree to live the big city life. My gut tells me living somewhere that actually has girls to date is very conducive to dating… May you and your family be mevorach. “
OOT? Even better! Come to NY, they’ll be plenty of girls who’d want to date you.