Joseph

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  • in reply to: Lakewood’s Traffic becoming unbearable, any solutions? #1364192

    Joseph
    Participant

    Baruch Hashem!! This means there, k’h, are many more Yidden in Lakewood! This is gevaldik!

    in reply to: Are out of town communities less judgemental or is that just a mindset #1364191

    Joseph
    Participant

    “it can’t be. a judgement has to be an opinion of sorts. facts don’t qualify.”

    Exactly. Thus, if someone is factually mechallel Shabbos or is mechallel tznius or whatever else, saying so isn’t being judgemental.

    in reply to: Are out of town communities less judgemental or is that just a mindset #1364123

    Joseph
    Participant

    No. It is a bubbe maaisa. There are a prortion of OOTers that have an inferiority complex when it comes to in-town. While it is true that living in a major frum Jewish majority area has many many maailos (especially in ruchniyos), this subset of folks instead of acknowledging this reality try their best to knock in-town/NY down a few pegs to their level, and do so by coming up with all these quacky things like NYers are judgemental and a bunch of other bubbe maaisas.

    in reply to: Long Term Storage Suggestions? #1363545

    Joseph
    Participant

    Craigslist is dangerous. You’re more likely to find a criminal than a long-term storage facility.

    in reply to: Makom Kavua – Being Kicked out of your Seat #1363542

    Joseph
    Participant

    if I am late and a guest has taken my place I ask them to move over a place or two

    If you are late you shouldn’t ask him to move in middle of davening. It isn’t his fault you’re late and he shouldn’t have to interrupt his davening due to your lateness. Especially when it’ll now be hard, if at all possible, for him to find another seat.

    in reply to: Indecisive Dating & it’s Aftermath #1363541

    Joseph
    Participant

    I have personally heard people tell me how grateful they are to be pushed into marriage & others say they regret it many years later.

    In many communities the father finds the shidduch. Obviously a ton of research is done beforehand. The couple then have one meeting with each other and say yes or no. And, believe it or not it works. These communities have better marriage retention rates than communities that have the couple meet more often. In fact, you will find that the more a couple meets before marriage (on a community comparative basis), the higher the divorce rate. (You’ll also find that the younger couples marry in a community, the better their marriage retention rates are.)

    Getting back to the implicit question in your OP, how would you propose that the young singles are prepared to make a decision as to whether to go ahead and agree to get married to a particular marriage candidate?

    Returning to the preceding point, it seems evident to many communities that when the parent has a great amount of input into the decision, overall the marriage retention rates are better.

    in reply to: The Yeshiva World Coffee Room In The Year 2240 #1363502

    Joseph
    Participant

    The year 2240 in the Gregorian calendar is the year 6000. Year 6000 starts on the night of September 30, 2239.

    Who said the world as we know it will exist then?

    Rashi says ששת אלפים שני

    in reply to: Makom Kavua – Being Kicked out of your Seat #1363497

    Joseph
    Participant

    Sitting in someones seat and putting them in the uncomfortable position of asking you to move is also about making another jew feel uncomfortable.

    A guest comes to shul, knows no one, where should he sit if no one seats him? The gabbai usually doesn’t wear a name tag or employee badge identifying him.

    in reply to: Holding someone else’s baby #1363356

    Joseph
    Participant

    Lilmod, at what point do you stop the baby from pulling your beard?

    in reply to: The Casualties of Yiddish in Litvishe Chadorim #1363114

    Joseph
    Participant

    “Does the practice of speaking Yiddush have value as an anti-assimilation tool?”

    Absolutely.

    in reply to: Who’s seat in Shul – seating gabbai #1363029

    Joseph
    Participant

    Therefore they do not as a rule sell tickets to anyone who lives within 50 miles.

    Why 50 miles? If it is Orthodox, walking distance is much less than 50 miles. If someone lives 15 miles away and is coming to the shul, he surely is not walking in. If he is Orthodox, he must be a visitor.

    Visiting out of state relatives may receive tickets when they provide a letter fro their home shul that they are members in good standing with dues paid up to date.

    What does requiring such a letter accomplish?

    College students are welcomed at no charge, just asked to call in advance and be placed on the seating chart.

    What about Yeshiva students?

    P.S. These policies seem to be generated from a very MO shul.

    in reply to: Makom Kavua – Being Kicked out of your Seat #1362645

    Joseph
    Participant

    This was my original comment:

    If a person is late to shul and someone took his (paid/kove’a makom) seat, he can’t make that person leave. If davening is underway and a guest needing a seat took an unoccupied seat, he isn’t responsible to know or have to move for a latecomer that normally sits there. Otherwise no guest could ever sit down without having to worry he’ll be kicked out of the seat (at which point there may be no more available seats.)

    in reply to: Who’s seat in Shul – seating gabbai #1362601

    Joseph
    Participant

    If a person is late to shul and someone took his (paid/kove’a makom) seat, he can’t make that person leave. If davening is underway and a guest needing a seat took an unoccupied seat, he isn’t responsible to know or have to move for a latecomer that normally sits there. Otherwise no guest could ever sit down without having to worry he’ll be kicked out of the seat (at which point there may be no more available seats.)

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361929

    Joseph
    Participant

    Goq, it is very sinful for the non-Jew too. (Remember Cozbi?)

    ubiq, yytz is suggesting it is okay for him to remain with her.

    yytz, But we don’t demand they leave, even if they ask us what they should do — that’s up to the individual.

    Absolutely incorrect. When asked we most certainly do tell him to leave. If a new BT asked if he should quit his Shabbos job will you suggest not advising him to stop working on Shabbos since “that’s up to the individual”? Completely absurd. Especially if he asks!

    Chareidi butei dinim absolutely do not convert intermarried spouses.

    Avi, most of the Soviet “conversions” are a farce. A Beis Din in Eretz Yisroel officially ruled as such a number of years ago.

    in reply to: The Casualties of Yiddish in Litvishe Chadorim #1361924

    Joseph
    Participant

    There are 450k Jews in France (including those speaking languages other than French) and 50k in Quebec (including Yiddish speaking ones.) There are more Yiddish speaking Jews.

    in reply to: How much unproductive time do you spend online each day? #1361921

    Joseph
    Participant

    BD, clearly you lack the nuance and sense of humor that CTL possesses. FYI, there was no demeaning here and CTL hadn’t taken it as such.

    in reply to: How much unproductive time do you spend online each day? #1361897

    Joseph
    Participant

    After decades on the government payroll using so little time off and personal days, I have so many to utilize for kiruv……………………

    in reply to: The Casualties of Yiddish in Litvishe Chadorim #1361895

    Joseph
    Participant

    Far far more Yidden speak Yiddish than speak French. And Ivrit is not used as a default language anywhere outside of Israel. The Israelis mostly know English and use that when speaking to non-Ivrit speakers.

    in reply to: How much unproductive time do you spend online each day? #1361588

    Joseph
    Participant

    CTL, I understand that your shrink wisely advised you to go online and play the suburban lawyer living a comfortable lifestyle that you always dreamed you’d be even though life’s fate had other plans for you, making you a working class city slicker chump living in gritty Brooklyn, working as a store manager in a heimishe clothing outlet.

    Gotta say you’re doing a great job. You have almost everyone convinced!

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361476

    Joseph
    Participant

    yytz, your boich svaras about suggesting a Jewish man remain married to a non-Jewish woman has no support from even a single rabbi in the world. You couldn’t name any, other than those who are Reform/Conservative/OO, since none exist that would postulate such a halachicly preposterously sinful idea.

    What you’re saying in your more recent comment is different than what you earlier advocated. If he isn’t willing to, yet, break up with his goyta perhaps nothing can be done. But that is a different idea than to condone or support or advocate that he not immediately break up with her. Ideally he absolutely should immediately cut her off. (And, by the way, any children he had with her are considered to not be his children.)

    Same with a non-religious woman. Ideally he must stop living with her immediately. If he refuses perhaps there’s nothing to be done, but no one can advocate he remain in a relationship with her if she’s not observing taharas hamishpacha.

    Regarding conversion, Chareidi butei dinim absolutely do not convert intermarried spouses.

    As an aside, Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky has an interesting teshuva about whether it is worse to be married to a non-religious woman or to a goyta:

    רב יעקב קמנצסקי (אמת ליעקב פרשת ויחי ע’ רל”ז): דוגמא מעשית לקנאות שלא לפי הדין ניתן להביא מהשאלה הבאה: אדם שיש לו ברירה בין לישא בת ישראל שלא תשמור על טהרת המשפחה ובין לישא גויה, מה עדיף? התלמיד שלא שימש כל צרכו בודאי יאמר: הלא איסורי נדה הם בכרת, ואילו בעילת עכו”ם אינו אלא לאו בעלמא שאינו ענוש כרת, בודאי אם כן עליו לבחור בגויה. האמת היא לא כן. הרמב”ם, אף שדעתו היא שביאת שפחה אינה אלא מדרבנן, פוסק [הלכות מאיסורי ביאה יב:ז-ח] בזה”ל: עון זה אע”פ שאין בו מיתת בית דין אל יהי קל בעיניך אלא יש בו הפסד שאין בכל העריות כמותו שהבן מן הערוה בנו הוא לכל דבר ובכלל ישראל יחשב ואע”פ שהוא ממזר והבן מן הגויה אינו בנו שנאמר כי יסיר את בנן מאחרי מסיר אותו מלהיות אחרי ה’ ודבר זה גורם להדבק בגוים שהבדילנו הקב”ה מהם ולשוב מאחר ה’ ולמעול בו עכ”ל. ברור לפ”ז שעליו לבחור בבת ישראל אע”פ שהיא אינה שומרת טהרת המשפחה.

    in reply to: Is it real? #1361464

    Joseph
    Participant

    Donald Trump had the last laugh. Who, in 2011, ever thought he’d be president today?


    Joseph
    Participant

    The goyishe divorce rate is in the ballpark of 40%. The Chareidi rate is about 2%. When we say it is rising, we mean something like it went from 1.8% to 2.2%. That’s a huge percentage wise increase, but it is nowhere comparable to the goyim and frei.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361388

    Joseph
    Participant

    All I’m saying is that a new BT should not immediately leave his non-Jewish wife, since it makes sense to give her time to see if she will decide she wants to commit to accepting the yoke of the mitzvos.

    You are absolutely halachicly incorrect. How can you make such a suggestion that is completely halachicly sinful and wrong on all accounts? A new BT, or any Jew for that matter, is absolutely required to immediately leave his non-Jewish “wife”. Every single day he is with her is another humongous sin. This is a halachicly indisputable fact. And for you to openly suggest he not leave her right away, is you suggesting he continue sinning from the worst sins in Torah Judaism.

    This is even before getting to the problems with why she cannot convert. Even if you assume she could convert in the future, no one disputes as long as she’s not Jewish that he’s absolutely forbidden to be with her for even one more day.

    The same goes for new BTs married to secular Jews — don’t ditch her right away just because she’s reluctant to all of the sudden move to Boro Park, put on a sheitel and start going to the mikvah every month.

    That’s a far different case than the preceding one. Being married to a non-religious Jew is a completely different case than with a non-Jew. With a non-religious you should insist that she at least keep the bare minimum taharas hamishpacha.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361311

    Joseph
    Participant

    Mishne Torah (Issurei Biah 12:4)

    כָּל הַבּוֹעֵל כּוּתִית בֵּין דֶּרֶךְ חַתְנוּת בֵּין דֶּרֶךְ זְנוּת אִם בְּעָלָהּ בְּפַרְהֶסְיָא וְהוּא שֶׁיִּבְעל לְעֵינֵי עֲשָׂרָה מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל אוֹ יֶתֶר אִם פָּגְעוּ בּוֹ קַנָּאִין וַהֲרָגוּהוּ הֲרֵי אֵלּוּ מְשֻׁבָּחִין וּזְרִיזִין וְדָבָר זֶה הֲלָכָה לְמשֶׁה מִסִּינַי הוּא. רְאָיָה לְדָבָר זֶה מַעֲשֶׂה פִּינְחָס בְּזִמְרִי

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361247

    Joseph
    Participant

    JJ2020: I’m sure you heard “כל מי שנעשה רחמן במקום אכזרי, סוף שנעשה אכזרי במקום רחמן.” and “כל מי שנעשה רחמן במקום אכזרי, סוף שמדת הדין פוגעת בו” — “He Who is Compassionate to the Cruel Will Ultimately Become Cruel to the Compassionate”. This applies not only to Bein Adom L’Chaivero but to Bein Adom L’Mokom just as well. When we are required to mete out punishment for a Bein Adom L’Makom sin, it is cruel not to. The only reason Beis Din today doesn’t carry out corporal punishments is because the local non-Jewish governments prevent us. As I said, not too long ago the governments in both Europe and in the Arab lands delegated to the Jewish community the authority to enforce Jewish law. And the butei dinim did exactly that. Quite properly.

    It is unfortunate we cannot do so today. If America would not prevent or penalize us for doing so today, we would do so today just as we did so in the past.

    It is not “Shalom” or “Darchei Noam” to ignore wanton violations of Halacha or refrain from speaking out against them or declaring the severity of it and the normative punishments for them.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361231

    Joseph
    Participant

    ZD: And if a Jew and gentile publicly declare themselves through a marriage license or publicly live together in the same household as known partners, they too are engaging in the same transgression publicly. And the halacha of a knai becomes applicable.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361205

    Joseph
    Participant

    And getting back on track to the original topic of this thread, let us recall that engaging in a relationship with a gentile is so severe a violation, that it is one of the few instances where every Jew today (who isn’t a violator in this area himself) is halachicly authorized (as we learn from Pinchas) to extrajudicially slay a Jew and the gentile partner while they’re engaged in this transgression.

    in reply to: Peanut Butter Combos #1361172

    Joseph
    Participant

    Peanut Butter with Jalapino Dip.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1361162

    Joseph
    Participant

    JJ2020: Correct, Hashem gives everyone bechira to choose to do mitzvos or, r”l, aveiros. But Hashem also demands justice be meted out in this world by Beis Din, including for aveiros of Bein Adom L’Mokom — some of which carry severe penalties such as capital punishment — in addition to schar v’onesh in Beis Din Shel Maala. Beis Din is authorized and is supposed to carry out punishments such as malkos and other corporal punishments for various aveiros even today. The only reason we don’t is because the goyish governments stop us. When that wasn’t the case, as recently as until the emancipation in Europe 150 years ago, our butei dinim indeed meted out such punishments.

    In those times we didn’t need kiruv professionals since Beis Din would give a nice beating to any Jew who violated the laws of the Torah until he started complying with Jewish Law. (When you hear people refer to “the good ‘ole days”, that’s what they’re thinking about.)

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1360731

    Joseph
    Participant

    Yanky is absolutely correct. Even very recently families would cut off all contact with anyone who r”l intermarried. Furthermore, if someone wants to convert in order to marry a Jew, we are supposed to reject the conversion even when it is attempted before the “marriage”. All the more so when a gentile already “married” a Jew we are to reject such conversion requests. All this is longstanding Halacha. It was only not that many decades ago when intermarriage started r”l becoming so common that some liberal “beit dins” started to try to weaken these Halachic principles.

    in reply to: Babysitter Sharing #1360608

    Joseph
    Participant

    You follow the ways of Shlomo. Someone offers to cut the babysitter in half and each mother gets half of her. Whoever accepts first doesn’t get any babysitter.

    in reply to: The Casualties of Yiddish in Litvishe Chadorim #1360489

    Joseph
    Participant

    Teaching in Ivrit in the United States (and probably the rest of Chutz La’aretz) in Chareidi Yeshivos and Beis Yaakovs is virtually non-existent.

    in reply to: summer program in israel during south african summer #1360269

    Joseph
    Participant

    Hey, I’d love to have a summer vacation of January through December. Do you think if I move to South Africa I could get those months off?

    in reply to: The Casualties of Yiddish in Litvishe Chadorim #1360239

    Joseph
    Participant

    BJBP is heavily Chasidic these days, so it is highly unlikely they dropped Yiddish. But they have long ago dropped Ivrit.

    Edit: Confirmed — every grade has Yiddish classes.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1360190

    Joseph
    Participant

    JJ2020: The threat of being put to death for violating Shabbos (and other penalties Jewish courts mete out) isn’t a matter of Hashem enforcing and forcing compliance of His laws?

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1360111

    Joseph
    Participant

    Conversions of gentiles married to a Jew are far more typically insincere by the gentile spouse, who is doing it out of deference to the desires of their Jewish spouse rather than any true kabolos mitzvos or desire to live a true halachic life. This fact has been borne out repeatedly by past such purported conversions.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1360082

    Joseph
    Participant

    Another thing to consider is that many who are mekareved do not stay with Yiddishkeit long, and slide back until their own secular ways (or even convert so some other religion, c”v’s.) Is it a good idea to whisk a starry-eyed BT away from his family, plunging the family into despair, when he may well be no more religious than before within a few months, having destroyed his children’s lives for nothing?

    It absolutely is a good idea to whisk a Yid away from a gentile he’s/she’s in a relationship with. This is absolutely true even if he soon after stops being frum and r”l reverts back to irreligious secularism. Because even if he goes back to violating the other 612, at least at that point he isn’t sinning repeatedly every day by being in a relationship with a gentile. That alone is a major accomplishment. Being in an intermarried relationship is one of the worst cardinal sins in Judaism. And it is being violated every day the relationship exists.

    A major kiruv accomplishment would be to get an intermarried Jew to end the relationship even if he never once does a single other mitzvah.

    in reply to: Being Mekarev an Intermarried Jew #1360063

    Joseph
    Participant

    You don’t have to tell Reform and Conservative “converts” that they’re gentiles, even though they are, since there’s no reason any Orthodox Jew would have to recruit them to become Jewish — since Judaism doesn’t proselytize.

    in reply to: The Casualties of Yiddish in Litvishe Chadorim #1359993

    Joseph
    Participant

    Ami is likely underestimating the number of American Yiddish speakers by a large amount.

    in reply to: What's Wrong with WhatsApp? #1359991

    Joseph
    Participant

    Random, what events are you referring to?

    in reply to: Carrots and Sticks #1359924

    Joseph
    Participant

    Chaver, which available category would have been more appropriate?

    in reply to: Sheker – Lying in Halacha #1359906

    Joseph
    Participant

    RY23, it’s almost three years since DY answered APY’s comment from three years before that. Do you think it’s high time for APY to have the courtesy of now responding to DY?


    Joseph
    Participant

    Secular Israeli culture is, indeed, westernized. Frum Eretz Yisroel culture is not. So I’m not sure your point is applicable to frum Sephardim in Eretz Yisroel.


    Joseph
    Participant

    Eretz Yisroel isn’t a Western society.


    Joseph
    Participant

    Would you advocate abandoning traditional dress due to potential racial mocking by idiots?

    in reply to: Girl Asking Guy to Marry Her #1359656

    Joseph
    Participant

    Wolf: What flavor was the candy engagement ring, that you shared with her?

    in reply to: Traditional clothing choices amongst religious Ashkenazy and Sephardic Jewry #1359628

    Joseph
    Participant

    Traditional Sephardic clothing would encompass a robe and a turban (for the head covering.)

    Sephardic Hats


    Joseph
    Participant

    Yibum and chalitzah are also Mitzvos in the Torah. So is burying a meis. It’s also a Mitzvah to carry out a death sentence from Beis Din.

    Since divorce is a Mitzvah, shouldn’t you be encouraging everyone to get divorced?

    Divorce is a Mitzvah in the sense that it’s a Mitzvah to follow the correct Halachic procedures in carrying it out when unfortunately necessary. Just like the Mitzvah of carrying out a Misas Beis Din.

    in reply to: The Goyish Principle of “Live and Let Live” #1359477

    Joseph
    Participant

    Those two examples certainly are religious wrongdoings. And absolutely should be corrected with tochacha. There’s no reason in the world anyone reading any of this could conclude otherwise.

    That being said, just because some goyim or goyishe authorities accuse a Yid of any that, doesn’t mean it has even an iota of basis in reality.

    in reply to: Mochel Loch… time to forgive and be forgiven! #1359447

    Joseph
    Participant

    Mochel Loch, Mochel Loch, Mochel Loch.

    P.S. This is the 10th consecutive year this thread has been used for this purpose.

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 4,306 total)