bjjkid

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Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 57 total)
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  • in reply to: Broken Home #727589
    bjjkid
    Participant

    sacrilege, i am very calm and not worried in the least, however i am a little offended at the “shiddichum” that are being retd,,,,

    in reply to: Broken Home #727585
    bjjkid
    Participant

    artchill, yes if i was 27-31 i would agree with you, however i am not yet 20 years old!!!

    in reply to: Broken Home #727581
    bjjkid
    Participant

    “but what do you call settling?? To go out with a boy from the same backround as you??” how about to go out with bochurim who they themselves have been married and divorced, is that fair? i dont think there is a/t wrong with the bochur per say, but i dont think it is fair to say that since my parents marriage did not work out i have to marry a bochur who has been married previously, and may even have kids….

    in reply to: Broken Home #727568
    bjjkid
    Participant

    IDK, its just confusing to me, y would u not look at the person and instead look at the parents situation in shiddichum? im not trying to sound like a balas gayvah or a/t but BH i am VERY happy, healthy and ttly NORMAL!! i have no “baggage” to speak of, if anything u could say i already learnt from very early on how to deal with a “mother in law” and i BH have a very warm relationship with my step mother…the only thing that i could think would b able to b a p’gam would b the fact that i would have to visit both my father and mother, for some reason i dont get the feeling that its that reason that bochurim refuse to give me a try….my brothers, parents and of course me myself are not interested in settling, is there a reason why i should not b zoche to as chosshuva a shidduch as all my cousins just because my parents, who are both raising BEAUTIFUL, TOIRATIK homes are not living together??

    in reply to: Do You Have A Picture In Your Mind? #1003847
    bjjkid
    Participant

    could anyone figure me out?

    in reply to: Proposal #728120
    bjjkid
    Participant

    “and the shadchan is no longer the go between” hu? not in my circles……

    in reply to: Proposal #728119
    bjjkid
    Participant

    (did you speak to your parents yet, bjjkid) The proposal is about starting to build the connection between the guy and girl. It is about actually verbalizing (hopefully) to the girl his feeling for her and that he wants to spend the rest of his life together. yes, i spoke to my parents about what u said, i am not going into e/t they did, or did not agree with, however one thing that they made very clear was that there is mamish NO difference in status from before an engagement till after, there is just a commitment. as far as change in status, that only happens after kiddushen (the chassana)

    in reply to: Proposal #728118
    bjjkid
    Participant

    yaakov ovinu also ‘proposed” to lovon to marry his daughter, isnt this diff then proposing to the girl herself?

    in reply to: Proposal #728113
    bjjkid
    Participant

    yes, i mean the question, not that the decision is out of the chossen and kallah’s hand just that the actual question and/or cutesy proposal is eliminated

    in reply to: Double dating #725548
    bjjkid
    Participant

    Its important to learn what others do and apply it to your life as applicable. – i dont think i will apply to my life, but thanks for the advice! u may bring me closer to finding my bashert :)!!

    in reply to: Would you marry a smoker? #726061
    bjjkid
    Participant

    does a smoker mamish define s/o as a person?

    in reply to: Dor Yesharim #726411
    bjjkid
    Participant

    where i come from, after three dates we almost start planning a l’chayim! 🙂 🙂 we for sure check dor yeshurim before meeting once!!!

    in reply to: Double dating #725545
    bjjkid
    Participant

    SJSinNYC, no, sorry; u ttly did not change my way of thinking, just made me realize that not e/o has as “narrow” views as i do, but i am still proud of my strong and norrow views and dont plan on changing a/t!!!

    in reply to: Face to Face- Not in the CR #725816
    bjjkid
    Participant

    i come out the same! i have strong ideals and hashkofos and i am not quiet about them!

    in reply to: Girls Compromising in Shidduchim #725936
    bjjkid
    Participant

    it depends what u feel is comprimising…certain shittos u have u should never comprimise on, however if it is a narishkiet, u will prob realize and do away with it on ur own….

    in reply to: Double dating #725534
    bjjkid
    Participant

    well then it is hard for me to comment b/c such a thing is VERY far removed from s/t i would have ever dreamed of doing

    in reply to: Double dating #725531
    bjjkid
    Participant

    i dont know, a boy who has s/t to get angry about on a date knows he is on a date and will control himself, unless you say u spy on him for months i do not c how this would help….

    in reply to: Seeking a Match For Ones Sister #725272
    bjjkid
    Participant

    so ur saying that if i explain things to my bros three times they may chap me? and if its the age gap, it would not apply cuz they r around my age!!!!

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725340
    bjjkid
    Participant

    BUT, i want to delete one part of the bracha, I want to stay in AMERICA untill mashiach so I can continue to gain from the hashpa of my wonderful family.

    in reply to: Double dating #725520
    bjjkid
    Participant

    and you really think that you will c that from going miniature golfing?

    in reply to: Seeking a Match For Ones Sister #725270
    bjjkid
    Participant

    sorry about that. for sure!

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725339
    bjjkid
    Participant

    May she continue to maintain her Bais Yaakov hashkofos – every single one of them – forever iy’h!

    AMEN!!! what a beautiful bracha 🙂

    in reply to: Would you marry a smoker? #725954
    bjjkid
    Participant

    does he smoke or is he a smoker? dont get all self righteous about something that is not ur nisayon…..

    in reply to: Double dating #725518
    bjjkid
    Participant

    what does not going out as a group have any shaychus to getting engaged after 5 dates????

    in reply to: Seeking a Match For Ones Sister #725268
    bjjkid
    Participant

    Took me three reads to figure it out. what could u not figure out?

    in reply to: How much should one spend on dates? #725238
    bjjkid
    Participant

    of course he is trying to figure me out, how else shd i/he decide i/he am good for me/him.

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725334
    bjjkid
    Participant

    sorry, i am not a student, but what do u consider recently graduating? and i got all my hashkafos from my wonderful family and not my school per say,,,,,allthough BJJ did a TON to fortify e/t….

    in reply to: Double dating #725516
    bjjkid
    Participant

    doesnt sound like s/t that a yeshiva bochur/sem girl should b doing, but i could b wrong. and going mini golfing? doesnt sound like the best way to figure out if a person is for u,,,,,

    in reply to: Seeking a Match For Ones Sister #725267
    bjjkid
    Participant

    its fine, i know ill do the same for them!!

    in reply to: Seeking a Match For Ones Sister #725265
    bjjkid
    Participant

    i do have good brothers, and i love what they do for me!!! cant say that they r not a little bit too overprotective over their sister though!!!!

    in reply to: Cutoff Point When Dating #725156
    bjjkid
    Participant

    care to explain?

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725331
    bjjkid
    Participant

    got it 🙂 nashim bimay zachyan?

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725328
    bjjkid
    Participant

    Chemotherapy as Metaphor, whats that?

    in reply to: How much should one spend on dates? #725231
    bjjkid
    Participant

    bored out of my mind? why is a date in a lounge boring? all i want to do is talk to the bochur and figure him out,,,,,not in this for fun. and i live in the tri state area and none of the lounges ive been to had such expensive parking,…..

    in reply to: Dating after Divorce #725388
    bjjkid
    Participant

    i guess maybe we are exceptions, i dont really know because its not like any of my frnds or a/o i know for that matter has the same sitch, it was just always my fam and i cd honestly say i LOVE my step family and its one of Hashem’s biggest presents to me, but i thought that was regular, ive been wrong before 🙂

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725317
    bjjkid
    Participant

    who said a/o was WRONG?

    in reply to: Dating after Divorce #725386
    bjjkid
    Participant

    i dont know,,,,its much more normal to live with an abba/totty then to live with a zaidy, i would think that it shd/wd b much easier for e/o if life continues on as quickly as possible……and parents would/have killed themselves for their kids, how could u say that they only care for themselves??? i think e/o would b happier if the kids thought for a moment how much their parents do/did for them and want them to b as happy as possible,,,,,also, e/t wd b much easier if there were not preconceived notions about step parents,,,,,,,,NO, they r NOT witches,,,,,

    in reply to: Dating after Divorce #725384
    bjjkid
    Participant

    i dont like what earlier posters wrote about making sure your children are happy, children will b comfortable, adjusted and happy if they grow up in a home that thats what the parents believe, my “blended” family was always soooo normal, and yes, i cried for days when my mother told me she got engaged,,,,,young children are not old enought to b taken into the cheshbon, parents know what is best for them.

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725314
    bjjkid
    Participant

    yes, it is priceless to raise your children alone, but nothing compares to a house of torah……..and since i grew up in such a home i know the children are not neglected, and no the babysitter is not mommy even if she watches the kid the whole day…..mommy was/is always learning to b able to b mifarnes the family so totty was/is able to sit and learn shtarkly in yeshiva……

    in reply to: Help For Seminary Interview! #846400
    bjjkid
    Participant

    if a/o is applying to bjj, be careful with whatever u say and make sure u have a REASON for saying/doing it. do not say thank u if it would b a shayla of ribbus, do not kiss the mezuza if u r just doing it out of habit and dont even know what u r doing. it may b scary, but all my frnds who got in came home saying they had a horrible interview, just b honest and answer the reb’s questions with thought out clarity, if you need her to repeat or explain s/t just ask. do not b ashamed if ur mother is a stay at home mom – she will love that….just “chilax”, kol tuv and lihisrois 🙂

    in reply to: Top 5 websites? #726971
    bjjkid
    Participant

    1: gmail

    2: shiddichum list

    3: only simchos

    4: yeshiva world

    5: google maps – street view is amazing!

    in reply to: Cutoff Point When Dating #725153
    bjjkid
    Participant

    whats the diff btwn good frnds and chossen and kallah? or am i missing s/t………you will become better frnds after you get engaged and BEST frnds after you get married,,,,,,,

    in reply to: How much should one spend on dates? #725226
    bjjkid
    Participant

    a hotel lounge is free 🙂 okay, there may b an 8 dollar parking fee but its perfect for up until u become chossen and kallah 🙂

    in reply to: Learning vs. working #725311
    bjjkid
    Participant

    does she want to live a life of mesiras nefesh without the zechus of her husband learning? even if her husband earns a parnasa she will have to live with less if it is only one salary, and in such a case she would be living a kollel life style without the zechus of Torah, i dont envy her.

    in reply to: Seeking a Match For Ones Sister #725262
    bjjkid
    Participant

    wow! ur brother is actually retding u a shidduch? i would jump at that!!!! all my bros are good for is nixing bochurim and when it turns out that i prob will go out with one of their BEST frnds they spend days and nights telling me reasons y it fasure wont work out!!!!

    in reply to: Double dating #725510
    bjjkid
    Participant

    isn’t dating for the purpose of finding your bashert and getting married?? how would such a thing bring u closer to the ultimate goal?

    in reply to: People with Yichus #724141
    bjjkid
    Participant

    Aishes Chayil, I said SOMETIMES i wish……and i know you could but if your name is not an indication of your yichus then not everyone knows……

    in reply to: Communities for Baalei Tshuva #723935
    bjjkid
    Participant

    Passaic, Passaic, Passaic, Passaic 🙂 🙂 🙂

    in reply to: People with Yichus #724137
    bjjkid
    Participant

    yichus IS s/t to be proud of, at the same time you have a responsibility to live up to, so it is not always easy….s/t’s you wish you could b a plain person with a regular last name and know that not e/o is “looking at u” and “watching what you are doing”, at the same time, if you do manage to live up to your yichus then it IS s/t to b proud of. That does not mean you are a bal gayva, but there is s/t to knowing where you come from, and what you aspire to be, i know i am proud of it :), even when it is hard!

    in reply to: what do parents ask when…. #722872
    bjjkid
    Participant

    my father ALWAYS fahers the bochurim……

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 57 total)