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I don’t have a problem with women driving. My wife drives, and I expect that my daughters will. It is acceptable in the community (geographic, religious, and cultural) that I belong to.
However, al tifrosh min hatzibbur. If you have chosen to live in a community which does not accept it, don’t do it.
Lior, according to the Gr”a, even had Chanukah gelt come first, it would still be a problem.
However, I would think, as ubiquitin suggests, that the issue is only in a place where the non Jews have such a custom.
Meh. We manage to get married just fine, maybe it just takes an extra date or two the first time to get over the nerves.
JT, not sure what you mean.
Ubiquitin, interestingly, according to the Gr”a I mentioned, it wouldn’t matter which came first.
Probably the most famous thread in the CR.
Especially since one quick phone call to popa’s shidduch consultant service can get them straight to some Manhattan hotel lounge.
You were wrong. Ask him for mechila.
Don’t worry, I was already moichel.
Depends if they want the best guy in Lakewood or one of my other clients. One of my other clients they can afford without my help. The best guy in Lakewood they’re gonna need me for.
Nah, there are enough best guys in Lakewood out there for those who can afford it (although your third service can create more if necessary).
ah….the problems begin when one side hires you to do a background check, and the other side hires you as their reference!
What’s the problem? The reputation enhancement service will fix everything!
If they can afford your prices, they can afford the best guy in Lakewood without your help.
Haga atzm’cha: how many normal yeshiva guys do you know who aren’t married by 26, and how many that are? (In other words, how many alteh bochurim are yeduim to you?)
I’m not using it in context of the shidduch crisis here, BTW, in case you didn’t read the thread; I’m just pointing out the obvious, that whatever flaws it has, it’ a whole lot more successful than the free for all Oomis suggests.
in-laws matter a little bit
For better or worse, they often matter a lot.
everyone has awkward in-law relationships
This is not true. Despite all the stereotypes and jokes, lots of folks have a terrific relationship with their in-laws.
I found the article I was referring to:
The Progress Report On The ‘Shidduch Crisis’ – By Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz
Here are the quotes I mentioned:
“From interviews with the busier shadchanim in Lakewood, I gleaned that approximately one boy in five gets engaged to the first girl he meets.”
From the paragraph before (this is different than I remembered; it refers to the average, not the majority):
Good character is also subjective.
I don’t expect someone with an IV sticking out of his arm to come to daven b’rabim!
Why not?
DY, I should have bought a lotto ticket – KNEW you would be the one to answer right away! 🙂
Didn’t want to disappoint you. 🙂
That is where we disagree the most, probably.
Absolutely, because this isn’t even a matter of opinion, you’re simply factually wrong. Many, many people (I personally know plenty) grew up in homes where boys and girls’ socializing was acceptable, but changed their approach. What you’re essentially saying is that your perspective is so undeniably correct, and mine so absolutely wrong, that it is impossible to see things my way unless one has never been exposed to yours. Not only is this dismissive of the opinion which you don’t agree with, it is simply not factual.
As far as boys and girls not being able to marry because of lack of social skills, I’ve addressed this fallacy before, but I’ll add a statistic which S.Y. Rechnitz recently reported, based on conversations with Lakewood shadchanim: 20% of Lakewood boys marry the first girl they date, and a large majority (although I don’t recall the percentage) are married within a year of starting shidduchim.
The facts simply don’t bear out your theories.
At least we’re in agreement about what we disagree about. 🙂
The fellow already comes to daven. The question, it seems, is not whether to accept him, but rather whether to throw him out.
ZD’s cases are much different, because there is a safety issue. One shul I know of deals with such situations by closely monitoring the fellow, and without overtly offending him (his guilt unproven) not making him feel too comfortable.
I wasn’t specifically referring to you, takahmamash, I was just pointing out that if we go with your approach of idealism, it’s a non-issue to begin with. If we are concerned, however, with people who are less than perfect who will be disturbed, then we should be concerned with those who are less than perfect and may forget Ya’aleh V’yavo.
There are all sorts of halachos about what to do if someone omitted Ya’aleh V’yavo; the poskim don’t simply say, “you should have paid better attention, you’re on your own now”.
Thank you.
If they were paying attention to their davening they wouldn’t forget the extras and changes in any amidah.
If you were paying proper attention to your davening, you wouldn’t notice the interruption.
Maybe you should ask:
Don’t you think being human should be somewhere on your list?
Only humans use proper grammar.
Don’t you think being male should be somewhere on your list?
and,
Don’t you think being Jewish should be somewhere on your list?
I don’t know why you needed to repeat that.
Don’t you think being post-bar mitzvah age should be somewhere on your list?
You don’t need to qualify that you’re not looking for someone who won’t go out with you anyhow.
DY, don’t you think some things are so obvious that they don’t need to be included?
Or maybe you know someone who’s looking for someone with bad middos?
They won’t say it, but apparently, some people aren’t genuinely focused on it.
I accept your point, though. My apologies.
All the people who think it is untzniusdig to do this,are people who were brought up with that mindset, so naturally they believe it to be the only proper derech
That is absolutely not true.
I am sure that there are individuals who will strongly disagree with me in whole or in part
Well, yes, but I’ll just link to my responses the last two times we debated this.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/rocky-zweig-is-too-funny/page/2?#post-515276
I would be surprised if any prominent rabbonim would approve of young children having access without direct supervision.
Sometimes we’re supposed to be nice to people even if they’re doing something wrong.
Frumguy, there’s very possibly a good reason why the Rav wouldn’t get involved in something like this, such as malbin p’nei chaveiro.
Incidentally, what is going on with the order of the post?
They’re being switched.
Lior, proportion is not the issue. There’s a lot more appropriate, even beneficial content, available on the internet than on TV.
In some ways, internet is worse than TV, and in some ways, TV is worse than internet, but a direct analogy is doomed to fail
But there are rabbonim who asser it in all situationss
Do you see what you just did? You’re trying to tell us which rabbonim we should follow, so that when we follow others, you can accuse us of not following daas Torah. Pretty outrageous.
Lior: That’s a small minority, and I distrust PBS to impart correct values. Don’t you?
And I get a high score on every IQ test I encounter.
But not as high as popa.
Haifagirl, don’t you think midos should be somewhere on your list?
You started a new thread to post this.
Isnt it ironic?
It was posted before Jan. 1.
BTW, Neut, if you follow DaasTorah, how are you participating in this discussion?
The roshei yeshiva he mentioned, AFAIK, do not asser internet in total, or adult use of a moderated forum such as this one.
Should parents show their kids TV, too
Not a great analogy, since TV’s primary function is entertainment, and the content is rarely acceptable. I don’t really see a way to eduducate in its proper use.
Internet, though, has a very practical use, and I can understand the argument for education in how to make sure to use it properly.
I still think that young children should not have free access to internet, and that an internet free home is ideal, if not always feasible.
I understand what you’re saying, but that’s not the ??”?; that’s the ????? ???, but I think you’re misapplying it. See ??? ??? ??’ ?”? ?”? ?”? who quotes the ??”? who assers trees in shul on ??????. I think that is more analogous (in the same ???? in ??”? which you quoted earlier, he brings this ??”?).
Copied and pasted from your earlier post:
?? ???? ????? ????? ????? ???? ??? ???? ????? ????? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ???? ?? ??? ????? ?????? ????????
I don’t know why you don’t think it’s clear – the reason a custom without a known reason is assur is out of concern that perhaps ?? ?? ??? ????? ?????? ????????, so if it certainly does, it is assur. He is not leaning that way, he says it pretty much outright.
As far as looking into the origins, the horse is already out of the barn – we know the origins of gift giving on the ???.
The only question, I think, is whether Chanukah gift giving is considered a copy of that “minhag”, but if it is, there is no basis in the ??”? to be mattir.
Popa’s Silly Answer
Phylacteries Saving Advice
I have a sticker with my name and phone # on the plastic outer cover.
Thanks, Wolf, for the PSA.
LC, the topic is titled “dating someone whose parents are divorced”.
Certainly, growing up in a dysfunctional home of any sort is, probably rightfully, considered a negative in shidduchim. The biggest difference is that you can’t hide a divorce, but can sometimes hide marital discord.
Again, not indicative of an incorrect methodology.
In fact, the Chazon Ish’s nephew writes:
???? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ??? ?????
???? ????? ?????? ?????? ???? ????
http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=49173&st=&pgnum=3&hilite=
I disagree with your reading, although it’s obviously not 100% literal.
Either way, he would not have put the M”B in that category, even in conjunction, had he held his entire methodology wrong.
You put your menorah and some Palmolive in the bathtub. The menorah gets clean, and the grease unclogs the drain.
The Chazon Ish wrote that the rulings of the Mishnah Berurah are like rulings by the Sanhedrin in the Lishkas Hagazis (Igros Chazon Ish 41). I don’t see how Rav Schachter can make his claim.
Also, the M”B has been accepted, in fact, as, in most cases, halachah l’maaseh, whatever the reason, so trying to change that by arguing that he changed the halachah doesn’t seem to make sense.
Lesschumras, who says that’s preferable?
You forgot yichus.
Popa definitely has a higher IQ than DY. Had DY started this thread, it would have read something like this:
I have a great idea. Instead of hand washing my menorah, I’ll just put it in the dishwasher.
The thread would have been a dud.
Compare that to popa’s brilliant formulation in the OP and tell me honestly: who’s got the higher IQ?
So, popa, how did your menorah come out?
JayMatt (nice to hear from you),
Doesn’t WhatsApp require a smartphone for the recipient?
Uh oh, will this thread become obsolete?
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/do-not-create-new-threads
They don’t allow outgoing texts to an international number.
After searching (with Google, of course), I think you’re right that you can’t get an Israeli Google number, so that idea is out.
There are some advertisement based websites which offer international texting. I would try those.
I don’t know if any of the Israeli carriers have email addresses associated with the phone numbers as the US carriers do. If so, email to text would be a good option.
What was wrong with HaLeiVi’s advice? You don’t need an app to receive texts from a Google Voice number (you do need an app or computer to send).