☕ DaasYochid ☕

I would have to see the software, but I would guess that there’s a setting to control how the files are named

ROB, you’re comparing taking an aggad’ta figuratively to arguing with Chazal’s values. The two are not the same.

The “modern invention” of daas Torah is saying that gedolim are infallible.* Whether we extend this to Chazal’s knowledge of science is a separate issue.

Taking our values from our gedolim, however, has never been a question in our mesorah, especially the hashkafos found in Chazal.

*Attributing such a view to the masses is for the most part a fallacy. Many believe that talmidei chachomim have greater wisdom and insight than lay people, but few think they’re infallible.

Leeba, I think you’re grossly underestimating the power of pride.

Sam, uvdin d’chol does not have to have a potential chillul Shabbos; see Kilkeles HaShabbos.

Unfortunately, Sam, I think we’ve gone well past the border. 🙁

ZD, no, they should not ban alcohol, but no competent rov should allow a kiddush club in his shul.

ZD,

When it’s done maliciously, reshoim.

Sam4321, you don’t find it “troubling” and “disturbing” that posters can speak about a Gemara this way?

I think “achakeh lo” indicates that we want it. We also daven for the geulah several times a day, so I can’t see how one can say he doesn’t want it.

I loved abcd2’s response.

Funny? Why?

Ive been in Vegas, Atlantic City and Empire Casino (Yonkers)

Why shlep when you could just go to the corner store for a lottery ticket?

Here is the Kaf Hachaim on bicycles:

http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9085&st=&pgnum=310&hilite=

His three reasons to asser:

1) One might fix it if it breaks

2) One might leave the techum

3) One might carry it if riding becomes difficult (e.g. steep hill).

I haven’t heard directly what R’ Bender thinks is the cause of OTD, nor which mehalech he thinks is best, but I can tell you that most of his kids are Lakewood types, definitely “to the right” of CC and Breuer’s.

I’m surprised that you have also fallen into the trap of oversimplifying the issue, although at least you have the seichel to identify the fact that different factors are involved in different communities.

Since you told me one gavra’s opinion, I’ll share with you this yochid’s daas.

First, we can never completely ignore the concept of bechirah. No matter how difficult a situation one has had to deal with, no matter how bad the mistakes the rebbeim and parents have made, I can always find you people who have had this harder, yet came through with emunah and Yiddishkeit intact. So its always at least partially the fault of the one who chose to stop following the Torah. (I therefore take the blame they always seem to place on others with an ocean full of salt, because human beings tend to blame others instead of themselves for any wrongdoings.)

However, certainly other factors are very influential. The negative experiences someone goes through can make it more challenging to stay faithful, so it’s certainly worthwhile to explore which factors are most likely to negatively impact a child.

Here’s where I’ll do the oversimplifying: the single most important challenge faced by kids is emotional trauma. I once heard an amazing stat: 80% of kids who leave Yiddishkeit were sexually abused in one form or another. Of course without a comparison to those who weren’t, we can’t accurately gauge the numbers, but it’s still an eye opening number. I think that it’s not the specific nature of the abuse which causes the problem; any type of abuse is dangerous to spiritual health, including physical and emotional abuse. Some types of abuse are more traumatic than others, but a life of emotional abuse by the parents, which can itself take many forms, can make it very difficult for a child to remain frum.

When excessive chumras are made the scapegoat for OTD, I think the main point is being missed. Often, it’s completely a scapegoat, and sometimes, it’s merely a trigger. It’s not the religion itself – not halacha meikar hadin, and not chumra – which is to blame. In some cases, the way it is implemented might be emotionally abusive. (In those cases, I would assume that the emotional abuse isn’t limited to areas of Yiddishkeit, but its a great defense mechanism for a child who rebelled against religion to lay the blame at the foot of religion.) However, healthy parents, with siyata dishmaya and seichel (b’ikar, the siyata dishmaya is needed to give the parents seichel) can, have, and will continue to be mechanech their children, without compromise.

WIY, read the rules. No links allowed.

Yesterday, I posted the Kaf Hachaim’s opinion on bikes, with a link to, *gasp*, Hebrewbooks .org, and it was deleted.

You can tell people how to find the source instead.

Generally, Hebrewbooks has been allowed.

It usually is. I don’t see it, feel free to repost.

Gavra, so ZD is arguing that we should become MO b’tzinah?

Torah613Torah,

Is ping pong allowed on Shabbos?

Popa, you’re right, I should have said, “formerly bored”.

People tell the story of the Chofetz Chaim and how he said he was affected by seeing women when he was in his 80s.

Thankfully I was not closeted away, and I learned how to deal with women respectfully, and control myself.

So you’re saying that your approach is better than the Chofetz Chaim’s?

$15 a week, $20 if she cleans her room without having to be asked twice.

FFG, I believe you’re thinking of “migu d’i bo’i shosak”, but I fail to see any relevance.

Let me rephrase my earlier post, because WIY apparently didn’t get it, and my response to him is still, as of this posting, is still in moderation limbo.

The OP no longer values the same things which I do. I will not change my values out of fear of my kids going of the d erech, ch”v. That would be changing or even abandoning the derech. Some of the things the OP wishes parents would compromise on are completely against Halacha.

I’d be more than happy to consider anyone’s suggestions on how to make my values more palatable, and how to keep them on the derech. When you tell me, though, that you don’t like my derech, I stop listening.

Because it’s after Memorial Day.

Oomis, it seems that poskim are meikil when it comes to kids and tricycles (but not bikes).

I think baseball should be assur because of, as you say, uvdin d’chol, and, as I alluded to, and other posters mentioned as well, there is an issur to do things which require a straight floor, lest one fill in holes or flatten bumps.

The status of a car or truck seems to be kli shem’lachto l’issur, so it’s muttar l’tzorech gufo. Maybe climbing on it, even if it moves it a bit, would be considered tzorech gufo.

Popa, http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/popa-figures-out-more-stuff

You’re right that playing ball entails it’s own issues (328:5 comes to mind as well).

What do you say about bicycle riding?

The best way of minimizing the chances of your kids going off the derech is to not have a derech.