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Someone tried to redt me a shidduch with a boy who was coming home for pesach. My parents asked what will happen if they still want to continue after and he’s supposed to go back to ey. They said what do u mean? Dating “so long” is the “goyish” way to do things.
That’s one way to get pressured.
I believe the Chazon Ish says you shouldn’t let a baby cry.
Maybe there’s something comforting you can give him – something familiar, a toy (a mobile), blanket, a water bottle (ppl don’t recommend any other bottles at night) etc, or stay with him til he falls asleep. (Actually this has the opposite effect for me – what works best for me – I put my baby in, give her a blanket & pacifier & leave immediately, otherwise she gets excited that I’m there & it keeps her up.)
Finally a parsha where they aren’t still single and you’re acting like it’s a crisis?
WIY – how abt this: You can expect her to go to shiurim, as long as during that time, you’d be doing all the things she would otherwise be doing (taking care of the kids, cleaning, cooking…) This way she’ll have the time to go!
While I enjoy an occasional shiur, I was never one to go to weekly shiurim etc, (some girls are into it, some are not.) and now that I’m married I really don’t have that much time to listen to shiurim in general – definitely not weekly. However, by Shabbos meals, and every so often my husband will tell over something he learned that he thinks I would enjoy or would inspire me. Plus we try to learn something every night during supper. Why don’t you something like that? It can certainly keep up the level of hashkafa you want. Even if she agrees to go to shiurim, at some point life might get too hectic, and she may just stop going altogether.January 1, 2013 6:34 pm at 6:34 pm in reply to: how does Hashem want girls with good voices to use them? #917079
Sing to people (ladies only obviously) if it will cheer them up. Sing for organizations to help raise money.
Health – Not sure if you were serious or not but it doesn’t sound like they’re having such major marriage problems that would require divorce or therapy c”v. Although seeking advise from rabbanim and other knowledgeable people is always a good idea, you seem to imply that their marriage is on the rocks. Every one has differences and arguments in a marriage (and this is a pretty typical one) – nothing wrong with that! Question is how to deal with it.
Trim – how about suggesting to her – without even mentioning her spending habit, that you think it’s a good idea to start a savings acct, or CD, etc. – give her a good excuse/reason (for the kid’s weddings, buy a house- whatever will work for her.) Decide together on a certain percentage or amount of what you earn each month will go into this acct. Then if you can afford and there’s still a few dollars left, if she really wants, let her buy something sometimes! It’s ok to OCCASIONALLY splurge on yourself (or spouse) as long as it’s in control. If there’s no extra, maybe she won’t feel the need to spend.
I really hope everything works out for you and your family, esp with the new baby on the way. I am davening for you.
Just one thing:
“…I don’t even know of any studio’s for as low as $1K a month”
I don’t know what your apartment situation is, however I also live in an area where the rent is generally at least this high, sometimes way more, but keep searching – sometimes an apartment opens up even in NY that is much cheaper (and it can even be a decent apartment.) I looked for a good few months and b”h was able to find a nice 2 1/2 brm apt for under $1000. It may not be necessary to move away from where you live now and your job etc.
You just have to realize that they’re going to preach zionistic so tune out when they do that. Even the separate tours meet other tours and sometimes stay in the same motels. Best to go with friends so you can stay “on track”. And have fun! And extend your trip if you can – it’s worth it.
As far as taking things along – just the usual clothes, bathing suit, HAT/CAP = very impt, backpack…
Frummy – the difference with a person “knowing” what you will do in advance and Hashem knowing, is that Hashem is never wrong. You can tell me you know I’m going to write this post right before I do, but I might change my mind last minute. Hashem is never wrong, so if He knows you will do something how can you decide not to? That’s why it’s so hard for humans to understand this.
Not to give a psak, but I keep chalav yisroel and eat Oreos. I was also told (in addition to what you mentioned) that there are people with milk allergies who can eat them. (I know someone specific who can.)
thanks men for working so hard to earn a living, and for learning Torah, and for coming home after a hard day of doing both and helping arnd the house too!
Btw, maybe the women aren’t online bec they’re busy preparing supper and taking care of the kids and the house, so you can come home to a nice hot meal in a clean house after your hard day at work!
NOBODY: I actually wouldn’t rule out baalei teshuvah bec I know baalei teshuva that come from chasidish background and returned to their original roots (but not necessarily all the way – see my previous post)
People have different interpretations of the word heimish. My husband’s family is heimish – and the way I’ve heard it defined most is that you come from chassidish background, and may have a few chassidish minhagim, but not chassidish all the way. My guess is that the connection to the word “heim – or home” is that they are following some of their traditions from the alte heim, but that’s my own take on it.
It is not the OPPOSITE of yeshivish – as you can be both – we are also yeshivish. And of course there are different interpretations of yeshivish, but that’s another whole topic lol.
What if ur travelling long distance just to get somewhere (ex: going to in laws for 2nd days) – the trip itself is not for the pleasure of y”t but we will need to eat on the way. Most likely we’ll stop to eat in gas stations etc. We DO have a popup sukkah, just wondering if it’s necessary according to this post.
I heard if you eat less a few days before the fast your stomach will shrink so you’ll need to eat less. (I learned this might be a reason why eating the day before Yom Kippur is considered like fasting for 2 days – it makes it harder to fast so it’s AS IF you’re fasting 2 days)