Haimy

Let me be very clear: The intention of my question was not about distancing those that are OTD, it was about not allowing severe Torah transgressions within a Jewish home become the new normal. It’s also about being realistic these people returning whether you call them a choleh or not. The smaller chances of them returning, the less issurim we should tolerate. I believe the main focus should be on those struggling within the frum world, before they het lost outside.

This is the claim of Dr.Schechter of Bikurcholim of Rockland County. Google Dr. Schechter frum divorce study.
Regardless of the numbers, we know it’s going up by us & going down by the educated secular.

Pressuring singles to get engaged is a dangerous endeavor which is one reason for the increase in frum divorces according to R’Akiva Tatz. Deciding the most important decision of your life in a state of anxiety & stress leads to problems.

Everyone is welcome to explain how wonderful it is to learn Chumash & Rashi in Yiddish, & I admit it does have maalos, however it is ruining the potential of about 20% of each class of boys. I personally took my son from a Yiddish speaking school where he was failing & becoming a behavioral problem & is now from the top boys in his English speaking class.
I get calls regularly from parents who don’t know what to do about their child that’s failing due to yiddish.
The main reason why Yiddish is still in Vogue is in order to keep out certain elements from the yeshivish schools. I think we’re paying too high a price.

The Secular world makes an assumption that people wouldn’t make bad decisions if they hadn’t been a victim themselves. So every pathology is rooted in an earlier vulnerability caused by someone else.
The Torah approach is Ki yetzer Lev Hoadom ra minurov, at every moment the Soton seeks that we self destruct ourselves, Spiritually & physically.
We do our teens a disservice by blaming others for misfortunes that occurred due to bad choices made by their peers. The most empowering message we can give them is that they alone hold the keys to the best choices in life. No one can take that away from them.

Much more common than in the past.

What is your information based on?

When I wrote expert, I meant a person with years of experience & professionalism in a given field. Of course, everyone has an agenda or personal interest to promote otherwise they wouldn’t waste their time sharing their knowledge.
For example: would you be interested in posting questions to a professional career coach about possible under explored parnassah opportunities for yeshiva type people?
Which college degrees are not worth pursuing because the market is saturated with graduates looking for a job?
Someone experienced in real estate investing: Is there a conservative way to enter this field without undo risk?
A person experienced with kids at risk, How to give them the space they need without lowering the standards for one’s other children?
Accountant: Is there a simple way to manage the books of a home business?
My point is that There’s a lot of useful knowledge we can learn from each other if the right medium existed to share that information. I’m wondering if YNW could provide the platform for this interaction.
(A secular site with this kind of idea would be Quora.)
I prefer learning new useful information to reading anonymous posts on any random topic.

Rav Yaakov Kaminetzki was famously known to recommend keeping young bachurim at home for their high school years. A stable family environment creates emotionally healthy people. The teen years are most prone for depression or anxiety disorders to manifest. Out of town, there’s limited access to good therapy or tutoring. Many parents only realize their child has a problem after years of sending them out of town & being told how well he’s learning without mentioning his nonexistent social life. It can take years to repair the untreated condition when it explodes later.
I’m not saying out of town isn’t for anyone, I’m saying be sure your son is ready & then closely monitor his level of happiness & social interaction.

Social services are meant to be a safety net for those who can’t make it on their own. I happen to fit that category, I work full time my wife works part time & we have B’H 9 children. Tuition & day camp is what’s sinking my financial boat. As long as the private school is no more expensive than public school I don’t see why the cost of education should not be calculated as an expense just like utilities or mortgage interest are.
The government loses nothing by me sending to private rather than public school.
For the safety & wellbeing of my children, I cannot send them to a public school. I don’t want them getting hooked on drugs, edited suicide & many other modern ills of western society.
So after sending my kids to a safe school, I am just as financially needy as a poor homeless guy at the soup kitchen, am I less deserved of food stamps to feed my kids? Do I need to call Tomchei Shabbos?