Haimy

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  • in reply to: How can I get my sefer into the hands of yeshiva bochurim #1963548
    Haimy
    Participant

    Have Rabbi Yair Hoffman write a (if deserved) glowing article about it on this & other sites with a link to purchase it at a deeply discounted price. Very few contemporary seforim by unknown authors make it, they usually end up in shaimos or collecting dust. Even great Roshei Yeshivos had little mazel with their seforim.

    in reply to: Frum non profit organizations disclosing financials. #1879439
    Haimy
    Participant

    In my humble opinion, the leadership of chesed/tzedakah organizations are Gabboei Tzadakah who should be beholden to the klal & be relatively transparent about how the directors are compensated & what percentage of raised funds reached the intended recipients.. How genuine are the pleas of a rosh hamosad of chesed if he’s walking away with an overinflated salary? I don’t know what constitutes a fair salary but there’s got to be range that’s acceptable. The fact that these organizations are critical to the frum world doesn’t justify the taking of public funds for large personal compensation. A vaad of Rabbonim should be representing the Klal in analyzing the expenditures of the important mosdos.

    in reply to: mixed emotions right before getting engaged #1878429
    Haimy
    Participant

    You need to find your inner voice amongst all the emotion your feeling. Sometimes discussing your feelings with someone you trust will allow you to find that voice. If you need to clarify some points about the other side then do so.
    An experienced shadchan can be very helpful at this stage.

    in reply to: How was Daf Yomi studied originally? #1878106
    Haimy
    Participant

    My main intention was to rethink the original intention the originators of daf Yomi had. I don’t know why this aspect of torah learning has almost been forgotten from fine balei batim. Learning a piece of Gemarah with Rashi is a thrill not to be missed which no equivalent study aid can compare. I simply felt too guilty tuning the page without looking at one Rashi that I decided to try the Oraysoh Amud Yomi program. Rashi is Rabon Shel Yisroel!, how can we leave him out of our study of Gemara? Of course, all the study aids are relying on Rashi, but don’t you want to learn from our Rebbi first hand?.

    in reply to: A basic Torah Hashkafa unknown to some. #1874822
    Haimy
    Participant

    Avi K,
    “Haimy, what about working side by side with people who say rechilut and lashon hara, cheat on their taxes, lie to day school scholarship boards, etc”
    I would Absolutely feel uncomfortable associating with an unrepentant destructive person! Especially if they proudly announced their belief in the validity of those behaviors.
    That is exactly my point! If Hashem hates certain behaviors then we should develop a revulsion to them even if the society around us embraces them. Don’t mistreat them, don’t make a chilul Hashem, don’t cause sinas Yisroel. Do feel sick in your stomach when a man shows up in a dress! Do feel sick in your stomach when you see people proudly celebrating their breaking Hashem’s cardinal rules for mankind.
    Am I a big Baal Madreiga? Not at all! but I feel some basic respect to the borei olom & would never say that it makes no difference to me how people act as long as they perform well on the job.
    Homophobia? I believe that is a natural instinct Hashem put into mankind to make it easier for us to abide by Hashem’s laws. I also have smoke phobia, I feel uncomfortable when I smell plastic or wood burning. My fight or flight system warns me of danger. 2 zechorim holding hands also awakens withing me similiar feelings. These feelngs are a gift from Hashem that I cherish. This entire discussion is only about people that openly flaunt Hashem’s laws. I’m not refering to the painful struggle certain people face privately in this area. I empathize with them & do not look down at them. They are the giborim who were given a very difficult nisayon to overcome in this world.

    in reply to: A basic Torah Hashkafa unknown to some. #1874657
    Haimy
    Participant

    What did Bilaam say to the Midianites? אמר להם אלהיהם של אלו שונא זימה, Sanhedrin. 106a. Hashem hates Zenus. Mishkav Zochor is one of the 7 Mitzvos given to Noach, each of those Mitzvos come with the death penalty when they are disobeyed. I think it is pretty well known that the Bible forbids this behavior. Even if you can claim that they are all innocent because they don’t know any better, it should definitely bother you that mankind is behaving in a way that’s contrary to Hashem’s will. LOshon Horah & cheating are also a serious chataim but there’s no capital punishment attached. If an srial cheater or baal loshon horah works in close proximity to you then you would feel uncomfortable by that, why not for a noef? Even if legally we need to tolerate sinners we should still feel bothered by their choices. People’s behaviors don’t just happen, they are intentional decisions that a person makes. You cannot separate a murderer from the murder he committed or a mezaneh from the znus he intentionally commits. It’s only after doing teshuvah that we can separate people from their behaviors because they now regret tho choices they made.

    in reply to: Why does the frum world have no clout? #1873321
    Haimy
    Participant

    lowerourtuition11210
    Do our Shuls which function 12-24 hours a day compare to any other religious “temple”?
    Our summer camps are religious institutions. They are different than the few Akum camps out there. We should be marching for our religious rights to practice our religion freely in this country. I’m starting to realize that Satmar knows how to deal with the secular authorities better than anyone. The polite suit & tie askan has been raked over the coals in my humble opinion.

    in reply to: How was Daf Yomi studied originally? #1868229
    Haimy
    Participant

    Kol Hakovod to anyone that commits himself to learning a Blatt Gemarah each day, with or without Rashi. I am grapling with this question myself as I want to embark on a set pace of learning for part of my day. The idea of going through shas without Rashi seems like a change from tradition & is not in the spirit of the Yeshiva mesorah. There is a special sweetness to figuring out a gemarah with Rashi at your side that no study aid can replicate.

    in reply to: How was Daf Yomi studied originally? #1867996
    Haimy
    Participant

    You can’t get through the Daf with a Mesivta or Artscroll & go back to catch the Rashi’s. Rashi needs to be learned step by step line by line. Doing so would take me on average at least an 1 to 2 hours to understand a Blatt properly, Excluding Chazarah. I wasn’t ready for that level of commitment in addition to my other Sedarim. If I forget about Rashi it can be done with an Artscroll in 20-30 minutes. I just felt like I was betraying Rashi & the whole concept of Torah Sheball Peh by ignoring Rashi & just going quickly over the Gemarah with the help of a Mesivta. I also find it hard to believe that this was the original intention of Rav Meir Shapiro when he established Day Yomi. I’m sure he assumed that the Rashi would be learned together with the Gemarah. & that’s a whole different learning experience. I can’t imagine a former Kollel yungerman thinking to himself that learned a blatt Gemarah today without having peered into even one Rashi on the Daf. Even if he has the G”M cold.

    in reply to: How was Daf Yomi studied originally? #1867780
    Haimy
    Participant

    I’m not detracting from Daf Yomi which is a spiritual lifeline to many frum Yidden.
    The question is if Daf Yomi is now in general a Gemarah minus Rashi endeavor. I felt very uncomfortable turning the page without even taking a look at one Rashi. Artscroll or Mesivta now in the blanks & you’re ready to go without Rashi. I don’t see this type of learning as being anymore connected to other Yidden than the fact that we al daven from the same siddur each day.

    in reply to: Lakewood Yeshivos closed because of Murphy not Corona. #1864226
    Haimy
    Participant

    We may never know if we are ready to reopen, does that mean we sacrifice our children’s mental & spiritual health & remain closed indefinitely? Absolutely not. Governor Murphy isn’t the poseik for Klal Yisroel & neither are frum doctors. I can assure you that if not for the non Jewish government stopping us the Yeshivos would be open with safe social distancing. We are in a deep galus right now when our Yeshivos are closed by government decree & we have no way to properly teach Torah to our children. The Governers timeline to reopen is not the halachic timeline.

    Haimy
    Participant

    I quoted a prestigious doctor stating that more people will die if we keep young people in isolation than if we allow them to come out & be productive. He is obviously going anti-establishment who believes everyone should be under lockdown. Think for yourself about what makes more sense. Those that feel comfortable thinking out of the box will likely agree with him. Those that are normally very trusting of doctors & politicians or are very frightened about Covid19 will likely disagree. There’s no clear answer either way. All we know for a certainty is that every day we prolong this state of isolation more people’s general health, livelihoods, education, illness diagnoses & treatment, & mental health is being lost. This we know for sure, al pi derech hateva R”L. May Hashem have rachmonus on us.

    Haimy
    Participant

    Health,
    The only sensible statement you’ve made is that ” Right now they don’t know the full extent of the Virus called Covid19″ I agree with that 100%, we simply don’t know. What we do know is that if we don’t allow those with almost any risks come out of isolation it will ruin the livelihood, education, mental health, relationships, of many many people. Don’t choose a “known” disaster over an “unknown” unlikely disaster.

    Haimy
    Participant

    Think of the risk of millions of people losing their livelihood, millions of children missing their education, millions of people going undiagnosed with serious illnesses because of the shutdown. Will all this not ruin many lives? Hashem put us in a world that requires our active engagement for humanity to survive & thrive in. Let’s at least allow those with the lowest risk factors to reenter the world & be productive again. Many people will Ch”V suffer nervous breakdowns if we keep them quarantined much longer. Parents of young children are wondering how they’ll buy food & pay their mortgage next month. It’s time to allow the least vulnerable to reengage with life.

    in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1856866
    Haimy
    Participant

    The Rabbonim in Lakewood have permitted Davening with a minyon metzumzum & learning with a chavrusa 6 feet apart from each other. Our Children are missing a tremendous amount of learning because the schools are closed. I propose that we arrange 1 Rebbi for every 9 children with 6 feet between them & preferably outdoors. This is legal & safe & would be a big improvement over the current telephone system. Yeshivos should hire substitutes to teach & also fill in for older rebbeim who should remain in isolation.

    in reply to: Did KJ have less Covid Deaths Thanks to Dr. Zelenko? #1855559
    Haimy
    Participant

    I’m not coming with an agenda, I honestly would like to know if KJ had proportionally fewer deaths per the population & how widespread Dr. Zelenkow’s protocol was used. This is especially significant since social isolation seems to be observed to a lesser degree in the Satmar Kehillos than in other communities. As widely reported on YWN. Less social distancing & a lower death rate should be an indicator that his treatment is working if it’s being commonly used in KJ.

    in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1855298
    Haimy
    Participant

    We don’t know the answer today & we won’t know it a month from now if we don’t begin easing the restrictions & see if the infection rate remains low. How long should we continue like this “Because we don’t know?”. Let’s start with some really meaningful steps like allowing most small businesses to reopen with strict guidelines like open windows, facemasks, & only a few people under 55 to enter. Otherwise, we’ll be left with this question forever.

    in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1854426
    Haimy
    Participant

    Syag: How much longer do we assume people are carriers after being quarantined to 2 months with the same group of people?

    in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1854302
    Haimy
    Participant

    How does extreme social distancing help us in the long run? will this virus just decide to leave if everyone stays home? This is only delaying the eventual spread of Covidto everyone Ch”V. The overwhelming majority of those who sadly died were the elderly & immunocompromised. They should definitely continue to self-quarantine.
    The rest of society needs to move on, especially those under 45. My humble opinion.

    in reply to: Cancel Yeshiva Summer Vacation This Year. #1851404
    Haimy
    Participant

    This is something that should be considered. Maybe not a total cancellation, but a reduced vacation of 2 weeks would be fine. Yeshivos shouldn’t be pressured by the announcements from camps of their intention to open this summer.

    in reply to: Inspiring safe & legal Porch minyanim all over Lakewood #1851381
    Haimy
    Participant

    I’d like to quote the words of an aino Yehudi as he posted his experience on Patch dot com.
    “Robert Margulski, Neighbor
    Lakewood, NJ
    |
    3h
    On Saturday, April 18th, not being Jewish, I attended a local service with about 10 other Jewish gentlemen. 10? Plus me? The local Rabbi had a table altar outside his home. Just him, 1. Some across the street, some down the block. ALL were 30 feet or more from each other. I sat on my porch and, with all the praying around me, it felt like I was in a House of God. The Peace of our Lord was all around me. It was beautiful.”
    If we follow the law & act safely than our porch minyonim are a Kiddush Hashem!

    in reply to: Voice For Corona VFC #1849544
    Haimy
    Participant

    The facts are that a certain percentage of healthcare workers are not treating frum Yidden properly which is leading to more deaths & sickness (See the letter by Rav Shlomo Miller Shlita). Precisely because healthcare workers are overstrained & facing the risk of catching ill they are more susceptible to believe the reporting in the mass media that ultra-orthodox Jews aren’t practicing social isolation & thereby putting everyone else at risk. A nurse in Kimball hospital in Lakewood told a female patient as she was intubating her “You’re probably not coming out of here alive”. When people are stressed out, their darker sides often emerge & we need to be prepared to deal with this. This is actually the reason why the Poskim of Lakewood have forbidden all minyonim, even on porches. The frum patients are being mistreated in the hospitals because of the foolish behavior of some in the frum community. Holding people responsible for their behavior is sometimes the only way to get them to overcome their biases against us. I can see a place for this kind of askonus. I also realize that it may antagonize things more. This is a hard call.

    in reply to: We need a plan for the covid19 virus #1839663
    Haimy
    Participant

    The CDC’s recommendation:
    Get Ready for COVID-19 Now
    Have supplies on hand
    Contact your healthcare provider to ask about obtaining extra necessary medications to have on hand in case there is an outbreak of COVID-19 in your community and you need to stay home for a prolonged period of time.
    If you cannot get extra medications, consider using mail-order for medications.
    Be sure you have over-the-counter medicines and medical supplies (tissues, etc.) to treat fever and other symptoms. Most people will be able to recover from COVID-19 at home.
    Have enough household items and groceries on hand so that you will be prepared to stay at home for a period of time.
    Take everyday precautions
    Avoid close contact with people who are sick
    Take everyday preventive actions
    Clean your hands often
    Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially after blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing, or having been in a public place.
    If soap and water are not available, use a hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol.
    To the extent possible, avoid touching high-touch surfaces in public places – elevator buttons, door handles, handrails, handshaking with people, etc. Use a tissue or your sleeve to cover your hand or finger if you must touch something.
    Wash your hands after touching surfaces in public places.
    Avoid touching your face, nose, eyes, etc.
    Clean and disinfect your home to remove germs: practice routine cleaning of frequently touched surfaces (for example: tables, doorknobs, light switches, handles, desks, toilets, faucets, sinks & cell phones)
    Avoid crowds, especially in poorly ventilated spaces. Your risk of exposure to respiratory viruses like COVID-19 may increase in crowded, closed-in settings with little air circulation if there are people in the crowd who are sick.
    Avoid all non-essential travel including plane trips, and especially avoid embarking on cruise ships.
    If COVID-19 is spreading in your community, take extra measures to put distance between yourself and other people to further reduce your risk of being exposed to this new virus.
    Stay home as much as possible.
    Consider ways of getting food brought to your house through family, social, or commercial networks
    Have a plan for if you get sick:
    Consult with your health care provider for more information about monitoring your health for symptoms suggestive of COVID-19.

    in reply to: Only 3 days left to vote in WZO, hold your nose & do it. #1839090
    Haimy
    Participant

    I’m not here to tell anyone which Gadol to follow. I saw a video of Rav Shmuel Fuerst of Chicago (Who a talmid of Rav Shmuel Kaminetzky) stating that Rav Shmuel strongly encourages that we vote & that Rav Gershon said that Rav Shmuel is the final deiah in America. The political situation in E.Y is quite dangerous right now for the Chareidi tzibbur. My point is that there are enough senior manhigei yisroel like Rav Elya Brudny, Rav Shmuel, Rav Asher Weiss, supporting this that a sincerely Frum Yid can proudly take a stand & vote. My hope is that only good comes out of this campaign & that eventually even those opposed to voting will later agree it was right in hindsight. There’s only one day left to vote, please make up your mind either way & decide before it’s too late. Sitting back & doing nothing because your unsure who to follow while the yishuv is in a sakonah is not a responsible response. Ask you Rav or RH”Y & do what’s right for you.

    in reply to: Only 3 days left to vote in WZO, hold your nose & do it. #1838875
    Haimy
    Participant

    Imagine those 50 slots become occupied by anti religious reform candidates (probably non Jews)& Jstreet. Aren’t we better off keeping them out? Don’t let perfect ruin the good.

    in reply to: Preventable Marriage Disasters #1832698
    Haimy
    Participant

    I Actually requested YWN to remove this post after It went live because I realized that there are people that can feel hurt by my mentioning specific disorders. I ask mechilah of any person I may have hurt & request of YWN to either remove this post entirely or at least remove the sentence mentioning specific diagnoses. I acknowledge that there certainly are individuals who suffer from these & other disorders & who still maintain a stable home. My intention was about severely disabling situations.
    I also know of people whose lives were ruined because they unknowingly entered a marriage with a mentally dysfunctional spouse & no one cared to warn them about it before.
    At the divorce proceedings of one young woman (who nebach hasn’t remarried now 10 years later) the boy’s Rosh Hayeshiva berated her for rejecting his beloved dysfunctional talmid. This tragedy could have been avoided in my humble opinion if the right research had been done before the marriage.
    Forget about trusting the references listed on a resume, they are the least reliable source of information. Use the references to find other unbiased people who will give you a true picture of the person. Roommates can provide invaluable information since they see the day to day interpersonal behavior of the person. I always ask the following question: Would you be comfortable with this person marrying a close relative of yours? the tone of the answer is very revealing. People aren’t offering bad information outright, we want to be positive about other Yidden & don’t want to hurt them. You need to ask the right questions to protect yourself.

    in reply to: Issuing calls for Tehillim when it’s (almost) too late. #1829707
    Haimy
    Participant

    Rav Boruch Sorotzkin was one of the gedolei Hador & it’s possible you said Tehillim because every moment an Odom Gadol is with us is meigin & mekayem the world. In addition, Hashem is noheig lemaalah miderech hateva with tzadikim muflogim. I concede that in special situations we daven despite the odds. It’s when this kind of call is happening on a regular basis here on YWN that I think requires a Sheaylas Rav. Is it correct to ask the tzibbur to begin davening for someone who is just barely alive with no medical way to recover. I can tell you that this is demoralizing, especially to young people.

    in reply to: Issuing calls for Tehillim when it’s (almost) too late. #1829214
    Haimy
    Participant

    I don’t know if we can bring a rayah from a personal story with Rav Moshe. It’s very possible that Rav Shlomo Zalmen davened privately for a refuah. His opinion was that public calls for tefilah when there is no possible derech hateva way to recover is not right because it weaken peoples emunah in the koach of tefilah. I can tell you that every time YWN issues a call for tefilah I sadly assume that this is a last minute thing & the person is more on the olom Haemes than on this world. Usually within 48 hours they are announcing the petirah R”L. I think this deserves a shealas rav whether this is appropriate. I know that there are people who feel discouraged from davening after seeing that it’s not working time & again.

    in reply to: returning to amazon #1826950
    Haimy
    Participant

    Gadol Hatorah: Obviously if it’s against halacha then it would very possibly make no difference which zipcode it came from. The fact is that halacha is not so clear in this situation. I’m suggesting (being an Amazon seller myself) that before you take advantage of Amazon’s liberal return policy, you consider the fact that you may very well be hurting another frum Yid. And Yes Mr. Gadol, I consider treating a fellow Yid as family & not as any other fellow citizen, & therefore have more of a reason to go beyond the letter of the law.

    in reply to: returning to amazon #1826637
    Haimy
    Participant

    Unless its from a Chinese sounding company it may very well be a Frum Yid that sold you the item. Many of the American based sellers are from Brooklyn & Lakewood.

    in reply to: Are public displays of Frum support of Trump a safe thing? #1825256
    Haimy
    Participant

    We are supposed to keep a low profile in galus & not instigate A.Y., public support of President Trump instigates the minority communities against us. They will one day be the majority & turn this America into a third world socialist country. We need to think ahead.

    in reply to: $5,000.000 donated to Trump by Orthodox Jews, can we afford it? #1801261
    Haimy
    Participant

    We have a situation today where very wealthy frum Yidden develop pet projects where they invest millions of dollars in. These are icing on the cake endeavors that make a lot of buzz but are of negligeable benefit to the Torah community at large.
    This is while critical needs of the klal like building new schools, supporting lomdei Torah respectably, lowering the costs of chasunahs, tutoring & mentoring programs, making post kollel job training affordable, etc. are falling behind.
    This is an issue of bein Odom Lechavriro.
    Chazal tell us that the people blessed with unusual wealth are Gisborim, caretakers for the Ribono Shel Olom to help out his children. Rav Ahron Leib Shteynman would obligate Gevirim to give up to 50% of their earnings to Tzedaka. Rav Moshe mentions this several time in Dorash Moshe That that really all the money in the world should be shared equally by society, Hashem decided to give it in an unequal way in order to be mezakeh the Ashirim in Tzedaka vochesed. He says thaey should look at themselves as mere trustees of the Klal.
    It’s very possible that this overwhelming support of Trump puts us at risk of intimidating the many people who hate Trump in the local tristate area. Maybe it’s np coincidence that B&H was handed a law suit just a few days later.
    Redifas Hakovod & lack of rabbinical guidance leads gevirim to foolishly squander their money when they can create so much good with it.
    By society asking questions we can hopefully encourage the trustees of the Klall to put the funds to the most important needs we have.

    in reply to: After millions spent on promotion why are 30% of seats unsold? #1800466
    Haimy
    Participant

    The reason why tickets to professional sports games are expensive is that A) they are for-profit organizations, B) they pay their players millions of dollars. This has no relevance to the Siyum.
    When we monetize an event it’s organized & promoted much differently than when it’s done Lishmah. The Siyum in the past had no monetary objective, it was done kulo lesheim shamayim. If we have no choice but to make it a grand fundraiser then fine go ahead,but at least realize that we’ve lost one last piece of the past.

    in reply to: After millions spent on promotion why are 30% of seats unsold? #1800089
    Haimy
    Participant

    The Siyum website clearly states that the reason for the many high priced seats is to ” Support further limud Hatorah after the siyum through theeir “Ki heim Chayeinu initiatives” Clearly not to cover the cost of the venue & not for their shtadlonus.
    My humble opinion is that the way to support further limud Hatorah is to allow more middle-class Yidden attend & from that chizuk they will hopefully be inspired to learn more.( I personally don’t believe the Agudah will have much success from spending money in the future directly on limud Hatorah.) “As Chazal tell us M’bnei Aniyyim Teitzei Torah” Let the Anniyim feel good by being part of it.
    Add in the cost of transportation roundtrip to the Siyum & you have a hefty bill.
    I in no way mean to bash the Agudas Yisroel or their leadership, they are a critical organization for the success of the Torah world & are led by Gedolei Yisroel.

    in reply to: Rav Tzion Menachem, Mekubal #1798645
    Haimy
    Participant

    He’s back in town as advertised on YWN. If you consulted with him & have information that would be letoeles hazibbur then please share your experience. It may save a Yid from tremendous aggravation or possibly lead to a yeshuah. If a person is let down by someone who claims to be a rabbi it can cause them to lose all faith in our chachomim since they don’t know the difference between the real to the fake. (I know nothing about him but I am extremely skeptical about miracle workers looking for money)

    in reply to: Keeping the Siyum Hashas Sacred. #1796691
    Haimy
    Participant

    OK, the sacredness of the Siyum Hashas needs to be sacrificed in order to raise funds to spread more daf yomi among Klal Yisroel. I don’t know of any gadol or Rosh Hayeshiva who actually urges his talmidimg to join Daf Yomi anymore. Todays hectic work cycle makes it very difficult for a Yeshiva graduate to have a sipuk from daf yomi unless it’s done through Dirshu with it’s strong Chazarah & testing program.
    How exactly will the funds generated create more lomdei Torah?
    Every frum family gets a daf Yomi calendar in the mail each year from Agudah Torah commission which is promptly thrown in the garbage, A cute Sukkos poster with a daf ship riding the waves sent to every frum home?
    More ads in the frum press & social media reminding us about how many days are left to the next mesechta?
    Do they hire maggidei shiur? I don’t think so.
    I don’t think the Agudah can increase Torah learning. This is the job of local rabbonim & rebbeim, not a national organization.
    Before we know it, In 5 & 1/2 years this nonstop promotion machine will start all over again promoting the next siyum hashas. (before that we’ll experience a 2 year promotion from the Vaad Hashmitta)
    I think Agudas Yisroel is a vital organization for the Klal but that the purity, innocence & inspiration of the Siyum is being compromised by all this hype & commercialization.

    Haimy
    Participant

    Another News site? Like there are so many kosher sites to choose from. Daily reports of terrible tragedies often accompanied by graphic photos like a totaled car or face of a bachur that fell to his death R”L, photo of a disfigured child, is horrible & unnatural. It creates feelings of anxiety, numbness, leaves us with questions about Hashem’s kindness, & leaves us feeling insecure. I’m sure tragedies always existed throughout our golus but we didn’t know of most of them. Not a day goes by where I don’t read about another appalling & sickening story on YWN, I think this needs to be more balanced. Studies show that initially people actually feel good reading about other people’s troubles because they feel grateful they were spared the tzaros, but this is not a healthy thing over time. Unless you work for Misaskim, you’re not mentally trained to deal with non-stop tragedy.
    I thank the moderators for allowing this topic to be posted (after a 36-hour review) though it’s critical about your reporting.

    Haimy
    Participant

    There is no way to prove a review is illegitimate on Amazon, Amazon always sides with the customer over the seller. Leaving fraudulent reviews is illegal on Amazon but there are ways to game the system. My point is that those who are gaming the system are also (possibly unknowingly) damaging the Parnassah of other Yidden. I hope people take this issue more seriously now that I’ve made this public.

    Haimy
    Participant

    The snacks are not actually treif, it does not have a hechsher & no frum Yid would eat it. Otherwise, there would be a serious halachic question if it can be sold.

    in reply to: Internet: The biggest source of brocha in the last generations. #1785195
    Haimy
    Participant

    If we’d turn back the economic clock 30 years & have 20,000 kollel graduates with 5-10 children & minimal secular education looking for a job we’d be in big trouble. Hashem created this tzinor as a yeshuah for the Chareidi tzibbur. So many former yungeleit are making a respectable parnossah using technology & internet we should make a brocha thanking Hashem for this nes. No one is benefiting more from the internet then the Olom Hachareidi.

    in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1783029
    Haimy
    Participant

    Even $200 for the one time use of a gown is difficult for many frum families. Should an average frum family with four females need to spend $800 on one night because a sister or niece is getting married? Not to mention the time waisted choosing a gown, altering it, & getting it cleaned.

    in reply to: Your 21 year old son may be ready for marriage #1781733
    Haimy
    Participant

    The Brisker Rov was 16 by his engagement. Chazal have harsh words for someone unmarried by age 21. A successful magid shiur told me that it’s not talked about but mechanchim are aware of the difficulty litvishe bochrim face due to the delayed opportunity to get married. It’s a win win for both boys & girls to begin marriage closer to 20 when a boy is mature enough.

    in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1781079
    Haimy
    Participant

    It would be a tremendous accomplishment if a balabatish shul would get everyone on board to do away with the gown mishugas. Once the trend is started many more people would be happy to put an end to this foolishness. It would save the frum community millions each year.

    in reply to: Gehenim!🔥 #1778692
    Haimy
    Participant

    The Ramban in his introduction to Iyov tell us that one moment in Gehinom is more painful than all the tzoros of Iyov (quoted by the Chafetz Chaim in one of his seforim).

    R’ Levy Yitzchak of berditzev is purported to have said that he’s not afraid of Gehinom because if if it’s rotzon Hashem for him to be there then there’s no better Gan Eden he could experience than fulfilling Hashem’s rotzon.

    in reply to: Learning From the Recent Drowning Tragedies #1778113
    Haimy
    Participant

    Only Hashem knows why these tragedies happened. At the very least, if you’re running a camp or taking your children on an outing learn from these sad stories to be more careful. If putting your own life in danger doesn’t concern you because you have special heavenly protection, don’t endanger others. Don’t make your children or someone else’s child the korbon to be meorer Klal Yisroel to teshuva.
    By the way, the pool situation in Lakewood is horrendous. Pools with no dedicated gate around them is a tremendous sakanah. My neighbor got rid of his after his young son nearly died from entering the pool on his own. Why do we need to get to a near tragedy for people to act responsibly? Why do young innocent children need to be korbonos of negligence? Are we meant to rely on Nisssim?

    in reply to: Learning From the Recent Drowning Tragedies #1777586
    Haimy
    Participant

    Rav Avigdor Miller said once we shouldn’t blame Hashem for tragedies caused by our own negligence. Of course everything comes from Hashem but we are meorer Midas hadin when we put ourselves in harm’s Way. We need a major education campaign among Chareidi yidden about outdoor safety. This galus is bitter enough let’s not make it worse by being negligent. My son’s daycamp went on a trip in a 15 passenger van & the driver was clocking 100 miles per hour, he could have easily flipped & killed a few kids. We need education & accountability to stop these non stop tragedies. Let’s do teshuva on vinishmartem meod lenafshoseichem.

    in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1775173
    Haimy
    Participant

    Unless some sort of rabbinic directive is given it will be too embarrassing for people to stop getting gowns. It’s become too much of a given at every chasunah.

    in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1774784
    Haimy
    Participant

    When I say Takanah I don’t mean forcing anyone how to act. I mean a communal recommendation to stop this unnecessary expense. Thousands of dollars are spent collectively each Chasunah on one time use gowns, do we really need it?

    in reply to: MUSIC BY YIDDEN #1753399
    Haimy
    Participant

    I thought you would ask why are yidin copying non Jewish music & calling it jewish aren’t we Ehrlich? Much of today’s chareidi music are borrowed pieces of non Jewish techno beats. Some of it are direct copies of non Jewish songs. What happened to us? I saw a music video of a Chusid dancing like an African American to heavy disco, what does this mean?
    I’ll need to start a new thread for this question.

    Haimy
    Participant

    Girls have a mitzvah to marry in order to enable boys to be mekayem their mitzva (Ran in Keddushin). The Rambam also states that mederabonon a women should not remain single in order to avoid chashad. There’s no question that al pi hashkofas Torah a women was created to be an Eizer kinegdo & bring children to the world. The fact that tragically this doesn’t always work out doesn’t change the way we should raise our children. We should instead try to solve the problem we are facing.

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