Forum Replies Created
May 24, 2020 8:45 pm at 8:45 pm in reply to: Lakewood Yeshivos closed because of Murphy not Corona. #1864226
We may never know if we are ready to reopen, does that mean we sacrifice our children’s mental & spiritual health & remain closed indefinitely? Absolutely not. Governor Murphy isn’t the poseik for Klal Yisroel & neither are frum doctors. I can assure you that if not for the non Jewish government stopping us the Yeshivos would be open with safe social distancing. We are in a deep galus right now when our Yeshivos are closed by government decree & we have no way to properly teach Torah to our children. The Governers timeline to reopen is not the halachic timeline.May 11, 2020 3:44 pm at 3:44 pm in reply to: Dr. Scott Atlas of Stanford: Confining Young People to Makes No Sense. #1859623
I quoted a prestigious doctor stating that more people will die if we keep young people in isolation than if we allow them to come out & be productive. He is obviously going anti-establishment who believes everyone should be under lockdown. Think for yourself about what makes more sense. Those that feel comfortable thinking out of the box will likely agree with him. Those that are normally very trusting of doctors & politicians or are very frightened about Covid19 will likely disagree. There’s no clear answer either way. All we know for a certainty is that every day we prolong this state of isolation more people’s general health, livelihoods, education, illness diagnoses & treatment, & mental health is being lost. This we know for sure, al pi derech hateva R”L. May Hashem have rachmonus on us.May 11, 2020 10:19 am at 10:19 am in reply to: Dr. Scott Atlas of Stanford: Confining Young People to Makes No Sense. #1859495
The only sensible statement you’ve made is that ” Right now they don’t know the full extent of the Virus called Covid19″ I agree with that 100%, we simply don’t know. What we do know is that if we don’t allow those with almost any risks come out of isolation it will ruin the livelihood, education, mental health, relationships, of many many people. Don’t choose a “known” disaster over an “unknown” unlikely disaster.May 11, 2020 12:11 am at 12:11 am in reply to: Dr. Scott Atlas of Stanford: Confining Young People to Makes No Sense. #1859367
Think of the risk of millions of people losing their livelihood, millions of children missing their education, millions of people going undiagnosed with serious illnesses because of the shutdown. Will all this not ruin many lives? Hashem put us in a world that requires our active engagement for humanity to survive & thrive in. Let’s at least allow those with the lowest risk factors to reenter the world & be productive again. Many people will Ch”V suffer nervous breakdowns if we keep them quarantined much longer. Parents of young children are wondering how they’ll buy food & pay their mortgage next month. It’s time to allow the least vulnerable to reengage with life.May 4, 2020 4:05 pm at 4:05 pm in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1856866
The Rabbonim in Lakewood have permitted Davening with a minyon metzumzum & learning with a chavrusa 6 feet apart from each other. Our Children are missing a tremendous amount of learning because the schools are closed. I propose that we arrange 1 Rebbi for every 9 children with 6 feet between them & preferably outdoors. This is legal & safe & would be a big improvement over the current telephone system. Yeshivos should hire substitutes to teach & also fill in for older rebbeim who should remain in isolation.April 30, 2020 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm in reply to: Did KJ have less Covid Deaths Thanks to Dr. Zelenko? #1855559
I’m not coming with an agenda, I honestly would like to know if KJ had proportionally fewer deaths per the population & how widespread Dr. Zelenkow’s protocol was used. This is especially significant since social isolation seems to be observed to a lesser degree in the Satmar Kehillos than in other communities. As widely reported on YWN. Less social distancing & a lower death rate should be an indicator that his treatment is working if it’s being commonly used in KJ.April 30, 2020 11:26 am at 11:26 am in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1855298
We don’t know the answer today & we won’t know it a month from now if we don’t begin easing the restrictions & see if the infection rate remains low. How long should we continue like this “Because we don’t know?”. Let’s start with some really meaningful steps like allowing most small businesses to reopen with strict guidelines like open windows, facemasks, & only a few people under 55 to enter. Otherwise, we’ll be left with this question forever.April 28, 2020 1:35 pm at 1:35 pm in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1854426
Syag: How much longer do we assume people are carriers after being quarantined to 2 months with the same group of people?April 28, 2020 10:54 am at 10:54 am in reply to: Time to cautiously reopen schools, Shuls, & most Businesses. #1854302
How does extreme social distancing help us in the long run? will this virus just decide to leave if everyone stays home? This is only delaying the eventual spread of Covidto everyone Ch”V. The overwhelming majority of those who sadly died were the elderly & immunocompromised. They should definitely continue to self-quarantine.
The rest of society needs to move on, especially those under 45. My humble opinion.
This is something that should be considered. Maybe not a total cancellation, but a reduced vacation of 2 weeks would be fine. Yeshivos shouldn’t be pressured by the announcements from camps of their intention to open this summer.April 21, 2020 2:39 pm at 2:39 pm in reply to: Inspiring safe & legal Porch minyanim all over Lakewood #1851381
I’d like to quote the words of an aino Yehudi as he posted his experience on Patch dot com.
“Robert Margulski, Neighbor
On Saturday, April 18th, not being Jewish, I attended a local service with about 10 other Jewish gentlemen. 10? Plus me? The local Rabbi had a table altar outside his home. Just him, 1. Some across the street, some down the block. ALL were 30 feet or more from each other. I sat on my porch and, with all the praying around me, it felt like I was in a House of God. The Peace of our Lord was all around me. It was beautiful.”
If we follow the law & act safely than our porch minyonim are a Kiddush Hashem!
The facts are that a certain percentage of healthcare workers are not treating frum Yidden properly which is leading to more deaths & sickness (See the letter by Rav Shlomo Miller Shlita). Precisely because healthcare workers are overstrained & facing the risk of catching ill they are more susceptible to believe the reporting in the mass media that ultra-orthodox Jews aren’t practicing social isolation & thereby putting everyone else at risk. A nurse in Kimball hospital in Lakewood told a female patient as she was intubating her “You’re probably not coming out of here alive”. When people are stressed out, their darker sides often emerge & we need to be prepared to deal with this. This is actually the reason why the Poskim of Lakewood have forbidden all minyonim, even on porches. The frum patients are being mistreated in the hospitals because of the foolish behavior of some in the frum community. Holding people responsible for their behavior is sometimes the only way to get them to overcome their biases against us. I can see a place for this kind of askonus. I also realize that it may antagonize things more. This is a hard call.
The CDC’s recommendation:
Get Ready for COVID-19 Now
Have supplies on hand
Contact your healthcare provider to ask about obtaining extra necessary medications to have on hand in case there is an outbreak of COVID-19 in your community and you need to stay home for a prolonged period of time.
If you cannot get extra medications, consider using mail-order for medications.
Be sure you have over-the-counter medicines and medical supplies (tissues, etc.) to treat fever and other symptoms. Most people will be able to recover from COVID-19 at home.
Have enough household items and groceries on hand so that you will be prepared to stay at home for a period of time.
Take everyday precautions
Avoid close contact with people who are sick
Take everyday preventive actions
Clean your hands often
Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially after blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing, or having been in a public place.
If soap and water are not available, use a hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol.
To the extent possible, avoid touching high-touch surfaces in public places – elevator buttons, door handles, handrails, handshaking with people, etc. Use a tissue or your sleeve to cover your hand or finger if you must touch something.
Wash your hands after touching surfaces in public places.
Avoid touching your face, nose, eyes, etc.
Clean and disinfect your home to remove germs: practice routine cleaning of frequently touched surfaces (for example: tables, doorknobs, light switches, handles, desks, toilets, faucets, sinks & cell phones)
Avoid crowds, especially in poorly ventilated spaces. Your risk of exposure to respiratory viruses like COVID-19 may increase in crowded, closed-in settings with little air circulation if there are people in the crowd who are sick.
Avoid all non-essential travel including plane trips, and especially avoid embarking on cruise ships.
If COVID-19 is spreading in your community, take extra measures to put distance between yourself and other people to further reduce your risk of being exposed to this new virus.
Stay home as much as possible.
Consider ways of getting food brought to your house through family, social, or commercial networks
Have a plan for if you get sick:
Consult with your health care provider for more information about monitoring your health for symptoms suggestive of COVID-19.March 11, 2020 2:39 am at 2:39 am in reply to: Only 3 days left to vote in WZO, hold your nose & do it. #1839090
I’m not here to tell anyone which Gadol to follow. I saw a video of Rav Shmuel Fuerst of Chicago (Who a talmid of Rav Shmuel Kaminetzky) stating that Rav Shmuel strongly encourages that we vote & that Rav Gershon said that Rav Shmuel is the final deiah in America. The political situation in E.Y is quite dangerous right now for the Chareidi tzibbur. My point is that there are enough senior manhigei yisroel like Rav Elya Brudny, Rav Shmuel, Rav Asher Weiss, supporting this that a sincerely Frum Yid can proudly take a stand & vote. My hope is that only good comes out of this campaign & that eventually even those opposed to voting will later agree it was right in hindsight. There’s only one day left to vote, please make up your mind either way & decide before it’s too late. Sitting back & doing nothing because your unsure who to follow while the yishuv is in a sakonah is not a responsible response. Ask you Rav or RH”Y & do what’s right for you.March 10, 2020 2:13 am at 2:13 am in reply to: Only 3 days left to vote in WZO, hold your nose & do it. #1838875
Imagine those 50 slots become occupied by anti religious reform candidates (probably non Jews)& Jstreet. Aren’t we better off keeping them out? Don’t let perfect ruin the good.
I Actually requested YWN to remove this post after It went live because I realized that there are people that can feel hurt by my mentioning specific disorders. I ask mechilah of any person I may have hurt & request of YWN to either remove this post entirely or at least remove the sentence mentioning specific diagnoses. I acknowledge that there certainly are individuals who suffer from these & other disorders & who still maintain a stable home. My intention was about severely disabling situations.
I also know of people whose lives were ruined because they unknowingly entered a marriage with a mentally dysfunctional spouse & no one cared to warn them about it before.
At the divorce proceedings of one young woman (who nebach hasn’t remarried now 10 years later) the boy’s Rosh Hayeshiva berated her for rejecting his beloved dysfunctional talmid. This tragedy could have been avoided in my humble opinion if the right research had been done before the marriage.
Forget about trusting the references listed on a resume, they are the least reliable source of information. Use the references to find other unbiased people who will give you a true picture of the person. Roommates can provide invaluable information since they see the day to day interpersonal behavior of the person. I always ask the following question: Would you be comfortable with this person marrying a close relative of yours? the tone of the answer is very revealing. People aren’t offering bad information outright, we want to be positive about other Yidden & don’t want to hurt them. You need to ask the right questions to protect yourself.February 7, 2020 12:50 am at 12:50 am in reply to: Issuing calls for Tehillim when it’s (almost) too late. #1829707
Rav Boruch Sorotzkin was one of the gedolei Hador & it’s possible you said Tehillim because every moment an Odom Gadol is with us is meigin & mekayem the world. In addition, Hashem is noheig lemaalah miderech hateva with tzadikim muflogim. I concede that in special situations we daven despite the odds. It’s when this kind of call is happening on a regular basis here on YWN that I think requires a Sheaylas Rav. Is it correct to ask the tzibbur to begin davening for someone who is just barely alive with no medical way to recover. I can tell you that this is demoralizing, especially to young people.February 5, 2020 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm in reply to: Issuing calls for Tehillim when it’s (almost) too late. #1829214
I don’t know if we can bring a rayah from a personal story with Rav Moshe. It’s very possible that Rav Shlomo Zalmen davened privately for a refuah. His opinion was that public calls for tefilah when there is no possible derech hateva way to recover is not right because it weaken peoples emunah in the koach of tefilah. I can tell you that every time YWN issues a call for tefilah I sadly assume that this is a last minute thing & the person is more on the olom Haemes than on this world. Usually within 48 hours they are announcing the petirah R”L. I think this deserves a shealas rav whether this is appropriate. I know that there are people who feel discouraged from davening after seeing that it’s not working time & again.
Gadol Hatorah: Obviously if it’s against halacha then it would very possibly make no difference which zipcode it came from. The fact is that halacha is not so clear in this situation. I’m suggesting (being an Amazon seller myself) that before you take advantage of Amazon’s liberal return policy, you consider the fact that you may very well be hurting another frum Yid. And Yes Mr. Gadol, I consider treating a fellow Yid as family & not as any other fellow citizen, & therefore have more of a reason to go beyond the letter of the law.
Unless its from a Chinese sounding company it may very well be a Frum Yid that sold you the item. Many of the American based sellers are from Brooklyn & Lakewood.January 22, 2020 4:07 pm at 4:07 pm in reply to: Are public displays of Frum support of Trump a safe thing? #1825256
We are supposed to keep a low profile in galus & not instigate A.Y., public support of President Trump instigates the minority communities against us. They will one day be the majority & turn this America into a third world socialist country. We need to think ahead.November 16, 2019 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm in reply to: $5,000.000 donated to Trump by Orthodox Jews, can we afford it? #1801261
We have a situation today where very wealthy frum Yidden develop pet projects where they invest millions of dollars in. These are icing on the cake endeavors that make a lot of buzz but are of negligeable benefit to the Torah community at large.
This is while critical needs of the klal like building new schools, supporting lomdei Torah respectably, lowering the costs of chasunahs, tutoring & mentoring programs, making post kollel job training affordable, etc. are falling behind.
This is an issue of bein Odom Lechavriro.
Chazal tell us that the people blessed with unusual wealth are Gisborim, caretakers for the Ribono Shel Olom to help out his children. Rav Ahron Leib Shteynman would obligate Gevirim to give up to 50% of their earnings to Tzedaka. Rav Moshe mentions this several time in Dorash Moshe That that really all the money in the world should be shared equally by society, Hashem decided to give it in an unequal way in order to be mezakeh the Ashirim in Tzedaka vochesed. He says thaey should look at themselves as mere trustees of the Klal.
It’s very possible that this overwhelming support of Trump puts us at risk of intimidating the many people who hate Trump in the local tristate area. Maybe it’s np coincidence that B&H was handed a law suit just a few days later.
Redifas Hakovod & lack of rabbinical guidance leads gevirim to foolishly squander their money when they can create so much good with it.
By society asking questions we can hopefully encourage the trustees of the Klall to put the funds to the most important needs we have.November 13, 2019 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm in reply to: After millions spent on promotion why are 30% of seats unsold? #1800466
The reason why tickets to professional sports games are expensive is that A) they are for-profit organizations, B) they pay their players millions of dollars. This has no relevance to the Siyum.
When we monetize an event it’s organized & promoted much differently than when it’s done Lishmah. The Siyum in the past had no monetary objective, it was done kulo lesheim shamayim. If we have no choice but to make it a grand fundraiser then fine go ahead,but at least realize that we’ve lost one last piece of the past.November 13, 2019 12:20 am at 12:20 am in reply to: After millions spent on promotion why are 30% of seats unsold? #1800089
The Siyum website clearly states that the reason for the many high priced seats is to ” Support further limud Hatorah after the siyum through theeir “Ki heim Chayeinu initiatives” Clearly not to cover the cost of the venue & not for their shtadlonus.
My humble opinion is that the way to support further limud Hatorah is to allow more middle-class Yidden attend & from that chizuk they will hopefully be inspired to learn more.( I personally don’t believe the Agudah will have much success from spending money in the future directly on limud Hatorah.) “As Chazal tell us M’bnei Aniyyim Teitzei Torah” Let the Anniyim feel good by being part of it.
Add in the cost of transportation roundtrip to the Siyum & you have a hefty bill.
I in no way mean to bash the Agudas Yisroel or their leadership, they are a critical organization for the success of the Torah world & are led by Gedolei Yisroel.
He’s back in town as advertised on YWN. If you consulted with him & have information that would be letoeles hazibbur then please share your experience. It may save a Yid from tremendous aggravation or possibly lead to a yeshuah. If a person is let down by someone who claims to be a rabbi it can cause them to lose all faith in our chachomim since they don’t know the difference between the real to the fake. (I know nothing about him but I am extremely skeptical about miracle workers looking for money)
OK, the sacredness of the Siyum Hashas needs to be sacrificed in order to raise funds to spread more daf yomi among Klal Yisroel. I don’t know of any gadol or Rosh Hayeshiva who actually urges his talmidimg to join Daf Yomi anymore. Todays hectic work cycle makes it very difficult for a Yeshiva graduate to have a sipuk from daf yomi unless it’s done through Dirshu with it’s strong Chazarah & testing program.
How exactly will the funds generated create more lomdei Torah?
Every frum family gets a daf Yomi calendar in the mail each year from Agudah Torah commission which is promptly thrown in the garbage, A cute Sukkos poster with a daf ship riding the waves sent to every frum home?
More ads in the frum press & social media reminding us about how many days are left to the next mesechta?
Do they hire maggidei shiur? I don’t think so.
I don’t think the Agudah can increase Torah learning. This is the job of local rabbonim & rebbeim, not a national organization.
Before we know it, In 5 & 1/2 years this nonstop promotion machine will start all over again promoting the next siyum hashas. (before that we’ll experience a 2 year promotion from the Vaad Hashmitta)
I think Agudas Yisroel is a vital organization for the Klal but that the purity, innocence & inspiration of the Siyum is being compromised by all this hype & commercialization.November 1, 2019 8:43 am at 8:43 am in reply to: Spreading sad news is foolish according to Chazal, YWN should be more positive. #1796437
Another News site? Like there are so many kosher sites to choose from. Daily reports of terrible tragedies often accompanied by graphic photos like a totaled car or face of a bachur that fell to his death R”L, photo of a disfigured child, is horrible & unnatural. It creates feelings of anxiety, numbness, leaves us with questions about Hashem’s kindness, & leaves us feeling insecure. I’m sure tragedies always existed throughout our golus but we didn’t know of most of them. Not a day goes by where I don’t read about another appalling & sickening story on YWN, I think this needs to be more balanced. Studies show that initially people actually feel good reading about other people’s troubles because they feel grateful they were spared the tzaros, but this is not a healthy thing over time. Unless you work for Misaskim, you’re not mentally trained to deal with non-stop tragedy.
I thank the moderators for allowing this topic to be posted (after a 36-hour review) though it’s critical about your reporting.October 6, 2019 11:22 pm at 11:22 pm in reply to: Don’t harm a fellow Yid selling on Amazon, even if it helps you sell more. #1791673
There is no way to prove a review is illegitimate on Amazon, Amazon always sides with the customer over the seller. Leaving fraudulent reviews is illegal on Amazon but there are ways to game the system. My point is that those who are gaming the system are also (possibly unknowingly) damaging the Parnassah of other Yidden. I hope people take this issue more seriously now that I’ve made this public.October 6, 2019 11:00 pm at 11:00 pm in reply to: Don’t harm a fellow Yid selling on Amazon, even if it helps you sell more. #1791671
The snacks are not actually treif, it does not have a hechsher & no frum Yid would eat it. Otherwise, there would be a serious halachic question if it can be sold.September 9, 2019 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm in reply to: Internet: The biggest source of brocha in the last generations. #1785195
If we’d turn back the economic clock 30 years & have 20,000 kollel graduates with 5-10 children & minimal secular education looking for a job we’d be in big trouble. Hashem created this tzinor as a yeshuah for the Chareidi tzibbur. So many former yungeleit are making a respectable parnossah using technology & internet we should make a brocha thanking Hashem for this nes. No one is benefiting more from the internet then the Olom Hachareidi.September 2, 2019 7:26 pm at 7:26 pm in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1783029
Even $200 for the one time use of a gown is difficult for many frum families. Should an average frum family with four females need to spend $800 on one night because a sister or niece is getting married? Not to mention the time waisted choosing a gown, altering it, & getting it cleaned.
The Brisker Rov was 16 by his engagement. Chazal have harsh words for someone unmarried by age 21. A successful magid shiur told me that it’s not talked about but mechanchim are aware of the difficulty litvishe bochrim face due to the delayed opportunity to get married. It’s a win win for both boys & girls to begin marriage closer to 20 when a boy is mature enough.August 28, 2019 11:59 pm at 11:59 pm in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1781079
It would be a tremendous accomplishment if a balabatish shul would get everyone on board to do away with the gown mishugas. Once the trend is started many more people would be happy to put an end to this foolishness. It would save the frum community millions each year.
The Ramban in his introduction to Iyov tell us that one moment in Gehinom is more painful than all the tzoros of Iyov (quoted by the Chafetz Chaim in one of his seforim).
R’ Levy Yitzchak of berditzev is purported to have said that he’s not afraid of Gehinom because if if it’s rotzon Hashem for him to be there then there’s no better Gan Eden he could experience than fulfilling Hashem’s rotzon.
Only Hashem knows why these tragedies happened. At the very least, if you’re running a camp or taking your children on an outing learn from these sad stories to be more careful. If putting your own life in danger doesn’t concern you because you have special heavenly protection, don’t endanger others. Don’t make your children or someone else’s child the korbon to be meorer Klal Yisroel to teshuva.
By the way, the pool situation in Lakewood is horrendous. Pools with no dedicated gate around them is a tremendous sakanah. My neighbor got rid of his after his young son nearly died from entering the pool on his own. Why do we need to get to a near tragedy for people to act responsibly? Why do young innocent children need to be korbonos of negligence? Are we meant to rely on Nisssim?
Rav Avigdor Miller said once we shouldn’t blame Hashem for tragedies caused by our own negligence. Of course everything comes from Hashem but we are meorer Midas hadin when we put ourselves in harm’s Way. We need a major education campaign among Chareidi yidden about outdoor safety. This galus is bitter enough let’s not make it worse by being negligent. My son’s daycamp went on a trip in a 15 passenger van & the driver was clocking 100 miles per hour, he could have easily flipped & killed a few kids. We need education & accountability to stop these non stop tragedies. Let’s do teshuva on vinishmartem meod lenafshoseichem.August 15, 2019 12:40 am at 12:40 am in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1775173
Unless some sort of rabbinic directive is given it will be too embarrassing for people to stop getting gowns. It’s become too much of a given at every chasunah.August 14, 2019 1:04 pm at 1:04 pm in reply to: Should Wedding gowns for the extended family be discontinued? #1774784
When I say Takanah I don’t mean forcing anyone how to act. I mean a communal recommendation to stop this unnecessary expense. Thousands of dollars are spent collectively each Chasunah on one time use gowns, do we really need it?
I thought you would ask why are yidin copying non Jewish music & calling it jewish aren’t we Ehrlich? Much of today’s chareidi music are borrowed pieces of non Jewish techno beats. Some of it are direct copies of non Jewish songs. What happened to us? I saw a music video of a Chusid dancing like an African American to heavy disco, what does this mean?
I’ll need to start a new thread for this question.June 30, 2019 11:52 pm at 11:52 pm in reply to: Is preparing all girls for marriage contributing to the Shidduch Crisis? #1749739
Girls have a mitzvah to marry in order to enable boys to be mekayem their mitzva (Ran in Keddushin). The Rambam also states that mederabonon a women should not remain single in order to avoid chashad. There’s no question that al pi hashkofas Torah a women was created to be an Eizer kinegdo & bring children to the world. The fact that tragically this doesn’t always work out doesn’t change the way we should raise our children. We should instead try to solve the problem we are facing.May 15, 2019 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm in reply to: How did Chabad change from being Anti Zionist to Pro #1727493
This is on Wikipedia: Chabad Zionism
Chabad Yeshiva students have been joining the IDF in record numbers. There are Chabad synagogues that celebrate Yom Ha’atzmaut.
Chabad Rabbi Shimon Rosenberg spoke at Yom Hazikaron Ceremony in Jerusalem in 2011. He also lit one of the torches at the Zionist state ceremony commemorating Israel Independence Day on behalf of his grandson, Chabad Rabbi Moshe Hotzberg.
Chabad Rabbi Sholom Lipskar celebrated Jerusalem Day at Yeshiva Mercaz HaRav in Jerusalem, the most prominent yeshiva in the Religious Zionist world.
In 2011, Rabbi Menachem Brod of Kfar Chabad, who is a spokesman for Chabad, says the group is Zionist in its support for Israel. He stated: “When the average Israeli citizen says ‘Zionism’, he is referring to love of the land, strengthening the state, and being close to the nation and the land, to military service. If all this is Zionism, then Chabad is super Zionist!”
This does not seem in line with the Shita of the Rashab.April 30, 2019 8:06 pm at 8:06 pm in reply to: Why do we seclude ourselves from the world around us? #1721256
We are following the Halacha stated in the Rambam hilchos deos Chapter 6:
It is natural for a man’s character and actions to be influenced by his friends and associates and for him to follow the local norms of behavior. Therefore, he should associate with the righteous and be constantly in the company of the wise, so as to learn from their deeds. Conversely, he should keep away from the wicked who walk in darkness, so as not to learn from their deeds.
This is [implied by] Solomon’s statement (Proverbs 13:20): “He who walks with the wise will become wise, while one who associates with fools will suffer.” Similarly, [Psalms 1:1] states: “Happy is the man who has not followed the advice of the wicked.”
A person who lives in a place where the norms of behavior are evil and the inhabitants do not follow the straight path should move to a place where the people are righteous and follow the ways of the good.
If all the places with which he is familiar and of which he hears reports follow improper paths, as in our times, or if he is unable to move to a place where the patterns of behavior are proper, because of [the presence of] bands of raiding troops, or for health reasons, he should remain alone in seclusion as [Eichah 3:28] states: “Let him sit alone and be silent.”
If they are wicked and sinful and do not allow him to reside there unless he mingle with them and follow their evil behavior, he should go out to caves, thickets, and deserts [rather than] follow the paths of sinners as [Jeremiah 9:1] states: “Who will give me a lodging place for wayfarers, in the desert.”
We are living in a time where most of humanity does not believe in or follow the values of the Torah. We need to maintain a cultural distance from them if we are to remain loyal to Hashem & his Torah. Even if some individuals are able to to resist to assimilate with the masses around us, our community as a whole needs to isolate ourselves culturally if we wish to survive. The modern Orthodox community is a perfect example of frum Jews trying to take the honey of the secular world without being bitten by the snake of atheism that abounds. Many of their young people are leaving Yiddishkeit.
The Chassidim stress the idea of Simcha just for the fact that we were born a Yid. The Litvishe don’t stress this too much & rather place a big emphasis on personal achievement. My concern is that if we raise the bar of success too high for most people to reach we are lft with many people feeling unaccomplished. Every guy like me who once learned in Kollel & now works feels like a partial failure even though this is the normal way Hashem intended the world to run. I’m not knocking or endorsing either system but think we have what to learn from each other in this area. Success as a Yid can’t be limited to becoming Klei Kodesh or becoming an osher, every Yid can reach a high level of accomplishment regardless of his vocation.
I apologize for disappearing after posting this. I blocked the frum news sites from my phone because it was wasting too much of my time, so it’s harder for me to respond. I’m sure MO Jews get married with 100% commitment, but subconsciously, I don’t think they look at marriage as a one way door to the extent Chareidim do. MO Jews who are unhappily married hit the exit doors much sooner than A chareidi person would. My point is not to put down the natural need Hashem put into a man. Rather, that a combination of fear, a false fantasy being fed by the secular modeling industry, & near zero exposure to the feminine personality is creating this. I allow my daughter to invite her teenage friends over even when my boys are home because I want them to have some idea of how girls are, though I make sure they remain separate. I’m not proposing that boys & girls should mix Ch”v, just that we may need to do a better job educating our boys about how life is realistically.
What I do know is that we Chareidim are making a bigger deal out of externals (as well as money) than other groups. Perhaps one of the readers can enlighten me why this is.March 26, 2019 9:29 pm at 9:29 pm in reply to: Any kosher ideas for boys and girls to hang out together = solve shiduch crisis? #1702578
This idea assumes there’s not enough dating for boys as well as girls.
There is no shidduch crisis for boys, only for girls. Most boys have more than enough girls to date & they are getting married. It’s the girls who are not getting enough dates because there are more girls than boys of marriagable age.
Why would a serious boy hang out with random girls when he has a list of shidduchim waiting for him to go out on a date?
The non serious boys might love this idea, but I doubt it will bring the results we want.March 26, 2019 1:50 pm at 1:50 pm in reply to: Chabad? Most non religious Jews are not halachikly Jewish. #1701960
Chussid: The Chabad shliach can preach as much as he wants to the couple about the need for a get but by the time they’re ready for divorce they have long forgotten all his drashos.
50% of American marriages end up in divorce, why are they marrying these people of with kosher eidim & causing more mamzerim to be born later? It would be much better if they weren’t married al pi halacha.March 26, 2019 10:39 am at 10:39 am in reply to: Chabad? Most non religious Jews are not halachikly Jewish. #1701862
I an concerned about intermarriage which is why I joined Partners in Torah & after learning with a college boy for 3 years, he went on to Ohr Sameiach & joined a kollel. Both his parents were Jewish. But with an intermarriage rate of 80% & a high conversion rate among reform & conservative, we have a serious issue finding a halachikly Jewish person. Do we make public Chanukah parties knowing that 30% will be non Jews mingling with the Jews?
This problem is only getting worse & we would be foolish to think it doesn’t exist.
Another problem going on is that Chabad shluchim are officiating at weddings of non religious Jews who come as visitors to a resort. Later they get divorced without a Get, & remarry, causing mamzerim to be born. It would be much better if they hadn’t had a kosher wedding & wouldn’t have been married according to halacha. Then they wouldn’t need a get later.March 25, 2019 11:32 pm at 11:32 pm in reply to: Chabad? Most non religious Jews are not halachikly Jewish. #1701551
Even if a shliach won’t actually marry them off, the sad thing is that they’ve gotten to know each other through a rabbi who’s trying to do outreach!.
Another problem going on is with mohelim who specialize in doing brissim for freia people but don’t verify that the child is a Jew. The child assumes he’s Jewish since he had a rabbi do his bris so he goes & marries a Jewish girl. I asked one such Michel what he does about making a brocha on the milah, he said safek brochos lehakel, he doesn’t say the shem Hashem.
People who are involved in kiruv are true hero’s who save neshamos. It’s still important for the rest of us to ensure no harm comes out of the best intentions.March 25, 2019 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm in reply to: Chabad? Most non religious Jews are not halachikly Jewish. #1701518
There’s a large community of children of Jewish father’s with a non Jewish mother in the US. These people are highly insulted when people question their Jewishness. There are also many many reform & conservative converts in the US. Together, we have many non Jews who consider themselves to be Jewish. We need to be careful treating anyone who says their Jewish but doesn’t practice anything to be considered of Jewish ancestry.
I know I’m going against many people with a vested interest to shove this under the rug but this is a valid concern.March 25, 2019 1:13 pm at 1:13 pm in reply to: Chabad? Most non religious Jews are not halachikly Jewish. #1700822
Thank you Chossid for clarifying Chabad’ s protocol. I saw no mention of a screening process on the website to apply. I’m happy to learn that Chabad does screen every participant as you said.
I chose Chabad because they place tefillin on anyone who says their Jewish without asking about ancestry. I wondered how far they go with being inclusive to anyone who considers themselves a Jew.
I know that Partners in Torah asks all applicants if they were born to a Jewish mother.
As this golus continues it’s becoming more & more difficult to know who is a Torah obliged Jew. At some point, we shouldn’t be treating anyone who thinks their Jewish as a ben mitzvah. If we treat them like Jews, we are like encouraging them to go marry another Jew who may truly be Jewish.
Even if my numbers are off, we are certainly going in that direction rch”l.
This is a question for all kiruv organizations but especially for Chabad.