Haimy

I apologize for disappearing after posting this. I blocked the frum news sites from my phone because it was wasting too much of my time, so it’s harder for me to respond. I’m sure MO Jews get married with 100% commitment, but subconsciously, I don’t think they look at marriage as a one way door to the extent Chareidim do. MO Jews who are unhappily married hit the exit doors much sooner than A chareidi person would. My point is not to put down the natural need Hashem put into a man. Rather, that a combination of fear, a false fantasy being fed by the secular modeling industry, & near zero exposure to the feminine personality is creating this. I allow my daughter to invite her teenage friends over even when my boys are home because I want them to have some idea of how girls are, though I make sure they remain separate. I’m not proposing that boys & girls should mix Ch”v, just that we may need to do a better job educating our boys about how life is realistically.
What I do know is that we Chareidim are making a bigger deal out of externals (as well as money) than other groups. Perhaps one of the readers can enlighten me why this is.

Chussid: The Chabad shliach can preach as much as he wants to the couple about the need for a get but by the time they’re ready for divorce they have long forgotten all his drashos.
50% of American marriages end up in divorce, why are they marrying these people of with kosher eidim & causing more mamzerim to be born later? It would be much better if they weren’t married al pi halacha.

Even if a shliach won’t actually marry them off, the sad thing is that they’ve gotten to know each other through a rabbi who’s trying to do outreach!.
Another problem going on is with mohelim who specialize in doing brissim for freia people but don’t verify that the child is a Jew. The child assumes he’s Jewish since he had a rabbi do his bris so he goes & marries a Jewish girl. I asked one such Michel what he does about making a brocha on the milah, he said safek brochos lehakel, he doesn’t say the shem Hashem.
People who are involved in kiruv are true hero’s who save neshamos. It’s still important for the rest of us to ensure no harm comes out of the best intentions.

Thank you Chossid for clarifying Chabad’ s protocol. I saw no mention of a screening process on the website to apply. I’m happy to learn that Chabad does screen every participant as you said.
I chose Chabad because they place tefillin on anyone who says their Jewish without asking about ancestry. I wondered how far they go with being inclusive to anyone who considers themselves a Jew.
I know that Partners in Torah asks all applicants if they were born to a Jewish mother.
As this golus continues it’s becoming more & more difficult to know who is a Torah obliged Jew. At some point, we shouldn’t be treating anyone who thinks their Jewish as a ben mitzvah. If we treat them like Jews, we are like encouraging them to go marry another Jew who may truly be Jewish.
Even if my numbers are off, we are certainly going in that direction rch”l.
This is a question for all kiruv organizations but especially for Chabad.

I read the brochure inviting all Jewish teens to attend which didn’t mention anything about a Jewish mother. Even if 25% were non Jews is that ok? There are no formal studies about the percentage of secular Jews who are halachikly Jewish. There’s no question in many areas of the US the majority of Jews are not Yehudim. Should we be stopping random people on a public square & putting tefillin on them knowing that many are not Jewish?
I E ven when secular Jews marry each other, many of those they are marrying are actually non Jews who think they are Jewish. Should we be treating all cultural Jews as though they are halachikly Jewish?

My point is not to support high density but that we’re becoming overly reliant on it for financial survival. High density is harming our quality of life in numerous ways but for many people it’s been the source of their Parnassa. We are now married to the curse of high density housing in Lakewood.

When you build a new home in Lakewood you are required to dig a water catch basin underground for all the rainwater to collect. This is because non of the rain can collect & then evaporate. Imagine 100 homes densely built in a former piece of forest, all the water that would have remained on the trees or on the surface of the earth to evaporate is now flowing directly underground. Repeat this over & over again & the water table will rise. Surely the recent wet weather isn’t helpful which is even more of a reason for the township to consider this problem.

I’m specifically addressing underage drinkers who may impulsively drink alcohol despite the danger involved with mixing with meds. It’s up to us adults to be responsible & not offer them a possibly life threatening substance.

He will be playing the songs on his keyboard, I don’t believe there are any royalties the he would owe.

No it wouldn’t be ok, but KAL vechomer if they are attacking us physically.

For me the coffee room is a place to soundboard ideas, not social interaction. Some might call me a troll because I start a topic & then drop out. Even if such a forum is acceptable in our time we should at least be aware of the spiritual cost it has on us. I think a gender exclusive forum would be more popular with the general readership of ywn. From a readership of many thousands only a small percentage ever post. It doesn’t pas for people to jump into a mixed gender conversation.

The question is if by schmoozing with the opposite gender over here it dulls a person’s sensitivity to remain separate which then affects behavior offline too. You can’t completely separate the virtual world from the real world around you.
If your hocking with a female on ywn, what will stop you from hocking with someone at the office water cooler. You’ve gotten comfortable schmoozing with ladies in a virtual form.
The brain is a complex instrument that doesn’t always follow raw logic.

There are many more older single girls than boys. There are moremore typical single older girls than typical boys. The many older typical single girls are having hard time finding a spouse from the fewer typical older boys left.
Why are there so few typical older boys left? The rest of them married girls 2-4 years younger than them.

Stop blaming the awful media for president Trumps’s problems. If he would act more refined & dignified the media would not have such an easy time criticizing him. I believe his low poll numbers are directly connected to his constant lashing out at people. Even people who faithfully worked under his administration. The media is terrible but so is mr. Trumps habit of acting like a bully to whomever he feels threatened by. If we show respect to others, we will also be respected. Don’t ignore his personal flaws because you hate the democrats & the media.