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This idea assumes there’s not enough dating for boys as well as girls.
There is no shidduch crisis for boys, only for girls. Most boys have more than enough girls to date & they are getting married. It’s the girls who are not getting enough dates because there are more girls than boys of marriagable age.
Why would a serious boy hang out with random girls when he has a list of shidduchim waiting for him to go out on a date?
The non serious boys might love this idea, but I doubt it will bring the results we want.People often mixup psychological disturbance with spiritual failure. A person who walks around thinking that others think he’s a rasha is most likely suffering from depression, OCD, or paranoia. Really evil people generally think very highly of themselves & excuse their bad behavior. Please seek the help of a doctor who’s able to treat emotional pain. There’s no reason for you to walk around feeling so much pain Inside.
It seems that YWN believes that most of its readers would like to see photos of young attractive women on this site. This may be correct but is a michshol to the male readership. I wish there would be a truly Chareidi news site without the female photos but I’m not aware of one.
Chassidim are certainly makpid on the mitzva dioraisoh of Elias Shma bizmanah. It’s motzi shem ra to suggest otherwise. I have many chassidish relatives who be aghast at the suggestion that they aren’t makpid on this. Please do your homework. The nefesh hachaim was referring to a small group of people in his time. Inapplicable to the chassidim of our time. Of course there are amhaaratzim in every community that don’t know basic halacha but don’t insinuate that this is acceptable behavior.
How do the chassidim manage to keep their tuition manageable despite having large families & many lower income parents? Because every member of the chassidus takes responsibility for its mosdos. Even after their children have graduated & moved away.
We need every member of the community to share the burden of chinuch habonim not just the parents.
The current yeshiva model does not encourage the broader community to share the burden.
I don’t know of a solution other than lowering our lifestyle or increasing Parnassa opportunities.People will make the choices they believe is best for them. Unless you are part of a chassidus there is no way to institute a community wide takana. Very few boys are interested in being forced to go out twice if they are sure after 1 date it’s not for them. It may even be halachikly problematic.
Improving your appearance, personality, learning/Parnassa capabilities will make you a more sought after marriage partner.It’s a terrible thing that some people are unemployed. Let’s make a communal takana that no one can go to work until everyone finds a job. The job must earn at least $20 per hour.
Happy Trolling.The solution is simple, get a Panasonic phone that allows you to block a number with the push of a button. Most of these robo calls come from the same companies, I rarely get an annoying call anymore, they’ve all been blocked.
I highly recommend the book “The one minute masmid” by rabbi Jonathan Rietti. It describes a system of learning where even someone who feels discouraged about his learning can develop into a Talmid chacham. I know of others who felt a real chizuk in limud Hatorah after reading this very interesting book.
Don’t assume limud Hatorah is just not for you just because learning in yeshiva was difficult.Lehavdil bein Kodesh lechol. It’s part of levush Yisroel which differentiates us from the umos haolom. Dressing uniquely sends a message that we are different & are expected to act differently. It’s a hanhaga tovah especially at a time when we are becoming culturally affected by the society around us.
No respectable mekubal advertises his miraculous powers. Every month another charlatan comes to town trying to make a buck. Hashem doesn’t need these intermediaries to bring a yeshuah.
YWN should ban their ads.Every tool Hashem gives us can be abused including photos. I understood that the question was about the responsible use of a photo when looking into a shidduch.
Pictures only show a small amount of persons chein but they are still a useful piece of information.
Rav Matisyahu Solomon said a bachur should know that when he goes under the chuppa he takes along all his taavos with him. Being overly righteous while dating is a recipe for unhappiness later.
I don’t think it’s a chessed do date someone & then reject them for something that you would know in one glance at a photo.It all depends on the needs/values of the individual involved. If externals are high on the list then by all means pictures are useful. If not, then why limit your choices based on a photo.
David Lichtenstein posed this question to Rabbi Sorcher of Detroit & Rabbi Shafier of the Shmuz both endorsed the looking at a photo for shidduch purposes.The consensus among the poskim is that this din only applies to Adar sheini. Let’s be patient.
As I posted earlier, a person who goes in public without tzniusdig is a mazik es horabim. This is very different than someone struggling with a personal yetzer horah. I don’t live in the 5towns so it’s not my place to criticize them. Most are probably tinokes shenishbu. I this is a problem because whenever my relative from the 5towns comes for a simcha we cringe over how she will be dressed.
Tznius is not just a bein odom limokom obligation, it’s a bein odom lichaveiro obligation. A woman who dresses untzniusdig is a mazik es horabim. She is a walking michshol to every man than sees her. The Steipler called these people spiritual terrorists ruining the neshamos of those who see them. Many of these yidden are tinokes shenishbu who don’t understand how damaging their behavior is to others.
Does anyone know where Zohar Aghbashoff is today? He was very popular in the late 80’s & I haven’t heard about him since then.
Rav Avigdor Miller said you should remain loyal to the original store you used. He shtelled Tzu the story of Avraham Avinu who stayed at the same motel on his way back from Mitzrayim as the way there. This part of the midda of hakaras hatov & neemonus.
The following Rabbonim should be able to guide you. They have seen & heard the full gamut of human challenges.
Weinberger, Rabbi Moshe of Aish Kodesh in woodmere.
Rav Dovid Goldwasser
Rav Reuven Drucker of Highland Park
(Contact info removed)
We have a boys to girls ratio crisis which leads to many girls remaining single. The boys are doing great. They have long lists of girls to choose from & they can ask for as much support as they want for willing to marry someone.
Bitochon doesn’t apply to maasei nissim. We can’t expect Hashem to rain down 1000 boys from heaven to marry all the single girls over 30. We need to change the communal structure so that the boy/girl ratio is more even so we don’t end up with a bigger problem down the road.Suddenly once you’re married the crisis is over. 1-2000 girls over the age of thirty is a serious communal problem. They’re tired of “enjoying” their singlehood & would like to move on with their lives. Calling it a “Crisis ” is just a way to motivate people to try to ease the plight of these girls. If you have a better way to help the situation please tell us.
It’s an Es tzora for klall Yisroel when 1000’s of frum girls are remaining single.How about Toms River or Jackson? There’s no perfect place to live. Colored shirts are not a good enough reason to put your family through the difficulty of resettling somewhere else. The “pressure ” in Lakewood may be influencing you & your family in a positive way without you realizing. There guys just like you in Lakewood who figure out how to find a nice group. Wearing a white shirt is a small sacrifice for all that Lakewood offers.
I had such a style oven (from Israel but don’t remember the manufacturer) but sold it for the following reason. Lechatchila the matzot should not be touched once placed in the oven until the bottom is baked. In my oven, due to the position of the fire, part of the matzot would burn before the rest was baked . It would need to be moved before the complete bottom of the matza was baked.
It’s not worth the tremendous work involved to produce second rate matzos.The Chachmei Yisroel don’t need to provide anyone a written teshuva explaining their decisions. The Yishuv in E.Y. has long fought for it’s independence from the Zionist regime. Nachal Chareidi was a big chidush & never intended for a boy able to sit in yeshiva. There are many reasons why the chachmei yisroel want us out of the army, not only because of bittul torah. If you don’t respect their opinion then no written Teshuva will change your mind, if you respect their opinion then you don’t need a Teshuva.
First work on perfecting your Davening, your learning, your bein adom lechaveiro, & then we’ll aim for a pure hatzolah that doesn’t bill insurance for services it rightfully can bill for. Your mitzva is as chashuv whether insurance is billed or not. Let’s stop being OCD about this subject.
Thank you neville-chaimberlin, I couldn’t have said it better.