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Technically from a mathematical prospective if all girls would agree not to date until later, it would solve the crisis. But who can enforce that.
Also please note, Hashem created humans with an inclination to date and get married. If they delay they are transgressing on Ve
Loi Sosuru Achrai Einaichem. Because boys are transgressing on VeLoi So`Siru does someone want to force the girls to do the same?
Bashert is not mentioned in Halacha. On the contrary Shilchon Arach Paskens
1-) A person should close a Shidduch on Tisha Be`Av
2-)Writing is forbidden on Chol Hamoed. Yet one should do a Shidduch and write Tnoim on Chol Hamoed.
What happened to the Bashert theory?
Also Mr Halaivi did you decide your Shidduch at the well, or did you go on 7 dates until you got engaged. Stop the nonsense and face reality!
The Shidduch Crisis is unfortunately the greatest man made tragedy of our times. Boys and their parents that don`t listen to Shidduchim until 23, are the ones that are causing the crisis. This has been proven by actual statistical charts, that can be seen on the site Shidduchcrisis.com. The charts have been advertised in the Yated, Hamodia, Ami, FJJ, and others. As long as the boys want to go on with waiting till 23 there will be Korbomos. Stop the crisis by listening to Shidduchim at age 21.
The Rishus of Biden-Camel is obvious. The Reshoim will Be”H have a Mapola.
2500 years ago the Iranian regime and the people were afraid that Haman will do Rishus. Yiden were afraid from the (fake) news. Then Hashem exposed the Reshoim and they were hung in public.
In our times the Rishus of DemocRATS, will Be”H be exposed. The rigged election, the fake news of the media, and their fight against believing in Hashem.
Trump is the winner.
Charaidim all over the world are in Shidduchim by age 20-21. (Europe & Erets Yisroel by age 20. Followers of the Chazoin Ish, and Chasidim all over the world at age 18.) That is why they don`t have a crisis. This is a mon made tragedy, that will Be”H stop when boys will be in Shidduchim by age 21.
Hashem: Yes Hashem runs the world and his first command in the Torah is to get married. Halacha clearly states that he is Mechuyev to be in Shidduchim by age 20. See Even Ezer Sim. 1:3. Also see Saifer Nidchchai Yisroel from the Chofets Chaim. Perek 25.”Every day that a boy does not want to listen to Shidduchim after the age of 20, he is Oivar on the first Mitzva of the Torah.
Girls should start later: Who is going to enforce it. Since Reb Moshe Z”L there is no Poisek that the entire Yeshivish world listens to his P`Sak. Askonim went to the 2 biggest in Yerusholayim, and the 2 biggest in Bnai Brak. Rav Elyoshev, Rav Auerbach, Rav Shteinman,Z”L, and YLCH’T Reb Chaim Shlite. The all paskened boys must start younger. The recognize that the Age-Gap is the problem, and added a Lo Samod Al Dam Rayecho. Psak can be seen on Shiddichcrisis.com Daas Torah letter #3. Not that girls should start later. The boys that wait till 23, are the Balai Avaire.
ATTENTION YESHIVA BOYS AND THEIR PARENTS.
STOP CAUSING THE SHIDDUCH CRISIS AND LISTEN TO SHIDDUCHIM!!!
By boys delaying to listen to Shidduchim at age 21 they cause more than 10% per grade per year of the Bais Yakov girls to stay single R”L. In the entire Charadi world boys are in Shidduchim by age 21. Chasidim & followers of the Chazoin Ish are in Shidduchim at age 18. (In EY an 18 year old boy is already being trained to fight the Sonai Yisroel.)
Is it only the American Yeshivish (Shoitim) that are not ready till 23, or is it American Goyishkeit that allows them to transgress the Avairos Chamuros involved in delaying Shidduchim till whenever they feel like?
See Saifer Nidchai Yisroel par. #25, written by the Chofets Chaim. He states that every day that a boy refuses to listen to Shidduchim (past age 20) he is Mevatel a Mitzvas Asaih.
If u want to learn get married and learn Torah Be`Tohara. Kollel is a standard in our times.
LibbiMarch 16, 2020 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm in reply to: Are our mistakes (not regarding mitzvos/sins) from Hashem? #1840466
The Poiskim that signed are Rav Elyoshiv, Rav Auerbach, Rav Shteinman & YLch”Tvm Rav Kaniyevsky Shlita. They state that the Age-Gap is the cause of the Shidduch Crisis, and boys must start earlier because of Lo Samod Al Dam Reyecho.
The school graph that clearly shows this, was taken from the Lakewood schools. The chart is idiot proof.
All of above can be seen on Shidduchcrisis.comMarch 16, 2020 11:55 am at 11:55 am in reply to: Are our mistakes (not regarding mitzvos/sins) from Hashem? #1840366
The older singles in the American Yeshivish circles are not caused by Hashem. They are caused by boys and their parents that dont listen to Shidduchim until 23.March 16, 2020 11:41 am at 11:41 am in reply to: Are our mistakes (not regarding mitzvos/sins) from Hashem? #1840350
Its about time someone brings this topic up. As an Asken in stopping the Shidduch Crisis I have had many many Shoitim, saying that the Shidduch crisis is a Gezaire, its from Hashem, or my RY doesn`t hold from the Age-Gap.
B’H we already have actual school graphs that clearly show that the boys waiting till 23 are the cause of the crisis. We have true Gedoilin that Paskened that the Age-Gap is the problem. Yet there are boys and their parents that continue their careless idiocy of waiting around till 23. This is not from Hashem. This is not a Gezaire.
This is the continuous Avairedicke way of life. They don
t care about their own sister, niece, cousin, or another Yid. A man made tragedy. They cant blame Hashem. A Baal Bechira is doing this.
Our message is clear, to the 21 yr. old boys & their parents. Stop causing the Shidduch Crisis. Listen to ShiodduchimMarch 16, 2020 11:36 am at 11:36 am in reply to: Are our mistakes (not regarding mitzvos/sins) from Hashem? #1840351
Please redt Shidduchim to the 21 yr. old boys. Stop them from delaying till 23.
You got your religion mixed up!
When u have a chance to do a chesed for 5 people, u do it!
Why should Chavairim help u when u r stuck on the road. Should they also think that their Ruchnius is more important? They could b Shteiging and Shteiging in their Ruchnius. Obviously u don’t know the basics of Ve
Ohavto LeRayecho Komocho!
To BK613 DO NOT MISINTERPRET THE WORDS OF LIBBI!
Libbi does not claim that the RY are Shoitim. They know what they are doing. They cater to their clientele.
We want the boys and their parents to listen to Shidduchim, by age 21, when they finish American Yeshivas. All Bnai Torah, all over the world are in Shidduchim by age 21. Our famous quote “Is it only the American Yeshivish Shoitim that are not mature till 23, or is it American Goyishkeit that allows this?” If some boys think that this insulting, too bad!
When a Bachur is age 20, he is a Bar Onshin. A 23 yr. old Bachur and 3 of his boy friends that did not listen to Shidduchim before age 23, each one will be held collectively responsible, for the single that they caused. It may very well be their own sister, niece, or cousin. STOP CAUSING THE SHIDDUCH CRISIS! Listen to Shidduchim by age 21!
To BK613 I just noticed Are Roster answered Question # 1 and 2
3-) This is not insulting, it`s meant to prove a point.
4-)Whatever your other reasons are, its just adding salt to the wounds. The wounds are done by the boys and their parents that refuse to listen to Shidduchim younger.
Reb Yidd. An orthodox Yid decides according to Halacha.
A modern orthodox decides to get married whenever he wants. He ignores the Shulchan Aruch ,Even Ezer 1:3, Simen 23, (Tefilas Zakeh,), He ignores Saifer Nidchai Yisroel Simen 25 written by the Chofets Chaim.
Ignores Daas Torah of Gedoilai Haboskim,the Issur of Lo Samod Al Dam Rayecho.
Orthodox Yidden do decide based on all of the above.
To Rational Yankee Doodel
You have an opinion on the Holy Chazoin Ish??????????
Are you crazy????????????
To BK613 and the four Kashes
1-)The Yankee doodles are the ones that are using the Gedoilai Olom of Europe, and the want to Pasken that age for themselves. The Yankee Doodles cant compare themselves to them.
2-) Different culture: Yes there was once upon a time a different culture. An American Bachur learned and went to college until 23. Today the culture is learning, learning, and learning after the Chasuna. Most even skip High School. So get into the culture of getting married at 21,and learn,learn,learn. Why cause Agunas?
3-)The word Aguna means anchored.The 5th Tosfos in Kedushin 41A names a girl that fears she would stay because of financial reasons an Aguna. Insulting is pretty moderate if you compare it to Tchuvos Reb Akiva Eiger end of #126 that curses those wanting to be Me`Agen your sister, niece, cousin, or a Bas Yisroel.
4-) The numbers are real. Numbers dont Lie!
Stop living in denial!
All of the Gedoilim mentioned did have ALL the 3 reasons to delay. They all were: strongly immersed in learning, lived in poverty, and Ain Yitzroi Misgaber Olov. If a Shidduch that is a good match would have come up earlier they would have listened to it. BTW the last Valoszener Ry, the Netziv got engaged at 13.5, the Chofets Chaim at 18.
Do you think an American boy has all these qualifications???????
The only one that
s B"H still around is the Sar Hatorah Reb Chaim Shlite. He was listing from age 18. But a Tzugepaste Shidduch, Like Rav Elyosuvs daughter did not come up until 24.
American Yankee Doodels are no match to these Gedoilim. They have no wright to delay, (and cause Agunas).
Basics of the code of Jewish Law.
All Mishnes, Gemoras, and Rishonim are summeriozed in the Bais Yosef ,and then he wrote the Shulchan Aruch.
Shulchan Aruch Even Ezer 1:3 (Sinen Aleph Seif Gimel) Says a per son must get married from 18 to 20.
However if he is a-)Strongly immersed in learning, AND b-) Afraid to get married because he wont have food, AND c-)His Yaitzer is not Misgaber on him. There is no American Bachur that has all of these 3 conditions. No one can have the Chutspe to Pasken against this.
More recently Askonim proved that by boys waiting till 23 they are causing Agunas. By the time 800 boys become 23, 1000 girls became 19. This crime against Bnos Yisroel must be stopped! The Gedoilai Hapoiskim in Erets Yisroel Paskened boys must start earlier because of Lo Samos Al Dam Rayecho. See Shidduchcrisis.com Daas Torah Letter #3
(Mature; Is it only the American Yeshivish Shoitim that are not mature till 23, or is it American Goyishkeit that allows them to decide when to get married whenever they want?.)
If you have a daughter to marry off, its better to be Chasidish.
If you have a son to marry off its better to be Litvish.
All orthodox Yiden all over the world, in Erets Yisroel, & Europe are in Shidduchim @ 20. Chazon Ishnikes, & Chasidim are in Shidduchim @ age 18. Is it only the American Shoitim that are not mature till 23, or is it American Goyishkeit that seeped into the Yeshivish system that allows them to do Avairos till age 23?
Boys waiting till 23 are transgressing;
Velo Sosuru Ve`Achrai Ainaichem
Avairos mentioned in the begining of Tefilath ZakeH
Velo Samod Al dam Raiyecho as per Rav Shteinman, Rav Elyoshov, Rav Auerbach Zichroinom Licrocha
Of course he should enter Shidduchim if he is an Orthodox Yid.
The Pischai Tchuvos in Even Ezer is only related to getting married before 18. Since the Mechaber says that its better from the Bar Mitzva, the Pischai Tchuve says that in our days people are weaker and they should not consider Shidduchim from the Bar Mitzve. But Chas Ve`Sholom to say that the Pischai Tchuve allows the Goyishkeit of delaying till 23.
Chu VeNoshuvo El hashem, & start younger.
Lman Bnos Yisroel
How come all orthodox religious Jewish boys are in Shidduchim by 21. They don`t know of this Rabainu Yonah?
Its the American Goyishkiet, that ignores: Ve
Loi SoSuru, Kedusha & etc.
There is a certain Goyishkeit implanted in American people that a boy is not mature until he is 23. When Chazal say & Halacha Paskens that a Bachur should get married younger, it means that he is mature at a much younger age. He does not have to be a Ben Arboim Le`Binah to get married.
Also now that surveys show, that by the time a 800 boys become 23, 1000 girls become 19, why would someone take part in causing girls to stay single. It borders on Achzorius to their own daughter, niece, cousin or other girls. The Gedoilim in EY Paskened there is a Lo Sa
Amod Al Dam RayEcho on boys delaying Shidduchim.
Bashert is not Halacha Le
Maise. Proof; 1-) "Do a Shidduch on Tishe BeAv”. Why not wait 12 hours, if Bashert is Halacha Le
Maise? 2-) Write a Tnoim on Chol Hamoed even though Kseiva is forbidden. Why not wait until after Yom Tov is Bashert is halacha LeMaiseh?
Tha Steipler held that if a Bachur does not listen to Shidduchim during the age of 18 to 20, he does not end up marrying his Bashert.
Since it is against Halacha for an American Bachur to delay Shidduchim after 20, please don
t talk about Bashert. Its like robbing people and claiming that Parnosa is Bashert. Thats his Parnosa!
If some Balai Avaire are robbing & stealing money from Miss Bais Yakov student. Can they claim that Parnasa is Bashert, because this is the way Hashem gives them Parnasa.
The same is true with the boys that delay till 23. The girls are their victims. They claim that its Bashert for over 10% of the girls per grade per year to stay single. Rachmona Litzlan from their Farkrumte way of justifying their crimes.
t mix in the Ribono Shel Olam in to this. Boys delaying till 23 are not listening to Hashem, Halacha, and Daas Torah. They are transgressing on VeLo So
Suru Achrai Ainaychem. It is impossible not to have immoral thoughts when a person is single. Lo Tov Heyois HoOdom Levado. Gedolim in EY Paskened that there is a Lo Sa
Mod Al Dam ReYecho on the boys that are delaying Shidduchim