Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
“How would beis din give a woman malkus?”
That’s a good question. Can women get malkus? Maybe the Beis Din was on a high enough level that they didn’t have to worry about its being a breach of tznius.
Was malkus done by hand or with an object? Even if it were done by hand, it probably wouldn’t be considered דרך חבה when done by Beis Din, but I don’t think you can say that when it’s done by the kind of people who do these things today.
“The http://www.theyeshivaworld.com page isn’t working
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com is currently unable to handle this request.”
‘ve been getting those a lot too when I’m trying to go from one page to another. I’m usually not logged out altogether – I just can’t go to particular pages.
Also, every time I log off of the site, when I want to go back on, I have to sign in again. It didn’t use to be that way.
I keep having a problem with the “Mazel Tov” thread. First I couldn’t get in, and then when I did get in, I think it didn’t let my post go through. I’m not sure because I can’t get back in to check.
Even when it lets me in, it takes forever for some reason.
If you really want to daven for me with my real halachic name, I can give it to you through the mods. There’s no reason I can’t tell you my halachic name, since you wouldn’t be able to figure out who I am, but I wouldn’t be comfortable writing it for the whole world.
My niece told me, “Hashem loves the Yehudim because they are tznius. But sometimes they are not tznius, but He loves them anyhow.”
Rebshidduch – that is wonderful!!! I am so happy that you are speaking to someone who knows you about this! If she thinks it’s right for you and she knows you, then you should definitely listen to her advice.
lol
“It’s actually your post that did it.”
I knew that my post did it (by accident) – I just wasn’t sure if it did it for just me or for everyone.
I also had tried fixing it, but I guess I didn’t know how. Thank you very much for fixing it!!!
uh..RebYidd… that’s called being a moderator.
“But at the same time I myself am dating guys who are close to being OTD or actually OTD so there is a contradiction going on.”
That was point -or at least a big part of it.
Edit of my last post: I didn’t mean to write that the boys’ program was objectively better (necessarily). What I meant was that they liked it better. (It could be that it was also better objectively, but I don’t know).
Yekke2 – I had friends who did kiruv in Russia years ago. They said that the boys’ program was much better than the girls’ program because they actually learned.
I am wondering if this rule (about learning Gemara vs. hashkafa) depends on the particular population one is dealing with.
Russians are known to be very intellectual, plus this was a generation ago. Ask any seminary teacher who has been teaching for 20 years and they will tell you that today’s generation is very different than the generation 20 years ago. No one has the ability to concentrate or to think anymore, so teaching is much more difficult.
Today’s generation tends to be less intellectual, have more emotional issues, and is more in need of warmth.
So maybe this principle used to be true, but doesn’t apply today to the same extent. It also may depend on the age of the student.
This is just a hypothesis. You also may be right that there is a difference between a kiruv professional and an amateur. I think the bottom line is that people have to do what they are comfortable with.
Also, is it possible that what they mean is that you should start with learning Gemara and you should not be the one to bring up hashkafa but if that is the direction they want to go in, you should discuss it with them?
ZD’s theory also makes sense and fits with what the organizer told you. If you were a 17 year old Yeshiva bochur, it makes a lot of sense that he was nervous about your getting into a hashkafa discussion with someone not-yet-Frum – both about what he might tell you as well as what you might say to him – both could be major causes of concern.
“yitzmocha, I think I give up doing kiruv. I think I should do kiruv on my boyfriend before I do it on some random girl.”
Rebshidduch – this reminds me of when I was in seminary and I asked the head of my seminary if I should get involved with a certain modern co-ed kiruv organization. He told me I should be mekarev myself first before I’m mekarev others.
Rebshidduch, you are not yet at a stage that you should even be thinking of doing kiruv. If you have a boyfriend who needs kiruv, that shows that: 1. you are not ready to do kiruv & 2. you are not ready to have a boyfriend.
“I think I should do kiruv on my boyfriend before I do it on some random girl.
Well, go on then, LU… Your turn.”
Why do you always dump everything on me? I’m sure you can do a great job! After all, you seem to be great at kiruv!
RebYidd, what is a hygeienic labradoodle?
There may be some tznius problems with a man hitting a girl, so then she would have to hit him back for his breach of tznius and then it could go on forever until they are both dead. Of course, once they are dead, we don’t have to worry about either of them violating hilchos tznius anymore…
You mean it’s weird for you too and it’s NOT just me??!! I’m so happy to hear that! After Meno’s post, I thought it was just me and that I was the weird one!
Oh whoops, you’re right! Thanks for pointing that out. See what happens when we can’t edit? And can’t even see what we wrote right away?
btw, I did write Tzippy the second time.
Amen! Thanks! That is so nice of you! By the way, I just learned that when you’re davening for a refuah Shelaima for someone (and I assume it applies for anything else as well), if you don’t know their Jewish name, you can use their כינוי. And if you don’t know the parent’s name, you can use any other information you know about the person to identify them so it’s clear who you mean.
So if you daven for “lilmod u’lelamaid from the CR” that should be enough of an id for me.
(source: Dirshu footnotes on the Siman in Cheilik Aleph about “Refainu”.
Open-mouthed, Joe stared at Ruchy in shock. “How in the world did you do that?”, he asked.
“What do you mean? Don’t you remember when we were young and I used to tell you about all the things I learned in Bais Yaakov and in B’nos and you used to laugh at me that I’m only a girl and I don’t know what I’m talking about? Well, you see now that I did!”, she finished, triumphantly.
“But I don’t understand how that could be! Chazal say very clearly, נשים דעתיהן קלות, how could you possibly know something that I don’t know???!!”
“And besides”, he finished smugly, “girls don’t have a chiyuv to learn Torah and boys do, so how could a girl who has no chiyuv to learn Torah possible know something that a boy who does have a chiyuv to learn doesn’t know?”“But Joseph, the same Chazal who say נשים דעתיהן קלות also say that women have additional Binah!”
“Oh, right, that’s true…. hm, well maybe in that case you can give me some advice regarding a dilemma I’m having.”
“Sure, Joe, you know I’d do anything for my favorite brother.”
“Favorite brother????!!! What do you mean? I’m your only brother!!!”
“Right, exactly.”
“What?….Well, whatever, do you really think you can help me out?”
“Sure, I’d love to use my extra binah to help you! What’s the issue?”
“Okay.. Wait, a second.. how do you know what Chazal say about women and binah??!! You’re not allowed to learn Gemara!!! Have you been learning Gemara on the sly, Tzippy???!!!”
“Joe, she answered patiently, “It’s not assur for women to learn Gemara. The issur is on men teaching them Gemara. You never taught me Gemara, so you have nothing to worry about. Now what’s the issue?”
I think ZD has it on the money or the mark (or whatever the expression is). I used to be involved with one of these organizations, and I know that it is quite common for someone to sign up in a moment of inspiration or something else and to lose interest a moment later. This is especially true amongst the teenagers and college-aged students. Sometimes, it can also just be a bad “shidduch” and the student doesn’t know how to tell you.
That is why there usually are staff members available to help with these issues and/or act as a go-between between you and the student. You should call this staff member as soon as possible and discuss the issue with you. They will probably contact the student to find out what is happening and/or try to find you a new student who is more interested and is a better match for you.
Fortunately, as he was running away from the beagle, he bumped into his sister Tzippy who had faithfully attended B’nos groups every single Shabbos from the age of 5 until she got married at 19, so she knew EXACLTY what to do in such a situation. As soon as she recited the possuk of “l’chol B’nei Yisrael…” in a voice that could be heard for miles away, the beagle instantly retreated in fear, never to be seen or heard from again.
WTP -+1
JGS613 – +1. Thank you for your clearly written description coming from someone who has more recent information than I do. Your description fits my impression of the school. My one concern for Rebshidduch was that my impression of Midreshet Rachayl (from what I knew about the school many years ago) was that most of the students were at a different stage of life than Rebshidduch, and I wasn’t sure if it was so matim for someone at her stage of life. I am wondering what you know about that.
In terms of that, I would think that Neve would be more matim for her, since they have a lot of younger students.
Sometimes the name that is listed as the last poster on the thread is not in fact the last one (and this in on threads that do not have anyone “awaiting moderation”.)
WTP – you said that you hope that when I’m 60 I won’t consider myself old. This was part of a conversation about marrying guys who are 15 years older. So I was pointing out that if I do marry a guy who is 15 years older than me, then when I am 60 he will be 75, so it’s likely that I will consider myself old.
I wasn’t being completely serious, btw.
WTP – it was like that before. It’s because it takes time to update (I think). And when you looked at the video/photo (I don’t remember which one of those two it was) page, it came up in a very strange order – even different than on the main page. And this was all in the old CR.
🙁 I wish I had a shul where I could find the Sefarim I need instead of always having to find things online or find neighbors to borrow sefarim from or buy them myself.
LF – Mazel Tov! That’s so exciting!! And it’s such a zchus that your sons keep marrying Israeli girls!
Hatzlacha funding the trip! Sorry I can’t help…still trying to figure out how to pay for my own trip to the US….if you come up with any ideas, please let me know…
Hey WTP – it’s so cool that when I’m bored during US night time and I’m waiting for the site to be updated, I get to see updates from you. Even if I can’t actually read them, it’s cool that I can see that you’re online! I feel like I have some company!
Have a great Shabbos!
Nechomah – that is a very good point,
going to geninom is not a stira to getting reward. Many people have both – geninom for their aveiros (l”a) and reward for their Mitzvos.
but not everyone gets geninom for their aveiros- they can get their punishment in this world. At least Jews can, and I see no reason why it wouldn’t be the same for goyim.
Lakewhut – How are they opposites? And why call someone lost just because you disagree with him?
oh my gosh, I just had such de ja vous! Did you post the same thing before? I know I did.
I’m relieved because I felt bad for all those good people who I thought were doomed.
Regarding your last point, I know that, and that was one of my reasons for concern.
Those standing nearby quickly made their way over to Ruchy to see if she was okay. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to take in the scene around her. Momentarily, she forgot the reason for her distress as she allowed someone to help her into a sitting position and give her water to drink. As she was slowly sipping the water and trying to get her bearings straight, she suddenly remembered the reason she had fainted.
Knowing as she did that there was no way that her outfit could possibly match the standards of the dreaded Vaad Hatznius, terror overcame her once again as she clutched her heart in panic (and her skirt as well). As those around her attempted to soothe her, little knowing the reason for her fear, she forced herself to overcome her panic and try to think about the situation logically and attempt to come up with a realistic solution to her predicament.
huju – why, because you’ll inherit it faster?
Why the sad face – because 3 and 9 aren’t on hebrewbooks?
It’s funny – I wanted to look something up in 3 recently and it wasn’t on hebrewbooks, so I asked a neighbor for it and they didn’t have that volume either. I thought that maybe it didn’t exist or something, but then I asked another neighbor and they did have it.
But maybe it’s harder to get ahold of for some reason.
So what did you name him in the end?
Why daylight’s saving times is a bad idea:
I just accidentally made a whole bunch of brachos l’vatala! How was I supposed to know that the time on the computer changed automatically at 2:00 am, and it wasn’t really alos hashachar yet??!!
Great! I’m so happy to hear that you are switching schools! At this point, that really does sound like the best solution for you.
That is a really upsetting situation! Try to stay strong and focus on all the schar you are getting! You must be getting tons of schar in shamayim for holding on and putting up with all that abuse and remaining Frum despite what others are saying. It says somewhere that a Mitzvah done with yisurim gets 100 times (or maybe it’s a 1000 times) more schar, so you are getting tons of schar!
Most people who don’t keep kosher did not grow up Frum and can’t be expected to keep kosher unless they are “mekareved” first, since they don’t really understand why they should keep kosher in the first place.
Regarding tznius, we are talking about people who know that they are supposed to keep hilchos tznius, they have been taught it many times, and they do keep the other halachos so it should be expected of them (at least in theory) to keep tznius. Obviously, there must be a reason why they are finding it hard to do so, and I don’t think that intimidation is the answer; I am just pointing out the difference between the two.
Also, as Joseph pointed out, when it comes to tznius, you are being machshil others.
However, that still does not help us figure out how to enforce it. Apparently people are having a hard time keeping it, and one must figure out the best way to get them to do so.
Intimidation is not likely to work.
29 – you also said it another time recently and in both cases it didn’t sound like a joke. In the 20 questions thread, you said, “that’s what I get for playing with boys”. Why would you say that if you are a boy/man? Unless you wanted people to think you’re a female, but that’s an odd way to do so. And if you wanted people to think you’re female, why would you have said anything here? It’s much more likely that if you are trying to throw people off your track, you are doing so here.
RY – until 29 said she was female, I probably thought so too. Now I’ve decided that it’s more likely that more of them are female than male. I think that 25 is probably female, although you can never know for sure. And I think that 100 is male, although again, I can’t be sure. And I don’t know any others.
Why would you still be married if you were much older than your ex-wife? I was wondering the same.