Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Sjs, so you know better than Tanach and Shulchan Aruch?
WOW!
simcha613, I am SHOCKED! You described yourself as the perfect reason why men shouldn’t be in the room with dancing women, at a wedding or bar mitzvah or anywhere. You go watch women dancing at your mixed weddings, and then come here to justify that by saying, eh it wasn’t so bad for me to watch the women dancing by my mixed weddings since it was slow.
Feh.
dunno, you can’t add another venue to encourage “the immature ones” to stumble. Especially with a venue that everyone goes to, rather than one where they have to go a bit out of their way to find trouble. You could also also “help alleviate the so called shidduch crisis and reduce stress levels of singles in shidduchim” by opening a bar or disco.
“most”? so you’re going to throw the dice with peoples lives on the line…
here’s the thing. the people who would meet shidduchim at mixed partes, are not being left at the alter. people are not remaining unmarried because, nebech, they missed mixed parties.
there aren’t more unmarried 40 year olds (frum) today then there was 30 years ago. and the shidduch crisis that does exist stems from the age gap, not lack of mixed social settings.
people are getting married. even those who dont go to mixed settings. think of it like this: there is NOT a larger pool of unmarried singles in the chareidi community (which eschews mixed settings) than in the MO community (which favors mixed settings). hence the chareidi folks are getting married in at least as much numbers as the MO folks – without the mixed parties.
A wedding is to be m’sameach choson v’kalah. maybe these “shadchanim” can try their hand at the local bar. at least a bar is “designed” for “shidduchim”.
i recall yeshivish rabbonim were always mattir it for parnassa/filter. either way two wrongs dont make a right, so someone cant retort you are doing THIS wrong so dont complain when i do THAT wrong. anyways, can you tell me which rov assured it ever with “absolutely no internet” even for parnassa?? b&h, which is satmar chasidim – the most machmir about internet, has been selling online for over 10 years…
Wait, I just noticed Mod 80 already cited above a ???? ???? for this (as well as stepping over a baby)!
so there is a source in SA that men shouldn’t look in mirrors. what was the source re: babies?
if such swimming is Kalus Rosh it is permissible?
in yerushlayim essentially women dont wear sheitels because of the poskim.
marriage is over if you need beis din to enforce one spouses obligations? most certainly not! otherwise you could just head straight to divorce, and as we see in halacha you go to beis din to resolve and enforce if necessary marital obligations.
aside from the fact that she isn’t entitled to a divorce because her husband asked beis din to enforce her obligations, and thus he wouldn’t have to give one to her.
squeak: does any rov equate tv = filtered internet (i.e. jewish sites like yw only)? That is an invalid equation.
Sister Bear: There dressing like zona’s. I’ve seen it with unmarried girls too.
The problem yb613 describes is all the more pronounced, and even worse, in some bungalow colonies Friday night when the men come back from shul and must pass adult married women congregating — often loudly talking — drawing attention to themselves.
Thank you Kasha for all the sources listed.
Because when the same group of girls congregating and “socializing” on the streets when he goes to learn and then again when he goes to shachris and mincha and then again when he returns from shachris and mincha, and its the same people week after week, there is no way considering the teva the RBS”O gave us not to notice.
“They are going and coming and socializing.”
TADA! They should not be “socializing” on the streets! That is the opposite of the epitome of tznius.
Unfortunately too many don’t even understand the *concept*.
yb613 – so true. unfortunately you are going to get a bunch of posts here following up your expressing your concern by incredulous people who won’t even grasp the issue or problem.
smartcookie, you’re point is well taken and unfortunately all too correct. One additional aspect you seem to have overlooked, is how could YOU even be in that treifa hotel??? It is assur for your husband to see those prutzas.
They may well realize if they attempt to enforce it, it will
a) Chase the bochor away from the Yeshiva AND
b) He will continue shaving nonetheless
So it will accomplish nothing plus make matters worse by reducing his Limud Torah.
Who says they are so required? Another poster claimed as proof that since they do shave, it must be they are so allowed. But even that is not obvious. It may well be the R”Y simply feel powerless to fight this fight, even though they believe it to be wrong. They may well fear that it may chase some away from the Yeshiva, and it isn’t worth that trade-off.
The alleged uncited brief quote of Rav Gifter zt”l seems unsubstantiated so far here. It may well be accurate, but that is what I am asking for.
I never heard anyone (here or elsewhere) say having a plane for a business need, as Mr. Menorah had, is excessive by any stretch. I don’t see how you can compare one (a business use) to another (a flashy mansion). The Rabbonim have long forewarned us against a flashy lifestyle.
So far we have citations from the Chazon Ish, the Chofetz Chaim (in Machne Yisroel), Rav Kanievsky (in Ishei Yisrael) and the Pele Yoetz that one should maintain their beard and shouldn’t shave. Is their any heter anywhere that can be cited that does allow a Yid to forgo his beard?
A good wife will WANT her husband to learn as long as possible. A good wife will NOT cop out on her agreement to allow her husband to learn. A good wife will not expect her husband to be a mind reader. A good wife will have infinite appreciation and gratitude that her husband is a LEARNER. And a good wife will do everything in her power to insure her husband learns as longs as possible, as much as possible.
aries:
The holiness of Shalom Bayis? Of course, I’ve discussed it. If the husband wishes to continue Limud Torah, the wife in the interests of Shalom Bayis should strongly take action to enable him to.
Sacrifice? Of course, sometimes the couple realizes that they are NOT CUT out for the sacrifice of the holiest mitzvah, kneged kulum, of Limud Torah, and therefore continue engaging and basking in the holiness.
Limud Torah is a basic necessity for a Jewish family like water is for a fish; it is not a luxury. A wife who willingly sacrificies luxuries so her family can be steeped in Torah and her husband concentrated in learning, is worthy of the highest praise.
What is “MOFES”?
Is it 3500 – 4000 PER child for someone with 6 tuition aged children? What part of the US do you live? (I assume you are in the US.)
It may be less expensive in Brooklyn.
In chasidish schools standard tuition is often about 2000 per child.
The incremental costs are less. Retailers also offer volume discounts. Volume discounts, whether from a retailer or school, is in no way shape or form charity. The fact that it is often automatic, including for working parents, clearly demonstrates this fact.
She is paying 4800 X 3 currently, or 4800 for one of them while some are not in school yet?
She should certainly be able to find schools closer to 4000/year even without a volume discount. And a volume discount is standard fare even for working parents — not a charitable situation.
3 in school shes paying tuition for at 4800 each?
Even if so, she has less expensive choices.
At 6 IY”H, she will certainly be paying less PER CHILD.
SJS: How many children does she have? If she has 6 (as in your original example), I can’t imagine she is paying 4000/child.
In any event, there are certainly choices of schools for less than 4000/child even for one or two children.
Assuming a low tuition rate of $4,000/child with six children (well below average) that is $24,000 in tuition in after tax money alone.
4000/per child? Way off. Perhaps in MO schools; in Chareidi schools even working parents with 6 children dont pay 4000/child.
SJS, either you jest or are woefully mistaken. It is very possible to live on one salary in a kollel life, without resorting to any tzedaka.
The only reason for that mistake, is to equate a fashionable lifestyle as being necessary. It is not.
If you could never “judge” someones action, you could never fulfill your halachic obligation to give tochocho to someone doing something wrong.
aries: Learning Torah is not a “luxury”.
A good wife will go out of her way to make her husband happy and encourage him to continue his learning full speed ahead, even if it makes things a bit difficult for her.
I agree with the posters who wisely note that a mothers place is in the home, and that should be every mother’s innate desire.
popa – what kind of twerp are you to argue on the Chofetz Chaim!?! Yes, aveira transfer is a very real possibility.
If a person is getting closer to 18 (i.e. 16) and is still not ready for marriage, of course they should see to it that that the young person gets help to guide them into adulthood.
Of course the wife should strive to maintain the shalom bayis, and if Limud Torah is important to the husband the wife should do what it takes to keep the shalom bayis and ensure her husbands continued uninterrupted Limud Torah.
Is he a lights and sirens aficionado?
i agree. what halacha in shulchan aruch says mr. A has to hire or keep hired mr. B?
“Unfortunately smells, both good and bad cannot be avoided. Sights can.”
Sights can NOT always be avoided. People need to look ahead sometimes, to see where they are going. And by doing so they often inadvertently see things they do not want to. Once they saw, all the gates of hell can break loose, if you know what I mean.
And whilst its true we are on golus and cannot control the prutzas surrounding us, there is no excuse to add to them with our own.
Another galling excuse many prutzas give for dressing slutty is that the shiksas dress even worse, so why is it so bad if she dresses a little pritzusdik if the goyim dress mamish like a zoneh? Of course people are generally more attracted to opposites in their own ethnicity; and one more prutza on the street is one more pitfall; and in frum neighborhoods where the frum are the majority b’h you often don’t have to deal with too many shiksas around, so most of the problems are frum prutzas.
True, but one doesnt excuse the other. They’re both distinct problems, each in their own own right. And frequently a man will see it without intending to before he realizes what is happening (simply by inadvertently just looking ahead and seeing things in front of him).
Either way, a frum woman coming out of (or going in to) a car should never pose a tznius hazard, as unfortunately is so often the case these days in even the frummest neighborhoods.
“pointing out the obvious. When you see a potential situation (a car door opening and a woman getting out)that you can reasonably predict will cause you to see something untzniusdig”
THAT’S the problem!! It shouldn’t be obvious and “reasonably predictable that you will see something untzniusdig” when a frum woman gets out of a car.
THAT’S what has to change.
DH, the protest was also against the prutzas who wear them in a non-tznius manner, not just the sellers. But even certain clothing (eg a miniskirt) is essentially only used in a pritzus manner. And someone earlier mentioned the Chazon Ish prohibited selling pritzus clothing even to support someone in learning.
whats the difference between a sheid and a dybbuk?
and which one did the Chofetz Chaim expel from somebody’s body?
One of truest signs of the gadlus of the Shtusenstuffer Rebbe is that there is not a single mention of him across the entire treifa internet. I did a google search of him, and Baruch Hashem there was not a single result in google!
you’re not trying to say you’re a sheid, are you…