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frum – I agree with what your points, but doesn’t any party to any Bais Din case have a right to insist on ZABLAH?
Also, shouldn’t the Bais Din only authorize obtaining the decree after the completion of all related proceedings in Bais Din, with the proviso that it be entered as an agreed case with the results Bais Din decided?
It’s not permissible. Although I believe the appropriate term for someone who does go that route is a moredes.
Mazal Tov d a. May your family make many simchos soon. IY”H by you.
smartcookie:
That job would be a good fit… where can I get info? Thanks
The OP describes a real, and unfortunately common, problem. It is a blight upon our communities. It must be addressed ASAP. I know the Rabbonim shlita try hard addressing the Tznius Crisis in our midst, but this issue needs to prioritized.
We need to insist to the Beis Yaakov’s to properly teach our Bnos Yisroel proper street behavior. Not to let us parents off the hook, as we have primary responsibility.
Who said otherwise aries? So aries, WHO permits it? Is it something you would LIKE to be permissible, or someone you can source?
And if it is inconvenient for you to skip the stores, elevators, etc. that has background music, that does NOT make the forbidden permissible.
“is it better to stand in front of Hashem sweating in a hat and jacket in the 100 degree heat that can take away your concentration, or to daven without the hat and jacket and be able to concentrate better and be more presentable by not dripping with sweat?”
There aren’t many shuls around without air conditioning during the summer. Even if there is, I believe Rav Chaim Kanievsky answered your shaila – see above.
R’ Chaim Kanievsky has letters printed in a few seforim where he says that it’s better to daven b’yechidus with a hat & jacket than in a minyan without it.
There’s a far cry between a gvir eating dark bread and having the most ostentatious house in the neighborhood.
“There are way more issues faces Klal Yisroel today, than this one.”
More pressing issues are no excuse to be less vigilant on “less pressing” issues. Halacha requires a hat and jacket today (see MB) regardless of what we did in the midbar.
One thing is unrelated to the other. However much pritzus unfortunately is encountered on the streets, is no excuse to lessen the vigilance in filtering out the shmutz online.
It’s sometimes true when he leaves Kollel he drops a madreiga, nevertheless they still tend to be on a higher madreiga the longer they were in Kollel.
Dearest popa: A question is not an accusation. Ah gutte nacht.
If you didn’t miss the point, you are sadly mistaken.
The more Torah MOST CERTAINLY IS the more of a Torah home. This isn’t even debatable.
And most people in Kollel have a FAR FAR better idea how to transfer their Torah to their home, than those not.
And OMG, your last comment got ROTFL. Let’s just say that all your assumptions were way off the mark.
smartcookie, aside from being wrong, you COMPLETELY missed the point! Absolutely, the more Torah the better a Torah home. So Kollel is DEFINITELY 1,000% closer to a Torah-true home than non-Kollel. Kollel very much is pertaining to a Torah home.
What heter is there for background music? Never heard of any.
ESPN I wouldn’t go to ANY time of the year.
And whoever permitted shaving? (A cold shower is okay.)
Nowhere have I indicated anything is all or nothing. Learning Torah all day itself is a very successful form of Chinuch Habonim. The Gedolim have clearly indicated, for the many reasons I outlined above, learning all day is worth the tradeoff of the wife working, even though the latter isn’t ideal in itself.
See my last post for what a GOOD HUSBAND does.
“the problem is that girls are indoctrinated in yeshivah and seminary with the idea of men’s fulltime learning”
That’s no problem. They SHOULD be taught it is the best lifestyle. Because IT IS. One word of Torah learning imparts more holiness than an entire lifetime of doing other Mitzvos. Nothing compares. Nothing comes close. Not Kiruv, not Tzedakah, not Hatzalah, nothing. Please note, that all those other endeavors – the Mitzvah ones – are glorious and wonderful forms of Avodas Hashem. But Torah learning is a billion times greater. One world of Torah learning can bring more kedusha into this world than a lifetime of anything else.
It’s simply this: If I showed you a pile of coins and gave you 1 hour to collect as much as you can, you would spend as much time gathering the gold as you could. Torah is the greatest Mitzvah – one word of Torah, Chazal say, is more holy than an entire lifetime of doing Mitzvos. And we have one lifetime to gather our gold. Someone who appreciates that doesn’t care if he is halachicly obligated of not. Everyone agrees that learning Torah is gold. Even if you are not halachicly obligated to run after it.
Yes, a woman’s place is at home. But also yes, the type of home you are supposed to have is a Torah home, a Torah-husband and Torah-father at its helm.
The question is, if you can only have one of those two positive elements of a home, which is more important? The answer is having a husband and father who is a Talmid Chacham, or better yet, the biggest Talmid Chacham he can be, is the more important of the two. So if you can have both, fine; if not, then we choose learning.
I’m with missme.
isn’t that supposed to be a good thing? Shouldn’t stores be doing what they can to increase the number of customers?
Wolf, Yes, that’s exactly my point. I was suggesting that small Jewish retailers ought to implement that successful strategy. What did you think I meant??
Incidentally, I would posit that if more Jews would be makpid to purhase from Jewish stores then the profits would go up allowing stores to increase their profits and institute better return policies.
Ben Levi, IMHO, I think it needs to work the other way — that the Jewish retailers liberalize their return (and customer service) policies, and that will draw more customers and increase profit. The point is that the customers currently already have alternative choices with easier return policies, and as a practical matter for the Jewish retailers to compete they have to match that.
$4,000 for a Yeshiva Boy (3rd grade) in a Yeshivish/semi-Chasidish Brooklyn school with one child. Don’t know if it is the standard rate, as the school seems to negotiate tuition individually with each set of parents.
Is it worth risking permanent long-term major health problems for this?
Dr. Pepper –
You missed the point. You are talking about fraud. I am not. I am talking about what one is LEGALLY entitled to accept UNDER THE LAW as passed by Congress and the State Legislature.
government benefits were designed for people who fall into a situation where they are trying hard to make ends meet but can’t.
Indeed. That’s what it is by and large used for by our brethren. (That being said, I should note there is no legal requirement that they be “trying hard to make ends meet” as a test of qualifications for benefits.)
Government benefits were not designed to be used in financial planning.
Baloney. There are legal advertised financial planners who will advise how to utilize Medicare, Medicaid, etc. There is no law against financially planning based on benefits. If you feel there should be, petition Congress. Until then, it is fully legal, and will continue.
Statistics are widely available showing Jews have higher than average incomes thus they pay more real tax dollars into the system then the population at large.
Just because you are “entitled” to a service, doesn’t mean you should take it. Do you do that with Judaism also? You never look into the spirit of the law or try to go lefnim meshuras hadin? Do you never try to avoid a leniency, even though its technically ok?
Absolutely one should accept every government dollar he is entitled to, whether food stamps or whatever. His Jewish brethren pays taxes for that purpose, it should go less disproportionately to non-Jews who ARE more than willing to take everything offered? Rubbish. Take every penny available. Jews pay more taxes than average.
There is NO concept of “lefnim meshuras hadin” with governmental monetary issues. That idea is absolutely absurd and insane.
We pay more and we are entitled to take what is offered. We still are putting in more than we take out, relative to the population at large.
I’ve spoken to Rabbonim who’ve clearly said surgery should be avoided unless absolutely a medical requirement.
And I fully agree with them.
Tell those anti-semites that
1) Less Jews (percentage) than the population at large use governmental welfare services
2) Jews pay more (percentage) taxes than the population at large
Thus Jews who legally qualify for medicaid, food stamps, etc. are fully entitled and expected to take full advantage.
Tell them to start worrying about the far larger numbers (hard numbers and percentage wise) of African Americans, Hispanics, and other ethnic groups that put themselves in a situation or lazy around to require services.
SJS, please spare us your holier than thou attitude, and do not compare legally qualifying for food stamps and medicaid to “lie, cheat and steal”. Yes, Jews pay taxes that pays for food stamps, medicaid and Jews should be no less willing to LEGALLY accept what they qualify for than African-Americans who LEGALLY utilize these services in far greater numbers and percentages. I’d even venture to say Jews use government service a lot less than the overall use by the population at large.
I’d strongly encourage every single Yid who qualifies for any of these gov’t services to take full advantage of them to the full extent of the law makes it available to them. To not do so, it to be a fool.
There was a whole discussion of this issue yesterday on YWN:
BPTotty: Its a matter of what level of frumkeit Hashem wants. It isn’t – or shouldn’t be – really a matter of choosing or choice or comfort level.
My screen name is that I consider all yidden to be my friend.
I believe if a store institutes a liberal return policy, it will draw more customers thus increasing their profit. The reason large succesful retailers have liberal return policies is because they know that policy entices more shoppers.
Isn’t “Volf” quite a Chasidish name?
LAer, I hope I misunderstood your meaning of WMD.
I tend to agree many of the service comparisons being made here between “Jewish” stores and “Non-Jewish” stores in reality are comparisons between “mom and pop” stores — Jeiwsh or not — and national chains. Larger retailers tend to have longer more liberal return policies, while smaller stores tend to be more stringent about returns.
“What bothers be is I feel like we now have to go to this Jewish guy and shop at his store.”
What makes you feel like this? Your halachic conscience?
“Additionally I dont like the idea of a kosher liquor store since there is no hashgacha on the place and there are legitimate shailas about the kashrus of all the bottles of liquor in the store.”
No more than compared to the non-Jewish store.
“Additionally when I buy wine i dont want to be bothered.”
This is a service question, which the OP ancillary addressed in his original query.
The funniest thing is, about 25 years ago “Global Cooling” was all the rage (although the Global Warming fanatics will vociferously deny this today). When that theory fell apart, Global Warming became their new doctrine and theology. They keep getting caught up in their lies, including many exposures on the Warming lie.
“This leads to the most average, or even below bachur, expecting to learn for a good few years”
That’s a good thing. Kollel isn’t dependent upon being a “top bochor”; all bochorim equally have a right to Kollel — including “average” and “below average” bochorim. Average or astuteness isn’t a requirement or even factor. Nor should it be.
Considering the success of those who do marry young today, comparatively to those who marry a little bit older, I would say it is highly recommended and to be strongly encouraged – just as Chazal and the Gedolim of our own generation recommend.
There are so many balas tznius that don’t look down on those on lower madreigas. If anyone needs tznius role models, they are certainly out there. The question is, does she even want a role model or does she want to continue down the path shes unfortunately already on.
“Many ppl mature when they are older-especially when they are out in the “big ” world and not just coming fresh out of their sheltered school.”
blinky – That’s exactly why the Gedolim, like I quoted, strongly urge us to get married BEFORE we get far away from our sheltered schools into the big (bad) world.
The earlier a person gets married, the better. 18 is ideal. A little older or a little younger is also good. Like Rav Miller wrote for our own generation, a Beis Yaacov girl should be wed soon after or before graduation. Every day after she leaves the Beis Yaakov marks another step away from idealism, for the street and the office and the secular school have an unfailing effect which increases from day to day.
“what is necessary for a person to be suitable for marriage?”
Put on a suit — and a chosson tie.
yossi – age is the only technical “requirement” that comes to mind.
blinky – sometimes that’s true, and often it is not.
artchill – Nu, everyone needs common sense.
artchill – I hear it infrequently from both parents and youngsters. They may express it differently but have the same feeling.
And how often do you hear youngsters come up with the most half-witted, moronic, sophomoric, boorish, boneheaded, mindless, imbecilic, absurd “requirements” for their prespective shidduch?
All too often.
You can easily, and accurately, reverse what you said, to say… nowadays what I hear what some youngsters “want” for their shidduch is immature and childish. I’m not saying this as a generall thing; there are many wise youngsters out there who know these matters, but definitely the parent should have a say, after all they have years of experiance!
kvod hatorah – You are absolutely correct. No one should be taken away from the Gemorah. NO ONE. Anyone who someone (anyone) is trying to shlep away from the Gemorah, should immediately speak to his Rosh Yeshiva for an eitza. And surely he will be matzliach in learning.
Chazak V’amatz. Have courage, do what’s right, and do not fear or pay any heed to the naysayers.
yossi – 18 years old, at the latest. Back in the day, we would get married earlier. But the Mishna in Pirkei Avos does say Shemonah Esre L’Chuppa.
philosopher – Jewish parents are by and large very reasonable, any personal experience notwithstanding. And parents probably have a better idea what is right that an 18 year old shnook.